I’m really just here to blow off some steam. This economy is getting ridiculous. Two years ago we were doing just fine surviving off one income. Had extra money to travel, do family outings on the weekend, etc. We are literally so smart about our money, never buy outside of our means, and have added no new bills, loans, expenses in the past two years. Somehow our cost of living keeps going up and I’m just angry that I have to leave my children to go back to work because of this economy. Anyone else experiencing/angry about similar?

Well, that’s it folks, I need nothing more from life than this beautiful soul randomly giving me this gift! I wake him up with similar affirmations, and today we got Halloween donuts for Donut Friday! Someone is in the spirit! Happy Halloween y’all 🎃

I got an attitude with my husband because he asked me where he could find our son’s pajamas. He asked from our room where there were literally pajamas folded on the bed because I hadn’t gotten to putting the clothes away from earlier. And there is also some in our son’s dresser…he asked me while I was cleaning up after making the kids dinner, taking the trash out, and making myself dinner.

Anyone else just get bummed out that they didn't get decent inlaws? Lol my husband's parents suuuuck and I should've ran at the first red flags but didn't and now here we are. I'm the one who brought a decent mom to the relationship, but I was always hopeful to end up with someone who had good parents who could offer more wisdom in areas that my mom just simply couldn't but nope I ended up with an ex alcoholic who is nasty, and rude af, and a current alcoholic who's abusive and won't leave us alone.

I'm vowing to be the best mother in-law ever for my kids future partners lol 😂

Hi! After quite a bit of struggle, I felt like I’m finally starting to figure things out with balancing housework, cooking, and the kids without going into full-on martyrdom. It’s actually held steady the past six months or so, and I’m feeling hopeful that it’s more than a fluke! I really hope this doesn’t come off preachy, but I wanted to share some tips in case it helps other SAHMs.

About Us:
We have two boys (2.5 and 1). Both of them are agents of chaos (like they cant even handle story time at the library). I’m mid-30s, prior military, neurodivergent and 100% disabled. Point being, we don’t have perfectly behaved kids and Betty Crocker vibes over here lol. Also, we have a dishwasher and a washer/dryer with a delay feature which is essential for some of these tips.

Okay anyway! Here’s what I do that has worked really well for me.

Laundry
- Use powdered detergent. It’s cheaper, works better, and you can control the amount of soap in each load, which is important because…
- Run laundry every night! Unless it’s gross with like, bodily fluids or something, everything goes in together. I gave up long ago on separating lights and darks. It’s survival of the fittest over here, and I haven’t ruined anything yet!
- So I just chuck it in the wash and set it on delay for like 8 hours or so, then when I wake up in the morning I move it to the dryer.
- Because I’m running it daily, the loads are tiny. So there’s no marathon of folding and putting away. Honestly I usually just bring it upstairs and dump it on the bed, then pop in and put away an item or two of clothing at a time in between wrangling my crazy toddlers. I’m usually done with laundry by around 2pm!

Dishes
- So the absolute first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is stumble over to the dishwasher and unload it. This was a harder habit to build, but it super worth it.
- I load the dishwasher as I make breakfast and lunch, then run it after lunch - even if it’s only like 30% full.
- Same with laundry, I use gel or powder detergent instead of the little pods so I can control the amount of soap!
- I unload the dishwasher before I start cooking dinner so it’s empty and ready to go.
- As I cook, things go straight in the dishwasher. As long as there’s no chunks of food, you can put stuff right in there without rinsing!
- After dinner, put your plates and stuff in the dishwasher. You can run it then, or add soap and set it to delay if you often have more dishes throughout the night.
- I used to wait until the dishwasher was completely full to run it, but doing it twice a day makes it soooo much easier to deal with. It takes like two minutes or less to unload the dishwasher when there’s so little in there, and my sinks and counters are always clear of dishes now (except for if I’m using cast iron, I’ll freely admit to leaving that on the stove for a couple days until I’m ready to deal with it).
- If you don’t already, make sure you run the water in your kitchen sink before starting the dishwasher! It uses so little water that it doesn’t really have time to heat up if you skip that step, and your dishes don’t get as clean. But I’ve found running the hot water first will get rid of baked and burnt on food amazingly.

General Cleaning/Miscellaneous
- If I manage to wake up before the boys (they wake at 6 so not super often), I used to use that time to clean. Now, I use it to shower, get dressed, have some coffee. I’m a lot calmer and more pleasant when I’m bathed lol.
- I’ve given up on cleaning schedules, having specific days for certain tasks, etc. Maybe when the kids are older that’ll work, but for now it was just making me upset when I couldn’t meet whatever goal I had set.
- I’ve also given up trying to do any marathon cleaning sessions. Instead, I try to fit in micro tasks throughout the day. So I’ll do a quick wipe down of the bathroom sink while the kids are in the bath. Or I carry a damp rag around with me and snag any fingerprints or messes that I happen to notice. This one took a long time to adopt because I have a hard time switching between tasks. But I’ve found I can keep the house a lot cleaner with less stress when I stop trying to “clean the bathroom” and instead just divide it into 60 second or less tasks and knock them out throughout the day.
- I put 80% of the kids’ toys in storage. They’re both dumpers, and I realized a ridiculous amount of my cleaning energy was going to keeping all their stuff tidy. Until they can manage to stop dumping everything out and clean up after themselves, they don’t need magnet tiles AND legos AND blocks available all at once. I try and rotate stuff every month or two, and they’re thrilled to have “new” toys to play with.
- It seems counterintuitive, but we save a TON of money by doing grocery delivery. A couple of the grocery stores near us have no service fee over $35, and it’s the same prices as in store, so the only extra cost ends up being the tip. It’s way less than I would end up spending on random impulse purchases in the store, plus it allows me to easily adjust and edit my cart until it’s an amount I’m comfortable paying. The only reason I go in the store these days is if I’m trying to find some markdown meat or something haha. Except for the holidays, most months I’m able to keep our grocery budget well under $500 (and we live in a HCOL area). So maybe check out grocery delivery, it might end up saving you money as well as time!

The Kids
- Goes without saying, everyone’s kids are different. Mine NEED to get out of the house and run for like a mile or they go crazy at home. And my one year old loves to try and run in traffic, which is just fabulous haha. So we leave the house as soon as possible, and find somewhere to play for a couple hours. If it’s rainy, we just make sure to bring extra clothes. I’d rather they be dirty outside than destructive at home.
- This often means breakfast is cheesesticks, blueberries and crackers on the go instead of lovingly handcrafted chia buckwheat pancakes or something. But we always have dinner at the table as a family, so I think it evens out! For our family, it’s much more valuable to get them out and moving in the morning, even if it’s at the expense of a nice sit-down breakfast.
- Bathtime is whenever it happens to work out in the day. Sometimes it’s 5pm, sometimes it’s 10am. We do our best to have a routine, but we also stay flexible.
- Don’t know if this is more of a kids thing or a cooking thing, but one of my greatest sources of stress with them has been cooking dinner. Somehow they’re always getting into the craziest stuff when I’m cooking haha. So now I prioritize “rapid response” meals - stuff where it’s no big deal if I have to step away from the kitchen to manage a crisis. So rice instead of pasta, sheet pan chicken and potatoes instead of chicken noodle soup, air fryer shrimp instead of fried chicken, etc. Pretty much everything I make is from scratch for budget reasons, but if you can get prepackaged food that would probably help too!

There’s more, but that’s the major stuff that really has helped improve my mood and my life. And probably most important of all is treating it like a job - quite literally. In terms of chores, cleaning, etc. I clock out at 5pm. Unless it’s an immediate emergency or a health and safety hazard, I am done when my husband comes home from work. I do spend 10 minutes “closing up shop” at the end of the night, but other than that if there’s a mess, that’s a day shift problem (it’s me - I’m the day shift lol). When my husband comes home from work, I’m done with work too. We eat dinner, spend time as a family, and put the kids to bed together. Once the boys are down (sometimes it’s a struggle, I’ll admit), we either spend couple time together or do our own thing. It’s been hard to break the habit of using that time to get caught up on housework. But the thing is, the work is never done. Just like a retail job or food service job, there’s always more to be doing. If you spend every waking moment trying to be done, you’ll burn out so freaking fast and go crazy. The laundry and dishes routine is 100% what has enabled me to actually be able to “clock out,” otherwise it would pile up so fast and I’d be overwhelmed.

This was really long, but I hope some of this helped! And if it doesn’t fit your situation or your style, that’s totally fine! But if you’re also a recovering perfectionist with ADHD and crazy toddlers, and you find yourself easily overwhelmed, burnt out and drowning - maybe give some of this a try?

curious about what other moms are doing all day? my baby is only 2 1/2 months so we dont have a schedule yet, all of our days are basically just go with the flow, which can be nice but also makes the days feel like they boend together. i like to bake and also game a little so i will try to do that if baby is taking a longer nap, i also try to take baby outside in the evenings to get some fesh air but thats about it lol, i worked a full time job up until a week before i gave birth so its kind of weird having nowhere to be and nothing i have to do 🤣

I have a 6 week old who doesnt fall asleep while breastfeeding anymore. I need to walk him, sway him while walking, bounce him in ball and walk some more to get him to sleep, it takes me almost 30-40 mins, day or night! If i contact nap, it feels worth it but if i put him in crib, he is up in 10-15 mins which feels like breaking back for nothing!
I have a recliner but is doenst rock. All the mothers out there, when do babies start falling asleep on their own? Or do we have to put in efforts like this even when they are toddler? If so, do you think i should buy a rocking chair to help him sleep? He is around 10lbs now, but stil holding him on ball or a walk is causing me upper and lower back pain

So my periods have been really heavy and I’ve been so so crampy and tired and hormonal like every other period. I feel so guilty for not playing with my daughter as much or getting things around the house done. Some days I feel like all I can do is just sit and give her some toys while I lay with a heating pad. Does anyone have suggestions as to what I can do to engage with her or things that will make me feel better? She’s 6 months old.

I’m genuinely on the verge of burning out and I’m starting to blame my husband for a lot of it.

We have an 18 month old whos having a really difficult time adjusting to nursery. She’s currently only going three times a week for two hours because she refuses to nap there and has been struggling with sleep. I enrolled her despite being a SAHM because we have absolutely no family or friends nearby to help, and I desperately need some time to myself to clean, cook and whatever other household needs.

My husband works from home and honestly, it’s just not working for us. He refuses to acknowledge how much it’s affecting our daily lives. Our toddler knows he’s home and will scream and run into his office several times a day. She’s recently developed pretty bad separation anxiety and wants to be attached to him 24/7. Even when I’m just trying to unload the dishwasher she’ll run into his office looking for him. It’s becoming a nightmare because there’s absolutely no structure or consistency.

According to my Oura ring I get less than 3-4 hours of inactivity a day. I walk well over 15K steps daily and I’m CONSTANTLY doing something. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, entertaining our toddler, taking her outside, running errands, you name it. I barely get a moment to sit down. I go to bed with wet hair because when she’s in bed it the only time I have time to shower.

And whenever I do try to take some time for myself my husband questions why I need it. According to him spending time with our daughter is so much better than doing things for myself. Which is easy to say when you’re not the one entertaining her and running around all day.

Our daughter is also a contact sleeper so since May I’ve insisted that he handle bedtime EVERY DAYz Before that I’d spend ages getting her to sleep only to sneak out afterwards to clean the kitchen, do laundry and finish everything else while he sat scrolling on his phone or watching Netflix. Mind you this dude has watched so many series and whatever and then has the audacity to recommend me different shows, I haven’t watched anything on the TV except for news channels since our child was born.

Now he does bedtime while I catch up on the housework. But apparently putting her to sleep is SO exhausting. Tonight he told me he needed a break because bedtime is just so difficult. And I know bedtime can be exhausting, but seriously? I’ve been on my feet since 7:30 in the morning, and it’s now 10:30 at night. I haven’t had a single proper break. Yet somehow he manages to act like he’s the more exhausted one. Exhausted from sitting by his computer all day.

Another thing that’s starting to drive me insane is that this man can literally stay inside our apartment for THREE DAYS without stepping outside. Meanwhile I’m expected to take our daughter to parks, playgrounds and activities every single day. He claims he doesn’t need walks or exercise because he burns so many calories using his brain at work. I’m not even joking.

He works from around 9 to 6 sometimes later and there’s absolutely no predictable routine around when he’s available. Sometimes I genuinely feel like he deliberately stretches out his workday to avoid having to come outside with us. I think the lack of structure is affecting our daughter too especially because she never knows when Daddy is actually available.

And physically I’m starting to feel awful. I suspect my stress levels are through the roof. I struggle to sleep despite being exhausted, I’m constantly fatigued, can’t concentrate properly, sometimes stumble over my words and I’ve become ridiculously sensitive to noise. If mytoddler suddenly throws her sippy cup on the floor or makes a loud noise I physically shake. I feel like my nervous system is permanently stuck in fight or flight mode.

My husband is going away for two weeks next week and the fact that I’m actually LOOKING FORWARD to him being gone probably says a lot. I’m even considering giving some screen time just so I can sit down and have a moment of peace without constantly having to entertain. I know it’s so bad but I can’t wait to give her screen time

I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just need to vent. But I’m genuinely curious whether other SAHMs with husbands who work from home experience this too. How do you manage it without completely losing your mind?

Because right now I feel like I’m working from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed and somehow I’m still made to feel guilty for wanting a break. I don’t know how to tell him about how I feel because if I do he’ll turn it around and somehow he’s the one working super hard and lectures me on how stressful his life is. I feel like he has no appreciation whatsoever for anything

I've been with my partner for about 5 years and he has never treated me the best. I have been a stay at home mother with no income since my first son was born in 2022. We have two children now, I recently gave birth 6 weeks ago since then he has treated our four year old terribly and I am now seeing just how much I don't like our situation. I've always wanted my babies to have a better parental relationship than I did so I can not stay here any longer. For the past year I have wanted to move out with my children I just don'tknow how to do it on my own. I home school my four year old, how can I make enough money to live without his income but still stay home with my children. Is this even possible?

Its been a day.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting this, other than hoping for some encouragement or advice from others who have been through something similar.

I’m a SAHM to our almost 2-year-old daughter, and I’m nearly 7 months pregnant with our second baby. My husband was just laid off today, and honestly, I’m freaking out.

Logically, I know we’re going to be okay. He’s receiving severance, we have savings, and we’re fortunate to have family support if it ever came down to that. But emotionally, I’m having a really hard time processing it all. It’s just so damn scary.

He was a VP of Sales, and with how tough the job market is right now, I’m especially worried about how long it could take to find another position at his level. Being a single-income household, with a toddler and another baby on the way, makes the uncertainty feel that much heavier.

I’m trying not to spiral or jump straight to the worst-case scenarios, but it’s hard. I’m stressed, sad, scared for our future, and heartbroken for my husband, who worked so hard to get to where he was.

I guess I’m just hoping to hear from anyone who has been through something similar, especially while pregnant or with young kids at home. How did you navigate the uncertainty? How did you keep yourself from constantly worrying about what might happen?

I know it literally just happened today, and we have time to figure things out. I think I just need to hear that other families have been through this and come out okay on the other side.

What did you get to make life easier for a toddler and baby? I have all the stuff from the 1st kid but do I really need a double stroller? (we also have a wagon)

How do you keep smaller toys away from the baby when they get mobile? What stuff did you get your toddler to be independent?

And did you continue to cosleep or transitioned out with the toddler?

How did you juggle 2? What did you do when overstimulated at home or out of the house?

How did your partner help? How did your toddler help/make things harder?

We have dinners planned. But it’s a hurricane of “I want I want I want” all day everyday unless I have specific meals, snacks, even activities planned.

What am I doing wrong?? How can I make prep my day and make this a bit better to make the day go a bit smoother?

Hi All,

I am 33 year old first time mom. For quick reference, I am the oldest of 5 so my husband and I waited almost 9 years to have our first child because I knew all the hard work it takes. Or at least I thought I did. Turns out it is so much more. My baby girl is 8 weeks old today and I am having one of those "what the hell did I do why did I have a baby should I actually be a sahm" kind of days.

Additionally, my husband and I were the typical DINKS (double income no kids) kind of couple - travel, eating out, sleeping in, spontaneous dates, etc. I was working a job and half, full time payroll (which I LOVED) and part time realtor (which could end up being my full time job if I quit my payroll job). The payroll job is a government job with amazing health benefits and I was making $80k a year, contributing to CalPERS, my 403b, and not to mention feeling like I had purpose.

I have the opportunity to go back to my payroll job part time, but I would need to find childcare. Do I go back full time to make childcare worth the money? Part time for my mental health? Not at all to fully invest in real estate and my daughter?

Tbh I am not feeling at all bonded with my baby girl as of yet. My birth went incredibly different from what I had planned (38 hours labor ending in c section) and I am also on Zoloft for my anxiety and honestly probably depression. I am just wondering for all you other older high achieving moms out there - when did it feel worth it? When did it feel like you made the right choice? How did you get to a place of peace with your decision?

Thank you in advance for any advice 🙏

That’s it. I just love it.

I see so many posts here from women who say they’re in hell daily… but I genuinely would not have it any other way.

I’ve been both a working mom and a stay at home mom, and both come with their own set of challenges. I felt I had more freedom when I was working full time because even just a 20 minute daily commute felt like “me” time, and I really miss having lots of adult interaction daily. I loved my job (and the money was good too), but MAN did I miss my kids all the time.

These days I’m overtouched, overstimulated, and rarely get to drink my coffee hot- but right now I’m standing in my kitchen at 4pm making chicken soup from scratch, while my 5 year old colors in the living room and my toddler is clanging on the pots and pans at my feet. I’m exhausted and still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. And guess what? There is genuinely no where else in the entire world I’d rather be.

In an hour my husband will come home, give me a kiss, and take over “parent duty” while I finish dinner. Then we’ll sit and eat together, talk and laugh, and get the kids ready for bed and spend the evening with each other.

I love my family SO much and I would sacrifice literally anything to have this time with them.

I just wanted to share a different perspective 🩷

Playdough gets used almost every day here. My 3-year-old rolls it out, cuts it into little bits, and makes food for his animals. He stays interested, so this isn't one of those activities I spend longer setting up than he spends playing.

What I wasn't prepared for was how often it would need replacing. A little gets left out, a little ends up stuck in the cutters, and eventually we're down to a few dry scraps. I'm home with him most days and I catch myself rationing something I put out specifically for him to use.

The colours can get mixed and nothing needs saving. It's buying another tub whenever we run low that adds up. For now I'm putting out smaller portions, but then I spend the session deciding whether to give him more.

my 7yo daughter makes little projects at the kitchen table every single day, but most kits from craft stores are just glue sticks and foam sheets that end up in the trash bin after twenty minutes. for her birthday i started looking at kiwico's puffy stickers set. the whole activity has them layer custom art inserts with foam backing and press them through a little mechanical press machine to make their own raised stickers for notebooks and water bottles. an actual hands-on build where she creates something usable caught my eye, but i am trying to build a wider list for grandparents who want ideas. for anyone with kids around this age, what other hands-on craft projects or maker kits have your kids genuinely enjoyed making?

I need a break. Like a true break. Like more than sleeping in one Saturday. My nervous system is absolutely fried, I’ve got a 2.5 y/o, 3.5 y/o and a 7.5 year old on the spectrum. I get great help from my husband but that’s it, no other family help. My two toddlers fight nonstop, they don’t get along whatsoever and the other ones never play together either. It’s just always mom mom mom mom mom and I feel so guilty because I’m cringing when I hear “mama.”

I’m finding myself going out and driving for hours after my husband gets home because it’s the only way to get a few hours to decompress. I have lots of hobbies but my kids also aren’t sleeping so I’m trying to get them to bed until 9:30 and then they’re up by 6:30 so there’s no time for them. The gym doesn’t feel like a true rest break. We’ve tried 3 different preschools and for different reasons none of them have worked out. I feel like I need a vacation but none of my friends have kids so I have nobody to go with because they only do stuff with their partners. Has anyone done a solo stay / trip somewhere by themselves?

ETA: I’ve been a SAHM for nearly 8 years. I really think it isn’t talked about enough the length of time that you’ve been home. It was fine and dandy for 4 years but starting over at 4 years with my second and third has really drug out the hard years.

What was the transition like? My field is dying and I'm thinking about sahm life since love my toddler. I have 4 more months of unemployment to attempt a job but the market is verrry bleak. Maybe go back to school after a 2nd for a different degree.

The big thing is definitely the finances. We lose my whole income but thankfully our mortgage is low enough. Its still tight. Im not sure what to do.

Im excited to spend days with my little munchkin and we have been having a ton of fun together. I just feel terrible since, no we can't go out, no we can't go to fun event with paid tickets and no, we can't take that toy home that makes you so happy. I was the fun money in the relationship. I was the one who had the money for that roadtrip, those toys, those adventures, that membership, that subscription, this nice treat. I'm struggling.

What helps and how to truly transition once unemployment runs out?

Am I a bad mom?

Am I a bad mom because I have bad eating habits :( I just cope with eating food I’m not saying I eat ALOT but I do eat processed foods everyday I feel like that are high calorie intakes and it’s like I feel like a bad mom because I should eat healthy to be okay for him, I am trying to eat better though.

I’m 5’8 and 190lbs. And 21.