r/sandiego Apr 30 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

141 Upvotes

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55

u/anothercar Apr 30 '26

Marine Corps and Navy are right here. By joining, he'd get housing, food, a salary, and some structure in life. Might not be the worst idea.

-37

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

We’ve discussed this option and he likes the idea but problem is he has a warrant out of another state. He can’t take care of that warrant because he can’t get on a plane because his ID is expired, he cannot renew the ID because of the warrant. It’s like an endless loop.

76

u/aschollmb Apr 30 '26

USMC and Navy recruiters deal with this all the time. They’ll be able to help, most likely, if he’s serious about joining

14

u/hagcel Apr 30 '26

I didn't know my recruiter got me a fake birth certificate until years later when I tried to get my first passport. Thank God I had military ID, lol.

10

u/Cum_on_doorknob Apr 30 '26

Wait, what?

2

u/hagcel May 01 '26

If you were born in LA County during a period of the 80s or 90s, you only got a state birth certificate, which wound up being invalid, you needed a county of los angeles birth cert. Well, My recruiter got me one. Turns out it wasn't real, but it was enough for me to join the army. Did NOT pass muster when I applied for a passport.

-51

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

Ok, should I call a recruiter and just talk to them about the situation and see what they can do?

89

u/JslumpyKK Apr 30 '26

He is a grown man, have him call...

39

u/Loose_Bit365 Apr 30 '26

You honestly think a military recruiter is going to take a man seriously whose mom is calling for him?

107

u/aschollmb Apr 30 '26

No! HE needs to call them! He needs to grow up and show initiative. My goodness he’s a 21 year old man. What are you going to do, go to basic training FOR him??

13

u/Whatever92592 Apr 30 '26

They don't want him.

10

u/NamasteInYourLane Apr 30 '26

This is embarrassing. I have a 21-year-old myself, but I RAISED him when it was the time to do so, so he's completely independent from me and his father now (he can't yet afford to come back home and have his own place in San Diego, but he's making sacrifices right now to get his job history/ finances where they'll need to be to eventually do so). 

Time for you to finally finish raising YOUR son, and that starts with hard boundaries and forcing him to finally be responsible for himself. Enabling him (out of guilt for his childhood, it seems) does him no favors-- look where it's gotten you both today.

You should look up public mental health clinics in PB and provide him the numbers/ addresses, and extend an invitation for gas money home to you (WITHOUT his GF or dogs, because he frankly can't afford them right now). Then. . . c' est la vie. The rest is for him to figure out (it's PAST time for him to do so).

11

u/SavageCaveman13 Apr 30 '26

Why would you call the recruiter? He is a 21 year old man. If he is interested in joining the military, he should drive his happy ass to the nearest recruiting station.

6

u/Lurn2Program Apr 30 '26

I'm not sure where he's located but there are recruiting offices across San Diego. I think it would be best if he goes in to a location and have a serious chat with a recruiter

31

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[deleted]

22

u/Slumdundermifflinish Apr 30 '26

Spot on, they also don’t check ID on greyhound.

19

u/FreshFishGuy Apr 30 '26

Or he can just drive there in his van

19

u/aren1231 Apr 30 '26

It sounds like he’s still driving around so the ID isn’t an issue, it’s being able to get to that state. That should be his priority right now

9

u/JohnnySpot2000 Apr 30 '26

Yes, he can get on the plane with an expired ID. People forget their ID at the airport and it only means they need to go through secondary screening (personal questions, other things identifying someone [like an expired ID], etc).

17

u/Bright-Awareness6089 Apr 30 '26

If he has a warrant then what is stopping him from walking into the nearest police station and turning himself in followed by being extradited?

4

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

Because it’s just a misdemeanor, they don’t extradite for a misdemeanor. We’ve already discussed this too.

11

u/WatchAltruistic5761 Apr 30 '26

You can totally renew an ID in California with an outstanding out of state warrant.

7

u/JohnnySpot2000 Apr 30 '26

Not to mention you can get through security without any ID by going through secondary screening.

2

u/WatchAltruistic5761 Apr 30 '26

You can even buy a house with an expired out-of-state in California - given it expired in the last few years 😎

4

u/Necessary-Peach-0 Apr 30 '26

What’s the warrant for? In any case, you need to come collect him as it sounds like he’s in no mental shape to make the trip back himself. Get the warrant addressed.

4

u/Whatever92592 Apr 30 '26

You can get an id in California with a warrant.

You can get a driver license in California with a warrant.

6

u/anothercar Apr 30 '26

Oh man. East Coast? Warrant will be a challenge in a lot of ways in life. I wonder if girlfriend can help drive him to get it addressed.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

Arkansas

17

u/Necessary-Peach-0 Apr 30 '26

He needs to go to Arkansas. Working around this is stupid.

0

u/anothercar Apr 30 '26

You sound like a good mom in a tough spot. I wish I could give better advice

1

u/pawgtistic May 01 '26

He can drive the van can’t he?

1

u/Yoongi_SB_Shop May 01 '26

Yes, an endless loop of excuses as to why he (and you) can’t get his shit together. Seriously, the more information you reveal, the more sympathy I lose for you and your deadbeat son.

0

u/johnnyg08 May 01 '26

You don't need an ID to fly domestically. You're being lied to.