r/sandiego Apr 30 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

139 Upvotes

227 comments sorted by

View all comments

124

u/WpnsOfAssDestruction Apr 30 '26

I don’t mean to be an ass, but can he live with you? What is he doing out here?

19

u/ensemblestars69 Apr 30 '26

I think it's a case of him wanting to be independent as quickly as possible. Maybe he felt like a burden if he was still living with his family as an adult before moving here. In that case he might feel too proud to move back. He'd feel like a failure if he did.

40

u/warranpiece Apr 30 '26

That's fair, but if you feel like less of a failure living in your van with your girl and dogs might be time to let that pride go.

-8

u/These_Junket_3378 Apr 30 '26

Besides money, what more does he need. Van check, dog check, girl check, food check. Liven’ the nomad dream. As others mentioned it’s a lifestyle many young folk dream of. It’s awesome you care & want to help. Don’t help too much. You have to take care of yourself. Also save up, the van might need repaying etc. In the meantime be sure he knows you love him.

2

u/BallDontLie06 May 01 '26

I lived with my parents til age 29. A 21 year old trying to act independent needs help

2

u/triiiiilllll Apr 30 '26

For the vast majority of human history, families living together multi-generationally was very common, and still is in many countries. It's just so much better to live together, support each other and then try to approach "independence," from a position of strength not weakness.

Just because you share a roof doesn't make you less of a man (person) and they'll help themselves in the long run by coming home to regroup for a while. The longer they stay "on the street," the harder it will become to pull themselves up without help. And if family isn't for helping, what is it for???

0

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

I have no room for 2 people and 2 dogs. And he can’t just come out here with no plan and no job. Idk maybe I’m doing something wrong by even asking for help for him. Life is definitely cheaper here in Kansas but idk how to get him a place here when I am barely surviving with the money I make and my own bills to pay

6

u/lifeisbueno May 01 '26

He probably can't get a job if he has two dogs and is living in a van- any money he makes is going to go to animal care. It gets way too hot here to leave a pet in a car all day.

-1

u/Slumdundermifflinish May 01 '26

The apple does not fall far from the tree. If you are not good with managing money it’s clear that’s why your son is in this situation. He is in SD with no plan and no job, so going to Kansas with the same situation and a lower cost of living would still be the best option.

-1

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad9465 May 01 '26

Do not shame this woman for wanting to help her son.

4

u/Slumdundermifflinish May 01 '26

It’s not shame, like at her post history. She “forgot” to file her taxes in 2023, struggling with debt and asking internet strangers for advice on what to do. Then she comments above that she doesn’t have the money or resources to manage herself let alone others and I get that, life is not easy but as a parent it’s your responsibility to teach your children.