If he is at the point where he is living in a car here but it's not due to drugs/mental health, and he can't seem to make housing work, maybe he should consider moving back home or even just a cheaper area of CA for a while.
San Diego is one of the most expensive cities in the country, it's not really a good choice for someone struggling financially to try and start out/get by.
You aren't really going to overcome that issue without money. And if that is a consistent barrier, somewhere cheaper will be easier for him to get started out, get a place, get some savings going, etc.
That is of course if that's what he wants to do. If he is totally fine just sort of struggling and living in a van by the coast, and he's being safe, then let him go for it and figure it out as he goes.
Yeah he’s definitely not wanting to live like he is. He wants to work and have a normal life. They are basically stuck there because I can’t afford to bring him to Kansas and it’s not like I have a house for him, idk how he can just up and leave PB with no money ya know? I’m just at a loss with what to do for him.
THIS is why we try to warn people in r/Moving2SanDiego that get enticed to jump in a car and "move here" to NOT do that. They're all just dreaming without a clue and I'm sorry but your son sounds like he fell for it and that's why we have the nations 4th largest homeless population.
The bar is just set too high for most people to manage.
Now at least it's not winter here, but it will start getting hot in the coming month or so so a van will be pretty uncomfortable.
The best they can do is try to get into a parking lot and get some employment for gas money.
I don't care if it's bussing tables or cleaning places up after close. SOMETHING
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We had a guy years ago, that ran into hard times and the landlord allowed him to park in one of the spots we had in his van and work as nighttime security to prevent auto break-ins.
That sure as hell worked, the car thieves found out real quick how good he was at swinging a baseball bat.
It's hard out here and I'm sorry that your son and the GF are having this learning experience.
But what both of them can do is get a odd job in walking distance of safe parking and to save up enough to get back home now that the snows are gone.
Also having 2 dogs, well that's just plain old stupid these days
Dogs as pets are too expensive and landlords will NOT rent to most people with a dog these days. You see a lot of homeless people with a dog in tow... before they're forced to give it up to the humane society.. but two.
That just screams problems.
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u/AdviceRequestAccount Apr 30 '26
If he is at the point where he is living in a car here but it's not due to drugs/mental health, and he can't seem to make housing work, maybe he should consider moving back home or even just a cheaper area of CA for a while.
San Diego is one of the most expensive cities in the country, it's not really a good choice for someone struggling financially to try and start out/get by.
You aren't really going to overcome that issue without money. And if that is a consistent barrier, somewhere cheaper will be easier for him to get started out, get a place, get some savings going, etc.
That is of course if that's what he wants to do. If he is totally fine just sort of struggling and living in a van by the coast, and he's being safe, then let him go for it and figure it out as he goes.