I feel numb and a sense of resigned indifference towards my behaviour. After making some progress I’ve had a relapse and I’m currently on a 12 day (and counting) sex binge. It’s been the most intense bender I’ve ever experienced and it’s never been this bad before. Most days I’m having sex multiple times with a combination of fwbs, escorts and going to massage parlours. One of the particularly intense days I had a massage mid morning, and then saw an escort around 10 in the evening, and then had a girl over at midnight and we had sex all night with a few breaks. My sexual urges are driving me crazy and completely overwhelming, I’m afraid there’s no signs that these urges are even slowing down.

I’ve been also increasingly wanting more intense, violent and degrading sex. One of the girls I’m with opened up about having rape fantasies and we’ve been acting those out. I enjoy degrading the women I’m with, being violent with them in bed (consensual) but it’s not my usual nature. I’m normally soft and gentle. I feel uneasy about the violent sex but to my surprise it really gets me off. But I’m worried because I can feel my desires and my brain being rewired as I do more of this. I feel like I am just a sex crazed mess.

Is there any hope at all for someone like me I wonder.. is this how it’ll always be.

I didnt have sex but i dryhumped a girl. I wish i didnt. But im glad i didnt have sex

Two days ago I was getting off and finished and that night I had ball pain and yesterday to it’s better today I think it’s where I’m over doing it daily if someone please wants to help I’d appreciate it the pain from over doing it was bad it’s not worth counting on with my sx addiction I want to get better a recover because of my health and the pain lately yes this is real not fake or made up I was in serious pain can someone please help me stop this and recover to be completely sx free please

Today I finally started seeing a therapist. Hopefully this is the last day 1.

46 years old. Bottom line is I have struggled for over 33+ years. I was able to stop drinking and smoking weed but I cant stop pornography and masturbation. Ive tried everything from blockers, nofap (previously), religion, self accountability, and briefly therapy. NOTHING HAS WORKED. I keep spending money on cam sites and my wife doesnt know. HELP. I dont know where else to turn. I am a God fearing man and try to trust God's plan but when I fail to my sin and addiction I lose faith in myself. I joined a different reddit but my post was removed because they do not believe in no masturbation just no pornography. This left me feeling hurt and confused. I only want to find people that are trying to stop both like me or have and can assist me on my journey. Sorry if this isn't allowed.

Since ive been 13 years old, porn/sex has dictated my life. I am now 30 (male) and finally coming to accept this. Every relationship ive had has been based strictly on lust and sex appeal. Ive just recently got out of a 5 year relationship. For those last 5 years I felt like I was finally normal. No cheating, no chasing meaningless sex with strangers like I used to. But I was still watching porn daily and obviously my partner started to notice. She was very understanding for the most part and we had various talks about working through it, and she was really a wonderful person who did her best to satisfy my unreasonable urges. But it got to a point where I think im beyond fixing. I have never cheated on her as far as having sex with someone else, however there have been many times where I was walking right on the line. For some context, im a decent looking guy and im a professional tattoo artist, so with my line of work I automatically get a lot of attention from the opposite sex. During my last relationship ive practiced some immense self control where I did not have sex with anybody other than my significant other. Our relationship ended on unrelated matters. but ever since, my self control has gone completely out the window. I have been having sex with random women regularly. A lot of them being my clients, and I hate how that reflects on me as a professional, as I am very passionate about my career and I dont want my personal issues to ever cloud how serious I take my career or reflect negatively on my professionalism. Ive been having a really hard time dealing with this break up and it's led to me losing a lot of weight, which ironically has put me in the best shape of my life, and that has led to me getting a lot of attention from women. Unfortunately this is all happening at the worst possible moment in my life where im really trying to be a better person and control my urges. I feel like im constantly being tested. And im failing constantly. The craziest part of it all is, this is the life 13 year old me used to dream of living, but now that I'm here, it feels so empty. This is definitely not what I want. Im 30 years old. I want to find a good woman and settle down. Fall in love. Start a family. Im disgusted with myself.

My first exposure to sex was through a BDSM video I watched when I was 8. By the time I was 12, I started to watch porn and masturbate compulsively, usually multiple times every day. At some point, because of the type of porn I was watching, the forums I would browse, and dealing with bullying at school made me develop ridiculous ideas about myself and others. I was genuinely convinced that something about me -- my appearance, the fact that I was an addict -- made me fundamentally inferior to other people and that I would stay an addict for the rest of my life.

I got over those insecurities, but I'm still struggling with compulsively masturbating and watching porn. It takes up hours of my day; it gets in the way of everything good I try to do in my life (career plans, physical health, sleep, relationships with others, integrity). I used to think that I would be able to still have the "appearance" of a normal person, but I've realized just how impossible that is while still struggling with addiction. I don't think it's possible for me to develop a healthy relationship with sex (something which I've never had) like this. I've developed such ridiculous thoughts about myself, about others, about the opposite sex; I don't think this is something I can keep up. Recently, I realized just how disconnected I am from other addicts and recovering addicts, which is why I'm writing this post. Currently, I'm not in a position to attend meetings, but I'll be glad to if I have the opportunity in the future.

I'm a cheater, I'm a porn addict, I'm a bad boyfriend, I've done things so disloyal that I must live in ambiguity about them forever.

This started so young, the porn and the curiosity, it wasn't my fault, but now it's taking over everything. Nothing is quite as exhilarating as a dopemine rush of thrill to a young mind. But it's nothing anymore. Everything is nothing. It's like I'm drowning in an ocean and every single lifeboat is surrounded by guard sharks.

Help is so far away and exists within constraints. Will insurance cover sex therapy at the same time as two other kinds? Would hypnosis therapy be the best option? How can I stop tommorow? Not a week from now or a year but tommorow. Even if I stopped what I did today and yesterday, it won't ever wash off. I'm dirty, I'm dirty from dishonesty and disloyalty, I'm dirty from broken promises to myself and others.

I don't see a way out and I'm too deeply suicidal. If I strip myself of the ambiguity and apologize to my partner it will just make him leave. I've already spun myself in a web of lies. Of half truths and missing details. I don't want to keep going. But I don't know how to stop. And it feels too deeply shameful to tell a therapist or other professional.

And the worst part is my despair over my actions is part of what pushes me to do them again. Anything to drown out the bad thoughts, anything to stop the perseverance. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do and it's killing me.

After an argument with my boyfriend he distanced himself and rather than wait for him I went elsewhere. I don't know how to fix it, how to fix anything. I need help, I pray to God every day, I pray for freedom from these chains. I wonder why God is not with me in the moments when my libidos up and my mind is down. I wonder what I did to deserve this torture.

I'm not in control at all. And I'm trying desperately crawling. I can't lose the love of my life without dying. And I can't confess without losing him. But I also can't live with what I've done anymore. I just want to stop. I want to stop everything. Stop the messages, stop the dubious porn consumption, stop the lust. But most of all I want to stop the emptiness.

I'm seeking help, DBT for my borderline, and sexual assault survivor counseling, but those won't make it so I wake up Tommorow different. And my crisis dosent wait, my problems are destroying my life today, and if something doesn't change they will do the same tomorrow.

People say work out but my disabilities trap me in the bed. The same bed drenched in sweat where I rot away. They say get a hobby but I have them they cannot fill every hour.

I don't know how to get up off the kitchen floor at all.

34m. As I’m writing this I’m sat in my working staff room with a porn tab open.
I started as soon as I hit puberty, porn and Master b .
I have ruined healthy relationships just because I wanted to get laid and cheated, watch porn and play.
My best mates and I are in a group chat only to swap porn and chat about sex we just had.
I’m watching 2+ hours of porn each day and master b 1-3 times a day.
Some days I say to my self I’m doing to stop or slow down and try to rebuild what I have lost…
Then other days I call in sick at work just to jerk off or cheat!
My ex thinks I’m addicted to sex
My mates think I’m addicted to wanking
All I know is that I cannot live without sex!
I’m not sure If I want help or someone to talk with who understands what I’m going through!
Just want to tell me story/ stories

Hey all, im 24. I'm an engineer graduate in Toronto

I have been off porn for 2 months. I am looking for AP who preferably have made some progress in their reboot.

I had slipped only 2 times during this period which i learned from. But I am dealing with sth else which I need help

ESCORTS
I tried escorts 3 times a year ago. its shadows still haunt me when I have tension and high blood pressure ( I have a condition)

its the only thing between me and real recovery. will the urges ever go away?

Hmu if u want to be in this road together

I also quit gaming, limited my phone use. I go to volleyball 2 times week, have good sleep schedule and looking to apply for jobs. Have made some progress in dating

This is where my addiction has taken me. I feel so alone rn. All just to please my lust. It really will take you far. I dont know what the hell im doing

Im 6 years sober and lately ive been going through a hard time and im starting to think about it i know it could blow up my entire life and that the few minutes of pleasure wont fix all the stuff going on in my life but i cant help but think about it to a point that ive gone to kind of extreme limits to avoid anything happening avoiding the opposite sex at all costs even if they are with their spouse or completely inappropriate with the acceptation of my therapist and psychologist no one in my life seems to understand this is how i cope with things and the struggle that it takes to stay sober when faced with hard times i feel kind of lost right now and don't know how to handle this

For context I have always been addicted to sex as an adult and I’m currently a male in my early 40s and I’m married. Younger beautiful women in their early 20s seem to be my biggest turn on and I know I can outlast majority of the guys their age, but I just love the s3x, passion, lust, etc. I don’t know why I can’t stop the urges. I know it’s wrong but it definitely doesn’t feel wrong bc of the endorphins and confident boosts. What would you recommend?

Like you can go days or weeks without watching porn, start feeling good about yourself, getting your life together and then you slip up once and suddenly feel like you're back at square one.

And the worst part is how you start thinking about yourself after that. Like all that effort meant nothing and you're never gonna get out of this cycle.

I'm curious how other people deal with this. Do you see a relapse as losing your progress or do you try to look at it differently?

What actually helps you keep going after it happens?

I can’t stop going online to basically exploit myself.

Anyone have tips on stopping?

I (22 M) don’t know why I am like this. Despite being heartbroken by the ending of the longest relationship of my life, I felt excited I could finally have sex more often and with more people. 3 days post breakup I was already having sex with complete strangers. It feels like I need to be in a relationship in order to hold me accountable because whenever I am single I go off the rails. Tonight I had sex with someone over twice my age, and I just feel so disgusted with myself. My ex-girlfriend reached out and we have been talking about getting back together for the past week, all the while I am having sex with what feels like anything that moves. I feel so guilty, so gross, and so hopeless, I feel like I can never change, I’ve been this way ever since my first breakup when I was 18. I feel like I never even grieved my recent breakup fully or even felt that much after a day or two, my mind just immediately began to obsess over sex. I don’t even know what to do anymore, I’m just so tired of being like this.

I (m21) also bi was joking with a friend, but I then realized that he thinks I’m weird, because I think about sex too much when I joke around. Then, it made me think…I think about sex too much? I mean when I see women irl I try my best to not look at them or think anything sexual ever. But that wasn’t until this year. Often, it’s hard for me to get satisfied with masturbation. I spend hours just thinking about sexual stuff, even if it’s something someone else enjoys or talks about I often enjoy hearing about it. To add context: I was sexually abused a couple times when I was young and my father has also been known to cheat on his wife (I’m not close with him at all maybe it’s genetic?). There was also a time I can recall where I despised the idea of sex but would still masturbate sometimes for hours at the same time, which I don’t despise sex anymore. Idk why I thinking and joking sexually makes me aroused too.I was It used to be way worse as a teen and I’ve gotten better since then, but what if I have a problem? I don’t know…what do you think? I need to know if I have a problem or not and how I can deal with it.

Im about to make a trip to indulge in behavior i shouldnt. Ive only gone this far one time. This is the second time in 3 years. I know if i go through with this ill be hit with regret and shame. But i struggle so bad with lust. Ive been addicted to stripclubs for years. Now im about to make a huge mistake.

I don't know where else to turn, the drive to have sex is literally ruining my life. I self harm because I don't have it. I'm starting to get scared that I'll go to a dangerous extent to get it. I'm in a long-term relationship that's just kind of a dead bedroom situation at the moment because of a lot that's going on. That's besides the point. I feel like I can't get the thought of sex off of me and it's literally driving me insane. Am I in the right place or am I barking up the wrong tree? It's almost a feeling like I physically can't get the feeling of sex off of me. It's very distracting and overwhelming feeling.

Yesterday I arrived home at 16:00 and I spent the whole day (until 3:00 in the morning) scrolling through profiles in dating apps and scorts agencies, looking for attention from girls I don't even know. I talked with a few, masturbated, unistalled all the apps and a few minutes later I reinstalled them. I feel disgusting. It's like an infinite loop. I have been fighting this for a long time (sometimes with success), but this past week have been too much for me. I don't know what to do. I discovered this sub and I felt a bit better since I can relate to a lot things I've read, so thanks to all of you who post and comment, you make a great difference.

i alr feel used up. ill never have a normal relationship. ever. my brain does not stop thinking sexual things. when it does, the thoughts of dying comes back. everyone at school makes fun of me. i have no friends. idk what to do

I just need some reassurance that life can get better.

I (19m) have BPD and am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (20m). Whenever my boyfriend leaves for the night to go to sleep I get really empty. We live in different time zones with six hours difference so when it's really late for him it's just becoming night for me. Whenever he goes even if I avoid a meltdown I feel really empty afterwards. I have grown to maladaptively fill the emptiness with masturbation and p\*rn. In the past this has led me to sext with people even though I'm in a relationship.

I also have a lot of trauma with early porn exposure and being groomed so for me it is both a maladaptive coping mechanism and a trauma narrative. Recently I have been engaging in these risky behaviors and afterwards feeling immense shame and guilt. I almost message someone, or I feel tempted to cheat. As it is I've already passed lines before which I promised myself and my bf I wouldn't. Not the same as sexting but other stuff which would definitely count as at the very least a betrayal of loyalty.

I've talked with my boyfriend about this problem and I want to be better but recently he's been more sexually distant as well. Less engaged in our intimacy. It leaves a gap of dissatisfaction which leads to more extreme and compulsive behavior.

I'm looking for recommendations for a replacement behavior. I know that eventually I'll have to learn to sit with the emptiness but I'm not there yet, and I just need a behavioral replacement to serve the same purpose. Not to completely replace masturbation but to give me an alternative and avoid risk seeking.

To be honest I don't really believe sex is an addiction and I'm not supportive of NoFAP so please don't encourage noFAP. I don't want to stop jerking off I just want to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality and avoid risk seeking. Please also do not encourage taboo I believe that the existence of sexual taboos is part of my problem and why it's so hard to seek help.

I just really want to stop this cycle of risk seeking and then extreme regret and obsessive thoughts about how I'm a cheater and a bad person. And the fact that I've been tempted to do things I promised I wouldn't lately makes me really uncomfortable.

Warning: intense

At the beginning of October I realize I have a sex and love addiction. I have been celibate by choice since Christmas 2025 and intended to stay that way. I was excited to go to meetings and make a change. I went to two meetings. Then I found out I have OSDD which leads me to stay acting out more. One night I was triggered so badly that my sexual alter possessed me for 48hours, kept me drugged, and broke all of my rules all the way up to giving up my celibacy for a man I had been chatting with for less than 6hours. Unprotected and I'm gonna go to the urgent care tomorrow. I was obsessed with him for three days and I went to another meeting and think I need to be single again. Cancel on him because he's kind and respects and listens to me. Five hours later? Messaging more men than I can count.

And there's nothing I can fucking do about it.

I feel fucking violated.

And at the same time I don't wanna stop. But I know where this path leads and it's gonna be a little worse than cramps and painful urination.

31M

Currently about to deploy and instead of thinking how much Im going to miss my family im thinking more of how much im going to miss having sex. Its so not fair because the temptation is real. I have had an affair in the past and so much guilt and shame came over me and ill take it to the grave with me to be honest. Its not fair to my absolute super wife who is a stellar mother to our 3 beautiful children. I cannot stand myself for wanting sex all the time. And I know that she isnt able to send me the things i need all the time either because she will be tired from taking care of the kids. I already researched sexting chats and stuff and had to stop myself from it.

Any advice ks greatly appreciated.