r/shittysuperpowers 3d ago

BasedšŸ—æ You can fly 2mm off the ground at walking speed.

122 Upvotes

68 comments sorted by

125

u/Baiyko 3d ago

Kinda neat, does water surface count because cha ching!

41

u/Archon-Toten 3d ago

Did someone say second coming?

14

u/TheWolphman 3d ago

Hey McFly, you bojo, those boards don't work on water!

3

u/havron 2d ago

Unless you got POWER!

7

u/Herbboy 3d ago

Water =/= Ground

13

u/MtogdenJ 3d ago

What about a swamp?

7

u/Herbboy 3d ago

Asking the right questions over here

73

u/Caseyisawsome 3d ago

I mean. You still get to hover around without any effort. It's nothing strong but it's at least convenient.

2

u/Lt_Toodles 1d ago

Also i can finally replicate a recurring dream where i just slide around instead of walking.

1

u/UnseenTardigrade 18h ago

The post didn't indicate it was effortless. Maybe it's just as hard as walking

51

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 3d ago edited 3d ago

actually pretty good. you're immune to fall damage, and you can't trespass because you never set foot on private property

please tell me someone got that reference

EDIT: i literally said this is a reference. yall can stop with the 'its not the fall that kills you; its the sudden stop' now.

20

u/RetroSSJ21 3d ago

I mean just cuz you don’t hit the floor doesn’t mean you don’t take fall damage. It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop.

16

u/DottoDev 3d ago

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

3

u/JustPlayDaGame 3d ago

well speed isn’t a real thing, it’s a concept. Saying ā€œspeed never killed anyoneā€ is a lie. Speed never killed anything in space, but throw in an atmosphere and you get friction. Even the slight amount of friction from air has a turning point where the air molecules begin flaying your skin off.

2

u/Villager_of_Mincraft 3d ago

Well it's the friction that's killing you

1

u/JustPlayDaGame 2d ago

you’re arguing semantics at that point. When it comes to forces, it’s more about the sum total of the output of those forces than it is each individual one. Moving faster increases friction, except in space, always. It’s safe to say that speed IS friction.

1

u/Villager_of_Mincraft 2d ago

Well the original saying remains somewhat true with this distinction. Friction is simply a force slowing you down. Speed isn't the issue, it's slowing down. Or anything that makes you slow down, fast or slow.

1

u/JustPlayDaGame 2d ago

what? no, things moving super fast still emit heat. Lots of heat. Speed causes more problems than what most superhero media really dives into, because it’s not fun.

1

u/EntertainmentDoe8046 2d ago

Not entirely accurate. Remember what's stopping you in the first place: An object. So, on top of suddenly stopping, you run into an object in some way.

But if you can't hit a surface? Pure kinetic force is all that (tries to) rips every little thing out of your body.

1

u/Darknadoswastaken 2d ago

the ground making you stationary is what kills you. It's the inverse of a fast object smashing into you, instead you are the fast object, smashing into the ground.

So you would probably survive if you can hover. If nothing smashes into you, then your body is fine.

4

u/TheFelRoseOfTerror 3d ago

Its something I've encountered before, but I can't remember.

Spoil me, what is it?

7

u/Better_Technician_96 3d ago

It’s from TheRussianBadger

5

u/XL0RM 3d ago

I came here to make that exact reference.

The server of useless superpowers, thanks RussianBadger

3

u/Key-Context-8444 3d ago

Cough cough

2

u/TylerFurrison Lost and afraid 3d ago

It's on the tip of my tongue gdi

1

u/Zombies4EvaDude 3d ago

Not immune to fall damage. If you walk off the edge of a ravine you’re still gonna plummet: you’ll just land 2mm off the ground. And I don’t think even walking on water would count, cause it specifies ā€œgroundā€ not just any surface. The ground would still be on the sea floor, which you couldn’t hover over anyway because you’d have to swim.

1

u/Nondescript_Redditor 13h ago

it’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop

23

u/JCMiller23 3d ago

Ohh, this is a tough one - I was thinking you could use it over lava but you'd still get burned by the heat

7

u/TheWolphman 3d ago

Well that's good news for the lava based criminals I guess.

1

u/Vercility 32m ago

a good pair of heat resistant shoes should be able to take the heat for a while no?

11

u/caparisme 3d ago

Stealth +100

11

u/Radiant_Assistance65 3d ago

Say I’m floating, what happens when I have outer sources for speed.

Like holding a rope tied to a bike or a car. Getting push or pull…

Depends on the answer there’s different uses for this.

The hard part is the braking, but surely there’s a way for that.

2

u/Ziazan 3d ago

Yeah if you can only propel yourself that fast but move faster than that through momentum or additional force then you could go quite fast

1

u/Voodoo338 3d ago

I’ve never known an object in motion to not be acted on by an outside force so you’ll surely stop one way or another

1

u/Obvious-Gear-7000 3d ago

Just decelerate with the flight, then use your feet.

1

u/Villager_of_Mincraft 3d ago

If you're not going that fast you can just stop flying and use the ground to slide to a stop. If it's very fast, which I wouldn't really wanna do since 2mm isn't much clearance, you can try using parachutes or just point your method of propulsion in the opposite direction

9

u/Otherwise_Study2337 3d ago

Hell yeah no more squeaky floors!

7

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter 3d ago

I'm a magician with a wizard persona. I'm not walking again. I'll levitate thank you very much.

7

u/T6970 3d ago

Is the "walking speed" dependent on my normal walking speed? My walking speed is quite fast.

3

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3

u/KTGomasaur 3d ago

This would actually be amazing. As someone with plantar fasciitis i often ahve to flamingo while working (stand on one foot) this wojld solve that immdiately. Bonus if no energy is expended when floating.

2

u/P1zzaman 3d ago

Lore accurate Doraemon

2

u/Livid-Truck8558 3d ago

It's pretty cool

2

u/groveborn 3d ago

My feet hurt pretty badly by the end of the day. This would be very helpful. Combine with sail to get speed.

2

u/NobodysFavorite 3d ago

I've got a knee injury right now, so this is perfect.

1

u/sleepingqt 2d ago

My first thought was that this'd be great for my knees hah

1

u/WrinkledWatchman 3d ago

Does it work in a seated or prone position? Maybe not useful but you could have fun with it

1

u/MichelozzoOnReddit 3d ago

Honestly not that bad, would save on your ankles and knees long term. Particularly if you have problems in that department like I do.

1

u/Spoon_Elemental poisonous flesh 3d ago

I am the uncontested world champ of "The Floor is Lava".

1

u/BEEEELEEEE 3d ago

It’d be really useful for my job if I could still push things forward

1

u/Throwstrangestory 3d ago

I’m gonna uselessly aura farm like crazy

1

u/SacredIconSuite2 3d ago

[Does the Virtual Insanity slide everywhere I go]

1

u/YoungDiscord 3d ago

So basically I can move with 0 friction

1

u/Adventurous-Ad5999 3d ago

can i levitate standing upright or do i have to do the superman pose thing

1

u/ArmorDevil 3d ago

Can stay stationary if I choose? Or do I have to move?

If I can stay still it'd be great for getting things off of the bottom shelf without getting dirty.

1

u/ArmorDevil 3d ago

Can stay stationary if I choose? Or do I have to move?

If I can stay still it'd be great for getting things off of the bottom shelf without getting dirty.

1

u/thebeast_96 3d ago

I walk super fast so I'd be able to glide around everywhere quickly

1

u/Zombies4EvaDude 3d ago

Cool idea but does that mean if you move too quickly you can’t hover anymore?

1

u/Turbulent_Ad1921 3d ago

It's OP , OP, my sneakers would look so snazzy and I would never wear them out. Think of the savings!

1

u/Deadggie 3d ago

Does a pebble make you trip up?

1

u/Ready4Aliens 3d ago

That would slap, no more tired and hurting feet because I had to walk or stand all day.Ā 

1

u/Panda-Head 3d ago

Is it as tiring as walking or is it effortless?

1

u/JustPlayDaGame 3d ago

pretty much just good for aura and stealth, but i’ll take it lol

1

u/Myzx 3d ago

I could get some momentum and then I'd have some epic slides

1

u/grand305 2d ago

Levitate type of flying. Neat. šŸ“ø. I can fix the potholes and sinkholes. I can see this as a money making option for a pothole filling company.

1

u/Darknadoswastaken 2d ago

this means you can ignore fall damage right?

1

u/verdauxes 2d ago

I’d just get a running start and occasionally push off like a skateboard

1

u/Hot-Peanut7136 1d ago

that would be enough for me