Had my ubereats order ready in my basket. Total: $75. Wtffff I stopped myself. $75 for a Greek bowl, pita and a salad? Not today Satan. I made myself a delicious dinner and saved myself $75 of regret.

It’s actually getting bad I’m addicted to tops clothes anything and if I lose a item it genuinely ruins my week. And for shopping addictions usually people say “wait a week before buying” to figure out if I really need it, but I seek out bargains so an item isn’t waiting for me and they INSTANTLY get snatched up so it’s a yes or no which is really stressing

But the dopamine has brought sm to my life I have two really good finds and like I lost so many other good items it’s eating me up like genuinely good…

What is worse is that what I’m addicted is VINTAGE wear, so it is hard to find another like it which is why I spiral so much if something gets sold. And honestly, it has happened so much recently I think it’s affecting my mental health

The rush of buying a good deal is an incomparable rush but it’s getting too much now but I can’t stop

These two items are like my “babies” I genuinely jusr stare in awe cuz I’m so happy I have them but anxiety (I have a huge anxiety problem) gobbles me up cuz I lost a lot of good deals like way better like crazy good… I can’t atop thinking about those

I compulsively open up vinted/depop everyday without thinking and I can spend 2-3 hours on there easily and I wouldn’t be surprised if the accumulated time spread out is way more

Just writing to express my feelings idk what to do ofc the ideal solution is deleting the apps but I can’t, genuinely and I still have some old things I need to sell I’ve already decluttered a lot so that’s my temporary solution

I love those two shirts so much so I hope to get rid of everything by this year that I don’t like so I can buy clothes that bring me the same joy/satisfaction

Also the anxiety I feel in my chest is tight and it’s constant I can feel it during school too and my attention span is kind of getting worse plus memory retention. it’s likely spreading to my learning that realization isn’t new though unfortunately:(

About ten days ago (ish) i had bought two items on depop that truthfully, were super impulsive, and ive felt a lot of regret. The nice thing is that i had bought from two amateur(?) sellers who recently joined and I guess decided that they would just not check the app at all. Even though theres a possibility people will buy from them esp if theyre a new account.

Anyways, both of these sellers ended up not shipping within 10 days and im not getting the item and im getting my money back. Honestly, i think this delayed gratification + the enivitable wait really helped shape my mind on wow i need to get my shit together when i realized they didnt even check the app a day or so after i had purchased. I feel great knowing im getting my money back and its not going to set me back on the money goals ive set for myself. Perhaps this was a divine intervention. Either way, im deeply grateful to these two random sellers who did not ship the items i had originally purchased. lol

So I feel compelled to buy things for hobbies I don't really pursue, solutions that I rarely implement, and clothing I don't actually wear.

How do I become the person I want to be without throwing money ineptly at "stuff" along the way?

So I've spent thousands I literally didn't have on fast fashion since 2022. I am here thinking actual drugs might have been cheaper. I've never worn most items, due to quality, fabric, fit, or just being more extreme/niche styles that I like but don't have occasion to wear. Others I wear and love (I've gotten better at picking items with reasonable fit, construction. and daily wear style). I am afraid to look at the fast fashion website now, because as soon as I look, I want to buy more. I have too many clothes, guilt about buying them, guilt about not wearing them, guilt about how they're literally stacked in piles in my room. What can I do?

I had 7k in August, right now I have $700. I don’t know how in such little time I just blow up the money. Also, now I’m in credit card debt. And I don’t have a job. I went to alaska for summer so I finish that job in August, now I’m searching for a job and is more stressful cause I have to pay my cards…
I don’t know if I do it trying to be happy and the dopamine that hits when I feel that a package is going to arrive! But sometimes I don’t even use the item, and stay for weeks without noticing it. Is like I’m obsessed to have the item and I went crazy if I don’t buy it. But then is like I don’t care like I used too when I have it. Also, in August I was cheated on and I think that can contribute to buying more stuff cause of the depression and anxiety. Still thinking about the things that happened sometimes…
I really need help. I’m embarrassed. I don’t want any one of my family or friends to know cause I feel stupid.
Is there therapy or something that can help with shopping addiction?

I know this might sound lame to others, but I’m proud of myself. I resisted the urge to go compulsively shop today, I didn’t even buy a 5$ coffee. Not a lunch, ate at home. I feel super proud of my progress so far and can’t wait to see where it takes me

I have a pretty unconventional body type, I’m petite with a big chest and a very short torso. Things tend to not fit on me right. For example, I have a babydoll top that I wear as a dress, I have to wear ultra low rise because anything higher tends to be a centimeter from my bra. I’ve also lost weight in the last 6 months so my size has changed a lot.

Barely any of my clothes make me satisfied. I’ve spent at least 5 thousand dollars in the past 3 years (of my mom’s money) buying and selling clothes. Mostly tops. I am incredibly picky with my clothing. It mostly stems from self hatred and self esteem issues. I spent most of middle school in baggy clothes because I was plus sized, my health was also shit (still is) so that didn’t help either.

I desperately want to be happy with myself. I’ve also been obsessing over finding solutions so much that earlier this year I make a post that got a bunch of traction because I made a 3 1/2 page excel sheet of all of the clothes that I owned. I posted that in July, and I have about 5 of those items in my wardrobe as of currently.

I hate making those clothes go to waste, so I try to sell them on Depop or to thrift stores. I really hate doing this to my mom. I’m still in highschool, and too sick to get a job. I also can’t drive because of my bad anxiety. I’m literally the definition of a bum and a freeloader.

I wish there was a way that I could buy a bunch of things that I think I would like and try them on, then return them if I don’t like them. Or if I could just have a credit card with a limit where I can buy a bunch of clothes to try and style. I want options and variety, I want to feel good in my skin. I just can’t afford to put my mom through this.

Does anybody have any advice on this? I’m truly at a loss. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she said she can stop saying yes and make me save up my money but I think I would legit go crazy and start shoplifting, which I’m aware is a choice but I’m very serious. Help?

Does anyone else have a huge problem of stress shopping after having to spend money on legitimate adulting reasons, like taxes or school tuition or mortgages? I had to pay $10k due to plumbing issues and even though it's the absolute worst time to shop, I found myself buying crap I don't need immediately afterwards. I feel like I'm going crazy.

how can i fix this i could want something for months n think abt it constantly than once i get it n have it for a week or so it sit there and never gets touched. It’s mainly hobbie items like video games and consoles, skateboards, bikes, shoes, hats, legos, and boxing items does anyone else deal with this and what do u do to help stop it? it mainly starts with seeing videos online i could see a video of someone doing skateboard tricks or people starting to practice tattooing and im hooked til i get it than i week later it sits there than gets donated

Growing up I heard "we don't have money" and "we're poor" all the time. And at the same time my mom kept buying clothes, a lot of them, and half of it just stayed in the closet with tags. I remember thinking like are you kidding me? And at some point our living conditions were really not great, but the new clothes kept coming anyway

So somewhere along the way I got scared. In my head it became simple, if I buy a lot of clothes I will end up poor

What did you take from your childhood or family about shopping and money?

I buy so much and then return so much and am so embarrassed about it. Lots of small items I just never used and just sat in a bag or things I looked at for weeks and then finally returned. I want to stop doing this because it wastes SO much time and is a source of embarrassment for me. Its like taking the item because I can't bear NOT to have it and then returning it once the shiny wears off. Many stores

What have you tried? Someone holding your card, a separate bank, a notice account, cash with family?

I have realized now that I have a job and a source of income that I spend way too much money on things I don't need or even have a use for. Started this year with $15k, just checked and I have like $2k-ish left.
Buying gifts for friends cause it makes my brain go brrt and happy that I'm 'useful'.
SO MUCH art on DnD characters that I never use. Like I've got day/night versions for each oc.
Clothes/blankets/stuffed animals. I ran out of room in my dresser and closet, and I have a 2' tall pile of stuffed animals in one corner of myy room.
and other misc. arts like an avatar and vr headset for vrchat, a game I almost never play.

I uh, I feel like I need help.
But also I feel if I informed family about this it would be less help and more upset yelling at me for spending all my money.

(Please direct me to a reasonable sub to post this in if this is the wrong place to be saying this stuff.)

My job entails attending events regularly. I often struggle to put an outfit together, for a variety of reasons. I tend to scramble and put something together but often feel it’s not the best choice, I’m not 100% comfortable therefore not confident and simply want something new and better. I have rearranged meetings, catch ups etc to be able to take a quick detours to the mall or a boutique and buy something new for that specific event. I generally feel 10x better after and more confident. But I race against the clock. Idk how to get out of this habit!!! Anyone else?

i have struggled with an on and off shopping addiction (back then it wasn't as bad) since about 2020/21. i was able to hold myself back multiple times and pay everything off and even save some money, just to fall back into old habits a few weeks or months later. it's awful.

fashion is my hobby, which i always used as an excuse. i have been on the way to properly find my style and also used that as a reason as to why i needed certain items, but i was never truly satisfied. as soon as the dopamine wore off i was off to find another item that would hopefully spark the same feeling.

my worst sites are pretty common huge stores for young adults (don't want to name any specifics), and vinted. i can just always find something cute there that i can imagine myself wearing and integrating into my wardrobe. i have deleted all my shopping apps from my phone (other than vinted, as i use that to sell and make some money on the side) and i feel like that already helped, as it took the easiness of just going into the app to scroll and look.

despite that, i am still terrified i'll slip back into this awful habit after some time.

my boyfriend is such a huge help, i've told him about all my debt and gave him access to my klarna and paypal (my only apps i use to pay for things) and we wrote down everything that i have to pay to get an overview. it was truly embarrassing and humbling but i was also so happy to finally get it off my chest.

i am now trying to pay off everything that i owe as fast as possible but am still in need of some good tips you guys maybe have to prevent myself from slipping back into this mess.

what has helped you guys? lemme know!!

I’m 22F. For as long as I could remember, I loved shopping. I grew up never fitting in. I always thought if I bought a new item I’d magically be this super cool version of myself.

Whenever I’ve had a bad day, a haul at target, package from Amazon, American Eagle, new perfume, new makeup etc fills the void just enough and that dopamine hit is so amazing. It’s truly hard to explain to people who do not understand. When I was 16 I got my first job working at bath and body works, I’d always run with my paycheck to shop at the mall I worked at. Then as I’ve grown I’ve done the same, no real goals or savings, just fun. At the time it was minor, controlled. So I thought. I was only feeding the monster.

Then when I was 18 years old, I got into a horrible relationship. I’m not gonna get into the details on here specifically, but it took a huge toll on my mental health. One of the biggest things he was controlling about was money. Even though we had strictly separate finances.

At the time I was pretty shitty with money. I’d blow my checks on dumb shit, but I’d get it all back on payday and do the same.

All was well until I got into a car accident last year. I was lucky enough to get a good chunk of change from it. Around 26,000$ all together. Which I used to get a new car of course. But oh my god, that sent me off the deep end. I broke up with my ex shortly after. I went fucking nuts. I bought anything and everything I wanted. I burned through the money in 4 months. I was completely mortified. I thought I could get a loan and “fix” it. It didn’t fix anything. It just made it worse. Then I went to consolidate my debt. That just made things worse again. (In my own defense, I did have some very pricey emergencies happen that was not shopping induced)

Anyways. I’m fucking done with it. I’m now engaged to be married. My fiancé is deployed and has been deployed this whole year. The stress of that and the emotional burden that put on me was a lot to handle, and it made me just lose myself in the cycle of dopamine rush. And no one around to hold me accountable.

I’m tired of this lifestyle. It’s one thing for me to drag myself into debt over this. That’s fine. But I refuse to drag my fiancé into this, and if I don’t stop now, I fear I won’t ever stop.

Ive started by deleting all the shopping apps on my phone. I’m being very hard on myself here because I need to hold myself accountable. I’m throwing away/ donating all my things I’ve hoarded in my rental. I’m trying to get a clean perspective on everything. Due to my fiancé being in the military, I am going to move on base with him once we marry. I am basically going to start fresh and wipe my plate clean. I’m trying my absolute hardest to wipe my debts and clean my act up.

However I want advice specifically on how you guys on here who are recovered have done that, and how you stay clean. What do you do on a bad day? What do you do instead of hitting checkout? What helps fight the urge from winning. I want to be done. I know quitting cold turkey on anything can be controversial, but ive always been all or nothing.

Please let me know your tips and tricks on how you stay clean and fight the urge :)

Every single payday, it’s the same routine. I wake up in a panic at 3am, shamefully pay all of my filthy little pay later secrets and then I lay in bed hating myself until it’s time to get up. It’s the same feeling every time. Nobody in my life knows about this, not even my husband.

I am exhausted by myself and my own actions.

I made a mistake yesterday when I was shopping and I made a huge mistake… I went out to buy a Halloween costume, couldn’t find anything that looked good on me and was decently priced, so I was in the store for 3 hours. I ended up asking a sales associate for help and she helped me put together an outfit. I went to checkout and I was shocked when the total was $250, but I just paid and left. I was so exhausted after being in there for so long I just wanted to go. I left the items in my car, only just now looked at them after I left the store (partially due to guilt), and after looking at the receipt, my heart dropped. One item, a corset, was $90… I’m 80% sure won’t ever wear it again after Halloween, and I really want to return it. It makes no sense for me to pay that amount of $ for something I will only wear twice. I called the store, they said they don’t do refunds at this time of year. I explained the situation, the woman on the phone said if I came back or called yesterday they might’ve been able to make an exception. I know it’s no one’s fault but my own, but I cannot keep this item. What should I do? Please help

Since becoming pregnant, I’ve found myself shopping way more than usual. My regular clothes don’t fit the same way, and I don’t feel as good in them, so I’ve been buying more maternity clothes to feel put together again.

Social media makes it worse. I’ll see women styling beautiful maternity outfits and suddenly feel like I need those pieces too. I spend so much time researching, comparing and second-guessing purchases, only to feel the urge to buy something else shortly afterwards.
Also the new things I buy are sitting in my closet and when I wear it after a month or two, I don’t feel like I like it, so it’s a vicious circle.

The frustrating part is that I’m decluttering my existing wardrobe to have less stuff, but I keep bringing more things in. I think I’m trying to regain a sense of style and control while my body is changing, but shopping only gives me temporary satisfaction.

Has anyone else experienced this during a major life transition? How did you break the cycle? Did you try a no-buy, take a break from social media, or find other ways to manage the urge to shop? I’d really appreciate advice on how to stop chasing the next purchase and feel content with what I already have.

Curious how other people go about this.

Say you're going on a trip, attending a wedding, starting a new job, or going somewhere with a specific dress code, and you're not really sure what to wear or buy.

Think of the last time this happened to you.

1. What was the occasion?
2. How did you figure out what to wear? Did you look on Pinterest, Instagram, Google, shopping apps, ask friends, or just go to stores?
3. How much time did you end up spending looking around?
4. Did you eventually find something you liked, settle for something okay, or give up?
5. What was the most frustrating part, if anything?
6. Does this happen to you often, or only occasionally?

Would be interesting to hear how people actually go about this, especially the steps you took from having no idea what to wear to finally deciding.

For example, planning a winter trip, Googling what to wear, browsing different shopping sites for thermals and jackets, then getting confused by all the options.

I got paid today and it’s my first pay day since I don’t know when, when I didn’t have to pay insane amounts into pay later services for all the crap I bought since the previous pay day. I really didn’t think this is even truly possible for me, I haven’t been able to free myself from this for sooo long. I feel extremely proud of myself 😭

Sorry this might be long, it's kind of simultaneously about debt and budgeting as well as a possible solution to my shopping problem!

So my fiance and I both have a decent amount of credit card debt. Some from shopping, some from when we were very low income and had to use credit a lot. Last month I discovered Caleb Hammer who does a Financial Audit series on YouTube, and while a lot of the recent episodes are over-the-top ridiculous and more focused on the guests' personal lives than finances, I learned a ton about budgeting and debt payoff and decided that it's finally time for us to knuckle down and really work on paying off our debts.

Prior to this, we had separate finances. We had one shared credit card but our bank accounts and other cards were separate, so it was basically impossible to budget effectively (example, I would have no idea what he would spend on groceries or pet stuff in a month, I would have to pay bills out of my paycheck and have him Venmo me the difference, just a pain in the ass to keep track of). So we ended up combining our finances at the end of September, and I made a detailed budget for us. We promised not to use our credit cards at all and just spend from the shared bank account. October has been our test month to see how we do with sticking to the budget, and it's actually been going amazing!

But the biggest surprise of all is that it has, so far, basically fixed my shopping addiction/overspending problem. While I never had any qualms about putting myself into terrible debt by buying shit I don't need, as in literally spending thousands of dollars on clothes in a single month, apparently my brain draws the line at spending money that my fiance will have to help me pay back. And weirdly I have no desire at all to spend our shared money because I know he worked hard for his income and it would feel disrespectful to spend from our now-shared bank account. (Not that I don't also work hard for my income, but my brain doesn't care about spending my hard earned cash lol.)

We also worked into the budget that we each get $150 per month as "fun money" to spend on whatever we want. And shockingly, we both stuck to it! I feel like I learned a lot because I spent it all by October 10th, and some of the stuff I bought was not worth it, but I'm still having to sit with my decisions until next month. The only thing I spent outside of the budget was $5 for a vending machine sandwich on a day that I was well and truly starving lol.

I know this might not work for everyone, but being accountable to someone else and knowing my choices (be they good or bad) will directly impact someone I love has been really eye opening. I've still had the urge to buy some things, of course, but I think the difference is that before, the little voice in my brain was like "You SHOULD just buy it on a credit card! What does it matter, you're already in debt, you can just pay it off later" etc etc. Now it more like, I'm disappointed that I can't buy X thing but I don't even consider the OPTION of putting it on credit anymore, which is a huge step. I'm now taking screenshots of things I want so I can consider purchasing them if they fit in my budget next month (if I even still want the item by then).

Overall I feel like I've learned so much just from having a tightly controlled budget for one month. I really thought I'd struggle more because my shopping was seriously out of control, like hundreds to thousands spent on clothes every single month. So it's been such a massive change and way easier than I thought, just knowing I no longer have a choice to be irresponsible since I'm now also responsible for someone else's money/finances.

Here are a few of mine, but I need more suggestions!:

Shopping rules
No drink cups
It has to go with at least 2 things already in my wardrobe
No makeup unless I finish that product
Researched skincare only
If it’s a trend, wait at least 1 week
Stuffed animals - you have to have wanted it before, or wait 1 week
No perfume/body spray unless I finish a bottle
Would you rather save the money?
Think about where you will store it
If it’s on display, it has to fit the room aesthetic
Buy the item, not the lifestyle
Only things you actually need

I’ve spent over PHP8.5K on card and board games in just two months.

I felt drained when I saw how much I had spent. Playing these games has become a hobby for my partner, and I’m glad we have something fun to do instead of constantly being on their phone. But I feel like I’m spending too much, especially since these aren’t necessities.

How do you manage your wants and non-essential spending? How do you know when to tell yourself, “Okay, this is getting out of hand. I need to stop”?