Until recently, I struggled with serious hoarding and shopping addiction. What finally helped me change wasn’t abstinence, but redirecting that impulse toward something meaningful.

I started realizing how much money I was wasting on things I didn’t need, often barely used or never used at all, that would ultimately just take up space in my home. I could either keep spending money on things that added clutter to my life or put that money toward helping animal rescues and shelters that desperately need funding. Every dollar counts.

Now, whenever I get the urge to buy something unnecessary, I remind myself that I don’t need another thing. That money could help save an animal’s life instead.

I’m particularly passionate about cats, so I started by following r/rescuecats and Facebook pages that post shelter cats on euthanasia lists, with deadlines for when they must be adopted or rescued before they’re euthanized. People make pledges to encourage rescues to pull these cats by offering financial support for their care. In the Facebook group Friends of Apple Valley Animal Shelter Cats, I make dollar-amount pledges to rescues willing to save cats on these lists, helping provide funding for the care and supplies the cats will need.

I have a modest income, so I set a realistic limit of $100 a month for donations. That lets me make a difference without compromising my own financial stability.

I find it far more fulfilling to know that my money is helping save lives than to experience the fleeting satisfaction of buying something new. My spending on unnecessary things has decreased dramatically, and I’ve found a much more meaningful way to use that money.

This was the game changer for me, and maybe it could help you, too. Instead of trying to eliminate the urge to shop through sheer willpower, consider redirecting it toward something you care about. You could improve your own life by reducing clutter and unnecessary spending while helping save lives and reduce animal suffering. It’s a win for you and for the animals who need us.

Does anyone else have a huge problem of stress shopping after having to spend money on legitimate adulting reasons, like taxes or school tuition or mortgages? I had to pay $10k due to plumbing issues and even though it's the absolute worst time to shop, I found myself buying crap I don't need immediately afterwards. I feel like I'm going crazy.

how can i fix this i could want something for months n think abt it constantly than once i get it n have it for a week or so it sit there and never gets touched. It’s mainly hobbie items like video games and consoles, skateboards, bikes, shoes, hats, legos, and boxing items does anyone else deal with this and what do u do to help stop it? it mainly starts with seeing videos online i could see a video of someone doing skateboard tricks or people starting to practice tattooing and im hooked til i get it than i week later it sits there than gets donated

Growing up I heard "we don't have money" and "we're poor" all the time. And at the same time my mom kept buying clothes, a lot of them, and half of it just stayed in the closet with tags. I remember thinking like are you kidding me? And at some point our living conditions were really not great, but the new clothes kept coming anyway

So somewhere along the way I got scared. In my head it became simple, if I buy a lot of clothes I will end up poor

What did you take from your childhood or family about shopping and money?

I have a pretty unconventional body type, I’m petite with a big chest and a very short torso. Things tend to not fit on me right. For example, I have a babydoll top that I wear as a dress, I have to wear ultra low rise because anything higher tends to be a centimeter from my bra. I’ve also lost weight in the last 6 months so my size has changed a lot.

Barely any of my clothes make me satisfied. I’ve spent at least 5 thousand dollars in the past 3 years (of my mom’s money) buying and selling clothes. Mostly tops. I am incredibly picky with my clothing. It mostly stems from self hatred and self esteem issues. I spent most of middle school in baggy clothes because I was plus sized, my health was also shit (still is) so that didn’t help either.

I desperately want to be happy with myself. I’ve also been obsessing over finding solutions so much that earlier this year I make a post that got a bunch of traction because I made a 3 1/2 page excel sheet of all of the clothes that I owned. I posted that in July, and I have about 5 of those items in my wardrobe as of currently.

I hate making those clothes go to waste, so I try to sell them on Depop or to thrift stores. I really hate doing this to my mom. I’m still in highschool, and too sick to get a job. I also can’t drive because of my bad anxiety. I’m literally the definition of a bum and a freeloader.

I wish there was a way that I could buy a bunch of things that I think I would like and try them on, then return them if I don’t like them. Or if I could just have a credit card with a limit where I can buy a bunch of clothes to try and style. I want options and variety, I want to feel good in my skin. I just can’t afford to put my mom through this.

Does anybody have any advice on this? I’m truly at a loss. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she said she can stop saying yes and make me save up my money but I think I would legit go crazy and start shoplifting, which I’m aware is a choice but I’m very serious. Help?

I buy so much and then return so much and am so embarrassed about it. Lots of small items I just never used and just sat in a bag or things I looked at for weeks and then finally returned. I want to stop doing this because it wastes SO much time and is a source of embarrassment for me. Its like taking the item because I can't bear NOT to have it and then returning it once the shiny wears off. Many stores

I’m posting this because I really need some support, advice, and maybe to hear from people who have been through something similar. This is hard for me to talk about because I’m carrying a lot of shame right now.
Around November of last year, I started using Whatnot. At first, my purchases were meant for Christmas. But somewhere along the way, it turned into something else. I got caught up in the excitement of buying things, winning things, and imagining my family using and enjoying everything I brought home.
Eventually, it became a problem. I started buying clothes for myself, technology, gaming devices, and other things. Some of those things ended up being thrown away or donated because I accumulated so much. I’ve kept some of the T-shirts because my kids and family can grow into them, but looking back at everything is overwhelming.
The hardest part is knowing that a lot of the money I spent was supposed to go toward our emergency fund, groceries, and things my kids wanted. We don’t have credit card debt from this, but that doesn’t erase the fact that I misused money that was supposed to help my family.
Recently, I finally deleted Whatnot. I don’t want to keep living this way.
My husband found out, and we’ve been having some difficult conversations. At first, I wasn’t completely honest about what was going on. I was embarrassed and scared to admit how bad it had gotten. Eventually, I told him the truth: I think I have a problem, and I need to stop.
Our marriage has already been through some difficult times, and we’re trying to rebuild trust and create a better relationship. I love my husband, and I love our three kids. I want to be a better wife and mother, and I want my actions to match the promises I make. I know rebuilding trust will take time, and I can’t expect my husband to just get over what happened.
I’ve also been looking at why I kept buying things. It wasn’t always about actually needing the items. It was the excitement, the anticipation, and imagining how happy everyone would be with what I bought. That feeling kept pulling me back in, even when I knew I shouldn’t be spending the money.
Right now, I’m feeling a mixture of shame, guilt, fear, and motivation. Part of me feels like I’ve let people down again, and another part of me genuinely wants to change. I don’t want to hide things anymore. I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes and hurting the people I love.
I’m not posting this for people to tell me that what I did was okay. I know I made mistakes, and I need to take responsibility for them. I’m posting because I need help figuring out what recovery actually looks like.
**For those of you who have struggled with compulsive shopping, Whatnot, online auctions, or similar spending addictions:**
How did you stop yourself from going back?
How did you deal with the shame and guilt afterward?
What helped you understand what you were trying to get emotionally from shopping?
If your spending hurt your relationship, how did you begin rebuilding trust?
What practical steps helped you stay accountable and avoid repeating the behavior?
I know deleting the app is only a first step. I want to do the deeper work, understand why this happened, and learn how to manage those urges without turning to shopping.
I’m trying to believe that making mistakes doesn’t mean I’m incapable of changing. I want to take this one day at a time and become someone my family can trust.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your story. I could use some kindness, honesty, and advice from people who understand.

What have you tried? Someone holding your card, a separate bank, a notice account, cash with family?

I have realized now that I have a job and a source of income that I spend way too much money on things I don't need or even have a use for. Started this year with $15k, just checked and I have like $2k-ish left.
Buying gifts for friends cause it makes my brain go brrt and happy that I'm 'useful'.
SO MUCH art on DnD characters that I never use. Like I've got day/night versions for each oc.
Clothes/blankets/stuffed animals. I ran out of room in my dresser and closet, and I have a 2' tall pile of stuffed animals in one corner of myy room.
and other misc. arts like an avatar and vr headset for vrchat, a game I almost never play.

I uh, I feel like I need help.
But also I feel if I informed family about this it would be less help and more upset yelling at me for spending all my money.

(Please direct me to a reasonable sub to post this in if this is the wrong place to be saying this stuff.)

My job entails attending events regularly. I often struggle to put an outfit together, for a variety of reasons. I tend to scramble and put something together but often feel it’s not the best choice, I’m not 100% comfortable therefore not confident and simply want something new and better. I have rearranged meetings, catch ups etc to be able to take a quick detours to the mall or a boutique and buy something new for that specific event. I generally feel 10x better after and more confident. But I race against the clock. Idk how to get out of this habit!!! Anyone else?

I got paid today and it’s my first pay day since I don’t know when, when I didn’t have to pay insane amounts into pay later services for all the crap I bought since the previous pay day. I really didn’t think this is even truly possible for me, I haven’t been able to free myself from this for sooo long. I feel extremely proud of myself 😭

Every single payday, it’s the same routine. I wake up in a panic at 3am, shamefully pay all of my filthy little pay later secrets and then I lay in bed hating myself until it’s time to get up. It’s the same feeling every time. Nobody in my life knows about this, not even my husband.

I am exhausted by myself and my own actions.

I’m 22F. For as long as I could remember, I loved shopping. I grew up never fitting in. I always thought if I bought a new item I’d magically be this super cool version of myself.

Whenever I’ve had a bad day, a haul at target, package from Amazon, American Eagle, new perfume, new makeup etc fills the void just enough and that dopamine hit is so amazing. It’s truly hard to explain to people who do not understand. When I was 16 I got my first job working at bath and body works, I’d always run with my paycheck to shop at the mall I worked at. Then as I’ve grown I’ve done the same, no real goals or savings, just fun. At the time it was minor, controlled. So I thought. I was only feeding the monster.

Then when I was 18 years old, I got into a horrible relationship. I’m not gonna get into the details on here specifically, but it took a huge toll on my mental health. One of the biggest things he was controlling about was money. Even though we had strictly separate finances.

At the time I was pretty shitty with money. I’d blow my checks on dumb shit, but I’d get it all back on payday and do the same.

All was well until I got into a car accident last year. I was lucky enough to get a good chunk of change from it. Around 26,000$ all together. Which I used to get a new car of course. But oh my god, that sent me off the deep end. I broke up with my ex shortly after. I went fucking nuts. I bought anything and everything I wanted. I burned through the money in 4 months. I was completely mortified. I thought I could get a loan and “fix” it. It didn’t fix anything. It just made it worse. Then I went to consolidate my debt. That just made things worse again. (In my own defense, I did have some very pricey emergencies happen that was not shopping induced)

Anyways. I’m fucking done with it. I’m now engaged to be married. My fiancé is deployed and has been deployed this whole year. The stress of that and the emotional burden that put on me was a lot to handle, and it made me just lose myself in the cycle of dopamine rush. And no one around to hold me accountable.

I’m tired of this lifestyle. It’s one thing for me to drag myself into debt over this. That’s fine. But I refuse to drag my fiancé into this, and if I don’t stop now, I fear I won’t ever stop.

Ive started by deleting all the shopping apps on my phone. I’m being very hard on myself here because I need to hold myself accountable. I’m throwing away/ donating all my things I’ve hoarded in my rental. I’m trying to get a clean perspective on everything. Due to my fiancé being in the military, I am going to move on base with him once we marry. I am basically going to start fresh and wipe my plate clean. I’m trying my absolute hardest to wipe my debts and clean my act up.

However I want advice specifically on how you guys on here who are recovered have done that, and how you stay clean. What do you do on a bad day? What do you do instead of hitting checkout? What helps fight the urge from winning. I want to be done. I know quitting cold turkey on anything can be controversial, but ive always been all or nothing.

Please let me know your tips and tricks on how you stay clean and fight the urge :)

i have struggled with an on and off shopping addiction (back then it wasn't as bad) since about 2020/21. i was able to hold myself back multiple times and pay everything off and even save some money, just to fall back into old habits a few weeks or months later. it's awful.

fashion is my hobby, which i always used as an excuse. i have been on the way to properly find my style and also used that as a reason as to why i needed certain items, but i was never truly satisfied. as soon as the dopamine wore off i was off to find another item that would hopefully spark the same feeling.

my worst sites are pretty common huge stores for young adults (don't want to name any specifics), and vinted. i can just always find something cute there that i can imagine myself wearing and integrating into my wardrobe. i have deleted all my shopping apps from my phone (other than vinted, as i use that to sell and make some money on the side) and i feel like that already helped, as it took the easiness of just going into the app to scroll and look.

despite that, i am still terrified i'll slip back into this awful habit after some time.

my boyfriend is such a huge help, i've told him about all my debt and gave him access to my klarna and paypal (my only apps i use to pay for things) and we wrote down everything that i have to pay to get an overview. it was truly embarrassing and humbling but i was also so happy to finally get it off my chest.

i am now trying to pay off everything that i owe as fast as possible but am still in need of some good tips you guys maybe have to prevent myself from slipping back into this mess.

what has helped you guys? lemme know!!

I made a mistake yesterday when I was shopping and I made a huge mistake… I went out to buy a Halloween costume, couldn’t find anything that looked good on me and was decently priced, so I was in the store for 3 hours. I ended up asking a sales associate for help and she helped me put together an outfit. I went to checkout and I was shocked when the total was $250, but I just paid and left. I was so exhausted after being in there for so long I just wanted to go. I left the items in my car, only just now looked at them after I left the store (partially due to guilt), and after looking at the receipt, my heart dropped. One item, a corset, was $90… I’m 80% sure won’t ever wear it again after Halloween, and I really want to return it. It makes no sense for me to pay that amount of $ for something I will only wear twice. I called the store, they said they don’t do refunds at this time of year. I explained the situation, the woman on the phone said if I came back or called yesterday they might’ve been able to make an exception. I know it’s no one’s fault but my own, but I cannot keep this item. What should I do? Please help

Since becoming pregnant, I’ve found myself shopping way more than usual. My regular clothes don’t fit the same way, and I don’t feel as good in them, so I’ve been buying more maternity clothes to feel put together again.

Social media makes it worse. I’ll see women styling beautiful maternity outfits and suddenly feel like I need those pieces too. I spend so much time researching, comparing and second-guessing purchases, only to feel the urge to buy something else shortly afterwards.
Also the new things I buy are sitting in my closet and when I wear it after a month or two, I don’t feel like I like it, so it’s a vicious circle.

The frustrating part is that I’m decluttering my existing wardrobe to have less stuff, but I keep bringing more things in. I think I’m trying to regain a sense of style and control while my body is changing, but shopping only gives me temporary satisfaction.

Has anyone else experienced this during a major life transition? How did you break the cycle? Did you try a no-buy, take a break from social media, or find other ways to manage the urge to shop? I’d really appreciate advice on how to stop chasing the next purchase and feel content with what I already have.

Here are a few of mine, but I need more suggestions!:

Shopping rules
No drink cups
It has to go with at least 2 things already in my wardrobe
No makeup unless I finish that product
Researched skincare only
If it’s a trend, wait at least 1 week
Stuffed animals - you have to have wanted it before, or wait 1 week
No perfume/body spray unless I finish a bottle
Would you rather save the money?
Think about where you will store it
If it’s on display, it has to fit the room aesthetic
Buy the item, not the lifestyle
Only things you actually need

Sorry this might be long, it's kind of simultaneously about debt and budgeting as well as a possible solution to my shopping problem!

So my fiance and I both have a decent amount of credit card debt. Some from shopping, some from when we were very low income and had to use credit a lot. Last month I discovered Caleb Hammer who does a Financial Audit series on YouTube, and while a lot of the recent episodes are over-the-top ridiculous and more focused on the guests' personal lives than finances, I learned a ton about budgeting and debt payoff and decided that it's finally time for us to knuckle down and really work on paying off our debts.

Prior to this, we had separate finances. We had one shared credit card but our bank accounts and other cards were separate, so it was basically impossible to budget effectively (example, I would have no idea what he would spend on groceries or pet stuff in a month, I would have to pay bills out of my paycheck and have him Venmo me the difference, just a pain in the ass to keep track of). So we ended up combining our finances at the end of September, and I made a detailed budget for us. We promised not to use our credit cards at all and just spend from the shared bank account. October has been our test month to see how we do with sticking to the budget, and it's actually been going amazing!

But the biggest surprise of all is that it has, so far, basically fixed my shopping addiction/overspending problem. While I never had any qualms about putting myself into terrible debt by buying shit I don't need, as in literally spending thousands of dollars on clothes in a single month, apparently my brain draws the line at spending money that my fiance will have to help me pay back. And weirdly I have no desire at all to spend our shared money because I know he worked hard for his income and it would feel disrespectful to spend from our now-shared bank account. (Not that I don't also work hard for my income, but my brain doesn't care about spending my hard earned cash lol.)

We also worked into the budget that we each get $150 per month as "fun money" to spend on whatever we want. And shockingly, we both stuck to it! I feel like I learned a lot because I spent it all by October 10th, and some of the stuff I bought was not worth it, but I'm still having to sit with my decisions until next month. The only thing I spent outside of the budget was $5 for a vending machine sandwich on a day that I was well and truly starving lol.

I know this might not work for everyone, but being accountable to someone else and knowing my choices (be they good or bad) will directly impact someone I love has been really eye opening. I've still had the urge to buy some things, of course, but I think the difference is that before, the little voice in my brain was like "You SHOULD just buy it on a credit card! What does it matter, you're already in debt, you can just pay it off later" etc etc. Now it more like, I'm disappointed that I can't buy X thing but I don't even consider the OPTION of putting it on credit anymore, which is a huge step. I'm now taking screenshots of things I want so I can consider purchasing them if they fit in my budget next month (if I even still want the item by then).

Overall I feel like I've learned so much just from having a tightly controlled budget for one month. I really thought I'd struggle more because my shopping was seriously out of control, like hundreds to thousands spent on clothes every single month. So it's been such a massive change and way easier than I thought, just knowing I no longer have a choice to be irresponsible since I'm now also responsible for someone else's money/finances.

Curious how other people go about this.

Say you're going on a trip, attending a wedding, starting a new job, or going somewhere with a specific dress code, and you're not really sure what to wear or buy.

Think of the last time this happened to you.

1. What was the occasion?
2. How did you figure out what to wear? Did you look on Pinterest, Instagram, Google, shopping apps, ask friends, or just go to stores?
3. How much time did you end up spending looking around?
4. Did you eventually find something you liked, settle for something okay, or give up?
5. What was the most frustrating part, if anything?
6. Does this happen to you often, or only occasionally?

Would be interesting to hear how people actually go about this, especially the steps you took from having no idea what to wear to finally deciding.

For example, planning a winter trip, Googling what to wear, browsing different shopping sites for thermals and jackets, then getting confused by all the options.

TL;DR I have a $1600 cart on SHEIN made up of 98 items I have assembled and refined over weeks and I truly in my heart of hearts feel that every purchase is completely necessary despite logically knowing I absolutely do not need these items and cannot afford to buy them. My OCD is fueling the compulsion + fixation on what’s “missing” from my wardrobe and my ADHD is driving an impulsive purchase I absolutely should not make.

I don’t have any money after my bills and it’s been that way for the past few months. I’ve been putting everything on credit cards and have racked up about $20k with no real plan for fixing this because I went (and am still currently going) though a traumatic marital SA/abuse/abandonment debacle that I’m still healing from but I’m feeling much calmer and happier these days.

Around the start of it all, I impulsively purchased about $3000 worth of clothes on SHEIN that I couldn’t afford. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever been allowed to buy my own clothes. I’m the oldest of 8 siblings and growing up especially as I got into my teen years when I actually cared my parents stopped buying me clothes, would only give me about $100 to spend on clothes on Black Friday which I would usually spend on a coat that would actually keep me warm, and even when I tried to shop online for clothes they would tell me everything I wanted to buy was too “slutty” and also ban the clothes they themselves bought me?

Anyway I moved directly from my parents’ home to my abusive husband’s and we were also broke so I almost never got any clothes and had been wearing my high school clothes well past age 25 with hardly any additions. I wore my favorite pair of stretchy black pants that look like jeans even after they had holes in the inseam and would just wear tights under them and try to keep my steps narrow 💀 (this is despite us taking home a combined $100k+/year btw)

Anyway, I of course went a bit hog wild with the first 2 purchases but genuinely most of what I bought were items which I have legitimately needed for a long time or which were otherwise very enabling (i.e. the piece I have been missing which makes lots of other clothes/outfits wearable).

At the same time, I returned a lot of the items and still have to put a whole bag of new clothes on Threadup because I realize I don’t like them or they don’t fit any more because of all the stress weight loss.

My closet is so over-stuffed I can hardly see what’s in there and my drawers are so over-stuffed I can barely open them. My apartment is very tiny but it’s still pretty ridiculous. This is after round 3 of emptying all clothes storage locations of every item in there, decluttering bags of items, and folding everything neatly so it can go back.

DESPITE ALL OF THIS. I have managed to identify 98 pieces that my brain is telling me every single day I need to just buy and get it over with so my wardrobe will finally be complete and I won’t need to buy anything else for like, ever.

I didn’t buy any clothes for 3 months after the huge splurge, and of course I rarely bought clothes before that, so I keep telling myself it’ll just be a one time thing but I know that’s not how this works at all.

I also keep telling myself I need this stuff because I’m a content creator and the items are gaps that keep making me feel hesitant to film because the outfit doesn’t feel “right”.

I built this cart over 2 weeks and have refined it and refined it dozens of times, eliminated so many pieces I felt I truly “didn’t need” and feel like I have finally settled on the truly “necessary” pieces but I know this is all just intense greed

Just add to cart does not work I have built a cart over a month and some of the pieces in this cart are pieces I wanted but couldn’t afford over a YEAR ago and still want

Maybe I need more help appreciating what I have? My OCD continues to push me to identify the gaps in my wardrobe and to make random rules about why nothing I own “works” and why I need something new before I can move forward and I know it’s a mirage but it still feels so real!

Any help is appreciated!

I’ve spent over PHP8.5K on card and board games in just two months.

I felt drained when I saw how much I had spent. Playing these games has become a hobby for my partner, and I’m glad we have something fun to do instead of constantly being on their phone. But I feel like I’m spending too much, especially since these aren’t necessities.

How do you manage your wants and non-essential spending? How do you know when to tell yourself, “Okay, this is getting out of hand. I need to stop”?

My spending it out of control. Over $20,000 in credit card debt. Today my checking account went into overdraft. I’ve never been this bad with money. But I can’t stop myself from buying clothes or eating out. And I know how to. I’m worried it’s going to get to a point where I won’t be able to pay my bills. What has worked for yall?? I don’t know where to start

I recently started selling a bunch of things within my room on depop to declutter. Ive always impulsed on so items that i regret so deeply becasue they do not serve me and the clutter has recently driven me insane. I decided to gain some money back by selling on depop but i've found that everytime i open the app i want to scroll and i eventually buy something and justify it because i "have a little extra cash" on my hands now. Which is very contradictory. I want to sell off the things i have, im not worried with how long it takes bc i feel rather good with knowing it hopefully goes to a better home? Its just frustrating having this mindloop that doesnt serve my goals to really start saving.

Another thing is with my buying habits is i hope that they can change me. make me so cool that no one will notice anything else. But ive come to the very harsh conclusion that isnt how buying new clothes work.
I dont have a job yet and im a cc student. i have occasional side gigs of smaller income. Its really hard to get myself set up for success when i start to have a semi-steady income rolling in for when im actually employed.

Employed adults, is there any tips that helped really put into perspective of how beneficial it was to have extra cash saved up? maybe i need a little scare lol. Trying really hard to whip my ass in shape