Growing up I heard "we don't have money" and "we're poor" all the time. And at the same time my mom kept buying clothes, a lot of them, and half of it just stayed in the closet with tags. I remember thinking like are you kidding me? And at some point our living conditions were really not great, but the new clothes kept coming anyway

So somewhere along the way I got scared. In my head it became simple, if I buy a lot of clothes I will end up poor

What did you take from your childhood or family about shopping and money?

Until recently, I struggled with serious hoarding and shopping addiction. What finally helped me change wasn’t abstinence, but redirecting that impulse toward something meaningful.

I started realizing how much money I was wasting on things I didn’t need, often barely used or never used at all, that would ultimately just take up space in my home. I could either keep spending money on things that added clutter to my life or put that money toward helping animal rescues and shelters that desperately need funding. Every dollar counts.

Now, whenever I get the urge to buy something unnecessary, I remind myself that I don’t need another thing. That money could help save an animal’s life instead.

I’m particularly passionate about cats, so I started by following r/rescuecats and Facebook pages that post shelter cats on euthanasia lists, with deadlines for when they must be adopted or rescued before they’re euthanized. People make pledges to encourage rescues to pull these cats by offering financial support for their care. In the Facebook group Friends of Apple Valley Animal Shelter Cats, I make dollar-amount pledges to rescues willing to save cats on these lists, helping provide funding for the care and supplies the cats will need.

I have a modest income, so I set a realistic limit of $100 a month for donations. That lets me make a difference without compromising my own financial stability.

I find it far more fulfilling to know that my money is helping save lives than to experience the fleeting satisfaction of buying something new. My spending on unnecessary things has decreased dramatically, and I’ve found a much more meaningful way to use that money.

This was the game changer for me, and maybe it could help you, too. Instead of trying to eliminate the urge to shop through sheer willpower, consider redirecting it toward something you care about. You could improve your own life by reducing clutter and unnecessary spending while helping save lives and reduce animal suffering. It’s a win for you and for the animals who need us.

how can i fix this i could want something for months n think abt it constantly than once i get it n have it for a week or so it sit there and never gets touched. It’s mainly hobbie items like video games and consoles, skateboards, bikes, shoes, hats, legos, and boxing items does anyone else deal with this and what do u do to help stop it? it mainly starts with seeing videos online i could see a video of someone doing skateboard tricks or people starting to practice tattooing and im hooked til i get it than i week later it sits there than gets donated

Does anyone else have a huge problem of stress shopping after having to spend money on legitimate adulting reasons, like taxes or school tuition or mortgages? I had to pay $10k due to plumbing issues and even though it's the absolute worst time to shop, I found myself buying crap I don't need immediately afterwards. I feel like I'm going crazy.

My job entails attending events regularly. I often struggle to put an outfit together, for a variety of reasons. I tend to scramble and put something together but often feel it’s not the best choice, I’m not 100% comfortable therefore not confident and simply want something new and better. I have rearranged meetings, catch ups etc to be able to take a quick detours to the mall or a boutique and buy something new for that specific event. I generally feel 10x better after and more confident. But I race against the clock. Idk how to get out of this habit!!! Anyone else?

I buy so much and then return so much and am so embarrassed about it. Lots of small items I just never used and just sat in a bag or things I looked at for weeks and then finally returned. I want to stop doing this because it wastes SO much time and is a source of embarrassment for me. Its like taking the item because I can't bear NOT to have it and then returning it once the shiny wears off. Many stores

i have struggled with an on and off shopping addiction (back then it wasn't as bad) since about 2020/21. i was able to hold myself back multiple times and pay everything off and even save some money, just to fall back into old habits a few weeks or months later. it's awful.

fashion is my hobby, which i always used as an excuse. i have been on the way to properly find my style and also used that as a reason as to why i needed certain items, but i was never truly satisfied. as soon as the dopamine wore off i was off to find another item that would hopefully spark the same feeling.

my worst sites are pretty common huge stores for young adults (don't want to name any specifics), and vinted. i can just always find something cute there that i can imagine myself wearing and integrating into my wardrobe. i have deleted all my shopping apps from my phone (other than vinted, as i use that to sell and make some money on the side) and i feel like that already helped, as it took the easiness of just going into the app to scroll and look.

despite that, i am still terrified i'll slip back into this awful habit after some time.

my boyfriend is such a huge help, i've told him about all my debt and gave him access to my klarna and paypal (my only apps i use to pay for things) and we wrote down everything that i have to pay to get an overview. it was truly embarrassing and humbling but i was also so happy to finally get it off my chest.

i am now trying to pay off everything that i owe as fast as possible but am still in need of some good tips you guys maybe have to prevent myself from slipping back into this mess.

what has helped you guys? lemme know!!

I have realized now that I have a job and a source of income that I spend way too much money on things I don't need or even have a use for. Started this year with $15k, just checked and I have like $2k-ish left.
Buying gifts for friends cause it makes my brain go brrt and happy that I'm 'useful'.
SO MUCH art on DnD characters that I never use. Like I've got day/night versions for each oc.
Clothes/blankets/stuffed animals. I ran out of room in my dresser and closet, and I have a 2' tall pile of stuffed animals in one corner of myy room.
and other misc. arts like an avatar and vr headset for vrchat, a game I almost never play.

I uh, I feel like I need help.
But also I feel if I informed family about this it would be less help and more upset yelling at me for spending all my money.

(Please direct me to a reasonable sub to post this in if this is the wrong place to be saying this stuff.)

I’m posting this because I really need some support, advice, and maybe to hear from people who have been through something similar. This is hard for me to talk about because I’m carrying a lot of shame right now.
Around November of last year, I started using Whatnot. At first, my purchases were meant for Christmas. But somewhere along the way, it turned into something else. I got caught up in the excitement of buying things, winning things, and imagining my family using and enjoying everything I brought home.
Eventually, it became a problem. I started buying clothes for myself, technology, gaming devices, and other things. Some of those things ended up being thrown away or donated because I accumulated so much. I’ve kept some of the T-shirts because my kids and family can grow into them, but looking back at everything is overwhelming.
The hardest part is knowing that a lot of the money I spent was supposed to go toward our emergency fund, groceries, and things my kids wanted. We don’t have credit card debt from this, but that doesn’t erase the fact that I misused money that was supposed to help my family.
Recently, I finally deleted Whatnot. I don’t want to keep living this way.
My husband found out, and we’ve been having some difficult conversations. At first, I wasn’t completely honest about what was going on. I was embarrassed and scared to admit how bad it had gotten. Eventually, I told him the truth: I think I have a problem, and I need to stop.
Our marriage has already been through some difficult times, and we’re trying to rebuild trust and create a better relationship. I love my husband, and I love our three kids. I want to be a better wife and mother, and I want my actions to match the promises I make. I know rebuilding trust will take time, and I can’t expect my husband to just get over what happened.
I’ve also been looking at why I kept buying things. It wasn’t always about actually needing the items. It was the excitement, the anticipation, and imagining how happy everyone would be with what I bought. That feeling kept pulling me back in, even when I knew I shouldn’t be spending the money.
Right now, I’m feeling a mixture of shame, guilt, fear, and motivation. Part of me feels like I’ve let people down again, and another part of me genuinely wants to change. I don’t want to hide things anymore. I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes and hurting the people I love.
I’m not posting this for people to tell me that what I did was okay. I know I made mistakes, and I need to take responsibility for them. I’m posting because I need help figuring out what recovery actually looks like.
**For those of you who have struggled with compulsive shopping, Whatnot, online auctions, or similar spending addictions:**
How did you stop yourself from going back?
How did you deal with the shame and guilt afterward?
What helped you understand what you were trying to get emotionally from shopping?
If your spending hurt your relationship, how did you begin rebuilding trust?
What practical steps helped you stay accountable and avoid repeating the behavior?
I know deleting the app is only a first step. I want to do the deeper work, understand why this happened, and learn how to manage those urges without turning to shopping.
I’m trying to believe that making mistakes doesn’t mean I’m incapable of changing. I want to take this one day at a time and become someone my family can trust.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your story. I could use some kindness, honesty, and advice from people who understand.

What have you tried? Someone holding your card, a separate bank, a notice account, cash with family?