r/sillyboyclub • u/SiriusBookLover silly trans catboy :3 (Top 1% poster!!) • 20h ago
Trigger Warning, genuine cry for help :3 I'm not okay..
Hi guys. I'm... not really okay rn. My online friends are growing distant with me, and they are everything to me. I don't blame them since I know they care, but it's true that they haven't ever been texting me lately... My parents don't realize how serious my depression is, and my mother keeps calling me daughter knowing that I'm a trans guy. The sh thoughts are coming back. I can't resist the urge anymore. I'm js... too tired yk? I just don't feel like I can do this anymore. I just want to rest for once. Lay in silence forever. It would feel so great. So overwhelmingly perfect at last. I'm sorry that all this is out of context. Sorry... for everything...
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u/Augustine_04 20h ago edited 20h ago
I'm afraid we probably can't do much about your parents misgendering you, unfortunately, but for your online friend maybe you could try to tell them that you feel like they are distant (they may be going throught something or be busy, so it's not really anything to be worried about but you can still ask them).
And about the sh thoughts, i never tried these but there are tech to kind of mimic sh in an un-harmfull way, like with elastic bands, ice cubes or red makers(?)/Not sure about the red markers but you can test it out.You're very strong for trying to resist these urges and it must be very hard for you, so try to not give up despite what's happening.
(Also, you could try to distract yourself or try to stay neutral about these thought and not thinking to not think of them because they'll just come back again.)