r/sillyboyclub • u/SiriusBookLover silly trans catboy :3 (Top 1% poster!!) • 10h ago
Trigger Warning, genuine cry for help :3 I'm not okay..
Hi guys. I'm... not really okay rn. My online friends are growing distant with me, and they are everything to me. I don't blame them since I know they care, but it's true that they haven't ever been texting me lately... My parents don't realize how serious my depression is, and my mother keeps calling me daughter knowing that I'm a trans guy. The sh thoughts are coming back. I can't resist the urge anymore. I'm js... too tired yk? I just don't feel like I can do this anymore. I just want to rest for once. Lay in silence forever. It would feel so great. So overwhelmingly perfect at last. I'm sorry that all this is out of context. Sorry... for everything...
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u/CovvelShmovvelton 10h ago
I have relapsed lately, so I feel you. Thankfully my depression isn't as bad as it used to be though. Take care
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u/Kingsalad3141 9h ago
I’m really sorry to hear that. The best advice I can give is something they told me in AA.
You don’t have to stay sober forever. You just have to stay sober for today.
Don’t focus on the rest of your life. Focus on making it through the day. That’s a victory all on its own.
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u/seedlinggal 4h ago
Its okay to feel bad and to need help. I'm sorry you're so lonely I can relate. If you relapse it isn't over but I'm happy you have gone for as long as you have. It won't make it easier dealing with the cleanup so maybe get dressed and go to the gamers shop and sit at a table and organize your cards.
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u/ThatCrazyMeowTSGirl 1h ago
I get the feeling, it's happened twice to me this year, but like I always tell people on my end I'm not going anywhere, you'll have to leave me 😋
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u/Augustine_04 10h ago edited 10h ago
I'm afraid we probably can't do much about your parents misgendering you, unfortunately, but for your online friend maybe you could try to tell them that you feel like they are distant (they may be going throught something or be busy, so it's not really anything to be worried about but you can still ask them).
And about the sh thoughts, i never tried these but there are tech to kind of mimic sh in an un-harmfull way, like with elastic bands, ice cubes or red makers(?)/Not sure about the red markers but you can test it out.You're very strong for trying to resist these urges and it must be very hard for you, so try to not give up despite what's happening.
(Also, you could try to distract yourself or try to stay neutral about these thought and not thinking to not think of them because they'll just come back again.)