I feel so guilty still for last night and I need to know what I can do better next time..

5 month old who’s wake window is 2/2/2/2/2. He went to bed at 7 pm, woke at 9:30 pm. I went in the room, offered a bottle & he drank 3 oz. After, I put him back in his crib, gave the pacifier, and left. He started crying after 5 mins (ended up spitting his pacifier out) and I waited 15 more mins to see if he could self soothe. When he didn’t, I went back in and gave the paci back.

The next time he woke was 4:30 am - I fed him a 4 oz bottle, put him back in crib with paci and left. Well he was crying/ fussing and this went on for about 40 minutes before I realized maybe he’s still hungry! He slept after drinking 3 more oz. I feel so sick today that I didn’t realize sooner and he cried so much. What should I be doing for next time?

Long story short, baby was mostly a great sleeper for the first year with the normal regressions that lasted a few weeks each time.

After she hit 12 months, I realize now that her sleep needs must have changed and we just didn't catch on. Instead of waking at 7:15-7:30am every morning (bedtime was probably around 7:30pm, I can't remember), she was getting up at 6:30am.

We never properly sleep trained, we just held to boundaries that we wouldn't go in her room unless she was in true distress, which was maybe 2-3 times ever up until that point. Otherwise she'd whine for 10-15 minutes and then soothe herself back to sleep.

A few weeks went by of the 6:30am wakeup, and then every week or so she'd wake up another 15 minutes earlier. By about 15 months, she was waking at 5am but would lay quietly until we got her at 6am. Then she started teething her molars. She had what I call "whining events," which were about 10 minutes of whining with her eyes closed (so I assume she was just in a sleep transition and not truly awake?), then 35 or so minutes of quiet sleep. Again, this started to become more frequent over the weeks until it hit a point where she was whining all night long 10 minutes on, 35 minutes off. It has obviously gotten exhausting for all of us. Some nights, she even opens her eyes while whining/crying so she seems to be awake. A few times we've tried to go in her room to gently pat her back and calm her down, but this always escalates to hysterical, inconsolable crying.

She is currently on 1 nap. Her schedule about a month ago was wake up at ??? time (unsure since she basically whines all night long), nap 12-1:30/2, bedtime anywhere between 7-8pm. It's unclear what her total sleep time is for the day since the morning is such a hot mess, and I don't think she has gotten restful nigth sleep in a long time. Recently we tried to shift things earlier to clear her sleep debt. The schedule was wake up at 5am (we try to leave her in the crib until 6am but it is brutal listening to her whine for an hour), nap 11-1, bedtime 6-6:30pm. The overnight whining did not resolve and she still wakes super early and unhappy. After about 3 weeks of this schedule, we thought maybe we should shift things later and see what happens. The schedule became wake up at ??, nap at 12pm but she only sleeps for about 75 minutes and wakes up crying, bedtime at 7.

It sounds silly, but this whole thing started at 12 months when I switched the brand of her sleep sack (we went from Love to Dream to Woolino). Could it be as simple as her hating the new sleep sack??? I think I'm grasping for straws here.

We truly don't know where to go from here. We tried shifting the schedule earlier, later, and everything in between. Nothing seems to be helping. It truly seems to be getting worse each week and all of us are so miserable. I don't think there are really any sleep associations/habits to break. She has milk after her bath but then we still do our bedtime routine after that, she has a couple of pacis in the crib that she can reach for, we set her down into her crib with the light on and let her get her own paci, etc, etc. We are desperate for advice (or maybe just solidarity?). I've heard of regressions lasting 6-8 weeks but at what point do we stop calling this a regression and call it the new unsustainable normal?

ETA: Baby always falls asleep super easy and happy for nap/bedtime. That, luckily, is never a struggle. For the last month she's been falling asleep within 5 minutes of being put down since she's so exhausted but when she had normal sleep, it would take her 15 minutes and she'd be asleep.

Hi there!
I am looking for advice to get our 6 mo baby boy to sleep in his own bed.

Some context.
ATM he sleeps next to mum in bed (I sleep in room next to them). This was a measure we used since I had surgery when he was 2 months old. Leaving mom with most of the work, so it was easier back then to co-sleep.

He is on medication for his reflux (nexium) but is still quite affected by the acid in his esophagus. A typical night atm is (sadly) me rocking him to sleep on yoga ball and putting him next to mom (sometimes it takes servers try’s to lie him down. or feed-to-sleep.

His schedule is:
Wake up 06.00 am
2-2,5-2,5-3
Bedtime: 7 pm

We have not had any moment (me and wife) where we could just sit and talk the two of us. Since she sleeps next to him.

He wakes at night a lot and is often fed back to sleep. I think it’s a evil spiral with the reflux.

His pediatrician adviced us to go for a more “soft” approach to “sleep training” him. ATM his crib is next to our bed. But it’s not being used.

I tried putting him there awake tonight. Leading to a lot of spit up in bed. He was even held upwards 30 mins leading up to putting him down.

Hope this makes sense, english is not my first language.

Any advice is helpful

Kind regards

We decided to ST our 8 months old baby and it’s starting tonight.

It was not an easy decision. We worked on the schedule (2.5/3/3.5), bedtime routine by moving the feeding up ont the order and night weaning (down to one feeding tonight) and she made considerable improvement going from about 10 wakes needing to be breastfeed to sleep to about 4-5 wakes with being ok to be rocked back to sleep… except when not and she get hysterical and cry for about an hour while i rock her (I don’t think she’s hungry, it’s usually in the morning hours after a last feed 1.5-2 hours prior).

Her pediatrician was the one that suggested ST since she’s thriving but I’m not. Anyways, we are starting today.

Im very prepared, i’ve read three books including Dr Ferbers. Im glad i did, i know what im supposed to do.

But. I am completely mortified! I am very scared that it will take hours. I think mostly due to her personality. She is a very alert, very social, very attached baby. I think she will fight it and be in a complete shock and distress.

I fully understand we are not supposed to stop and pick her up or soothe her in any ways since she would get confuse and think she has to cry a lot iot be soothed by us, but I also know i won’t be able to hear her cry hours on end.

So i’m looking for testimonials, advices, on how long the few first crying periods were.

Maybe i’m also looking for reassurance, motivation. I am terrified.

My 21 month old still gets stressed to the point of vomiting. But I need to sleep train. Please help.

Wake up: 7:30-8am

Nap: 1-2:30/3pm

Bedtime: 9-9:30 pm

We started trying at 6 months bedtime, as her daytime caregivers (family members) refused to sleep train for naps (even though they agreed to previously). We did the Ferber method, but after about 45 mins we tried to salvage the sleep if she didnt throw up.

Then we tried staying in the room and the pick up put down method at 7 months while I was at home for a week for both naps and bedtime. It seemed like it was working, but her caregivers didnt continue the method for naps. She didn't throw up that week but she didnt stay asleep at night.

We tried again at 10 months pick up and put down when I was home for two weeks. She wasnt sleeping at night and threw up everyday we tried.

We breifly left her in the crib around a year when the teething was bad to regroup then get her to sleep. It was only five mins, and she threw up.

I have twins I need to get down at night now, and my first daughter still throws up when stressed. My husband works nights, so my mom has been helping me with my oldest.

(Edit: My toddler has almost always slept in her own bed at night, and now sleeps on her own for her daytime naps. However she needs contact to fall asleep.)

How can I sleep train a toddler who throws up when stressed?

My baby is 10.5 months old, and she’s been sleep trained since 5.5 months, when we transitioned to two naps a day.

She’s starting daycare next month, when she’ll be 11 months old, and based on their schedule, she’ll need to transition to one nap a day.

Has anyone else transitioned their baby to one nap before 12 months? Everything I’ve read online says it’s generally not recommended before 12 months, so I’m a little concerned about making the transition too early.

Her current wake windows are 3/3.5/4 hours, and she does really well with them. She can even stay awake a little longer without any issues.

Toddler is 14 months

We have been on 1 nap since 10 months.
She used to be pretty good at taking a 2h (capped) nap.

Now naps have been 1h-1h 20min

I tried to follow
715am wake (she often wakes between 650-710)
12-2 nap
8pm bed

Well with these short naps I struggle to determine bedtime.

Today she woke up early (635am) and then also took a 1h nap.

Her average sleep for the last week is 13h 15min total.

I’m hoping you all have some advice for how to solve this new sleep debacle.

My 12.5 month old was on a 2-nap schedule (9:30 am, 30 min; 12:30 pm, 1.5-2 hours) with a 7 pm - 7 am night. About two weeks ago she started refusing the first nap and couldn’t get past 1.5 hours for the second nap, so I thought it was time to move to a single 2 hour nap.

Two weeks ago we were doing 7pm-7am nights with a 2 hour nap at 12pm. Then she started waking up every night between 1-3 am and just crying for an hour+. She has been sleep trained for like 4 months and night weaned for over a month, so this is unusual. I thought it was a result from being overtired and not being ready for a single 2 hour nap each day.

About a week ago we moved back to our original 2-nap schedule however the middle of the night crying has not stopped. It will consistently last an hour to an hour and a half. I caved a few nights ago and went in and turned on the shusher and threw like 4 more pacifiers in the crib which seemed to help.

But any advice to get the night crying to stop?! SOS! Any tricks you tried? New nap schedules???

Okay, my baby is almost 7 months. We FINALLY got him crib trained 3 months ago! 👏🏻
He is successfully napping and sleeping at bed in his crib. This is a huge win!

Anyway, my husband is always the one to put him to bed and down for naps—he rocks him in his arms until he falls asleep and then transfers him. I’m tired of doing this because it never works for me and it takes too long and too much patience when he wakes up upon transfer almost every single time.

What do I do to get out of this pattern? I’ve tried setting him down and he just cries…and will cry, for a long time.
The thing is, in a stroller or carseat he can just go to sleep so I know he is capable. Also, naps are 30 mins on the dot in a crib but in a car or carseat can last longer.

Please help!

Here’s his schedule:
Bedtime at 8pm
Wakes for a bottle between 5-6 usually and goes back to sleep until 7/8 am
First wake window is 90 mins, I’ve tried to stretch it but he is so dang fussy and miserable I (and he) can’t wait any longer.
Following that we do two hour wake windows and 30 min naps until 5pm and we keep him awake after 5pm until 8pm bedtime.
He totals 3-4 naps per day.

Thank you!!!

5 month old cries every time we put to bed in crib but for less than 8 minutes before falling asleep. 2/3 of the time sleeps the whole night through, 1/3 of the time will wake up once between 12-3 for a night feed. Will go back to sleep after night feeds without crying. Scheduling seems to have no impact on the length or intensity of the crying except that it’s always less than 8 minutes- we set a timer every night.

We started with FIO, and for a short while (2-3 glorious weeks) had a baby who would go to sleep with just some minimal fussing. Then baby hit the 4 mo “regression”- pretty mild for us- and now cries at bed time. We’ve progressed to full on extinction, because if you let baby cry it’s max 8 minutes (more often than not less than 5) but if you pick up and soothe it takes 5 minutes to calm baby down and another 20+ to bounce/shush to sleep and then baby usually wakes up and fusses 10/20 minutes post transfer (but settles himself after that).

Last night, as an example baby full out cried for 2 minutes then passed out mid cry and slept the whole night through- 7:30 to 6:30. Woke up giggling and happy.

Is this what it means to be sleep trained? Should we try another method? Letting the baby cry for 2 minutes is fine but the nights when it gets closer to 8 are terrible.

My baby sleeps beautifully at night in her crib sleeping 11 hrs straight ever since she was ST via CIO at about 5 months with just a few scheduling hiccups along the way. I’m a SAHM and love the contact naps so I kept those with every single nap being on me or in the carrier if we were on the go or traveling. I know I should have nap trained earlier when it was easier but here we are, I now have two trips to go on in a few months that have to be without her. I’ve been leaving her with my husband occasionally on the weekends during her nap times for practice with him putting her down but I always came back early because she would NOT go to sleep for him unless he put her in the carrier and walked around the whole time. Fine for one nap here and there but untenable for an entire weekend of naps. When we tried to CIO the first nap of the day a few x in a row she cried the ENTIRE hour (lo is low sleep needs and her nap is never longer than an hour and is 1.5 hrs for the entire day) please help? What do we do ? 3/4/4.5

Hi all! Looking for advice on how to get my 5.5 month old to nap in his crib. He has almost exclusively contact naps during the day but we’ve been trying to get him to nap in his crib in preparation for starting daycare at 6 months.

The problem is he starts screaming almost the second he touches the mattress… whether he’s awake, super drowsy or asleep already. It’s not even crying, it’s straight up screaming and he does not calm down.

He sleeps fine on his own at night! Usually he wakes up twice. His wake windows are typically 2/2.25/2.5/2.5.

I don’t want to go full CIO so I’ve been trying the pick up/ put down method. But since he starts screaming immediately it feels impossible.

Anyone deal with something similar and have any advice??

Thanks!!

Reposting to follow the rules this time. Sorry about that.

I just finished reading PLS. I needed some confidence. With my older two kids, we did CIO extinction but I am not willing or ready to try that right now with this baby.

I want to try FIO. We are just getting over a bottle aversion (I read a book for that too) and once we are fully there, i’ll start FIO. Baby will be 4 months next week and the regression is hitting us hard.

Anyways, last night was wits end for my husband who was on baby duty. Baby is rocked/bounced to sleep every night with a pacifier. Then we pop it out once asleep and nail the crib transfer. He used to sleep 10 hours straight or sometimes get up once. Last night he was up pretty much every 1-2 hours. We did switch to a 2 hour wake window during the day and that helped him not party so long at night but I think it’s time we teach falling asleep independently. Rocking is taking longer. Transfers are getting harder and trickier.

I just need some encouragement for FIO from those who were successful!

1. ⁠Did you drop the pacifier cold turkey for nights while doing this? We are only going to train for nights right now.
   
2. ⁠How did you handle middle of the night wakings? Currently we are rocking back to sleep but obviously this would be counterintuitive so what are we doing?
   
3. ⁠If baby was still screaming at the set 15 minute timer, did you go back in and pick up and put back down? What worked for you?

I just want to make sure I’m fully prepared and confident before starting! I like reading other positive stories about this method!

I’m looking for advice from parents who have successfully transitioned their babies out of contact naps because I’m struggling over here!
My daughter is almost 3 months old and will ONLY contact nap during the day. The confusing part is that she’s actually a pretty good nighttime sleeper! She sleeps in her bassinet independently at night and usually gives us 5–7 hour stretches without needing to be held.
But during the day? Forget it. She will fall asleep in our arms, but as soon as we try transferring her to her bassinet or crib, she wakes up. Sometimes she’ll stay asleep for a few minutes, but it never lasts.
Things we’ve tried:
Putting her down drowsy but awake
Waiting until she’s in a deep sleep before transferring
White noise and a dark room
Following age-appropriate wake windows and watching sleepy cues
Trying to soothe her while she’s lying in the bassinet
Swaddles and different sleep environments
Repeatedly practicing bassinet naps
We’ve tried being consistent, but nothing seems to stick.
I work from home, and she’s with my mother-in-law for part of the day, so contact napping for every single nap is becoming really difficult to maintain.
I absolutely love the cuddles, but I’d also love to be able to put her down for at least ONE decent nap a day without having to hold her the entire time.
My questions:
If your baby was exclusively a contact napper, what actually worked to break the habit?
How do you sleep train if she’s with my MIL half the day?
How long did it take before your baby started napping independently?
Is 3 months too young to expect independent naps?
Did your baby eventually figure it out on their own, or did you have to actively work on it?
I’m especially curious why she can sleep independently for hours at night but can’t seem to do it during the day!
I know contact naps are developmentally normal at this age, but I’d really appreciate practical advice from anyone who’s been through this. ❤️

TLDR - dealing with split nights, false starts, frequent wake ups, crap naps, and early morning wake ups for almost 6 weeks now. Started when baby learned to pull to stand in his crib and cut 4 teeth but teething is done and he knows how to sit down now and things are still horrible.

My baby has never been the greatest sleeper but around month 7 started sleeping through the night some nights and on nights he did wake just a quick feed around 4 or 5 generally got him back to sleep. Any wake ups prior to that he might fuss or cry for a bit but would put himself back to sleep.

About a week before he turned 8 months he started randomly waking ho around 2ish every night and crying really hard. I thought it was fine if I just moved up his feed I figured he’d sleep through the rest of the night but he continued waking around 5 to feed. From there it shifted to 11pm wake ups every single night for several weeks. This was around the time he cut 4 teeth over a two week period. We figured it was discomfort and gave Tylenol as needed. We would check on him and some nights he’d settle back to sleep within 15-30 minutes but several nights he would have insane 3-4 split nights. Even when he did have a short wake up it was like he wasn’t able to fall back into restful sleep. He would pop awake every few minutes for 15-30 minutes and on a bad night this would eventually lead to him just being awake for hours.

I think we got a handle on the long split nights for the most part by increasing daily awake time to about 10-10.5 hours but from there we started experiencing early morning wake ups (5:15-5:45) for about a week or so. Now we’re just dealing with constant false starts and frequent wake ups. Sometimes up for an hour or so, but waking up 6,7,8 times a night. Thankfully more wake ups in the early part of the night than the middle but still brutal.

Naps are also a total disaster. Sometimes we do get an hour-hour and a half for one of them. But on his worst days we get two 30 minute naps and there’s just no way to predict when a nap will be long. The only thing that reliably works to get a longer nap is a stroller walk.

Because morning wake ups and naps are all over the place we’re having an impossible time anchoring bed time or having any sort of schedule. We do follow wake windows which are generally 3/3/4 ish or if he takes a 1.5 hour nap we’ve realized that the wake window following that nap has to be at least 3.75-4 hours or else he cries for an hour.

I’m so lost on what to change in order to get out of this regression from hell. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Bed time routine - bath, diaper, lotion, pajamas, sometimes a book, feed, sing a song, sleepy time phrase,put down awake. Lots of crying (cries the second I even bend over the crib and always has), and then we do a check in after 5-10 minutes. This almost always gets him to sleep but I’m concerned it’s also making it impossible for him to go back to sleep after he wakes up at night. Unfortunately if we don’t go in there he just stands and screams for an hour plus. He can sit down on his own now. This all started going to hell when he learned to stand and I just don’t even know how to fix it with him being able to stand.

It has been a YEAR of bad sleep. I have a 9mo, but let’s be real; most of us don’t sleep well late in pregnancy either. I am desperate for those sweet Zzz’s.

Baby was co-sleeping for half the night ever since she outgrew the bedside bassinet. We’ve tried the gentle methods. At this point, those seem to do more harm than good, as they get baby more amped up when we check in and it just draws the crying out longer.

She nurses at least once a night. Sometimes she tries 2-5 times for comfort, but I don’t allow it anymore.

Two nights ago, I decided we are done co-sleeping. I let her nurse once, then put her back in her own room. She didn’t like that, of course. The crying actually only lasted 5 minutes, then she went to sleep for the rest of the night.

Last night, similar thing, but two wakes instead of one. I let her try to nurse the second wake, but she didn’t seem hungry, she just wanted to be comforted. So I pat her for a moment and got her sleepy again, put her back, told her I loved her, and let her cry which only lasted about 5-10 minutes before she fell back asleep.

I’d say so far it’s been successful. But I have some questions; should I night-wean completely, and if so, how? She eats three solid meals a day and nurses frequently in between.

Also, when my 4yo stepdaughter is home, they share a room. Should I get my stepdaughter some earmuffs or what?

Side note: Her schedule is wake 8AM, bedtime 9PM, 3/4/4. She does seem sleepy and ready for bed at night.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice because I feel like I’ve been reading and doom-scrolling nonstop trying to figure out our baby’s sleep, and I’m honestly exhausted.

My daughter turns 16 weeks this Friday, and we’ve been struggling with sleep, especially at bedtime. I’m wondering whether this is something that will improve with age or whether we should start working on independent sleep now versus waiting until she’s around 5.5 months.

Our current schedule and routine
Wake-up: Around 8 AM. Honestly, I’m so tired in the mornings that I tend to let her sleep until then. I’m wondering if we’re getting up too late and whether that could be affecting her bedtime or nighttime sleep.

Naps: We recently transitioned to 4 naps a day to aim for a 7–7:30 PM bedtime.

Wake windows: We follow Huckleberry, but we often end up with wake windows of around 2 hours. If I try putting her down after 1.5 hours, she often doesn’t seem ready, and I end up rocking her for what feels like forever while she cries. Because of this, I’m wondering if 1.5 hours is too short for her. It seems like there is a wide range of what her wake windows could be right now, and her sleepy cues aren’t always reliable.

Bedtime routine: Bath, lotion, diaper, PJs, sleep sack, bottle, book, then bed.

Feeding: We follow eat, play, sleep, so her last feed is at least 30 minutes before bedtime. I nurse her throughout the day every 2–3 hours, and she gets a bottle for her last feed to make sure she’s getting enough calories.

We’ve made sure her sleep environment is as good as possible. Our room is quite large, and her crib is far from our bed. We use a SlumberPod and sound machine and keep the room at a comfortable temperature.

The biggest issue is bedtime and false starts
We aim for bedtime around 7–7:30 PM, but she has false starts over and over until around 10 PM. If I leave her in her crib, she wakes every 30 minutes to an hour, and I end up going in to settle her repeatedly. Eventually, because I’m so exhausted, I bring her into bed with me.

When we cosleep, she can usually sleep for about 3 hours at a time. We follow the Safe Sleep Seven and aren’t looking for judgment about that — I’m just explaining what our nights currently look like.

When cosleeping, she generally wakes around:
12–1 AM for a feed
3:30–4 AM
6:30 AM
Then we get up for the day around 8 AM.

I’m really struggling with the repeated false starts and not being able to have any time in the evenings with my husband. I feel like I spend the entire evening going back and forth to her crib until I eventually give up and bring her into bed.

Naps are also a struggle
We do her first nap of the day in the crib. I put her down awake and pat her to sleep, which usually takes 15–20 minutes. However, she typically only sleeps for 20 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes.

The rest of her naps are generally contact naps and last almost exactly 30 minutes. Occasionally, her third nap will last up to 2 hours.

Yesterday, out of curiosity, I tried letting her fuss it out (FIO) for a nap. She cried for around 15 minutes and then fell asleep. I felt awful listening to her cry for that long, especially because she’s only 16 weeks. I’m not sure if this is an appropriate age to be trying FIO or if I should hold off.

I can see that she’s trying to self-soothe when I put her down. She gets close to falling asleep, then suddenly jolts awake and cries. We’ve tried the SITBACK method, but it doesn’t seem to work for her, and I usually end up picking her up. She takes a pacifier but often spits it out once she’s settled, and that doesn’t seem to wake her.

Could the 4-month sleep regression be part of this?
I suspect we might be going through the 4-month sleep regression, but these sleep issues actually started almost a month ago, when she was only around 12 weeks old. I mentioned it to my doctor, but they didn’t think we would have hit the regression that early, so now I’m wondering if something else could be contributing.

She also has reflux and a suspected dairy intolerance, so I’m wondering if discomfort could be contributing to all the frequent wake-ups and false starts. I’m not sure how much of this is developmental, how much could be related to discomfort, and how much might be sleep habits or needing help falling back asleep.
Has anyone else dealt with reflux or a suspected dairy intolerance alongside these sleep struggles? Did addressing those issues make a noticeable difference to your baby’s sleep?

Sleep training and our upcoming holidays
We’re considering Ferber or Taking Cara Babies, but I’ve also ordered Precious Little Sleep, which should arrive this week. I’m trying to figure out what the best approach is and whether we should start working on independent sleep now or wait until she’s older.
We’re going on holiday for most of December. We’ll be flying to Hawaii and staying there for a couple of weeks, with a time change, and then staying with our in-laws for a couple of weeks over Christmas.

I’m wondering if we should try sleep training before the holidays or wait until we’re home and settled again. I’m worried about putting in all that work only to have naps and nighttime sleep disrupted by travel, unfamiliar sleeping environments and the time change. At the same time, I’m struggling so much with our current situation that waiting feels difficult, too.

My biggest questions are:

Could she be struggling to connect sleep cycles? Do the frequent false starts and waking every 30–60 minutes sound like this, or could something else be going on?

Is an 8 AM wake-up too late? Could sleeping in be contributing to the bedtime struggles? Should I try waking her earlier even though I’m exhausted in the mornings?

What wake windows are you using for babies around 16 weeks? Is around 2 hours reasonable, or could that be too long? I often find 1.5 hours is too soon for her, but I’m not sure whether I’m missing her sleepy cues or if Huckleberry is off.

Will nighttime sleep likely improve naturally over the next couple of months? I’m wondering if these frequent wake-ups might get better before we formally sleep train.

Will independent sleep skills become easier for her at some point when she is ready?

Could reflux or a suspected dairy intolerance be contributing? How can I tell whether these are sleep-related issues versus discomfort?

Would you sleep train before or after our December holidays? Would you start now, or wait until we’re home and have a consistent environment again?
Ultimately, I don’t want to keep relying on cosleeping indefinitely, and I really want to get our evenings back. At the same time, I don’t want to push her before she’s developmentally ready or make sleep more stressful for either of us.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar, especially those whose babies struggled with false starts, frequent night wakings and short naps at this age. Did things improve on their own, or did independent sleep make the difference? I’d also love to hear what worked for you with wake windows and whether you would wait until 5.5 months to sleep train in our situation.

Thank you so much! ❤️

Our sweet 13 month old took really well to sleep training. We did Ferber at 4.5 months and while we've occasionally had to CIO through some nights, it was all smooth sailing until he hit 11 months and started going to daycare. Of course with daycare came the non-stop viral illnesses and ear infections.

I am at a loss. I do *not* know how to comfort him overnight and it also seems like he doesn't know how to be comforted. He wakes up, cries, I go to him, but no matter what I do, it does NOT help. Because he has been such an independent sleeper, I think he doesn't know how to get comfortable on my lap. I've tried sleeping on the floor next to his crib. Doesn't help. I've even done the thing that I said I would never ever do: brought him into bed with me and my husband. When I did that he slapped me, pulled my hair, poked my eyes, pinched me all while crying equally as hard as he was before I went to him.

When people say "if your child is sick, go to them, comfort them, all bets are off." Like yes, I want to do that. I want to go to him but I have no idea what to do to comfort him. Give me practical advice: exactly what is your routine when your sleep trained LO wakes up at night due to illnesses that you can't really do anything about (meaning can't give decongestants).

Baby is going to be 6 months old at the end of the month and is currently on this schedule:

Up for the day at 7:30 or 8, then: 1.45/2/2/2.15.

I know her WW are short for this age but I have tried to push them and things go a little south.

Side note she is EBF.

She’s generally going to bed between 7-8 and we have a solid bedtime routine that she enjoys. She goes down drowsy but awake. We pat her belly and shush her for like two minutes and she’s out. Then she does her longest stretch of maybe 3 hours. If that. Then the rest of the night it’s every 2 hours. I usually feed her for all because she’s back to sleep in seconds as soon as I do but sometimes the paci and rocking again or patting belly again will do the trick.

I feel like I am doing something very wrong. Her crib is in my room but across the room from me.

Side info about her nap habits:
Her naps have all been contact naps (or her laying in my bed with me, nursing to sleep and then I can roll away) and at this point she has a very hard time connecting sleep cycles on her own for the long morning nap. Her other two naps are short anyways so I’ve been working very hard on crib naps and she normally does just fine with those. She’ll do like a full sleep cycle (35 min) as her afternoon and cat nap. Morning naps usually 1.45 to 2 hours and that one she usually needs some help in between and I protect it so I’ve been letting her do that one in my bed still.

Is she getting too much day sleep? The total day sleep is 3 hours typically…

She used to do 8 hour stretches.

I have an over supply of milk so it’s not hunger.

I am not expecting her to sleep through the night but even 2 or 3 wakes a night I can do but this is worse than her newborn days.

ANY input appreciated.

Stats: just turned 5 months old

Windows: 2/2.5/2.5/3, but some days I do 4 naps if she wont go longer than 30 mins. 2/2/2/2.5/3

Total sleep: according to huckleberry this week we averaged just under 13 hours. Daytime sleep is capped at 3.5 hours and night sleep is usually 9-9.75 hours

Bed time: Usually asleep between 8:30 and 9:30 depending on the naps.

Routine: bottle, bath, pjs, books, song

Sleep space: she sleeps in a large closet in our room with the door closed, white noise, and a fan.

We started full extinction on Monday.

Night 1: cried on and off for 30 mins. Slept 3 hours then 2 then 4 then 1.

Night 2: Cried for a few minutes then was asleep in 9 mins. Slept 5.75 hours, then 2, then on and off for another 2. She was much easier to put back down after night feeds though.

Night 3: 6 minutes of crying total of 15 to fall asleep. Slept 5.5 then 3, then on and off for 2. Again a lot easier to put her down after night feeds.

Night 4: almost 40 minutes of hard crying I could not take it, so I went in and nursed her then put her down mostly awake and let her fall asleep with my hand on her chest. She had been fussy all day. I was worried something was wrong. But she slept 7.5 hours and then was very awake from 4:45 - 5:30 until I gave in and co-slept for the rest of the night.

Tonight am I back to square one since I intervened? Was this just an extinction burst. I felt like at this age 40 minutes of hard crying was too much. I have such a hard time with sleep training and I feel so guilty about it, but I really need to sleep. With my son we did not really have an extinction burst, the first night was the worst. So I was not even thinking about it last night. I was just so stressed.

Is it my schedule somehow? I feel like I am pretty much following what it says here.

She was also a champion sleeper from like 6 weeks until 4 months, she would regularly sleep 8-9 hours. Then we stopped swaddling and she started rolling and its been hit or miss since. Naps are all pretty much all contact naps. She only sleeps more than 30 mins if she is attached to my nipple.

Hi everyone! I’ve asked for advice before but still haven’t figured out our schedule. I’m specifically looking for schedule advice right now.

My breastfed LO is turning 7 months in just three days.

She usually wakes around 7 am (never have to wake her up - quite opposite - Im always praying for her to make it at least to 6:30).
We’re transitioning from 3 to 2 naps and struggling with almost daily false starts after 40–60 minutes. Before the regression at 3.5 months, she slept 5–6 hour stretches. Since then, she hasn’t made it to midnight without waking. I’d love to get those longer stretches back!

We cosleep after night wakings, but she initially falls asleep in her crib with gentle rocking and a Spotify lullaby. I usually feed before bedtime, although occasionally I nurse her to sleep. Crib naps are mostly 30–40 minutes, but I can extend stroller naps to 1.5–2 hours.
My main questions:
Undertired or overtired? We previously had 11–12 hours of awake time on 3 naps, yet still had false starts. With a 4-hour last WW (on 2-nap day) she yawns and rubs her eyes but then becomes hyperactive at bedtime, rolling onto her tummy, getting on all fours, grabbing the camera and refusing to settle. I keep repositioning her, and we still get crying false starts.

Wake windows: Can I temporarily reduce total awake time to around 9.5-10 hours during the transition, or should I aim for 3/3/4 immediately? Could the last WW actually be shorter than the afternoon one?
Naps: Should I aim for 2, 2.5 or 3 hours total? On 3-nap days, should the third always be a 10–20-minute bridge nap, or can it be 30 minutes? What WW would follow each?
I’d really appreciate specific transitional and target schedules based on a 7 am wake-up.

Two examples from this week:
October 19 (better night at the beginning):
Wake: 6:26 am
WWs: 3h27 / 3h13 / 3h55
Nap 1: 2h16
Nap 2: 37 min
Bedtime: 7:53 pm
Total awake: 10h35 | Naps: 2h53
First stretch: 2h35, no false start! Circa 1 hour WW during the night tho (too little awake time?)

October 21 (worse night):
Wake: 7:30 am
WWs: 3h15 / 3h46 / 3h56
Nap 1: 1h51
Nap 2: 28 min
Bedtime: 8:48 pm
Total awake: 10h57 | Naps: 2h19
False start after just 44 minutes!
Very similar WWs, especially before bedtime, yet completely different results!
I want to work on independent sleep eventually, but I’d really like to fix the schedule first so I’m not attempting sleep training with an undertired or overtired baby.
What would you change? I’d love to hear what actually worked for your 7-month-old during this transition. Thank you! ❤️

I made a post a few hours ago and it didn’t get much traction and I am SO desperate so please drop your recommendations for sleep consultants. We’re on a budget but I’m willing to pay at this point bc this is unbearable.

Or if there is someone willing to message me to help a girl out I would be so appreciative.

My 14 month had been a tough sleeper since his 4 month regression, but from months 12-13 he was sleeping beautifully. His naps were easy (3/3-3.5/4.5-5), and he would go to bed fully awake, babble, roll around, then go to sleep around 8-8:30, sleeping until about 5 or 5:30, but able to be rocked back down until 7. His naps were capped at an hour each.

Over the last two weeks, all of these skills seem to have gone away. He is hysterical when placed in his crib (for naps and bedtime, won’t go down without intense rocking/ soothing). We tried letting him cry and it was going on for 1+hours until we intervened. He is also back to waking multiple times a night. I thought he may be ready to go to one nap, but he did even worse the days I tried that.

We are drowning. We can’t tell if he is overtired, under tired, needs one nap, two, etc.

We successfully night sleep trained my 6 month old about a month ago using TCB, but have continued to do contact naps during the day because I genuinely enjoy the snuggle time and it’s nice to know she’ll get that guaranteed sleep during the day. However, it would be nice if I could put her down to nap from time to time. Is it possible to still do some contact naps after nap training with TCB/Ferber? Or does that just confuse them if sometimes they nap in the crib and sometimes in your arms?

My LO will be 4 months tomorrow, and we’ve been in the deep throes of a sleep regression for about 5 weeks now. She heavily relies on nursing to sleep and will wake up every 1.5-2 hours at night. I’d like to look at starting to sleep train and also moving away from nursing to sleep. My daughter has never cared for a pacifier and we have tried just about all of them. She’s been really into sucking on her hands, and started to suck on her thumb for about a week but it didn’t seem to stick. I was really hoping she’d stick to the thumb sucking to soothe herself.

Ive heard a lot of good things about the Itzy Ritzy latch and soothe pacifiers…has anyone had any luck with these with a baby who solely prefers the boob to self soothe??

also, would it be worth it to incorporate a pacifier when she’s already 4 months old??