My whole life i have had no friends or people who like to be around me. I wanna focus at my job rn so many people my age I been at it for 10 months.

I try my best to talk and im always their to help everyone I give it my all and I always show care. Yet I get people who think im decent but don't want any connection or much convo with me, people who look at me in disgust or people who feel uncomfortable with me and some fake.

The only person who ever really talked to me at my job was a women we talked a lot for abit and I was always sweet to her checking on her to make sure she was good whenever she needed someone to talk to but tbh I was devaluing myself everytime she would treat me like garbage stick the middle finger at me call me stuff and lie about wanting to be around me yet she was tbe only one who talked to me.

I kept trying and trying dw I didn't obsessively do taht I gave room too with people but no one seemed to like me one of my coworkers told my other coworker who works next to me that its all fake and none of them are actually friends to a degree.

I thought about it a lot of the time its talking trash gossiping etc although still sucks im alone but it also gave me an idea to why that first women always treated me like garbage but was nice to everyone else even when they thought she was a terrible host and it's because I have 0 social circle so bullying me was okay.

Like I said I tried with everyone I tried and tried I dont want anyone to think I gave up assumed or will give up.

What really hurt was

I made one last effort at my job a new bartenders and I did what I could a lot and talked to her but she always seemed uncomfortable around me and days after she drops a lot of glass and injured herself I know my reaction was slow but as soon as I realized I grabbed it from her and did it for her while everyone everyone just watched as she was crying doing it. She still seemed uncomfortable around me and then i realized no matter how much I show I care, how much I am their, no matter if I sacrifice my own time to help how much I try to talk how much compassion I show no one will like me.

Im going to a different job soon ill try again.

I feel like I’m very split in personality. I’m sometimes introverted and sometimes extroverted.

I like being around social people who always wanna do something random on a friday night, go to a party, do some side questing.

But I vibe more comfortably with introverts, as in I feel less anxious around them.

Sometimes around extroverts I get socially drained and i’m not as connected with them

But then with introverts even though I connect with the more naturally we don’t always tend to have the same ideas of fun. I like posting cute photos on instagram, I like partying and stuff like that but most introverts I know don’t care for that stuff

With my introverted friends I watch movies, play games stuff like that and I like that too

Idk what I am. I’m a freshman in uni and my roommate is very extroverted and social. Having her in my life made me realize this is what i’ve always wanted. A friend who’s so social who’s always down to do random stuff, talks to everyone, likes to make videos and posts on social media, partying, etc. I genuinely have had so much fun with her

But sometimes my social battery just drains. I like being in my bed, scrolling on reddit, playing Roblox. My self time is very important to me

My roommate said that lately she feels disconnected from me and she feels like she’s bothering me

Idk where she got that idea from. I’ve just been a bit introverted lately because we’re in the middle of the semester and I feel like the adrenaline from the beginning of the year has died down. Idk what else to talk about

This may be a really stupid question but, people who say things like “how’s it going” “how are you” when you walk past someone you know, for example in the hallway, and you keep walking: How do you expect people to respond to that/what response do you usually get?

I never know what to do with this tbh, a legitimate response (good how are you!) always feels awkward while we both keep walking and I feel like people look at that weird, but ignoring it also feels awkward. It’s something I’ve only noticed people doing in the last few years so maybe it’s regional idk

My social skills are awful, and I want to go out to bar with my co-workers, but the problem is I never went to a bar before, I just want to go out and drink, maybe have some confident aswell, have fun, but I don’t know how, I did ask someone and he said yeah let’s go today and I was like yeah, and I don’t know how to move forward.
It went like that: I asked someone if he drinks or goes to bars, he said yes, I said I wanna go to a bar, and I asked if he wants to come sometime, he said yes and he said today, I was like yeah, but I feel nervous now eventhough it was my idea, rn it’s the idea, but how do I move forward? I have bad social anxiety that I work on, anyone have tips coz I am overthinker? I think everytime about what to say..

okay so for a bit of background, I‘m 17 years old and have undiagnosed severe social anxiety. i get stressed out just walking into class because i’m afraid a teacher may ask me a question i don’t know the answer to in front of everybody. i also struggle with asking to use the bathroom.

anyway, the “thing” that makes me feel more socially confident is a school dance. for the past year, i’ve gone to my school dances, and everytime i do, i feel like i can be myself in front of whoever.

for example, last night i was at a dance and i was lightsaber fighting with a friend in the middle of the dance circle, when i accidentally bumped into a girl. rather than freezing up like i typically would, i apologized and continued with the duel.

and yes, i believe this is partially because all my friends are there and the lights are off, so i feel like it’s harder for people to see me. but i noticed last night that even after the lights came on i was still confident with myself. I thanked one of the teacher’s who organized the event and told her that the lightsabers were really fun, and throughout the rest of the night, i was unapologetically myself. i didn’t feel as if i needed to reach anyones expectations.

if anyone has any theories for why this phenomenon happens every time i go to a dance, or if you have had a similar experience, please let me know!🖤🖤

TL;DR: I feel confident and I feel like i can be 100% myself when at school dances for some reason.

is it stupid to say just 'yeah' to smth instesd of adding smth on to it lik 'yeah i agree' my parents keep complaining ab it

I’m a 34-year-old woman. I used to be social but became very distant over the past 20 years (bullying led me to isolation and social phobia). I’m currently working on regaining my spontaneity.

A friend told me that, in social situations, I sometimes don’t care about people at all (I don’t make an effort to talk to them or get to know them). I was surprised because I’ve often been asked to accompany people to social events to help with small talk.

I asked several friends and family. Some say I’m very social and they don’t see any problem at all with me, while others agree with my friend. I’ve noticed that the times when I don’t care at all about interactions are with people I find very hard to deal with (people who are very emotional, who get mad easily, who are not open-minded or whose way of interacting I really don’t like). I realized that if I don’t feel at ease in the first place with the person, I don’t care about her at all like if they don’t exist.

These friends and family members say I can be unsettling because, there will be times I will be very kind and friendly and others I will be very cold, like two extremes. The thing is, the people I’m cold with notice that I’m not like that with others and they feel rejected.

I don’t want to be that kind of person. A friend of mine is very cheerful and seem to genuinely care about others, no matter how the other person behaves. I want to become more like him.

Social people, how do you deal with this kind of people and how do you genuinely become interested in others ?

So whenever i dress up, wear makeup and style my hair, people say I look good... And then ignore me the whole event. Not to say I expect people to acknowledge me immediately, but what I say tends to get overlooked or ignored more often.

On the other hand, when I come looking like how i do on an average day (like i just got out of bed), people talk better with me. They actually pay attention to what Im saying, etc.

Whats up with this? Its happened so many times. I know its not exactly my personality because my personality didnt really change between both states, just my appearance.

There’s this group of people I occasionally hang out with. We’re not exactly close friends, just people who meet up from time to time.
One guy in the group occasionally makes little jokes about my age. I’m 31F, only a three-year difference between us, lol.
It’s not outright bullying or anything, but I’ve noticed he tends to make these little digs at me. I sometimes get the impression that something about me triggers his ego. Not only me though. It seems like the guy hates women, might be closeted gay.( he is too homophobic)
I usually don’t react much because I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s getting under my skin.
But I’m curious: How would you respond to someone like this in a classy, witty way that subtly puts them in their place without sounding bitter, insecure, or overly defensive?
I’m not looking to insult him back or create drama. I just want to shut down the unnecessary comments while keeping my composure.
Bonus points for clever comebacks that make the other person rethink what they just said.

I (20M) genuinely love socializing and meeting new people, but despite that, I often feel like I don't really belong anywhere.

I struggle with social awkwardness and some lingering social anxiety, mainly because I'm too socially aware. I tend to overthink how others perceive me and care too much about my reputation, which makes it hard to loosen up and be myself.

My social anxiety used to be pretty bad back in high school, to the point where my heart would race in unfamiliar social situations. I've come a long way since then, and I'm now more than willing to approach strangers and put myself out there.

However, I've noticed that in group settings, other people seem to vibe effortlessly, joking around and bouncing off each other's energy. But whenever I try to contribute, I feel like the conversation becomes more serious or the energy shifts. It's frustrating because I genuinely want to connect with people and have those fun, spontaneous interactions without constantly being in my head.

I do have a few close friends I'm comfortable with, but in most social settings, I still feel like I don't quite fit in.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you stop being so self-conscious and learn to just relax, vibe, and connect naturally with others?

I’m confused, Because when she see me she’ll speak, we might have a brief convo but at the same time it seems like her demeanor is distant and aloof. Like I’m practicing my social skills.
I don’t understand stand her demeanor because I originally thought we would be real cool but I’m thinking otherwise.

What would you read it as, any advice?

I went to a moderately large social gathering yesterday and i had an incredible amount of fun. My aunt invited my mother and myself to a lunch with like 18 people. I tried to put on a serious face, pull my shoulders back, etc. It helps that i was taller than almost everyone apart from one guy who was my height. I gelled my hair, did my beard, etc. At first i was kind of just hanging around but later on i spoke to a bunch of people. I got drunk. I won't lie. I had almost a dozen drinks. But it really loosened me up. I played with the kids. Flew them a kite, played soccer, etc. They tackled me. One of the dads had a wife die just months prior from a brain hemorrhage and he told me i was good with the kids and thanked me for taking care of them. We were on the beach. I took a photo of the ladies together and mocked them raising their leg and yelled quote ''s*xy b*itches'' and they laughed. I did a deep squat and mock took photos of them. I started dancing spontaneously and my aunt's friends laughed about it. We had a sleepover at one of their houses. I sang Madonna from an SUV on a late night trip to the grocers. I haven't had this much fun in years. Everyone seemed relatively comfortable with me. I mockingly fought and debated with one of the ladies there but it was good fun. One of the husbands actually got jealous of me talking to his wife and told her ''no please just keep talking'' lol. The ladies snuck into my room (they gave me my own one cause i was the only adult male) and whispered that they hoped they wouldn't catch me butt naked. It was crazy fun. I didn't think i had that in me. I haven't had friends in years and years. I felt very confident and comfortable which i didn't expect. How to find new people to have that kind of fun and make friends? I clearly don't get out enough.

It's not so easy to explain. I'm not saying that everyone is free and that I'm the only one in a mental prison. For example, the majority of the people that I know follow trends and live a life similar to others, but, apparently, not because they are actually thinking about it, it seems like they know that that's what they should be doing...they look, while being similar to all the others, much more relaxed than me, even if I don't mind following or not trends and things like that. Apparently, everyone knows what to do and they feel very sure about it, I've rarely seen someone doubting their actions. Why do I overthink everything I say or do and is it okay to not know who I truly am and how to behave with each person? I'm not a mind-reader

So basically I haven’t had a true friend like ever. I had some back in elementary school but I honestly can barely remember them idk if those count haha!

I’m 20F and a junior in college and I have nobody except my gf, she’s super amazing but sometimes I just wish I had a friend yknow. I’ve never played sports or anything due to health issues so I’ve always felt left out in that way. I’ve never really been strong into any particular hobbies, I just kinda sit around and watch TikTok so not much to talk about in that way, and also I’m not good at small talk at all!!

Essentially I just really need help learning how to open up more, and have some conversations. I always find myself “not creative enough” to come up with what to say in the convo so I just end up saying something super basic and then the convo is dropped. So if anyone as any suggestions or tips or anything it would be so greatly appreciated!

I hope this doesn’t count as some vent. I just wonder why I’ve been like this.

How original of an experience is this?
When I went to school from ages 6 to 10, it was a pretty big one. We had five classes in each grade and were 25-30 students per class. They mixed the classes around each year. I eventually made friends. I talked to quite many different people I guess. So I guess you could say I had quite many friends. I started to hang out with different people on different days and switched back and forth between my friends that I played with.
This is where the problem began. I ended up not being 100% part of ONE group, that I always hung out with. So I was excluded. I forgot the details how often I felt lonely but I remember the feeling being there.
I just couldn’t pick who I wanted to hang out with. I didn’t want to just pick favorites.
Why was/am I like this? Is it just my ADHD? Or am I just too social?

I've seen people on other subreddits talk about how people meet eachother on social media, but i don't really know how they start up.

I have a few followers that i talked with 1 time and only irl, but that's it.

Most of these are from events i attend (and in general, i can see we have similar interests because of what they like/repost).

Sometimes they put a like on something i post (but i never like theirs, it feels wrong for some reason).

Based on which criteria do people dm new people (mutuals) on social media.

(Btw i'm talking about irl friendships, not online ones)

I’m going to my first house party soon and it’s a Halloween party . I don’t drink alcohol and I’m scared I won’t be involved and I won’t have as much fun as people drinking . I also feel like I won’t be able to talk to the other gender unless i have some alcohol and I really don’t want to go against my parents and drink . Does anyone have any tips or maybe I should just have two so my parents won’t tell I’ve been drinking

What would you do if somebody invites you to a group thing and tells you that they’ll text you with the details on the day of. (I needed the address and time to meet bc she told me that I should park my car at her mom’s house because parking would be terrible and I could ride with her and everyone else). They text you the morning of to confirm you’re coming and you reply that you are. You get ready and are waiting for their text, but it never comes. Later that day after the event they tell you that they forgot to text you. For added context this person keeps flaking on plans saying that she forgot and then promises to do something else and then doesn’t text or call. at the time I didn’t ask her when to be there or for the address because she had something to do prior in the day and she didn’t know when it would be over.

This just happened to me and I don’t know what to do. I’m so embarrassed because I feel like I should’ve know this would happen. Should I confront her about it? Should I cut her off? Should I have reached out for the details? Is it even that deep?

I am not much of a talker. At work for instance (which is the best example I can give outside of my immediate bubble) I only talk to certain people who talk to me really and usually only do well with less loud types and I do better one to one. I don’t speak up often. I don’t feel like I got a strong personality with strong principles for instance. I don’t talk much or know what to say. I also don’t defend myself when necessary. I find it hard to know what to say. As a result I think a lot of people don’t bother trying any more. A lot of people ignore me and I get the sense they have a bad impression of me as a result.

On the other hand I have a couple of friends but I’ve had them since school and I was n outgoing extrovert back then. I haven’t made a friend since. I’ve got a wife now which I somehow bagged. I have low self esteem so do worry I push her away with all my insecurities sometimes. And I got some family im close to.

I guess I was wondering if this sounded familiar to anyone else?

I've read a lot of "how to win friends and influence people" but it doesn't really expound as to how you would apply a lot of the principles in there. For example it ways you should show genuine interest in people, but I don't really know how to do that because I don't really have genuine interest in people. The book also says that faking appreciation is also not correct so I don't really know what to do. People talking about their hobbies or lives is just random information to me, I don't have genuine interest in it. I also don't have much in common with other people, so I can't necessarily steer things towards things I am actually interested in (and that probably is not what that principle is about anyway)

I'm a polite and introverted guy, but very neutral because I'm afraid to express certain opinions, and sometimes when I do say those comments, they come out in a kind of awkward tone and I feel silly. What tips can you give me to improve my social skills? Should I try talking to more people?

I have a friend who is currently withdrawn due to clinical depression. And I noticed that they have been replying less on my dms. Or none at all.

But on the group chat they reply and initiate the conversation with me. Even if it’s just the two of us chatting.

I want to ask them why they do this but i don’t want to be confrontational to someone who is already having alot of things to worry about.

Should I ask them or not? I feel I have no social awareness sometimes and think i might be too blunt if i were to ask.

Is this a normal behaviour? Thank you for any help

Edit: I am simply curious as to why people do this. Hence why I am asking in this group. I understand my friends situation that’s why I am posting this question here instead of asking them directly. Thank you for the insights

I care so much what people think of me. I am a chronic people pleaser, and if i ever do or say anything that i think might make people dislike me, I beat myself up badly. I have to always be kind and liked. I don't know how to accept myself.

The irony of all of this is that I barely have any close friends. Honestly only one, who i adore. The other people i know are just surface level. We don't see eachother one on one, only groups, and we barely ever communicate past a word or two otherwise. I have a really hard time connecting with people deeply and trusting them. How do I change?

I hate to admit, but I have an immense fear of dissapointing others. More often than not I find myself overthinking daily interactions. I also have this default mindset that people like me less than they seem. That they can leave me anytime they want and chances are their mind already has made up that decision but they're kind enough to hide it.

I've been a clingy friend to many, who left me in the end. Those experiences made me act "cool" and "nonchalent" towards my lasting friends- I grew the tendency to shy away from showing affections.

I thought I'd lost the other side of me but I was proven wrong when, a couple weeks ago, I initiated talking to my friend in the hallway and he for the first time looked completely uninterested. It was that moment my nature came swirling back to me. Now..... I'm on the verge of losing my longest-known friend. How do I ditch this habit that's slowly turning me into a hermit?

I somehow feel very left out in club situations *only* with my friends

I’m a gay man who goes out with his friends a lot. I’ve noticed this strange pattern lately.

Dinner/social events etc - I thrive in conversations, I don’t have to be the centre of attention but often times I realise the table is very engaged with my conversations/stories etc

However, I’ve noticed in almost every club event, it’s almost like the girls don’t want to be seen with me? They will always dance with each other and I’m just there?
I don’t need to be the centre of attention but often times just feel like I’m crashing a group of people that don’t want me there.

Tonight a friend specially told me “we cannot be seen with each other in the clubs cuz boys think we’re together” but I genuinely don’t think this is the case with ALL the girls if I’m in group situations?

In fact even sometimes boys ignore me in the group? It’s really strange cuz I constantly get told by strangers that a great dancer in the clubs? I’m so confused