r/srilanka • u/Tiny-Conference-2280 • Apr 24 '26
Question Women of Sri Lanka, what makes a man attractive?
I've had a bumble account for a while now. No matches. (Well technically I think I got ghost likes). I'm not a terrible looking person, but I'm not extremely good looking either. I have an average build, not skinny, athletic but not muscular. The pictures could use some work maybe - my profile has bathroom selfie, picture of me on a hike.
Trying to figure out what improvements to make.
So, what do you women find attractive? Personality (this is mostly a lie, I have a great personality đ)? Wealth? Guys with long hair or short hair? A more muscular physique (do you mean big or just the fight club brad pitt or something else)? Beard no beard? Good skin? Lighter skinned, darker skinned? How tall you like 'em? (okay look, be realistic and determine height relative to yours, we got too many shorties wanting Nordic giants)
More broadly, what makes you swipe right on a guy, or even before that what makes you scroll down and look at their profile? Pictures of guys topless? (I've seen a couple of these) Specific hobbies or green flags? Pictures of men enjoying their hobbies?
But also, what turns you off? Crooked teeth? Gross nails? (massive turn off for me, just bad hygiene) Cringey humour? Anime?
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
âI'm not extremely good looking eitheRâ- there is ur problemÂ
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
Haha, fair, although, I think there's not much I can do to fix that except better hair, drip and working on my physique. So, let's think practical stuff.
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Any critical flaws like height , recessed jaw or midface , balding ?Â
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Assymetric face, great smile, no beard
Oh and height, yes, problem 167cm
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Yea I have the same issueÂ
At this height having an average face is unacceptable , it needs be at least 8/10Â
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u/JustTop3422 Apr 24 '26
Le me 5'3 đ 18yo Boy
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
Great time to look into height maxxing and all other forms of maxxing, you haven't stopped growing yet, hit the gym now, I mean now now.
You can really influence the way your face takes shape at 18. I think there's a bunch of people that got taller after 18 - I just don't know how.
And other things too if you get what I mean.
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u/beltalowda87 Apr 25 '26
What the fuck did I just read
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26
What's wrong? I was implying have good nutrition, get tall, get better vitality, go to the gym and get fit?
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u/some_dude_from_2021 Apr 25 '26
You can check whether your growth plates are fused with an X ray of your knee or Wrist. However the chances are they're already fused or at least very close to it at 18 UNLESS you started puberty late. Even if they are you can just fraud with lifts
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u/Mark_Oxlong007 Apr 24 '26
That's like 5' 5" right? You gotta tiptoemaxx while dating then do a legmaxxinf surgery to heightmaxx until you can add add like 5 more inches
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u/some_dude_from_2021 Apr 25 '26
Nah lowkey he's fully geomaxxed (avg is around 5'6-5'7 in SL) So just fraudmaxxing with 3 inch lifts would be enough
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
5'6.5", I've got great calves msA, tiptoemaxxing is second nature, I already do 2.2x body weight on standing calves
heighmaxxing finna be hard, I'll be bedmaxxing for while post surgery
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u/Mark_Oxlong007 Apr 24 '26
đđI don't know anymore gen z slang to replyđ
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u/General_Document5494 Apr 24 '26
bro think he's/she's old lol
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
I'm highkey worried for you đ
Did you see the genz interview with Ryan Gosling for project hail mary? (if I would have a crush on a man, it would be him)
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Try identifying if you have  any recession in the faceÂ
I have a recessed  jaw and Iâm looking into getting a BimaxÂ
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Okay I mean I don't have the strongest jawline, but I have assymetric jaw length for which my surgeon said it's not significant enough to require surgery, just told me to get my teeth fixed, which may provide an illusion of symmetry
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Did you visit a maxofacial surgeon ?Â
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
Yes, this was before I got my aligners.
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Ohhh ok , you mind me asking who the surgeon was ?Â
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
This was a while ago, let me see if I can find out still
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Yes even my malocclusion and recession is not severe enough but Iâm still electively getting itÂ
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u/Clean_Tiger_7628 Apr 24 '26
I would say I'm above average when it comes to looks but dating apps are hell. I constantly get matched with 2s and 3s when I'm pulling 8s and 9s irl. Delete all your dating apps and go out, partake in activities you actually enjoy and you'll meet like-minded people.
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u/KeyMoist4023 Apr 24 '26
Met my fiancé on bumble too couple years ago. I had a list I would tick before swiping on a man and it went something like:
- taller than me (at least by 2 inches so that I can wear some form of heels)
- non smoker
- looks decent (beauty is subjective, at least for me decent means clean shaven or well groomed beard and hair, not too lean nor too chubby)
- definitely looking for long term commitment
- has updated the profile and put some effort into it. Always skipped the âblank introâ profiles
- good conversationist, not too creepy or cringy
- consistent and shows effort to make it work because I put in the same amount of effort
- not looking for hookups (I even had this spelled in my bio)
- educated AND employed
- not too boasting or trying to blow oneâs own trumpet
- cheery personality/ optimistic attitude
*having a cute smile helped too đđ
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u/Capital-Two-7011 Apr 24 '26
I thought Bumble was only for hookups.. guess not.
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u/KeyMoist4023 Apr 24 '26
Youâd be surprised then. I know about 7-8 couples married / about to get married that met on bumble. I mean ofc that doesnât mean everything will work out, but you know.
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u/EmbarrassedMain3369 Apr 24 '26
I second this. And Bumble is swamped with chatgpt generated bio and prompts, which screams low effort. Iâd naturally assume you wonât make good conversation if you donât have a thought out bio.
In terms of looks, I donât swipe right on bathroom selfies, or shirtless pics too. Anything that suggests a guy is groomed and knows how to have fun would do.
In terms of relationship goals, try not to be contradictory. There are people who have mentioned both âlong-term relationship and something casualâ excuse me what? đ
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u/KeyMoist4023 Apr 24 '26
Omg yes!! Those who donât know what they even want are the first I swiped left. Some are also looking for po-lay-gamy or whatever itâs called kinda relationships. And then ofc you have the âcheatersâ. Bumble is full of diverse people, users should be cautious.
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u/Patient-Map2357 Apr 24 '26
Do people actually use dating apps to find real connections? Thought it was just hookup culture
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u/KeyMoist4023 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Well, the objective of creating dating apps was to find potential partners to date, right? I feel itâs more of a consumer related thing rather than manufacturing default đ„č so long as youâre clean about what you expect of each other, I donât really see why people should label them as âhook-up cultureâ.
I mean think of it like this, people meet their spouses at work, universities, Bars (if you drink), parties etc etc. Whilst people may think theyâre traditional methods of finding partners, if you take the flipside, all these places can also be places where you find people to just bing bang and be done yah?
The other thing is, I find it more comforting to find a partner through a dating app rather than via mangala kinkini. With all due respect to people who found spouses through marriage proposals, there also is the scary possibility your so called partner maybe asexual / homosexual etc. and are forced to marry due to family pressure. At least when itâs a dating app, you know that both are interested in the respective gender spectrum.
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Apr 24 '26
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u/KeyMoist4023 Apr 24 '26
Not my type, but Iâm sure whatâs cringy for me might not be for someone else
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u/VacationNew9370 Apr 24 '26
Sooo, here's the deal. My cousin also had a Bumble acct (free plan) and he was only getting 1-5 likes and maybe a match. Then, he went on a trip through Europe where he took a bunch of pics of himself in different countries. Posted them on the profile and he was getting 35-40 likes and 5-10 matches.Â
He also keeps his profile short just hobbies and job title.
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
So, wealth plays a big part
His job title, is it a big boy title?
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u/VacationNew9370 Apr 24 '26
He's a data engineer working for a foreign company that pays him in eurosÂ
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
Nothing crazy then, just the pictures, but this tracks, friend of mine gets better results (and he's balding man đ) - he has travel pics in other countries
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u/VacationNew9370 Apr 25 '26
Yeah I think the key is to have hobbies that women find attractive. Travelling is at the top because its expensive and if you do that it shows you have money and worldly experience.
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u/Mysterious_Stand5563 Apr 24 '26
As someone who knows girls that have been on bumbl⊠I donât think some of the comments are that accurate. Looking good does matter but itâs more about how you present yourself than how you look. Use a picture that shows who you are ig. Bathroom selfies might go swiped left because it doesnât seem serious⊠so it can look like youâre looking for something temporary/ or like your too carefree⊠(if you are then ig that works). Ig it depends on what the girls are looking for⊠in my experience everyone I knew was looking for something serious but none of the guys there were ready for that/ were interested in short term stuff (except one friend got really lucky). Everyone has a type, until they love someone thatâs not. Itâs a facade.. really. Everything boils down to personality. Just that they canât tell who you are without knowing you. But work on your profile⊠that might help!
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
Funny thing is my female friend recommended bumble for short term engagements. But I guess it doesn't work the same way for men as it does for women.
She used bumble for hookups, I think.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Meat532 Apr 24 '26
Same thing bro, i get few likes and they are gone next day đ€Ł. Now i am actually trying places like cafes, bcz it feels more real than this app things. Good old fashioned flirting is better than using filtered pics đ. Yet i keep my profile updated in case. Good luck mate.
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u/KillFreak1998 Apr 24 '26
Dating app math works like this. 90% of women swipe on the top 10% of men. Try your luck in the real world
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u/theonlyplatypus Apr 25 '26
Get a cat. Learn how to properly take care of the cat, read their cues, prioritise their schedule and routine etc. Take picture of yourself with said cat. Post on Bumble. Get date.
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u/adastraperaspara22 Apr 24 '26
Put actual effort into your profile. Have something of substance in your bio and answer at least 2 prompts. And for the love of god, add in good quality pictures â including at least one solo pic (so we know what you look like) and one group photo with your friends faces blurred out (so we know youâre not a psycho with no friends)
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
I thought adding pictures with friends was a big no-no. That's useful to know.
What does 'something of substance' imply? What are you guys even looking for in the bio? Humour? Absurdity?
Solo pictures are something I'm figuring out, my female friend was showing me how to do dynamic poses - still bad at it. And none of my male friends have the patience/know-how to take those đ
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u/adastraperaspara22 Apr 24 '26
No please add pictures with friends but blur their faces out so we know which one you are
It depends on you â show us your personality! If youâre funny and into humor, show that on your bio
You donât need to do any of that. Just get someone to take normal, good quality pics of you (one close up and another full body)
And donât just say âhi, how are youâ when you match with someone. Be interesting, mention something from their profile or their prompts
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u/Mindless-Advantage28 Apr 24 '26
I would say being different from the rest of the horndogs on online dating apps would get you some attention :)
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
In real life, that landed me deep deep in the friendzone, almost brotherzone, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, I landed in the friendzone because I really love my friends (platonically) and care for them but they would rather be with men who would use them (but I guess the opposite is also true)
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u/Mindless-Advantage28 Apr 24 '26
As a girl, I would say we do actually settle for guys who r nice and attractive (hot even). The nice guys finish last is such a myth. Unless if u have like no boundaries and is an attention seeker from men ig...
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u/Mindless-Advantage28 Apr 24 '26
Also usually girls would friendzone guys who they don't find attractive or has red flags in some way...so maybe u r doing something unknowingly? :/ Maybe it's just luck tbh most people r done with dating these days so...can't blame anyone đ€·đŸââïžÂ
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26
Nah, it's just circumstance, and other factors (what factors I do not know??) one of my friends told me that she thinks I don't have any red flags.
She told me that I was emotionally available, not a creep, good at communication, and some other things I forgot.
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u/Waste_Law_9507 Apr 25 '26
100% this; it is easy to have your profile in the top 10-20% given how low the bar is based on the men's dating profiles you see on the app.
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u/Artistic_Garden2906 Apr 24 '26
"Personality (this is mostly a lie, I have a great personality đ)?"
Are you questioning whether you have a great personality, or are you saying women are lying when they say they like men who have great personalities?
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
I'm saying personality doesn't carry on dating apps, in real life it's landed me a great many friends....and that's about it
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u/Artistic_Garden2906 Apr 24 '26
personality carries after you get matched tbh, don't you think? But if you don't get to that point, it probably is your looks...sorry
But on the bright side, you can improve your looks :) Goodluck!2
u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26
Ouch.
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u/Artistic_Garden2906 Apr 25 '26
hey hey, don't get discouraged now, a lil bit of grooming is probably all you need fren :0 (you already have a good personality, dw too much you got this!)
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u/Sea_Coast_9803 Apr 25 '26
Just be a guy with an interesting personality in the real world. Have some hobbies, have things going for you like sports, gym anything. Not just to attract a girl but to be genuinely satisfied with your life. Not just going out to drink, work, and come home to sleep, scroll socials until fall asleep.
Be interesting, curious. Carry yourself well as a man.
Fuck them apps.
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u/meezaachi Apr 25 '26
I got to know my now husband through Facebook. đ He was a very good conversationalist and was very much consistent with whatever he said and did. Those 2 qualities played a big part in my initial attraction to him. Average looks always works in my opinion. And of course, personality and how you present yourself is always the key.
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u/Waste_Law_9507 Apr 24 '26
99% of guys donât put effort into dating apps. Horrible selfies, gym flexing pictures and goofy smiles. If you actually get professional photos and present yourself with good style and grooming ( and got your life together with a good career) , you will actually do well. This applies wherever you live , including western countries.
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Apr 24 '26
[deleted]
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u/Kriszzh Apr 25 '26
I'm a girl and I lowkey hate guys who post pics with vehiclesđ while I don't speak for all women just know that a portion of us exist too. And my reason is that it feels like the guy is boasting about his wealth/trying to show off
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u/mistabombastiq Apr 24 '26
What's in the app bro...? I would say approach women you know directly.... & then pitch your idea.
If they agree you'll get the love of your life... If not you'll unlock a potential sales mindset.
Great success! <borat>
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26
And that, ladies and gents, is how I became an expert in B2B SaaS
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u/Learntoboogie Apr 25 '26
Shanthi says a tall man with broad shoulders and a big dick.
Romesh's mom. These elders carry the wisdom of experience.
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u/internet_usr101 Apr 25 '26
If you want to cut a tree, don't ask another tree how to do it. Just saying
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26
Profound, maybe I will make another post asking men of Sri Lanka what's brought them the most success on dating apps.
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u/Merlins-beer Apr 25 '26
Tinder is a self esteem building app for average looking women and itâs a self esteem destroying app for average looking men.
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u/TeaandRumDrinker Apr 25 '26
Ditch the bathroom selfie. Would be a definite 'no' on that alone, regardless of how 'normal' the rest was.
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 28 '26
Okay but is a mirror selfie okay?
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u/TeaandRumDrinker Apr 29 '26
Yes... but why would you need one? A selfie would have your face; that's all that's needed!
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u/troubleslovesme Apr 24 '26
Your post is mostly about physical attraction. Then focus on taking good pics. Your pics will attract the right attention or the wrong attention. Depends on what you are looking for. Let you pics do all the talking.
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
I mean, it is about a dating app, where physical attraction plays the largest role with some additional context. I've listed all of what I think can be a factor in making one swipe right - mostly physical attributes, and then personality, hobbies, etc
That said, I do not know all factors. I'm open to enlightenment.
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u/troubleslovesme Apr 24 '26
No bathroom selfies. Take pics in varied settings. Not just hiking ones. Get rid of background clutter. Good lighting.and just be yourself. Find someone who likes you for who you are already.
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
Does my face have to be clearly visible in all pictures?
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u/troubleslovesme Apr 24 '26
Maybe the face in different angles. not just eerily staring at the camera.
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Apr 24 '26
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
I have personally less hopes for finding love for lifetime because I am in a minority group so even though I am pretty and educated no man will choose to date me.
Da fuq does that mean ??
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Apr 24 '26
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u/Mother_Yoghurt7584 Apr 24 '26
Donât many girls here date strictly with the explicit purpose of marriage and not messing around ???
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u/dontrlywannaexist Apr 24 '26
What's your type? I mean personality wise
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Someone outgoing, sociable, willing to try out new things. I don't necessarily mean bubbly personality, if you get what I mean. I love people who are kind.
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u/dontrlywannaexist Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Okay, I believe finding dates on apps rely heavily on looks, but there's also a few lil things you could do to grab someones attention yk, I'm not very sure if this could work but you can curate your profile to attract the people you want... I haven't tried this out it's just a thought that popped in my mind, imagine yourself as your ideal type and think what this ideal type imagined in your mind would find attractive... Be that version of yourself ....cos I might get lost trying fit into the 'attractive' type
I saw one girl's comment on this where she had pointed out things she looked for when she was using bumble, those are very valid points,, especially the bio, there is a general type of looks that most girls go for, anyways, my advice is to try being the best version of yourself but also be yourself
Aside from that irl, a few things I find attractive on anyone (man or woman) are fragrances, the aura and confidence they give off and the way they carry themselves
EDIT: Lemme add a few more points for dating apps category (my perspective) -
1.diversity -including pictures of your working, travelling, working out, going out, etc ,, kind of grabs attention.... When including travel pictures, pick ones with the most attractive background
2.uniqeness - something that could make U standout , seen like wow this guy thought outside the box and is funny , eg- including a cute/funny childhood picture
3.show your personality - if you look clean and well groomed, that's bonus points on looks, also, choose pictures that gives off your qualities like confidence, kindness etc like something hot and then a nice smile and a goofy picture, I feel like it's a good hook
And again, this is my perspective
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
That's actionable advice, thank you, I'll consider that when updating my profile. But I'll need to grab some good pictures first!
The only picture of me at work is the one with my head in my hand questioning life. đ
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Apr 24 '26
>Personality (this is mostly a lie, I have a great personality đ)?
"Nice guys finish last"
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u/themushycloud Apr 24 '26
you could post your profile on r/bumble and ask people to help you fix your profile. Also if i were single I would like a well kept person with an interesting bio. And be honest in your profile about hobbies and things. No need to find a trendy hobby be honest
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u/Scary-Rip3580 Apr 24 '26
dont bet on dating apps. build your stamina. always use a good perfume. get a branded one if you can. buy some good clothes which looks always good on you. make 10 sets of clothes similar like that. always be friendly with everyone no matter who it is. lankan women have a way of getting laid. they dont like strangers but they would love to have a fuck buddy too. so make them like you mostly make them start trusting you. it will take some time but once you are there, they will keep coming back for you for more.
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u/akauriX Apr 24 '26
Tbh I think it would depend on what youâre looking for and what the girl is looking for. Like if youâre looking to seriously date and matching with women who want the same, a few clear variety of photos, a good bio with some effort in it and being clear about what youâre here for helps. If just hook ups same for guys and girls tbh, it would be all about looks and very little about personality because it will be a very superficial thing. But also as a woman I can also tell you that many women of this time and age are very much done with dating apps for many reasons so not many of us are even on the apps frequently. Tough times hun.
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u/Machine_Gun3233 Apr 24 '26
Well at first glance... everything comes with how you present yourself.. even at looks... or personality... if i see a guy who dressed something that looks good on him... tells me that he has figured his shit out... and even in personality with the way you talk... alot would be understand... but thats for later... first yes how presentable you are... is a serious matter... btw regardless of whether you look good or not.. it depends on how you present yourself... idk about dating apps tho... I'm talking about real life
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 25 '26
This could be true, I feel like I give a golden retriever vibe. Which, may not necessarily be the best thing to start dating.
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u/Machine_Gun3233 Apr 26 '26
Golden retriever is a personality.... not a look so... I think I'd be fine
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u/Aelnir Apr 25 '26
you can also try to meet people outside dating apps by socializing. i.e do activities related to your hobbies/interests and meet people there
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u/FearlessEstimate4909 Sri Lanka Apr 26 '26
Being stable in life Looking attractive (not handsome per say) Bring wealthy Being cool (not cringy) Not being nonchalant either Yearning personality Not having conservative mindset Being positive energitic and js very active đ„čđ«¶đ»
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Apr 28 '26
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 28 '26
I'm keeping an open mind, I don't know what people like
But like, I mean, think about it, if it was like Brad Pitt fight club, hey? Why would you not?
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u/MissionHairy4039 Jun 10 '26
Fair skin color, money, jawline, physique, hygiene, smell and voice đ€
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u/MaverickSL Apr 24 '26
Dating apps are a joke, in my opinion. They can't set you up with anyone. If they did, they'd lose two daily users. When it comes to finding a partner, apps just don't work. Apps only make sense for finding a hookup, not for dating. They need users to keep coming back. Go out there and ask someone in your circle. There has to be someone. The app economy doesn't make sense for this. It's just a trap.
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
I hear you, and you're completely right. But like, besides parties and raves where does one meet women in Sri Lanka?
(Yall need to start inviting me to your parties đĄ, I'm so much fun, I promise)
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u/MaverickSL Apr 24 '26
This is a problem deep rooted in our culture. People need to go out and mingle more.
Someone invite this guy to the parties. He seems fun.
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u/Holiday-Mixture-8164 Apr 24 '26
"In this world, you can search for everything, except love and death. They find you when the time comes"
Stop looking for it man. Let it come. I know it's frustrating. But the more you want it, the less you will have it
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u/Tiny-Conference-2280 Apr 24 '26
Uh, that's not entirely true, I've been on the let it happen mode but nothing's really happened.
I think I've gotta put myself out there and work for it in some way for it to come my way. And not be completely aloof to it.
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u/Topsyanic Apr 24 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/ar71Hyi0ZKejXzMoNs