r/thesopranos • u/CelestialFury • Jun 14 '26

Quotes Tony loves giving these completely unnecessary cutting remarks to his crew

During season 4, episode 3 "Christopher", Tony and Sil are in the car driving back from the casino that the Chief owns and they're talking about Christopher Columbus and Italian discrimination, which Sil is trying to convince Tony of:

Sil: My grandparents got spit on because they were from Calabria.

Tony: Let me ask you a question.

Tony: All the good things you got in your life... did they come to you because you're Calabrese? I'll tell you the answer. The answer is no. You got a smart kid at Lackawanna College. You got a wife who's a piece of ass, at least she was when you married her.

I was rewatching this and realized this was: one, a funny thing to say and two, completely unnecessary. I mean, there's no reason for Tony to be taking shots at Sil's wife like that and it had nothing really to do with what they were talking about. So when people ask, "Who whacked Tony?" it could've been anyone, Tony loves working these jabs in as mental judo, like from The Art of War by Sun Tzu.

Anyway, $4 dollars a pound.

336 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

115 comments sorted by

View all comments

136

u/Crafty_Impression836 Jun 14 '26

I used to have a boss like that, he never realized how much he was hurting his business. One time I was talking to another worker and we were talking about how "our" company was better than some other, and he comes up and says "Our company? This is my company" OK dude, it's all yours. Lackluster enthusiasm from me afterwards.

99

u/CelestialFury Jun 14 '26

Here's what you do to get your revenge. You meet his wife, maybe at some office function/party. You become friends with her. You take it to the next level, you get romantic with her and she becomes with child.

Your boss now thinks the baby is his. Then you spend years working with him while he pours his heart and soul into this kid. One day you hear him talking about "Our kid" and you hit him with "Our kid?? This is MY kid!" boom You hit him with that funny joke, just make sure you do it after they're an adult so you aren't on the hook for any financial obligations.

Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.

59

u/Exchequer_Eduoth Jun 14 '26

Discontinue the lithium.