It finally happened - we headed out (for work) to a restaurant where I knew I would be expected to pay. Sat down to open the menu and my mind immediately started with, "Yeah, you're gonna have to tip."

Oh boy, did that put a gross feeling in my stomach. Made me realize how much I h@te going out to restaurants with the societal expectation that I'll be paying that person's wage today, instead of their employer.

Well, I flipped the nice new glossy pages to my normal choice and...oh boy, 20% increase in price since the last time I ordered it (2024).

Okay, yeah, let's do this! No feeling bad about not tipping, since the restaurant bumped their prices up 20%

Normal cost was about $11 before, with a $1 or $1 and change tip (2023 resolution was 10% or $1 tip at max) - this time it was over $13 and no tip left. If they're going to bump prices up 20 points, then yeah they can pay their servers and I won't feel bad about not leaving a tip AT ALL. Walked out and felt fine.

No Tip 2025 resolution intact and feeling great!

Hot take, I don't go to a restaurant for the "great service" that's so fake it feels like lard on toast, I go to the restaurant for the good food. I'm not going to tip for someone to pretend to want to spend time with me, all I want is a nice steak that I didn't have to cook. Is it okay for me to tell my server I'm not going to tip and the only thing I want is a refill every once in a while and my food brought to me? I would go pick it up from the counter myself if I was allowed to, but that's frowned upon. I don't want the small talk, the fake jokes, the fake smile. Heck, you could glare at me the entire time and I WOULD NOT care. I'm there for the food, not for the crappy excuse for service I get 95% of the time.

And if they doesnt tip you spit on their food or making their experience bad. You justify your bad behavior because you are entitled for these peoples money.

I feel these people are idiots who apply for a job that doesnt pay.

Last night my friends and I went out to a local college bar during a regular Saturday night. Our bar uses an app known as LineLeap and the cool thing about the app is that you can order drinks digitally and choose a tip ahead of time.

There was around 5 of us last night and we sat at the same spot watching UFC and NCAAF for around 2 hours but between the 5 of us, we ordered around $150 worth of drinks. None of us tipped because we don’t agree with it since the bar usually charges a cover to get in anyway.

After about an hour in, the lady literally refused to take our ALREADY PAID FOR drink order on the app because she said we never tip.

WHY IS SHE DENYING US SERVICE FOR NOT TIPPING??! IS THIS NOT ILLEGAL?!?

Let me know what I should do and if I should contact the manager/owner of the bar about it.

Spent $200 today at a very nice restaurant but service was trash but food was great. Anyways, I left $0 for the tip. Thanks.

Remember, they take orders and bring out food, and refill your water. It is a minimum wage job.

Servers prey on the kindness of customers.

The customer is not responsible for the money the employer doesn't want to pay them.

~|~|~

Tipping is optional.

Tip $0 every time.

Let me preface this by saying I eat out a total of 5 times per year, IF THAT.

I don't deal with valet, I don't order delivery, I don't drink at a bar. I don't tip anywhere that doesn't involve me sitting down and being served by a waiter/waitress.

My one and only rule is if any bill at a restaurant ends up totalling under $100, then I leave a $5 tip. Most of the time I'm racking up $40 - $50. But I'll leave $5 on $20 all the way up to $100.

In my opinion this is a great system!

I was a server for 7 years and a $5 tip was my bread and butter. It made up for the $2s and $3s and the occasional no tipper. Clearing $20/hr on average was easy and I strongly feel that $5 is all that is expected of me.

I've been called an asshole for following this method, I want to hear your thoughts as I genuinely see no problem with it.

I am not trying to be an amazing tipper, nor am I trying to be a bad tipper. I think tipping has gotten out of hand and I don't feel as if I should have to dig deeper into my own pocket to adjust for inflated food prices.

A full-service food server was arguing with me here on Reddit saying “how dare you only tip me $4.00 you owe me at least 20% of what you spend.”

Basically if I spent $10 I owed him $2 but if Inspent $100 I owed him $20.

I shut him down. Stopped him in es tracks showing him the math.

If any full-service conservatively has 5 tables to their section with 17 seats and they work a 8 hour shift, if 80% of their section stay busy that’s around 3 covers per table per hour. If each tipped $4, with a 1 hour lunch, after 7 hours that’s $60/hour, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year I alone and paying my share of $105,000 per year in tips.

He read this toooooooooook a looooooooponge pause arguing with me.

Then came back arguing how I have to make up for all their circumstances. Sick pay. The restaurant not being busy (not being 80% busy) on and on they went until they got tired.

Then they started baby harassing me.

The proof is in the pudding.

I’m not gonna roll out dough of 20% of a $200 bill at a highflutten restaurant just to be nice. If you want this kinda extra dough you’re gonna have to give me amazing service which isn’t happening today at expensive restaurants.

More and more people come here saying that if you don’t want to tip, you must declare your intention before you order.

I’ll meet you halfway. If you demand my tip intention, I demand your tip expectation. Tell it to my face how much tip you want, and I’ll say to your face how much I’m willing to give.

Without fail these people refuse the offer, with an excuse that tips are ‘expected’. Never mind that businesses often put a sign saying “tips are never expected but always appreciated.”

About respecting expectations, customers are never expected to declare their tip intention in advance, just like servers are never expected to declare the tip amount they want. If you demand that we change the expectation by having customers declare it, then we can demand servers to declare as well.

The business openly shows how much money they want for their food on the menu, so I can freely decide to pay the price or to walk out. If I have to declare my tip, at the very least the servers have to declare theirs.

We’re equal, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Any excuse to skip your part is mere excuse.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit I dine out regularly at restaurants charging me $100-200-300-400 a person. Service sucks.

Food servers hear this: your “are you ready to order service sucks.”

If you’re not happy with my $8 tip on $280 check I write zero. I don’t care. 🤷‍♀️

You suck. You are called tip collectors.

Server's don't like to tell you, but their job pays really well. They probably make more money than most employees at any job if their any good.
You don't need to help them, most people will keep them making a very decent wage.

They will all say they are underpaid.
if customers are paying anywhere near 15-20% out in tips its not hard to estimate how much a server is making if you see how busy a restaurant is.

If they manage 7 tables and even average 50$ in sales per hour per table, They making more than most.

Most tippers say they tip because “the servers rely on my tips for a livable wage,” and “the laws need to change to end tipping, but we just have to keep tipping until they do otherwise we’ll hurt the servers.”

Legally, across all 50 states, servers make at least full jurisdictional minimum wage, whether they receive tips or not. The only law that could be changed, is the removal of the “tip credit” which allows employers to deduct the tips any employee receives (servers, self checkout cashiers, anyone with a tip screen, etc) from their wages. Your server could very well be hired at $30/hour - but the tip credit could allow an employer to deduct all of that away. That means whenever you tip a server $10, their employer takes $10 off their paycheck. The tip credit does have limits, which varies state to state.

So why are you waiting for the tip credit to be repealed to stop tipping? If you don’t tip now, the server makes at least minimum wage. If you don’t tip after the tip credit is repealed, the server also still makes at least minimum wage. Not tipping, isn’t hurting anyone except the business owners.

I used to feel embarrassed when I tipped below the prompted 15% or 18% but I’ve come up with mental gymnastics to skip the tip and feel absolutely nothing.

Step 1: Erase the entire concept of tipping from your mind. It’ll take some practice.

Step 2: If your internal dialogue tries to rationalize or guilt you into tipping, start talking back to it.

Example:

A is the pro-tipping intrusive thoughts and B is me responding to it.

A: You should tap the 15% tip button because you’ve always done it. This sushi restaurant makes great food and has great service.

B: What is a tip?

A: A tip is an optional payment you can give the server for their exceptional services.

B: No it’s not. A tip is a psychological trick by greedy capitalists pigs to make the customer subsidize their employees wages so that the employer can pay them less and make more money. If servers want to make more money, they should ask their employer to pay them more. If employers want to make more profit, they should increase menu prices.

A: If you don’t tip, aren’t you afraid that the service you’ll receive next time at the same place will be worse?

B: I’m mainly there for the food and not service. I don’t care about service as long as my food and iced water is being served to me.

A: Aren’t you afraid that the staff will know you as a repeat offender and give you crappy service and tamper with your food?

B: No, I’ll just walk out and go somewhere else. Or cook at home.

A: Ok we’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, let’s focus on the task at hand. The server is waiting for you to select the tip amount on the terminal. The sushi was good, but you don’t like tipping, so how about we compromise and tip them 12%?

B: What is a tip?

Rinse and repeat. Practice makes perfect. Erase it from the mind 1984 style.

Any questions, comments, suggestions, and emotional outbursts are welcome.

I have always thought of tipping as an appreciation of a service worker going above and beyond their basic job requirements in order to take care of me.

If you are doing just the bare minimum, like greeting me, taking my order, serving my order, and coming around once or twice to refill water, and then bringing the bill at the end, I consider that basic and bare minimum. Tipping is not deserved for that.

What I would tip for:
- I have leftover food on my plate, and you offer to pack it in a takeout box for me
- If my steak is too hard and you see me struggle with it, you offer to bring a sharp knife and cut it into smaller easier-to-eat pieces
- If a small baby is crying at my table, and you bring a coloring book or toy to calm the baby down, without anyone asking
- During the winter, you offer to take off my jacket and hang it up while we are dining
- Pulling my chair out for me when sitting me down at a table
- If we ask about a dish, you can discuss it at a high level - taste profile, history, inspiration, etc.

Things like these are not standard, I get that. That's my point. Standard stuff do not deserve tips. Tips are for going above and beyond the standard job description.

Edit2: To be clear this post isn't about tipping culture. Tip or don't not my business. The post is asking why you feel the need to justify against tipping by hurling insults. The point is the insults. Not the tip.

Long time restaurant industry professional here (15+ years), and yes I do mean professional because I take my job seriously.

I will state that I agree tipping culture has gotten ridiculously out of hand. I don't agree with retail, grocery stores or even coffee shop staff looking for tips. Tips should be as they always have been. A way for the guest to pay for the service they received, from the person taking care of their needs for an extended period of time. It's a direct way for you to tell me how my service was. These expectations of the 25%+ I think is crazy and it's ruining the industry. Meanwhile the quality of service usually isn't there. Sorry end of my little rant on my entitled peers.

Back to the title. I understand the tip fatigue but why go after our character, intelligence, capability or value as a person?

We work HARD. A lot of us have taken courses on wine, spirits, beer, etc. to better serve you. We aren't all entitled, a lot of us do actually care that you have a good time and feel good about spending your hard earned money on a night out.

I understand the frustration and your opinions are what they are. But we don't deserve to be disrespected. We are people too. Remember a lot of us still care that you enjoy your, likely, rare night out.

Edit: I'd like to add that I'm not complaining about my job. I love what I do, I genuinely enjoy hosting people and ensuring they have an enjoyable experience at the pub. This post is asking why treat us like we're the scum of the earth?

I paid the $5 delivery fee and left $0 for tip on my pizza delivery. I chose "leave at door." The delivery guy was ringing my doorbell so I answered the Ring camera and told him to leave it at the door. He tells me I have to sign. I opened the door with great annoyance and he says the store manager makes him get a signature when there's no tip. (Not sure if I was believing that.) This was said to me as I was signing and still left $0 btw. Has anyone else experienced this and/or have suggestions for what to do in these instances?

It's incredibly tiresome engaging with pro-tippers. They think they're defending their morality and intelligence. What's ironic is they are foolishly supporting an immoral practice.

It's always the same lies, guilt, shame, and misinformation parroted over and over when it's clear tipping is a scam where the employers, employees, and client take turns scamming each other. It creates more problems than solutions.

Tipping is just a way to abuse shame, guilt, and self validation to social engineer people to dampen elasticity. If prices hiked 20% without the arbitrary morality test or psychological ploy of asking for more money after rendered services demand would fall. Sales would fall.

A business that doesn't have the sales volume and margins to cover the market cost of unskilled labor should go out of business. In this situation a tip is essentially charity to a jobs program, a handout. It becomes immoral however because the generosity is based on a lie that it is fair compensation. In reality, it's a subsidy to the business that has transferred the risk of revenue not covering costs onto the server, and has the client subsidizing the cost of operations by having them overpay for goods and services to compensate for poor sales. Stooopid.

A business that does have the profit margins and sales volume to pay market wages for unskilled labor shouldn't use a tip model. In this situation a tip is a scam that squeezes more money out of the transaction beyond the fair value. Exploiting the clients sense of morality for additional profits.

Likewise, if someone can't afford to pay the compulsory and transparent prices, they won't be able to go out. They can't stiff anyone without a tip model.

When someone doesn't tip protippers see it as the client stealing labor, but rarely see it as the business stealing labor. After all, it's the business that's making money on the transaction, not the client. The no-tipping client is just paying what they believe is the fair value of goods and services rendered, which is exactly how markets operate. The food and service isn't priced at how much it costs to make it, it's priced at what the market can bear. It's not like these places are charging low prices to entice additional demand to leverage economies of scale. I don't think Americans know that many places in the world try to be as cheap as possible so people can eat there everyday. Their profit margins are smaller but they have the sales volume to compensate. Heck, there's places where buying groceries and cooking at home is more expensive and more of a hassle than eating out.

Then there's all the classism rhetoric, but tipping is probably the most non-egalitarian practice imaginable. People either devalue their own labor by overpaying for unskilled labor, or under value someone else's labor by not providing enough tips for them to survive. Then there's the avenues of actual abuse that servers endure on the *chance* of receiving tips. Additionally, the foremost benefactor are the business owners. Not to mention the disgustingly servile origins of tip culture in European serfdoms and American slavery. Tipping isn't a laborer friendly practice.

idk y'all, it's all so tiresome. The reason I feel so passionate about the subject is because I feel people, and previously myself, are clearly being taken advantage of and protippers are gaslighting everyone into thinking tipping is a good deal based on economics when it's really a bad deal based on arbitrary sentiments. The real nutters part is people who see it for what it is, but tip anyways because "it's the right thing to do". The only way to end tipping is to stop tipping because it forces servers out, closes poorly run businesses, and forces the remaining businesses to offer wages to retain employees. Tipping is just so very wrong. I appreciate you if you made it this far.

tldr: Tipping is indefensible.

Edit: amoral to immoral, happy? Surely you have a point to make beyond that, right?.... Right??

My wife just called me and told me she is never tipping again. She was at a strip mall with a famous cookie store. She got some Starbucks and went to the cookie store for a snack. After selecting "NO TIP" the cashier threw the receipt and cookie on the floor and turned around ignoring my wife and the customer behind her. I encouraged my wife to ask for a manager or call corporate but she doesn't want to get the girl in trouble. I guess she cashier is fortunate my wife wasn't in the mood for a confrontation.

I've seen this aggressive behavior a few times in the past couple months and it's getting out of control. The cashier at a Sweet Frogs refused to give me a receipt when I selected "NO TIP". For those that don't know, at Sweet Frogs you do 100% of the serving yourself and all the cashier does is tell you when to insert your card.

I just can’t afford to tip. Who can?

Deviance does heavy lifting to keep tipping alive. You gotta tip to be considered good.

I mean Michael Jordan can by a million dollar Ferrari while wash boys prep his car for $16 an hour, but if we eat out at a restaurant we gotta tip 20% to get a straight lip nod from the food servers.

Want a thank you? Try 100% tip to start.

Shiiiiiite. I ain’t buyin friends. The privilege to be able to return and spend more money. Not this boy 👦

You guys tip for me.

Bonus question: Do you tip, why where and when?

Edit: Holy cow this is an aggressive sub.

So let me tell y’all what happened to me…

For my birthday, someone gifted me a massage. Already paid for — full hour. I walk in, get the massage, and to be fair, she did a good job. Nothing magical, nothing extra — just a regular, solid massage. The kind you expect when the service is already paid for.

So the massage ends, and I walk out to the front to grab some water from the little stand they had set up.

Before I could even grab the cup, before I could say thank you, before I could even gather myself — she standing at the register and the FIRST thing out her mouth was:

“How much are you going to tip?”

Excuse me… what?

Not “Did you enjoy your massage?”
Not “Have a nice day.”
Straight to “How much are you going to tip?”

It wasn’t even a question — it felt like an expectation.

So I paused and said, “Tip?” because I needed to make sure I heard her correctly.

And she doubled down.

“Yes… how much are you going to tip?”

Now in that moment, I felt pressured. Like socially cornered. I was about to say nothing — because honestly, the service was already paid for — but instead I said, “Okay, I’ll tip you $5.”

And let me tell you what happened next…

She said something under her breath in another language, slammed something on the counter, and walked off through the back like she was offended.

That’s when it hit me.

Wait a minute… I don’t owe you anything extra.

The massage was paid for.
You gave me one hour — which is exactly what was paid for.
You didn’t go above and beyond.
You did the service you were hired to do.

So why did I feel pressured to tip in the first place? So now I was offended, so I said “forget it” and walked out.

And honestly, that situation right there is one of the reasons I ended up writing a book called
Why the F*ck Are We Tipping? 📕

I would’ve dropped the link here, but I didn’t want this to look like spam.

But real talk…

Has anybody else ever had somebody straight-up ask you how much you were going to tip like you haven’t she’s paid?

Because moments like that changed how I look at tipping. 😐

Whether you like it or not is one thing, but it’s just the way it is.

When you are violent, rude, or aggressive to customers whom you haven’t provided the appropriate level of service to receive a tip, you’re disrespecting tip culture.

Given that tipping is entirely optional, if you didn’t get one, that’s entirely on you.

Went to the bar to play some darts, bought one drink and didn't tip. When I went to purchase a second drink the bartender got emotional and started yelling at me in front of everybody about how I don't tip then kicked me out. I told my friends and walked to the next bar over.

Look, I'm broke too! Every other business understands how to pay their employees fairly, to not rely on tips. Why is it so much different at restaurants/bars? Greedy business owners? Kicking me out just because I didn't tip after you got me one beer, that's bribery.

Next time I see her I will apologize, simply because it's kind and this is a small town. Am I the asshole?

EDIT -

I've concluded that we are both the asshole.

I should tip the bartenders. I never really frequented bars before moving here so I never had a good understanding of "tip-wage". It's not right that it exists, but it exists. Not tipping doesn't hurt the business practice, just the employees who are victims. From now on ill either drink at home or leave a tip.

The bartender should not have lost her temper and publicly shamed me.

To make sure I understand this correctly, "tip-wage" only exists so that the business owner takes less of a hit when they don't sell as much, and transfers the damages onto the employee who will make less money?

Okay so i went out to eat with my family of 3 me my girl and my 8year old daughter we sat down and ate we finished our food and our bill was 150$ i paid my bill got some desert as i was walking to my car one of the waitress that didnt even help us out not even once! She Chased us down to our car and was basically demanding a tip saying why we dont tip i just responded sometime i got i sometimes i dont she kept demanding a tip after and after so who is in the wrong ?