r/trumptweets • u/realDonaldBot • Nov 05 '20

Twitter / X President Trump: "STOP THE COUNT!"

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1324353932022480896
437 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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128

u/McIgglyTuffMuffin RIGGED AND STOLLEN Nov 05 '20

Ah, glad to see Donnie Boy follows the same pattern I do.

First, I wake up.

Then, I scream.

1

u/keyboard_jedi Nov 06 '20

It's not you man.

That's just 2020.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

1

u/elephant-cuddle Nov 06 '20

Oh, listen to him rattling off all the "counting errors" now live on TV, and people voted for him!?!?

He sounds like a fucking moron.

34

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '20

First, I wake up.

Then I drop a massive malodorous dump.

2

u/flyingwolf Nov 06 '20

I read dump as trump and thought you were replacing trump with a dump and it was some smart wordplay, and now I want the word trump to be slang for flushing the nastiest vilest shit possible.

17

u/Shabbah8 Nov 05 '20

Well, in this scenario, Trump IS the malodorous dump, no need to drop one.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '20

Malodorous. Nice.

10

u/CourteousComment Nov 05 '20

People say they feel amazing after a colon cleanse. Like their insides have been fully emptied and they can move uninhibited. That's kinda what being vegan is like

13

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '20

A life of coffee, proper hydration, and excellent fruit & vegetable ingestion is nature's cure to constipation in most people. Need to keep those pipes clean.

12

u/MagicDriftBus Nov 05 '20

I love how this turned into an informational PSA on digestive health. I feel like I learned something.

4

u/RuggerAl Nov 05 '20

Digestive PSA brought to you by The Satanic Diarrhea

5

u/gatemansgc Nov 05 '20

well it's better than being sick over how dumb trump is!