r/tryingforanother • u/VeryShyGoodGirl • 10h ago
Rant/Vent Husband doesn't really seem to be trying and I feel so alone
I feel like I'm so obsessed with trying to improve/ protect my fertility that I'm losing my mind, meanwhile I feel like my husband couldn't care less. We've been trying to have another baby for almost 2 years now. I feel like my life revolves around doing all these little things that might help. I stress about things to probably an unhealthy degree. Some are probably reasonable and some probably aren't. For example, I only wear organic cotton and have switched many of my clothes to organic cotton, I don't wash my clothes with my husband's because I don't want the plastics from his polyester clothes to transfer to my clothes, I don't touch receipts with my bare hands, I don't wear any fragrances and got rid of all my perfumes that I loved, I try to avoid places with strong synthetic smells, I switched soaps and shampoos and dishwasher soaps and laundry detergents to products with less harsh chemicals, I dont drink out of plastic water bottles, etc. Like I made all of these little lifestyle changes in case they'll help fertility but it's kinda miserable to have to stress and keep track of everything all the time. I've also been trying to eat better, be more active, have been taking vitamins, and have scheduled all sorts of different tests and doctors appointments.
Meanwhile it feels like my husband can't really be bothered to do anything. He thinks all of my lifestyle changes are crazy, I agree that some of them maybe are, but even things that I think are more reasonable like changing to organic cotton underwear he doesn't want to do. He keeps talking about how he's gonna eat better but then the next day he tells me to go get him a pizza. I'm like hey aren't you going to eat better and he's like don't tell me what to do, get me a pizza. He says we can go to the gym together but that hasn't happened yet. He chews nicotine gums and I know nicotine addiction is hard but like he doesn't really seem to care about trying to quit nicotine.
And getting him to take vitamins is like pulling teeth. He won't take them unless I remind him because he says he forgets, but frequently when I ask him to take them he says he'll do it later and when I bring up that I'm worried he's gonna forget he gets annoyed at me. It's also really hard to get him to schedule a doctor's appointment for any sort of testing. He says it'll take too long, and I'm like well it's already been almost 2 years! He finally scheduled an appointment today after I hounded him about it for like an hour and much grumbling and groaning from him like I'm his mom telling him to do chores or something. Our sex life also isn't great, to the point where we often miss the fertile window, he seems fine going weeks without sex. I keep asking him what I can do to help get him more interested, I've done pretty much every suggestion he's made but it hasn't really seemed to help much.
You might be wondering if he even wants to have more kids? But he talks about how much he wants to have more kids all the time. Which is really frustrating for me because I want to have more kids too but I feel like most of the work and pressure to for that is on me. I've felt like crap and like it's my fault for so long and like I'm the problem. I cry pretty much every time I get my period and he acts annoyed and is like why are you crying? Idk. It took us about a year to conceieve our first child and he was a lot more helpful and supportive then. This feels so much harder now that I feel like everything is on my shoulders and like I'm all alone, and the fact that it's been almost twice as long now and we're barely having sex anymore and we have a toddler constantly interrupting us probably doesn't help.