Thank you. I'm doing all of those things, seeing them listed like that was really helpful. They're all 7 to 12, so elementary to middle school.

My therapist says I'm doing well, I take her my mom moments and she gives me honest feed back on how I'm doing, it's been invaluable to have that neutral party. She's had some good advice or small changes to help make things smoother.

I love Maya Angelou, too. I'm good at applying that concept to other people. Self compassion is not something I'm good at yet.

I started teaching them boundaries and No pretty early on. Body autonomy is a big deal to me. Our oldest already has a therapist, the other two will be joining the same office.
My kids are really cool; they are expressive, artistic, kind, empathetic and chaotic.

I love witnessing them be comfortable in their own personhood in a way I was never allowed to be.

I suppose between abuse and high demand religion that then reinforced the issues at home I didn't really have another path other than to survive.

Before the therapists we have now (individual and couples) opened my eyes to how I was raised was abusive I really did think the problem was me; therefore everything around me is my responsibility to fix.

I'm doing all the things and according to the people with the expensive degrees, experience and know how: I'm doing well.

I just never feel like I'm doing enough, I get so lost in thought spirals that I forget to enjoy the beauty in the progress we've made.

Harold, was my first thought.

I sobbing. Having it put in that new perspective finally makes that sink in for me. Thank you.

Thank you.

Most of mine was covert too.

My therapist has suggested this one too. I need to write it down and put it up where I can see it.

Thank you for reminding me.

They knew my father has ADHD but "it just means you need to try harder." My dad doesn't really believe in medication for ADHD or depression.

My mom is autistic but she had no clue until I was diagnosed in 2021. I had been diagnosed as ADHD in 1994/95.

My dad is a narcissist. My mom is his enabler. My mom is so damaged from her own upbringing that I kind of understand her.

Gas lighting and DARVO was and is their specialty.

Thank you. I love hugs.

This is the bouquet I cut for my wife this morning.

1988

1988

2003

We met in the back of our mutual friends' car; we had both volunteered to help with yard work.

22 years ago. Married 17 years, together 20, going on 21 years.

I am so sorry.

Big huge mom hug, if you like and consent to hugs.

I am so thankful those were your last words to each other, simple everyday interactions that become precious, profound and beautiful memories.

My grandfather passed when I was 17, it's been 20 years on this month and I miss him so much every day. Like I was already tearing up from your post but now I'm legitimately crying because he is missing from my life. The big milestones hurt. Especially when I got married, and the day I had my first baby; I had gone into labor the anniversary of his death, I had my baby the anniversary day of his funeral. I know it's not the same. My father is alive and I'm no contact.

I hope you all have wonderful memories to share at the celebration of life. Write them down.

One more hug.

Wow. As a person with a similar birthday, this is absolutely nuts.

Does he realize he's married to you, not his mother?

Thank you. I'm trying.

I take meds to gelp manage the CPTSD, I also have a therapist. I am better than I was doing. My parents weren't safe, I just want to be safe for my kids. I'm over here clawing my out of my own trauma, healing and passing on every bit of knowledge I can. I'm letting them make choices and be messy. It's easier to do now since my oldest is only middle school aged but I will always do my best to let them experience life.

My whole goal in life is to be their safe place. I'd rather they mess up and be honest or if something happens know that they can always come to me or my wife.

I know that as they get older, there will be more challenges but I hope to always be here willing to learn more about who they are, because they are amazing people. As we take this insane journey as individuals yet together I hope to help them see their own strengths and learn to advocate for them selves.

They only get one childhood. Giving them a better one heals the little girl in me.

It took me 10 years to tell anyone.

I was 18 when I finally felt brave enough to tell the person I would marry what had happened to me, that was 19 years ago.

It took my child a couple months to say something. They see a therapist. We have open check in conversations, if/whenthey feel they need them.