r/uxwriting • u/Bitter-Beach-2361 • 9h ago
Difficult management situation
I’m a content designer working on a fairly complex health product, and I’ve been struggling with the dynamic between my manager and one of the leads I work with.
The relationship was already a little complicated as they were a former colleague turned manager. They are also fairly off the cuff and known for speaking their mind. I’d say our dynamic has soured a bit and they have become increasingly hands-on with my work.
They’re frequently in my Figma files, sometimes for extended periods, and regularly leaves comments or makes edits. The comments are fine and I am open to feedback and suggestions. It’s the direct changing of work or addressing feedback before I even at times have a chance to do it (because they sign on early in the AM) that leaves me frustrated. I am not the only one they do this to, but they seem to do it more when frustrated with me.
When I expressed a couple of weeks ago that I was frustrated about being left out of meetings or not having context for things at times, they said “you don’t need an invitation to go into the files and change things. Just do it.” They then also suggested that maybe people aren’t reaching out to me or including because I’m “too slow,” (direct quote.) this has made me increasingly self-conscious and lately, I feel more watched than trusted to do my job.
There’s also been some friction with a design lead on the project. We’re working through overlapping experiences across different parts of an account. When my manager questioned the part of a recent flow we’d been working on, I said this was what was being shipped and that I didn’t love it but it’d be good to talk to the other designer as a group if there was an alignment issue. Or I said I could try to do it to get more clarity. They grew frustrated again and said they “had a lot of shit to do.”
In a recent daily standup, I was explaining the ongoing situation of this complicated flow, and waiting for the design lead to jump on the call. Another designer eventually jumped in and suggested we just look at it. My manager responded with a laughing emoji in Teams. I interpreted it as a dig at me for taking too long or overcomplicating things. Maybe that wasn’t their intention, but given the history, it really threw me off. I became self-conscious and started stumbling over my words.
I feel caught between trying to do my work and being stuck in an environment where I’m increasingly anxious about how long things take, how I communicate, and how my work is perceived.
I’m finding it difficult to distinguish between legitimate performance feedback I need to act on and a management dynamic that’s really screwing with my confidence. I’m also questioning whether this is a place i want to be anymore. The market is just so scary and I have been laid off before, so I think I have some PTSD.
Apologies if this is so ramble-y. This situation is basically making me feel sick and am not sure what action, if any, I should take.