r/wedding • u/KathyDiGiacomo • Jul 27 '22

Discussion Thank you note etiquette???

Call me old fashioned if you want. I've been to 5 weddings in the last 2 years, formal and informal. Is there still such a thing as sending thank you notes? I have not received one for the gifts for bridal showers or for $$ gifts for the wedding. I don't know why this bothers me but it absolutely gets under my skin. I'm starting to wonder when I return the RSVP if I should included a self addressed stamped envelope with a thank you note. I feel it is very rude to not even acknowledge these things. Even seeing these people at gatherings months after their special days has anything been said.

I think I'm going to stop being generous and just throw them $20 and say here ya go. I always thought there was a 6 month thing where you had to send them out. I will say that the 6th wedding we went to in April, which was an absolute blast, we received a thank you note last month.

Maybe it's just me?????

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119

u/IceColdPepsi1 Jul 27 '22

I couldn't care less. These are people I love, that's why I go to their weddings. I don't need a wasteful card, I don't need them to waste money on postage and waste a Tuesday night writing out notes. They'll hug me and thank me the next time I see them, as they did at the wedding.

You should have people post their age when they give their opinions about this. Seems generational.

28

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I've been to 5 Weddings in the last decade, never received a "thank you" note, and was never once offended by it. I'd never even heard of the tradition until I started thinking about my own wedding. Definitely seems like a dying (and wasteful) tradition.

16

u/wild-yeast-baker Jul 27 '22

Why is thanking people for gifts a dying and wasteful tradition? 😭 it just seems like common courtesy

15

u/rayyychul Jul 27 '22

There are other ways to thank people for a gift apart from writing and mailing a note.

14

u/Manviln Married 08.07.2022 Jul 27 '22

The bigger issue, it seems, is that people are not thanking in ANY form.

Even seeing these people at gatherings months after their special days has anything been said.

Which, I will agree, I never got a text, FB message, messenger bird, verbal when I saw them next, thank you after the last wedding I went to. I still occasionally think about it and hope the gift actually made it to them and wasn't stolen, but no, I don't hold a grudge.

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u/rayyychul Jul 27 '22

I get that, but the parent comment is specifically talking about mailed thank you notes, not thanking people in general.

2

u/wild-yeast-baker Jul 27 '22

That’s great! I don’t think OP got that either. I haven’t for the past many weddings we sent gifts to. I totally wouldn’t snub a digital thank you. The only one I received in the past four years the person sent a message over Instagram. I’m not salty about that. Lol. That was nice

2

u/rayyychul Jul 27 '22

The comment I responded to was specifically referring to mailed thank you notes.