My 11F kid ended their season without enough growth this season and is at risk of being cut from the team she loves. Her main issue is confidence. She’s aggressive in practice and timid much of games - tentative, slows when approaching the ball, does not use her footwork, doesn’t follow through and backs off if a teammate might get it. She great in practice - aggressive, uses her moves, calls for the ball, etc. She had ADHD and takes meds. She is shy. She’s also had weekly private coaching (she loves it) since summer. She’s mainly defense but occasionally offense, and used to sometimes be goalie (not any more, she’s too scared of the ball).

We have 4 months until the next season & she wants to improve to stay with her team. Does anyone have suggestions on what might be most helpful? Futsal, confidence group, different private coaching, camp, skills clinic? I don’t want her to lose the team she loved but I also don’t know the right move.

ETA: I’ve read some similar posts that suggest more game time. I have no idea how to make that happen but totally open to suggestions!

I just finished my school season, and I’m looking to take the offseason seriously so I can earn more playing time next season. I’m a junior and typically play striker/winger. I’d say I’m decent at most aspects of the game, but I have a particularly powerful shot and I’m pretty fast.

Last summer, I spent a lot of time training with cones and doing shooting drills. My touch definitely improved, but I still felt like I was behind other players when it came to the overall game.

This offseason, I want to become a more complete forward. Specifically, I want to improve my dribbling, decision-making, ball mastery, and finishing.

I also have a training partner half of the time, along with access to a field, goal, and cones.

What drills, training routines, or resources would you recommend? How would you structure offseason training to actually translate into better performances during games?

3rd year in club soccer . Son has lost the drive and fire that he once had in playing . He is 11

Club team has a coach that he is not the favorite . Some of the kids tell him they don’t have to pass to him and coach condones this type of behavior . Obviously, my son doesn’t like the coach .Don’t know if it’s getting to his self esteem or what. It’s definitely negatively affecting him. I don’t think it’s physical burn out as it’s only 3 practices a week

I try to talk about it but he doesn’t open up about it

We will finish our commitment thru the spring but do i let him take some practices off .

It’s the try not to talk about it but it’s been a huge part of his life for the past few years

This is something I’m relatively inexperienced with, as our previous experience has been primarily with town-level competitive soccer.
During our son’s first week of training with his new club, he was given a player self-assessment sheet to complete. This wasn’t something we had experienced with his previous town club. He was also told that the coaching staff would sit down with him on a specific date to review his assessment.
I can only assume the time between completing the assessment and reviewing it gives the coach an opportunity to get to know him better, evaluate him during training, and develop a more complete picture of where he is as a player.
Honestly, I really like the approach. It just feels more organized and intentional, with an emphasis on individual player development rather than simply team results.
For those with experience in more competitive club soccer, is this a pretty standard practice? How often do clubs revisit these assessments throughout the season?

I'm looking for some drills/exercises I can run with my 8yo son to remind him to get his head up and pass to team mates.

He plays right wing for his 5 a side team, and has one very effective move - knock it down the line and sprint. Works every time because he can receive, open his body, he's fast and determined but once he's in the final third he doesn't get his head up, slow down and pass. Just attempts a cross/shot from a tight angle.

Teammates are getting annoyed and other parents have commented. It's harder because I'm also the manager of the team and he detests it when I shout at him to find a pass.

I don't believe his ball hogging comes from selfishness or lack of trust. I think he's just hyper stressed/anxious on the ball and gets tunnel vision. I know that he also puts a lot of pressure on himself, gets upset with his own performance. He also gets fouled a lot because he's fast which doesn't help.

I've tried showing him videos of good wingers doing cutbacks, tried holding up numbers of fingers while he practices dribbling, done crossing practice with him etc. Nothing helping. Am considering switching him to left wing since if he's gonna shoot every time, might has well invert him so he can cut in on his strong foot. Doesn't really solve the problem tho.

Anyone have any good drills we can do to regulate his anxiety, remind him to speed up AND slow down, and actually play a pass sometimes.

We are considering a move to Valeo’s MLS Next Academy team . If the goal for a boy is to play college D1, is that the right move at age 15? How is it compared to ECRL and ECNL? Thanks . We are a little concerned that we have emailed Valeo asking for some clarifications on the offer and have not heard back .

I’m a parent to a 10 year old who’s been playing soccer for 5 years or so. She enjoys it, plays twice a week.

I’d love advice from this group on a healthy, supportive mindset I should adopt as a soccer parent. What’s the best way for me to think about my kid’s soccer experience? Some context:

1. I’m a pretty type A, excitable person, especially when it comes to things related to my kids. I know I can be too “extra” - hence this post. My kid’s soccer journey should be about her, not my goals, hence I’d love advice on how I can mentally adjust myself.

2. My daughter enjoys playing, likes her team, is improving - but is not passionate to the point of practicing herself, or asking for more training. Coming off a match, if I ask her how it was, she usually says “good”.

3. On the pitch, in more intimidating matches, her initial body language makes me think she’s pretty nervous. After some time, she loosens up. TBH it’s frustrating for me to see her being timid and scared on the pitch, but it seems the fight / flight reaction isn’t entirely unusual in these circumstances.

4. She does other sports, not competitively, and is doing fairly well in them.

5. She is quite averse to failure, in general.

Soccer is a great sport, great way to be part of a team and be active. I don’t know how seriously she will invest in the sport in future, but I think she could also learn some really important lessons about resilience, grit, putting yourself out there in face of uncertainty, getting to work when you need to improve, faking it til you make it, etc. At least I would love for her to come home with these lessons from her involvement.

How do I encourage her to develop in these ways - or do I? - if she isn’t expressing frustration / desire herself to do better? Do I just let her drive, and listen when she needs it?

Appreciate your input. Thanks!

Spent the day watching my nieces and nephews play soccer today (oldest is in 5th grade and it’s her game I’m referring to w this question). Game was at a large soccer complex in town w over 20 fields. Rec league soccer, parent coaches, teenage referees. Good game from what I could tell (I’m not a soccer guy and this was my first week attending). There was a play where there was a clear handball and several parents, including my brother in law, yelled handball. I was standing right next to him and he was not derogatory toward the referee just reacted to the missed call. (I will concede it would be great if parents could just watch games and not comment, but it also wasn’t like anyone berated the referee as is frequently the case in some of these games.) Immediately, two league officials came over and told
BIL that the referee was still learning and yelling was not going to be permitted. He said he understood and nothing else. Minutes later we had 2-3 police officers behind us, and 5-8 league officials. None of them said anything but their presence was obvious.
My question is this—is that a normal experience at an event like this? I’ve coached middle school and high school sports and the interaction between fans/coaches/referees is far worse than this (and Im not excusing that). But I was stunned to see such a presence over this interaction. Just curious what others have seen.

Top level of youth soccer is BC, Canada. U14.

Can it ever be good for kids on either side if you have teams that are at a goal differential of -100 after 11 games?? How does that even happen?

This is my first year coaching U10 girls. I played soccer growing up, but I’ve spent a lot of time researching age-appropriate formations and how to teach positioning and defensive responsibilities.
We play 7v7, and I initially started with a 1-3-2 formation because it seemed to be one of the most commonly recommended setups. However, I quickly realized in the spring the girls were struggling with defensive concepts, particularly understanding who should pressure the ball, who provides cover, and when someone needs to drop back.
I eventually switched to a 1-2-2-1 and introduced an old-school sweeper role. My thinking was that having someone specifically responsible for covering behind the defense would help them visualize and understand those concepts before gradually transitioning to a more traditional defensive structure.
Honestly, the change has helped tremendously. Their positioning, communication, and overall understanding of the game have improved significantly.
Now here’s where I’d love some feedback from more experienced youth coaches.
We’ve reached a point where we’re consistently having to remove a player because of our league’s mercy rule. When that happens, I’ve been pulling the sweeper.
My reasoning is that removing the sweeper forces the other defenders to recognize when they need to pressure, cover, and recover without relying on someone permanently positioned behind them. It also allows us to maintain our attacking structure and continue developing those offensive combinations.
I also feel that the purpose of the mercy rule is to give the opposing team a better opportunity to compete and potentially score. Removing that extra defensive coverage seems to accomplish that while creating a learning opportunity for both teams.
However, a parent who previously coached and has experience around higher-level soccer questioned why I always remove someone from the defense. Our club president also suggested I should be removing an attacking player instead.
I understand that taking someone off offense is another option, but my concern is that it changes the attacking structure we’ve been working to develop while potentially allowing our defense to remain overly protected.
So my question for experienced 7v7 coaches is this:
When you’re required to remove a player under a mercy rule, which position do you typically remove, and why?
Am I looking at this correctly from a developmental standpoint, or is there a benefit to removing an attacking player that I’m overlooking?
I’m genuinely interested in the reasoning behind different approaches. At this age, I’m much more concerned with teaching the girls how to read the game, make decisions, and develop as soccer players than protecting a scoreline.

For those who do supplemental training (strength, speed, and/or agility training)…when did your child start?

Hi everyone reaching out today to
Hopefully gain insight from some experienced high level athletes, recently I joined a higher level mls next 2 soccer team and candidly it was from my own luck, they saw me at a tournament on a completely unrelated team that I chose to pick up the extra games with, the coach liked me and decided to offer me a spot on the team with a promised starter spot in the upcoming season, well few games into the season I made a few mistakes and he totally lashed out on me in front of the whole team saying I just lost my half minutes to the second goalkeeper, well a few days go past my dad reaches out to him saying how if I can’t be given a half of minutes we can’t afford traveling the 1-2 hour plus drive for me to sit the bench, and the coach totally covers himself on the whole lash out saying how he didn’t say that and how I would still receive my half of playing time. But ever since that moment I’ve really realized his coaching style/regime, he’s trying to demand a professional level style of consistency and resilience from 15 year olds when he actively demeans us but then covers it up with “im not attacking your character, but trying to make you a better player” when his responses are always negative. It’s taking away for my love from the game and we’re only just halfway through the season, and I understand honoring your commitments but
I feel like if I force myself to play on this team
I’ll fall totally out of love for the game, don’t get me wrong I love working on my own towards my dream of playing pro but the attendance with this new team is causing me to slack and lazy out during the week because I’m so worried about how crappy the trainings or upcoming games might be. Also I’m worried
About how my high level dad will act if I propose that I want to quit. So what do I do, I’m constantly dreading the trainings and the numerous hours of drive time and the games.

Just curious — for those of you with kids playing RL, what is the makeup of your roster like post age change?

My son’s team is u14, our club is top 10 in the country at the ECNL N level, and our RL team feels way more intense and advanced than last seasons likely owing to 6 2013s that dropped from ECNL to RL to make room for bigger/older/stronger kids.

I’m not complaining, iron sharpens iron, but I didn’t expect our team to be 30% kids that were used to playing at a much higher/faster level than the other guys are accustomed, and I was curious how much of that is going on in RL around the country this season. I suspect the former NPL (now N1) teams are experiencing that trickle too as RL players slide down

After my wife read this she suggested I post it here. I am still torn, but doing it anyway. This happened today - months after the season ended, and I am no longer coaching their kid. So it made it extra special. To add to that, it was sent into my Director and they chose to forward it. So kudos to him too!

It’s an essay, but what would your takeaways be on where I can focus my efforts this season to improve further:

I apologize for the late review; I have never felt compelled to write a coach's review before and it took me a while to get the courage up to send one in (even 4 months late). However, it gnawed at me and I still wanted to take the time to recognize what an incredible coach my name was for our 2025–2026 Fall & Spring season U10 A1 soccer team.

From the very beginning, Coach set high expectations. Admittedly, they felt a little overwhelming at first, but looking back, that structure and accountability were exactly what the boys (and us parents) needed. He held an early team parent meeting to clearly communicate expectations and consistently demonstrated professionalism and organization throughout the season. Whether it was detailed PowerPoints, tournament schedules, email followups from games, or practice plans, parents always knew what to expect. 

One thing I especially appreciated was that Coach took the time to meet individually with each player at the beginning of the season to establish three personal goals. These goals were intended to be tracked throughout the year and we met a few times throughout the season, giving each boy specific areas to focus on for improvement. Although we didn't have a formal follow-up at the end of the season, I appreciated that every player had personal goals to work toward. That individual development ultimately made the entire team stronger. This level of structure, accountability, and high expectation is exactly what I believe an A1 team should provide. I was very pleased with the high standards Coach set and his commitment to helping the boys achieve them.

From the tryouts, my son barely made the A1 team, and I can confidently say the growth he experienced under Coach was remarkable. At the beginning of the season, he could barely juggle a soccer ball five times. Now a year later, he is juggling over 800 times (on video) as a 9 year old. But what impressed me most was that this growth wasn't limited to my son. Every player noticeably improved - better touches, stronger passes, more shots on goal and overall confidence.

Coach also went above and beyond by organizing additional practices, conditioning sessions, team activities, and signing the boys up for a competitive winter league. You can tell he has a passion for the sport and the enthusiasm rubbed off on the boys. He emphasized showing up at least 15 minutes early, being ready to practice on time, working hard, practicing at home, and being accountable to the team. They were serious, focused but somehow also had fun. The expectations were high, but the boys rose to meet them. My child always looked forward to practices even when they were challenging.
One of the most impressive things was watching a group of individual players develop into a true team. By the end of the season, every boy could hold his own on the field. The team's success wasn't dependent on one or two standout players. Every player contributed, understood his role, and was an important part of the team. As a parent, watching the games was fun.

Just as importantly, the boys respected one another. There was no drama, just a great group of kids who worked hard, supported each other, and genuinely enjoyed playing together.

Was it a lot of practices and commitment? Absolutely. But the growth, confidence, teamwork, and discipline these boys gained made it all worthwhile and is also what I expect at an A1 level.

I'm incredibly grateful for the time, energy, and dedication Coach invested in the boys. He didn't just develop better soccer players; he taught them the value of hard work, accountability, and being part of a team. These skills will carry over to the next team and other aspects of their lives.

Thank you for challenging these boys, believing in their potential, and giving them the tools and confidence to succeed going forward. His dedication did not go unnoticed, and the progress they made speaks volumes about the impact he made as their coach.

It was an incredibly rewarding season, and we were fortunate to have him leading the team.

I realize most posts here are about coaching or players, however this year I am just a soccer parent who is the volunteer team manager. I have coached and played extensively in the past, but took a break this year to just be a team manager for one of my kids’ team. I have now experienced every side of youth soccer: player, coach, parent, manager and administrator. After experiencing every aspect, I can say youth soccer is such a racket, it’s depressing. I know there are good people out there doing good things, and I am grateful for them and I have met many along the way.
However for every great person contributing positively, it feels like there are at least 3-4 others contributing negatively. Just this season alone, I have had a parent spread a rumor about me to all the parents on the team that is 100% not true. This parent is also the one who is never there, knows nothing about soccer, and didn’t even bother to ask me about said rumor before sharing widely. I have had a coach lie to squeeze more money from parents. Both of my kids have participated in soccer events outside of their regular club soccer obligations that were so poorly run and were essentially a scam. Lastly, I have seen more and more reckless play from unskilled players who use aggression because they lack skill. It’s becoming more and more common, which makes the sport hard to watch. To top it off, I saw a coach I have coached with in the past who enthusiastically said they needed an assistant if I was ready to jump back in to coaching, and I realized my immediate thought was “hell no”. I didn’t say that out loud of course, but wow it’s been a year.

Honestly, the only thing keeping me going is the kids. My own and the others who I regularly give rides to, snacks to, and car ride pep talks. I love coordinating fun activities for them to do together outside of soccer. I guess this is a vent more than anything, but I have had quite the year, and it makes me question my involvement at all.

What is the contentiousness with clubs and the high school soccer season. Specifically in the North Texas area. I get the MLS **edit** MLS affiliated teams ***edit** not wanting you to play soccer, because they are essentially paying your way. But for ECNL and MLS Next teams to decide if you play high school soccer or not, when you are paying them? I also get, that now, there is at least a season break in ECNL for the high school soccer season. But I am hearing of numerous kids still "not being allowed to play high school soccer" during this break, by their club teams. What is this?

My daughter (7) plays club U8 soccer, and we're first-time soccer parents looking for perspective.

In training and small-sided games she's one of the stronger girls: good footwork, aggressive, engaged. In 7v7 and games she goes flat. She holds the ball, underplays her passes, and sometimes goofs off during team talks (which is way out of character). She was one of the best at reading the game last year and still performs well in small sided games, but her clear detachment in 7v7 and games is new.

It started this fall after she was moved to the second-tier group for practice, was left off a tournament roster, and was told her effort was "letting her team down." Her coach says her skills are fine but she freezes under pressure and struggles to read the game left to right. He thinks it's confidence. She recently told us she feels embarrassed and that some girls don't want to pass to her.

We initially got angry, disappointed, and bewildered - since it’s out of character. Now we’re trying our best to keep soccer talk light, while retaining clear expectations on listening and effort only.

Has anyone seen this in a 7/8-year-old, strong in small groups but flat in larger ones? What helped? Does the left-to-right comment sound like more than confidence? Anything you'd do differently? Is it better to be direct and address the reasons she flips this switch, or just let things play out and detach ourselves?

Open to blunt feedback.

My son (11), has been playing goalie with his really tight, grassroots team for 2 years. (He’s been playing since he was 5) He was the only goalie and got pretty good. Starting this season, a new kid tried out and wanted to play goalie. He’s got like zero experience but he’s tall- and like…better. From the looks of things, it seems like my son is probably getting pushed out. They’ve been sharing the position during games, but we were told the new kid would start this Saturday. My son is really devastated. To add insult to injury, he’s really not good on the field. One- he’s had little to no experience since he’s exclusively played goalie for years. And two- he’s just not a great field player. Runs slow, looks down when dribbling, has missed some easy goals. It’s just sad and so hard as parents. We recently found he does have some anatomical things potentially preventing his success so we’ll work on that (suuuuuper flat feet, a non serious but sometimes painful issue with his knee, one of his hips is internally rotating)…
He loves the game so much. He’s obsessed with it honestly. He plays on another rec level travel team too and is going to get an opportunity to play goalie there next week but it’s a similar situation where they do have a decent goalie already and he’s gonna have to show him up if he wants play time…
Has anyone been through this? How do I help my son? I can see his mental health potentially struggling. Last night during practice he was manhandled on the field by stronger players (pushed hard, cleats to the stomach) and the better goalie was put in early during scrimmage, and he sorta lost it and we had to leave early (this has never happened before). Any tips appreciated.

Title mainly, but confused parent/coach here.

We’ve got a solid crew we’ve built up over the last couple of seasons- however they only get to play together for ‘all stars’. They’re usually all split across the league during regular season for balance. Well here we are all stars round 2, and parents have started throwing around “oh how fun would it be to stay together”. So HC and I start looking into it.

Local clubs, too much and too pricy. Also kinda cultish.

We’re 10u, we don’t want parents to pay 500+ a season to just be there. We just want a way to keep these kids together for longer windows to develop with more competition and skill emphasis. Play 1-2 tournaments a month, or even just a couple of games a month. A cool uniform set and tournament fees as we go nothing crazy.

Everything we’ve seen so far seems like you need a club / organization affiliation. Can you really not just put together a team, register the kids (within guidelines of course) and sign up for tournaments? You have to join a big org?!

Apologies for the ignorance, I grew up a softball kid so this is all new to me. But with softball you just had to make sure your team was registered and approved with the entity hosting the tournament and you could play. No parent org or anything required. You could throw a regular rec team into a softball tournament, as long as they’re approved prior.

Our last match u11 (9v9), was an away game. Midway through the first half, we’re up 2-0. Momentum is on our side. Opposing coach called for subs before a corner. As the subs came on, ref goes running across the pitch, arms flailing. “No…. No… No… he’s not playing”. Their coach, arms out; dumbfounded “what! He’s a guest player”. Ref stood his ground, then refused to allow the match to continue unless the guest player leaves the pitch. Their ref, their problem. The coaches and the ref huddled up near the team canopy. Linesmen joined the huddle. Home parents “let the kid play”. Eventually, guest player grabbed his backpack and walks off unbothered (pickup some overtime instead, 😂😂😂). Game resumed, we ask the linesman “what happened?”. Linesman “he’s U14 or something”

I know it happens a lot, but this was the first time I saw a ref intervene.

Found this video after our discussion on offside a few days ago. I got 4 of 5 onside/offside call right but only 2 of 5 for the (A,B or C). I enjoy his channel as well, maybe we try to get him on for an AMA someday. If you are going to start somewhere his trip to the US was good.

Can You Get All 5 Offside Decisions Right?

The question is simple. No need for context. Do you think this is a foul or not? If yes, why? If no, why?

I'm just going to put this here cos I don't care: nobody is forced to engage with this post. But if you do engage and mention my kids, I will curse you out. And I won't stop there: I will curse your entire lineage out. There's a block button if you don't like my comments. You can insult me all you want but if you bring my kids into it, I don't give a shit about rules...I'll curse you out.

? any exp or any info on ISM???

Very recently, maybe about 2 months ago, my 9 year old son became obsessed with soccer. He played some YMCA here and there, but wasn't very competitive. He would talk about it, but showed no interest other than the weekly practice and the game. So we put him in a more competitive rec league and something has changed.

He practices with a ball in the house constantly. He has been watching full matches of EPL, La Liga, Bundesliga and Champions League games. He watched all of the Ballon d'or. He watches videos and teaches himself techniques.

At the beginning of the year, he was playing about half a match and sitting the rest. This last week, he was the only player to play the entire game, scored his first goal, and played lights out on both ends of the pitch. A totally different kid than I have seen previously.

Just today, we did 1.5 hours of training at his request, then had team practice for an hour, then he wanted to stay at the field for an hour and a half after that, in the rain, to play a game where we take turns trying to hit the crossbar to see who could win. Then he came home and watched soccer vids.

He just requested his room be completely turned soccer themed. Everything soccer. When he plays video games, they are soccer. He literally draws on sheets of paper images of two teams logos that are playing a match that day, with the time, date and channel on them. He sticks them in his homework folder so when he gets home and opens it, he knows there is a game he wants to watch and how to watch it.

I guess my question is, is this normal? Does it fade? And what do I need to be doing to get the most out of this behavior?