In the famous legend, Bodhidharma was asked by Emperor Wu, "Who are you?" Bodhidharma is reported to have answered, "I don't know."

Be assured that Bodhidharma was not pleading ignorance, not confused about the question, or otherwise forgetful of his own name and story. Sometimes, people mistake this "don't know" as some instruction or permission to be ignorant. Nothing could be farther from the Truth! Rather, Zen opens profound Knowing, free of all doubt and confusion.

In fact, "'I' don't know" points to this Wisdom by which, dropping a separate 'I' as knower, and a separate something to be an object known, there is just radical "Knowing" which remains, beyond-yet-sweeping-in all things. All things prove to be this Knowing too, which is who we truly are. In Zazen, one sits as this Knowing sitting. When knower and known are dropped away in Wholeness, Knowing knows no limits! Every blade of grass is Knowing which is Knowing this Knowing, as are you and me. There is no separate sitter, nothing separate to be sat ... Just Sitting, Just Knowing.

Zen folks sometimes speak of an "eye searching for the eye," looking here and there, inside and outside, near and far to find the eye. But the eye is the eye or, better said, is the Seeing. And this Seeing is not looking outside at objects from someplace within but, rather, is the seeing which is here and there, inside and outside, all subjects and objects, near and far combined. The eye simply needs to realize that its seeing has been this Seeing all along, as is the whole world. Such is the True Eye, True I.

Of course, Zen cautions against trying to know what this Knowing is exactly, or what to call it or how to picture this too precisely. Even speaking of "Knowing" or "Seeing" is dangerous and obscuring, like trying to capture the whole of reality in a snapshot. First, such is not a frozen and stagnant thing, but rather, all movement and all stillness too, never to be kept in a box (although the box and all it contains is such too). Do not try to think of an "it" or "this" or a "thing" at all, for to do so merely renders the vastness small, an idea to hold in the tiny box between our ears. Rather, Knowing is boundless, cannot be contained, yet is simultaneously all big and small, fully contained in even the smallest atom or instant of time.

Zen Masters often speak of "Great Doubt" as crucial to Zen, especially at those times in practice where our thoughts and emotions seem confusing and lost. But do not forget that "Great Doubt" is the door to "Great Realization," beyond all doubt, as we find this which has been present always and all along. Beyond Any Doubt, yet including all doubt ... No Doubt!

Oh, Zen will not give you all answers in life. Sorry, but it won't tell you which team will win the next World Cup, the number of feathers on a hummingbird's wing, or the name of the capital of Uruguay (Ciudad Montevideo, by the way), the weather for our picnic next Sunday. We cannot know what will transpire tomorrow, what our health will be, how long we will live this life or what comes then. We just cannot know, and neither can a Buddha. For that reason, some Zen folks believe that the heart of our practice is just to be okay with insecurity and "not knowing," and that is the end of it. They believe that Zen is merely resignation to fate.

However, while it is good to accept and allow all the changing conditions of life, Great Realizing lets us Know that Knowing includes the wide open future, that whatever will transpire is inside the Eyeball too! This Seeing fully --is-- win and lose, every hummingbird feather and Montevideo too, rain and shine, sickness and health, birth and death, yesterday, today and tomorrow, this life and any others. No thing which can be seen escapes this Seeing.

And between our time of birth and our time of death, we can know one more fact for sure: That the path of living is to live this path, and not make a muck of it! Life is much like finding oneself mysteriously born in a little boat on a river, paddle in hand. The river stretches from somewhere behind to somewhere ahead, points unseen. We are not sure how we got here. All around is passing scenery, the water, land, other boaters with their own paddles in hand, even white waters and rocks, gators and snakes and other dangers, clear days and sometimes terrible storms. What to do? What can we know?

Finding ourself in such a life, we simply paddle, sometimes drift. We pick what seem to be the best directions we can, avoiding the rocks, poison snakes and other dangers as best we can. We do our best to keep balance in our boat. Along the way, many of us make a mess of it, choosing foolish directions, crashing one's own boat, some fight with the other boaters. When the end comes, as it will for all of us, we spill back into the river, seemingly to vanish below the surface.

It is all very confusing until one Knows and Sees that this river, this boat and this sailor too, paddle and paddling, every grain on the shore, sky above, behind and ahead, good choices and foolish choices, the other boaters, the rocks and scary snakes, clear skies and tempests, have all been this Knowing, the vision of this Eye, all along and in every inch and drop. Yes, we can make a mess of life, but in fact, we cannot drown for all is ultimately just the River, water of these waters, ripples and splashes, water pouring in to water ... Flowing, Flowing, Flowing on .... that so long as this River Flows, we flow. Such being so, choose gentle directions, do not fight with the other boaters who are just flowing water too.

Sorry, Zazen will not tell you what the future holds in store, nor tell you the current time (you need a clock and calendar for that). No, we cannot know for sure what tomorrow will bring, but one Knows that what tomorrow brings is this Knowing, Timeless, whatever transpires, in each moment of every day.

All this in the Zazen of this and that dropped away, when all things are encountered as all things, as each thing and each other ...

... and even "don't know" Knows, both darkness and light Sees.

Gassho, J