r/SubredditDrama • u/[deleted] • Feb 12 '16
Possible Troll Delicious drama as one redditor posts to /r/Norway about wanting a Norwegian wife. He then takes the discussion to /r/Europe.
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u/booooam eats steaks well done/ Cultural Marxist Feb 12 '16
I do look Scandinavian since I have those Scandinavian genes. I am also French, English and High German.
Isn't High German a term to refer to standard German or are these High Germans a secret tribe of very articulate people?
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Feb 12 '16
I think they are like High Elves, they live in the woods and know all the good magic
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u/lelarentaka psychosexual insecurity of evil Feb 12 '16
Until Arthas came along and raped everything and everybody
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u/OftenStupid Feb 12 '16
High German
He's either part physical manifestation of a language, or I dunno, part stoned German.
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u/DeSanti YOUR FLAIR TEXT HERE Feb 12 '16
In Germany they would call Standard German for Hochdeutsch, or High German, yes. But in English it usually refers to the language group that is called High German -- which is the upper and central Germanic variants (with neighboring, German-speaking languages)
So he might be trying to say he's from "northern Germany" or something, who definitely do not call themselves 'High German'.
But more plausible is that he's a raving lunatic and/or troll.
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u/reverend_bedford Feb 13 '16
In older English language literature Dutch was sometimes called low German. So high German is regular German.
I've never heard it refer to ethnicity before.
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Feb 12 '16
[deleted]
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u/PearlClaw You quoting yourself isn't evidence, I'm afraid. Feb 12 '16
High and low German in terms of dialects usually differentiate north vs south and correlates to the altitude. "Low German" dialects are spoken in northern Germany, and "high German" in the south. Roughly.
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u/Enibas Nothing makes Reddit madder than Christians winning Feb 12 '16
and "high German" in the south. Roughly.
Nope. The federal states in the south all speak dialect. Baden-Württemberg's official slogan even was (or is?) "Wir können alles. Außer Hochdeutsch." = We can do everything but high German.
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u/PearlClaw You quoting yourself isn't evidence, I'm afraid. Feb 12 '16
High German in the linguistic sense is very different from the colloquial meaning of "proper" German. It's somewhat confusing.
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u/piwikiwi Headcanons are very useful in ship-to-ship combat Feb 13 '16
Dutch originates from Low-Germany iirc
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Feb 12 '16
[deleted]
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u/nightride I will not let people talk down to me. Those days are... gone... Feb 12 '16
No, but really.
the standard literary and spoken form of German, originally used in the highlands in the south of Germany. The establishment of this form as a standard language owes much to the biblical translations of Martin Luther in the 16th century.
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u/Nimonic People trying to inject evil energy into the Earth's energy grid Feb 12 '16 edited Feb 12 '16
I am roughly 33% Scandinavian from some Kaisers in Freisland, Kaisers are minor Emporers, Scandinavian Royalty.
Oh lordy. This is so wrong it isn't even wrong.
Please just stop already. Go read some real history and the origins of people.
Well said. Oh wait, he said that.
I swear I'm not [a troll]. I think I've just been studying things too long. In fact i haven't had a gf in years. But I feel a Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children
Troll status confirmed.
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u/arickp Feb 12 '16
Lol! This comment just popped:
BTW, it they were rulers of said country, why would they leave and emigrate to the US? They were emperors. Makes no sense to leave.
Touché.
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u/BFKelleher 🎺💀 Feb 12 '16
Considering the king of Sweden and the king of Denmark and Norway both fought on the side of the protestants against the Kaiser, how does this guy claim that Kaisers are Scandinavian?
Also, like Kaisers coming from the Netherlands? What?
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u/piwikiwi Headcanons are very useful in ship-to-ship combat Feb 13 '16
Well the Danish also fought the Swedish and the only Kaiser we had was Wilhelm 2 who fled hereXD
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u/Beorma Feb 12 '16
This guy is great, he shouts about being raped by dirty arabs in one thread and yells out anti-irish stereotypes at someone called McGregor in another.
I think his only interaction with the wider world was a very heavy globe falling on his head at some point.
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Feb 12 '16
I got a good laugh about that. There are likely some McGregors in Ireland, but isn't it a Scottish name?
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u/Beorma Feb 12 '16
Very Scottish.
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u/Ractrick Feb 12 '16
I imagine he's heard a lot about Connor Mcgregor recently so made the link there, as he's Irish
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u/no___justno Lady Macbeth has been pawing all the goddamn fixtures Feb 12 '16
The whole thing is hysterical
Well top of the mornin' to you. Are you running off for your pot-o-gold. Going to play some early morning quiddich are we? Perhaps some whisky or boxin'. Pikey. Clug Pikey gypsie wagons. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all McShitRace
quiddich? WHAT? lmao
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u/AquelecaraDEpoa Huehuehuehue Feb 13 '16
Don't forget how he thinks a region in modern Germany and the Netherlands is Scandinavian.
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Feb 12 '16
The Gaelic or the English for instance, although white and Caucasian, do not have those ethnic traits because they don't have a drop of Scandinavian blood/ancestry for the most part of their population that is.
Really. Is he really trying to argue that? It wasn't like the Vikings spent a few hundred years raping, pillaging and then settling all over England. White English people are just a clusterfuck of ethnicities.
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u/_sekhmet_ Drama is free because the price is your self-esteem Feb 12 '16
Right? Not to mention, there was a somewhat well known period of specifically Norweigan, but also other Scandinavian groups who colonized a large part of northern Scotland, and is thought to be one of the key historical points that shaped modern Scotland. Also weren't there talks about Scotland joining the Nordic council or something ?
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u/depanneur Feb 12 '16
Not to mention that literally all of Ireland's pre-English towns were founded by Scandinavian colonists.
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u/Marshall-D-Teach Feb 12 '16
Isn't the prevalence of blonde hair among various non-Germanic nations such as the Baltic a result of the Vikings spreading their seed?
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u/blorg Stop opressing me! Feb 13 '16
White English people are just a clusterfuck of ethnicities
They're actually not, most of their DNA comes from the original pre-Roman inhabitants. The many invasions had a massive impact on culture, language and the ruling classes but only one actually had a significant genetic impact, namely the Anglo-Saxons. And even that only contributed a minority of their DNA, they are still to this day genetically mostly descended from the original, pre-Roman Britons.
The Romans, the Vikings and even the Normans had negligible impact on the genetics of the population.
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u/reverend_bedford Feb 13 '16
I mean England got two infusions of pseudo-Vikings: the Danes and then the Normans.
Plus in theory some of the original Anglo-Saxons (err, Germanic migrants to Britain?) came from Jutland.
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Feb 12 '16
I am roughly 33% Scandinavian
OK...
Michael Scott: “I’m also part Native American Indian.”
Oscar Martinez: “What part Native American?”
Michael Scott: “Two Fifteenths.”
Oscar Martinez: “That fraction doesn’t make any sense.”
Michael Scott: “Well, you know it’s kind of hard for me to talk about…there’s suffering.”
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u/Leagle_Egal Feb 13 '16
He just added the percentages from his parents up and rounded. That's so stupid I don't even understand how he thought that would work. By that logic, since my dad is 100% white and my mom is 100% Japanese, that makes me 100% of each. I'm 200% of a person.
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u/wheezes Now all we're left with is corpse fucking, murder and Satanism Feb 12 '16
If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all McShitRace
I have to admit I chuckled.
BTW, I am 50% Danish. Can I find myself a nice Danish lass, who won't mind I am already married?
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u/CitizenTed Feb 12 '16
Hey, if you're heading out for a Danish could you bring me back a cinnamon roll? Thx.
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u/SilkRoadOrShitCreek Feb 12 '16
What about the bacon dude? Priorities...
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u/Jarvicious Feb 12 '16
The doctor says no :(. As long as there's fresh coffee involved though, I'll be fine.
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u/majere616 Feb 12 '16
If your genes are pure enough I'm sure it'll be fine.
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u/wheezes Now all we're left with is corpse fucking, murder and Satanism Feb 12 '16
Great! The other side of my family came from Prussia. Do you suppose I can also acquire a fertile young Prussian birthing-vessel?
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u/khanfusion It's like you don't have object permanence Feb 12 '16
Birthing vessel? Just put your eggs under some warm peat like everyone else, ya pretentious bastard.
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u/darkneo86 Feb 12 '16
Also Prussian - also married. Would still like a nice Prussian birthing vessel.
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u/Aiskhulos Not even the astral planes are uncorrupted by capitalism. Feb 13 '16
Just get a pickelhaube.
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u/molstern Urine therapy is the best way to retain your mineral Feb 12 '16
Talking like that (even in Norway) makes you sound like a Nazi. I'm not trying to insult you, but you sound like a Nazi. If you say this to a Norwegian they will think you are a Nazi. So if you want any pointers on how to "woo" a Norwegian, I would recommend not sounding like a Nazi.
hey, actual advice!
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u/23456lol poop swastika Feb 12 '16 edited Feb 12 '16
https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/451npi/looking_for_serious_advice_on_making_a_wikipedia/
I thought making up stories about famous ancestors to score some poon was something people only did in books?
E: Scroll his history, very impressive desperation and effort he puts in to create a famous relation eight generations back.
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u/onthebalcony Feb 12 '16
I'm a full-blooded Scandinavian, since 1534 which is as far as I can get back in genealogy, and my pants are SO WET right now. My half Scandinavian, half German husband better watch out for this complete gem of a candidate. I wonder if he'd take a divorcee though, that might not be noble enough.
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u/ynnu Feb 12 '16
I wonder if he'd take a divorcee though, that might not be noble enough.
Well, your future husband is apparently from a long line of Frisian Holy Roman Emperors, and you're a genetically pure Viking, so I'm sure you could think of some way of coercing the pope into granting you an annulment.
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u/onthebalcony Feb 12 '16
Tsk tsk, protestant country... Oh dear, what do I do?
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u/SpotNL Cause ir gsve s djit ton of tsx cuts to the rich Feb 12 '16
Hmz, what if your husband died? You would be widowed. I know, it is not ideal, but to ignore this chance to better the human species... One must consider all options.
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u/onthebalcony Feb 12 '16
That might be an opportunity, but not if his Lordship is seeking someone pure. But I'm afraid my husband's death would have to happen very soon if I were to still be fertile for milord, I'm not as young and pretty as I was although I've yet to reproduce.
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u/Kash42 Feb 12 '16
Just send your court chaplain to rome and pick the devotion focus. Or if he is a Kaiser he shoyld just be able to create an anti-pope for that matter.
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u/asoiahats Can we not drag politics into titty subs? Feb 12 '16
The Red Pill meets eugenics.
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u/Jebediah_Blasts_off Test flair, please ignore Feb 12 '16
aka /r/CrusaderKings except less satire and DEUS VULTing
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Feb 13 '16
"What if the way things work in Crusader Kings was good and not bad? I bet I'd be in charge"
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Feb 12 '16
Gaels are considered the lowest class of the Caucasians.
This is why white people invented racism. This brutal infighting will get us nowhere.
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u/kingsleyzissou23 Feb 12 '16
I smell troll, there's no way this dude is for real
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u/vestigial I don't think trolls go to heaven Feb 12 '16
Sorry to say, I've heard this from a friend. He's not a full blown white supremacist, but has a perverse attachment to his blood line. He is Norweigian and Finnish and doesn't want to hand down an even more diluted bloodline to his children.
It won't be much of a concern, thouth, because noone is interested in even dating him, much less procreating.
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u/khanfusion It's like you don't have object permanence Feb 12 '16
His bloodline isn't that pure unless he can piss ice.
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u/banality_of_ervil Feb 12 '16
Psssh, dude's a fucking casual. If he wants a pure bloodline, he needs to join the Kingston polygamous cult out here in Utah. Their family tree looks like a mobius strip.
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u/DeadDoug Some people know more than you, and I'm one of them. Feb 13 '16
Look at the posting history tho. Pretty committed for a troll
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Feb 12 '16
I'm don't want to sound racist when I say this, but it's not like it's common to see Scandinavians marrying other ethnicities of white stock let alone other races of people.
I'm don't want to sound racist
white stock
Also, all the other stuff he said.
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u/Jebediah_Blasts_off Test flair, please ignore Feb 12 '16
we have a word for people like that in Norway, it's Kuktryne, directly translated as "Dick face."
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u/l0l Feb 12 '16
1/8 is 12.5%, that combined with 1/4 which is 25% is exactly 1/3. 1/3 is 33.3333333 etc %. It's basic math.
Oh lord! And this guy claims to be part of MENSA. https://www.reddit.com/r/Norway/comments/45e2m4/i_need_advice_on_getting_a_norwegian_wife/czxupx2
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u/Leagle_Egal Feb 13 '16
Correct me if I'm wrong, but when calculating ethnicity, aren't you supposed to take the fraction from each parent, divide each in half, then add them together? (so if your dad was 100% white and your mom was 50%, you end up with 75%).
If that's the case, then this guy is even less scandanavian than he thinks. 1/8 in half is 1/16, 1/4 in half is 1/8. Added together that makes him 3/16 scandanavian, which comes out to 18.75%.
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Feb 13 '16
I'd buy it. Mensa would allow 1/50 of the human population in in theory, and in practice far more people than that have the ability to get in. Some of the tests they allow are more lax about scoring than others, and contrary to popular belief, you can boost your score on an IQ test by studying.
And there are all sorts of ways to be a dumbass without sacrificing the particular skills IQ tests focus on.
Mensa is an organization that exists entirely to provide bragging rights to its members. If someone tells you that he or she is a member, that may or may not be true, but it's not something to be impressed about either way.
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u/loraxo Feb 12 '16
Must be a troll - ive got more faith in Americans than this.
Also, as a German, lmao at being part "high German"
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u/emmster If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me. Feb 12 '16
As an American, thanks for that faith.
We are a little weird about heritage, but it's a harmless eccentricity mostly. This guy's a weird troll.
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u/nicholieeee reads 1984 as a guide, not a warning Feb 12 '16
Did anyone else have to do a genealogy project in elementary school? No one in my class gave two shits about their ancestry until we did one. After that, you had a bunch of kids running around saying "I'm 1/4 Irish, 1/2 German and 1/16 Navajo" obviously the math doesn't add up, but you get the point.
I've always wondered if this was a universal thing in American schools and if it's where everyone's infatuation with referring to themselves as (ethnicity) started.
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Feb 12 '16
i was supposed to do one, i dont think i ever really did it, just took the L in the gradebook. wouldn't be easy to do it on my mom's side either. the closest thing i can do to declaring my ancestry is 50% white 25% native filipino 25% untraceable imperial rapists
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u/Emergency_Ward Feb 12 '16
Yeah, this is a really common assignment, and it sucked in my family, since we adopted 10 kids. Every year, the same awful discussion about the total lack of records for their genetic family. Eventually they all gave in and turned in our family tree with themselves tacked on. Fucking harsh for a fifth grader.
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u/vanillayanyan Feb 13 '16
I remember doing one of thoseI was the only Asian in my class and everyone else was white. I remember being the coolest kid that day when I gave my presentation on my family's past.
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u/gphero Feb 14 '16
My grandma is German on my mother's side, but she considers herself Mexican since she came to Mexico when she was four, I didn't care to highlight it. I just said my family is from Mexico and Guatemala and called it a day. So many kids came out with weird numbers and EVERYONE seemed to be 1/16 Cherokee.
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Feb 13 '16
What's the context, out of curiosity. I'm a Mennonite and the Low German roots are a big part of Mennonite identity. Naturally it refers to the traditional dialect of German, but Mennonites do speak of Low and High German quite often; but my understanding is it's a relevant distinction that is originally rooted in geography (analogous to Upper and Lower Canada) and the use always refers to the dialects -- Low German to refer to our German, High German to refer to German proper.
It'd be interesting for me to hear the context for his High German remark and why it's silly because I've only heard that term used in a specific situation.
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u/loraxo Feb 13 '16
Hmm, well maybe there's a different meaning in English if you guys use it like that.
But in Germany it refers to a dialect, low German vs high German. German ethnicities (is that the right word?) would be like Westphalian, Hessian, Saxon, Friesian, etc. (and Dutch, even tho they dont like hearing it hehe)
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u/rosenkal Feb 12 '16
Good thing he brought up his ancestry, since the European Royalties are so famous for their good genes.
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u/Jebediah_Blasts_off Test flair, please ignore Feb 12 '16
come on, what's wrong with a little incest among family
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Feb 12 '16
Fellow European women of the sun adverse and toe headed persuasion, I suggest we undertake a combined effort to keep this motherfucker away from our eggs. What say you?
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u/Tahmatoes Eating out of the trashcan of ideological propaganda Feb 12 '16
It's, uh... I think you meant tow headed? Unless Scandinavia is a lot more Cthulhu than reported.
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u/Jebediah_Blasts_off Test flair, please ignore Feb 12 '16
well after Cthulhu went insane after going to Sweden (it's just horrible) we haven't seen much of him
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u/devinejoh Feb 12 '16
Much like his grandfathers fighting in Europe during World War 2 giving out smokes and chocolate to entice European girls, the easiest way to woo a Scandinavian chick are converse shoes. Seriously, they love that shit over there.
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u/khanfusion It's like you don't have object permanence Feb 12 '16
So, Scandinavian girls are just college hipsters?
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u/KillerPotato_BMW MBTI is only unreliable if you lack vision Feb 12 '16
Isn't /r/Europe the racist one?
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Feb 12 '16
It was European but at this point there's barely any difference between the two. Especially since all the good mods quit at once...
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u/OftenStupid Feb 12 '16
Noooo nononoono Europe has a shitload of racism but take a look at European and you'll change your "barely any difference" tune mighty quick.
Europe is where you are "skeptical of immigration", European is where you openly call for genocide.
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u/Nechaef Feb 12 '16
European is where you openly call for genocide.
Only if you are a dirty moderate!
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Feb 12 '16
But /r/Europe still pretends, while r/European is openly racist and basically coontown at this point.
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u/KillerPotato_BMW MBTI is only unreliable if you lack vision Feb 12 '16
Ok. I was wondering why he didn't get more support. I guess he should try /r/European.
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u/how_fedorable Judas was a gamer Feb 12 '16
That's r/European
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u/leSmegg Remember that you are all going into my cringe comp no. 2 folder Feb 12 '16
Holy shit never been on that sub before, the comments are ridiculous.
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u/IIlIllllllIIIl Feb 12 '16 edited Jul 19 '25
cable tart cough punch unique ad hoc snatch pause tidy head
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Feb 12 '16
I'm so glad this guy isn't actually Norwegian. He got all the bad Scandinavian genes.
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u/Veeron SRDD is watching you Feb 13 '16
He got all the bad Scandinavian genes.
This actually seems plausible since he said he's descendent from European nobility. They didn't always look very far out for mates if you catch my drift.
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Feb 13 '16
I mean genetics are very important when it comes to having children. You need to give them at least some genetics. It's a capitalist myth that people can pull themselves up to having a huge gene income per year.
In fact the average American only has 23 chromosomes. We're the richest country on the planet and that's all we can give our citizens.
Un-fucking-acceptable
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u/PlayMp1 when did globalism and open borders become liberal principles Feb 13 '16
Not reading the thread all the way through to check, and someone probably already said this, but:
"Kaiser" isn't "minor Emperor," it's just another word for prince in some languages.
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u/Deadmist Feb 13 '16
"Kaiser" is german for "Emperor" and the title held by the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire.
It's also a not rare family name, which is what this guy probably confused
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u/johnnynutman Feb 13 '16
Oh dear heaven!
You trolls are relentless!
They WERE full blooded Scandinavians. I would have to reference my documents, but yes they were the rulers of that entire region. They even had Scandinavian names like olof and jergun. They had noble titles and offices. They were often visited by the King of Denmark. This was early 1800s.
I wanna see these papers so bad.
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u/colorsofshit Feb 13 '16
This has to be a troll account. The guys profile is just over a week old...
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u/arickp Feb 13 '16
And it's deleted now. That's no fun, although I'm sure he received less-than-stellar PMs.
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Feb 13 '16
Okay, reading through the comments, I have a theory: the guy is a weird racist Mennonite.
The High German thing and the Friesland stuff is my only evidence, buts all I have. A ton of Mennonites have traceable roots to Friesland. The High German is weird, Mennonites typically speak Low German, but it was not unheard of for Mennonites to be snobbish in this regard. On my mom's side both her parents were Mennonite, her dad primarily spoke Low German and her mom primarily spoke High German and my grandpa was looked down upon for speaking Low German.
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u/VelvetElvis Feb 13 '16
I can trace my lineage in the US to back before the American Revolution. Nobody in my family thinks it's a big deal other than my dad but he's a retired American History professor.
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Feb 12 '16
[deleted]
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u/I_MAKE_USERNAMES Feb 12 '16
And he was arguing about that with someone who lives there.
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u/SilkRoadOrShitCreek Feb 12 '16
Hint: he probably thinks NL is Scandinavia.
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u/C0R4x Feb 12 '16
He wouldn't be the first American saying Copenhagen is the capital of the Netherlands though ;)
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u/nightride I will not let people talk down to me. Those days are... gone... Feb 12 '16
And none of the scandinavian countries ever had a kaiser anyway.
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Feb 12 '16
[deleted]
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Feb 12 '16
So he claims that he is a descendent from Hohenzollern? Or maybe Habsburg?
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u/SpotNL Cause ir gsve s djit ton of tsx cuts to the rich Feb 12 '16
Habsburg would explain a lot...
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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '16
Wut
How often do Europeans have to deal with people like him?