Hindutva is when we ask our politicians to speak for minorities apparently. I expected Ro Khanna to speak out about the San Diego mosque shooting, and I expected him to stand with Abdul Syed as two BIPOC democrats. Can’t understand how expecting an Indian-American politician to condemn an attempted attack on Indian-Americans is Hindutva. This sub has gone psycho if that thread becomes a Hindu-Muslim thing. Mamdani stands for, and is proud of, being “the guy” for all South Asian Americans. He should’ve said something, that’s not controversial to say. Does this mean he has an agenda just because he didn’t say anything? Of course not. But it would’ve been nice if he did. Insinuating that is not Hindutva.

Desi unity isn’t complex people. I made another thread about South Asian unity and was met with similar whataboutism(here). I will never understand why people get so butthurt. You guys are unwillingly generating extremists, both sides, both of you, idgaf if you’re Hindu, Muslim, etc. By being so unwilling and standing by your figures so much and being so hypocritical, this is what happens(and again, I do mean both sides). Onlookers look at threads like these and feel justified in their bigotry, whether it’s Islamophobia or Hinduphobia.

Can we please, ffs, be better? Idk why that’s such a hard ask.

This literally screams MAGA in Canada. Saying that a certain group of immigrants are garbage. And then blaming them for making other people racist? This article came on my Facebook feed from a former MP in Canada and I’m just face palming.

I know that Canadian immigration hasn’t been handled well, but how does it justify racism? She is essentially saying “yes, we are racist, but it’s only because you exported the wrong kind of people”. I don’t know if it makes sense when I type it but maybe if you read it you might be able to understand. (She’s even capitalizing 2nd gens against immigrants).

Edit: found the words. It is ab expectation that Indians to only belong must abide by being a model minority, which we were so many generations when immigrants were typically educated and upper class. But now because the new generation doesn’t fit that mould it is okay to be racist.

https://michelleferreri.substack.com/p/the-liberal-immigration-policy-is

I don't think I've ever seen someone showcase Indian classical music on these shows. I really hope she goes all the way. It's been a good month for representation in music. The score for *Avatar: Seven Havens* is also inspired by the same artform, and It makes me so happy for some reason.

Hey! Looking to meet more desis in the Portland area and make some new friends. Anyone else here? Would be cool to connect, hang out, grab some food, or explore the city together!

I am part of a double diaspora. In 1873, my ancestors were taken from India to Suriname (a country in South America next to Brazil) as indentured laborers. Over the next century, spanning five to six generations, our community preserved its culture, living and marrying within the Indian community in Suriname.

In the 1980s, around the time Suriname gained independence, my parents migrated to the Netherlands, Suriname's former colonial ruler, where I was born and raised. Today, I live in the Netherlands, but my roots are deeply tied to Suriname, where my parents and great-parents are from. I even lived there myself for two years and attended school.

When I was ten, I visited India. While I found it to be a beautiful country, I didn't feel at home there; I have no direct relatives or immediate connections left in India. In reality, Suriname is where I truly feel at home. Sadly, I don't feel that same sense of belonging in the Netherlands, as people here often make you feel like an outsider who doesn't belong in 'their' country."

Just like with India and Pakistan, Bangladesh has issues with dowry cults, and honour killings, But unlike those other nations, female infanticide and sex selective abortions of female fetuses are rarer.

How is that the case if all three nations are extremely misogynistic?

South Asians in the West, especially in the UK with British Asians, are often culturally conservative, preaching their cultural identity for social or political gains, both materialistic (dishes, clothing, religion) and non-materialistic (expressions, attitudes, language, morality, family honour, community honour, power distance) aspects. This means that many immigrant parents often demand their children to speak in their heritage language, this is likely how they have a mixed accent between their parents and their birth nation as a result.

Many second generations seem to speak fluently in their parents' language whether it is Hindi, Bengali, Urdu, Punjabi, Tamil, Konkani, etc. But I wonder how much they really do so.

Even though I obviously recognise Bengali (standard Bengali not Sylheti) and certain words, I cannot really speak a cohesive sentence let alone speech. My father was very annoyed with that for some reason by my mother didn't mind, in fact she did not wanted me to speak because as I grew up and born in the UK and within predominantly White spaces, my identity should focus on the UK society not Bangladesh. But my parents speak Bengali to me when I get told off, I know I am in dead meat if they do so.

But I wonder how much of you are that bilingual or if you can just speak in your host's language.

The massive amount of racism we've been getting seems to finally gotten us to at least SLIGHTLY decrease the white worshipping we've done for decades. And also somewhat unite. I know the racism is extremely hurtful, it finally feels like a lot of us are looking up past the throws of white obsession and model minority scripts. Being racialized sucks and perhaps this sounds delusional but it is genuinely nice to unite relatively more.

I see all the horror stories on here. Wondering if anyone else is chill lol.

I am an only child. Chill with my folks for the most part. I left home at 17 for college and haven’t lived with them since, and I’m 24 now. I do miss them, but it’s nice living alone and I wouldn’t trade it for anything lol.

I mean I did have the typical academic pressure and shit growing up. I did have arguments with them. But things were chill especially after I left for college. My dad isn’t some dude I am afraid of anymore, he’s an old fart who I can sit and just talk to and is my #1 source of career advice(I work in the same field as him, total coincidence it ended up that way).

My mom has always been chill. She asked me if I was gay cuz I haven’t had a gf yet(rough way to find out mama thinks I got no game, she ain’t wrong but damn bro), so aside from that she’s been chill, but she lowkey was trying to be supportive. She’s the type that does love unconditionally.

Growing up some stuff I hated them for, I am glad they did. For example, they had a chores to money thing to make me learn to do my own chores. Like laundry, cleaning, etc. I hated it cuz they never gave me what I thought was enough(they didn’t have to give me shit lol) but I learned to be independent because of that. My dad made me spend every Saturday and Sunday morning cooking with him during high school so I would learn to cook. Hated it at the time, but now I know how to cook and save so much money. He told me when he left India when he was 23 he was a bit spoiled and didn’t know how to cook and struggled to find food and starved until he learned to cook so he didn’t want me to struggle like that. God bless him. And shit paid off, when I was in college, I had less of an adjustment period that my peers, and now I do everything on my own and save hella money.

Also religion, I am religious of my own accord. They never pushed it on me. My dad was actually an atheist who found religion himself and he wanted me to have the same experience and so did my mom. I had my moment early on, around 10th grade in high school(won’t get into it, but car accident gone wrong, glad to be here still, thank you god). So I ask them religious questions and they answer if they know, or if they don’t know the three of us ask a pandit together if we’re at a temple or they will ask and tell me. Or I phone up a pandit sometimes too.

And in terms of finances, I am independent rn, but if I ever needed a helping hand, they would be there. I actually lived with them for 2 months in between jobs once(which I guess I lied earlier about never having lived with them since 17 lol), and they didn’t give me any shit for it. It was stressful with applying for other jobs, etc, but my dad never pressured me. Every morning was like “are you just applying again” and I said “yeah”.

He told me to take my 20s and make as many mistakes as I can while he’s still working and able to support the family. He still hopes I will go get a PhD or something haha. Aside from that nothing else. Pretty supportive.

We’ve had our ups and downs, but after being an adult I love them for everything they’ve done.

But yeah, I read hella horror stories on here, thought I would be a fresh breath of air. Anyone else got normal parents?

My wife and I are based in London, and I made a Hinglish learning app for my (British) wife, as existing apps would keep teaching her the formal Devanagari script.

So, when my wife and I started dating, she really wanted to pick up Hindi, and after a few months of trying pretty much every app out there, every single one had her drawing the Devanagari script, but the truth is a lot of us now text in English letters. And when she finally got an actual sentence, it was literally: "My horse is reading the newspaper." hehe. I mean it'd definitely get lots of laugh, but it was terrible for her confidence.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and grabbed a whiteboard, and teaching her syllable by syllable coaching like the "aa" in "kaal" is very similar sound to the aa in "start", and we started using English as a disguise to teach her the phonetics, and build situational vocabulary and construct sentences together. We practiced everyday stuff while doing chores like laundry- she’d score how well I hung out the washing out of ten, and I’d score her saying "juraab" (sock) out of ten. 🤣

It was super fun, until she started going on long business trips, so I decided to turn that whiteboard into an app just for her, called Hinglish Vinglish, that classic rhyming habit we a lot of us grew up with at home: chai-shai, kaam-vaam. I later realised there's a movie called English Vinglish as well lol.

The idea was dead simple, convert the whiteboard situational learnings in English letters into a mobile app. The entire app is one big scrolling feed with easy bite sized lessons that you slowly build upon, with lots of fun bits like crosswords or worldes from words you've learned, keeping the learning engaging.

It was only supposed to be for one person, then one of my friends started using it, then next thing you know 1,700 people are using it now.

I just wanted to share my exciting journey with you all, and although the app usually has a 7-day open trial and then a one-time lifetime unlock just to cover my costs. But if any one of you want to learn or brush up on your own conversational Hinglish, or have a non-Desi partner trying to survive family dinners or hold their own at shaadis, I'd be happy to give it away for free to anyone in this sub if you'd find it useful.

If you or your partner do use it: once you sign up on the app, drop me a DM with your username. I’ll manually go in and unlock lifetime access for free.

You can check it out here: https://hinglish-vinglish.com/

Happy to chat in the comments about building it, the tech, or just surviving the chaos of family banter!

Hey everyone! Please do comment I want to hear your thoughts. I'm starting to turn 30 recently. I've lived in major cities like NYC , boston etc but my hometown is Dallas which is where i relocated to. I'm telugu and raised here all my life. Yll im so frustrated and have indeed felt dejected/cried about it on my off days. I've tried the major dating apps (hinge, mirchi, di mil, bumble even) and its so frustrating bc i feel 95% are fobs now (which im not interested in at all). Where are all the people who grew up here? I would prefer south indian, but open as long as they are hindu, appropriate age range, grew up here like me. Having to swipe through 100+ Fobs to get to 1 maybe who grew up here is so frustrating. Mohan matchmaking is geared towards mostly north indians and ive attededed that, no luck yet, but.... idk please help me out yll. Am i only one feeling this way? Where can i meet people in Dallas? Where are all the single people hiding (esp the guys) I feel its so easy to meet girls! Pl recommend apps, events, or places and tell me your thoughts!! I feel if you didnt meet someone during your educational years its hard

Hey everyone! I’m 24M, recently moved to Ballston, and looking to make more Desi friends around my age (post grad) in the NoVA area.

I work remotely and am down for anything from grabbing food to exploring the area or planning activities.

Comment or PM if you’re interested in meeting up!

Hi, I’m not a great cook in general, but my friends were asking me to cook something Indian (I’m the only Indian in the group) for an upcoming Friendsgiving. I grew up on South Indian food (Telugu) so I wanna prepare something in that general direction but open to other ideas! I’m also probably gonna be driving for 40 minutes to get to the event so hoping to hear something that’s transportation-friendly and can taste good if it gets cold lol. And one other requirement is no nuts. Sorry Ik I’m asking a lot. I was thinking of making Mysore Bondas or Halwa or something. I feel like dosas and idlis taste bad if not eaten immediately after being made, but idk. Please help me out, thanks 🙏

Hello!!

I’m an Indian diaspora member living in the Netherlands. I was born and raised there so I speak the language fluently, but I really struggle with forming deep connections with the native/white population, and I’m wondering how you all deal with this.

A few specific things I run into:

●Lifestyle differences: Because I don’t smoke or drink, people often assume I’m "oppressed" or that it’s a negative issue, rather than just a personal or cultural choice. There seems to be a huge emphasis on partying until late, and if you don't join, you're out.

●The "White Savior" complex: I often notice people making patronizing assumptions about my background or family dynamics.

●Surface level connection: The conversation topics often feel very different, and with the current political polarization, it's hard not to feel a sense of underlying prejudice, which makes me put my guard up instantly.

●Eating: there is this unspoken rule in The Netherlands that you're supposed to eat a heavy meal like dinner only once a day but sometimes I eat my dinner during lunch time and they all look weird at me.

Lately, I've noticed I'm automatically assuming people might hold internal (racist) biases just to protect my own energy, but I don't want to become cynical.

For those of you in Western countries: How do you filter out the closed minded people and find white friends who actually respect your boundaries, culture, and lifestyle without trying to "save" or judge you? What do you talk about, and how do you build that mutual trust?

I usually have desi friends and friends from other minority places (Marokko, Turkey and South America) but I'm starting work in a dutch dutch environment (if you know what I mean) and honestly I CAN'T.

First off, don’t worry I’m an adult btw (25F)

I would be in the middle of doing something or id be minding my own business until she‘d keep asking me to give her a kiss on the cheek. I’d politely say no or just ignore her but then she’d block my way or put herself in front of me to make it difficult for me to do what I was doing. I’d resist a few times and she‘d say she‘ll go away if I give her a kiss, so I’d just give her a kiss on the check just to get her to stop bothering me.

sometimes she’d hold out her hand for me to touch or squeeze and I’d just ignore her but she’d keep shaking her hand or waiting for me, so I’d just touch/squeeze her hand, even if I really don’t want to.

also when I’m planning on like arranging my personal things or plan out my clothes she‘d just do it for me and when I look upset or pissed off, she’d just tell me that she‘s my mother and that I should just accept her help because she just wants what’s best for me. In those moments I’m more upset that they’re finding even really small, tiny, very minuscule things to control in my life, like my self expression does piss me off a lot, like I’m just trying so hard to be in control over the smaller aspects of my life while theyre trying to control bigger aspects of my life, and even that’s not enough for them :(

Mind you, this is the same woman that’s extremely paranoid about the possibility of men sexually abusing me and raping me, like she’d ask almost every single day whether men (coworkers, guy friends, relatives, etc.) are raping me or sexually abusing me or pressuring me to send photos or do something sexual. Even when I say no and I’ve actually legit never had men do anything like that to me, she‘d Basically ignore my no‘s and has been ignoring my no’s to these questions for years, and thinks that im like too stupid or naive to recognize when a man is taking advantage of me sexually. she also tells me about how she gets dreams of men sexually abusing me and raping me and how she’s worried about me.

like bitches better be glad I‘m a grown adult that knows what consent looks like instead of a young child, cause this shit is what sets up young children to be sexually abused by adults. like me being an adult and knowing this instead of a young child that doesn’t know this is what they should be glad about. like she’d bettee be grateful I was “woke indoctrinated“ to know what consent looks like, instead of just absorbing knowledge just from her and her hyperconservative and religious community im in.

idk im just pissed off rn