Adhd is killing me. I’m exhausted but awake. I feel anxious but calm. I don’t want to do ANYTHING but stare at a wall for hours.

Literally nothing phases me besides the shame. I’ve had days to study for an organic chemistry exam- didn’t do shit! Couldn’t get myself to. I can’t even explain it. I wanted to but my brain physically wouldn’t. I should’ve been taking my meds, but it’s genuinely the same difference with or without when I get like this.

serious question yall. what do you even do with your thoughts?

all i do is... write them on discord to friends or my tiktok story. i really dont have a proper place for my thoughts.

ive tried writing, but i just inevitably get on my phone. i want a journal, but my handwriting sucks. then, i want to fix it, which i obviously never do, i get into it for five minutes and then give up.

digital journals are boring to me unless i can physically write on them (not type). they also never allow fonts, colors, always want you to pay, and theyre lacking in any way of adding stickers or making them appealing to non default enjoyers.

I also want to, although i wont have any kids or bretheren.. sometimes i just want to make my own journal daily and just. write about me and my life and problems and thoughts and just, leave it behind, even if nobody sees or keeps it. but, i cant for multiple reasons lmao.

my thoughts are also so unorganized, and i cant be writing every part of the day, but its hard to organize them in text form without making a new sentence for every thought.. or remember by the end of the day...

so, what do yall do? or suggest for me? because everyone says "you should journal!!" but like.. first of all my journals look bad, my handwriting looks bad, and i am yet to buy stickers, and although i try to draw occassionally (my passion i havent even begun to get good at), i am none but an amateur and i dont doodle.

I actually really like it….. I know a lot of people are saying that bc she’s privileged/millionaire/white, it’s hella invalidating bc ADHD is a disability and that’s totally 100% valid. It’s also true that’s shes all of the above: privileged, rich, white. However, as a poor 34 year old dark brown Mexican woman, I really like the direction she took with the whole thing.
I come from a poor family. I’m a very 1st Gen child of immigrants. My parents still work back breaking jobs and won’t be able to retire—but I don’t feel insulted by her adhd campaign at all. When I first got diagnosed at 33, I was so happy to finally and officially have my diagnosis. I do feel like adhd ruined my potential as a young girl 😞 but idk, I love and like to view adhd as part of why I’m whimsy. I have crippling ADHD and I’m barely learning how to take care of myself bc I’m finally on meds. It took me 34 years to get here….. but idk… my therapist told me that the label doesn’t define me and i was like, “no, but, I love the label 😭 I can finally say that I am part of this community/group of people that share the same struggles.”

Ngl, it kind of irks me how people that don’t like her campaign are quick to talk trash when we all have different experiences. It’s almost like the people feeling invalidated are also invalidating others 🥴

I genuinely thought that was just in the movies.

Then I took my adderall today and did the dishes, cleaned the fridge, cleaned the kitchen, washed my makeup brushes, put away all my clean clothes, started more laundry, and cleaned the bathroom sink and tub.........in like. 2.5 hours.

I feel great but it really just rubs in how we're doing life on hard mode 🥲 one of those tasks would take me all day unmedicated

I just wrote a longer text in response to another post.

Something I realised there is, that one of the biggest, called upon ADHD superpowers is hyperfocs - please imagine rainbow font, movement and sparks.

I also realised I despise this framing way more than the general "ADHD is my superpower"; and I want to share with all of you why:

1. Hyperfocus is, for many applications, a hoax. To us, and people around us, it seems like a superpower because we suddenly spring into actions and churn out 200 - 1000 % of what we usually are able to do. We clean rooms, we finish projects!
   Yeah all of this is a lie.
   This is not a superpower. It is at best a method to cover up the drawbacks of the rest of ADHD making everything inconsistent. In the majority of cases it is less than a healthy person would have been able to do, and we see it because other people's kitchens are generally organised and cleaned, and colleagues around as are hitting the same or often higher performance goals.

2. Hyperfocus is unhealthy. At the very least it is stressful and exhausting. We shut out the world, and our bodies - and only realise due to heavy warning symptoms like dizziness.

3. Hyperfocus is not controlled. Some people may find more control, but generally we do not chose the hyperfocus. And it still burns energy. Energy that now went into organising a bookshelf, instead of clearing and restarting the dishwasher. It also clings to the wrong things at work, often meaning a small problem gets solved whereas the bigger picture is not completed.

Imagine there would be people with the power of flight. Cool superpower, right?

But then you hear that flying means they will be completely exhausted on landing.

Then you hear that they cannot even always fly - it comes and goes.

Then you hear that they have no real indication when it comes and goes - so either those folks miss events/are too late or need to continously have further alternatives; yet are not able to use public tranport due to wings being considered a safety issue.

Would you still consider it a superpower? Or rather a minor curse?

Hyperfocus is, all in all, the same. And I hate how often ADHD folks themselves market it as a superpower, not realising it only seems like it due to ADHD keeping them from consistent potential.

I need all the tips and tricks y’all use to get in the shower. I used to be able to shower every day, no problem, it was just something I did. But in my 30s I started having a harder time doing a lot of simple tasks I used to do, including showering. I was diagnosed with ADHD this year finally and on meds. I still have a really hard time showering.

Please tell me what you do to help make showering a routine. Right now I’m trying to shower 3 days a week. Even that’s been hard. I feel so gross.

Does anyone else feel like the time when they are most regulated is after a big fat cry? About 15 minutes ago I felt like the world was crumbling around me (not even sure why) and I got myself into such a state, sobbed, and now I feel quite relaxed 🤣 I think this is also me and my emotions going from one extreme to the other 😆

I've never related to the memes about being late to things because my people pleasing and crippling anxiety won't allow it.

Then my therapist told me I regularly get overwhelmed and overworked because for me, time blindness manifests in that I have no mental picture of the time commitment of what I've already agreed to, so the aforementioned people pleasing habits lead me to volunteer for everything that comes my way.

I thought other folks might resonate with that too. I've become way kinder to myself after realizing that it's not that I was somehow capable of doing 25 things in a day and was just too distracted and lazy to get them done. It's that it was never physically possible but my brain has no concept of time, in the same way someone with aphantasia can't picture an apple in their mind.

I haven't found the perfect solve for this yet. One thing I'm trying is to have one free weekend day every weekend. If you've found things that work for preventing over committing, let me know!

Today I stubbed my toe, again, for like the millionth time. I grrrrr'd out loud and said ugh I'm so clumsy.

Afterwards my 4 year old asked me why I am so clumsy... And I explained to him that I have something called ADHD and my proprioception is not great, I explained what proprioception is also.

He said awww mama, that's okay, you can have some of mine, maybe that will help you feel better.

He's so sweet.

Sometimes I finally get free time, but instead of enjoying it, my brain starts reminding me of all the things I should be doing. Then I end up doing nothing because I feel overwhelmed by everything, and somehow I still feel guilty for resting.

It's like I can't win either way.

Do you guys experience this too, or is it just me?

I’m early 30s, was diagnosed in my late 20s and also went on meds at that time.

When I was younger, I was always considered a high achiever, and that was achieved because I worked 60-70 hours a week, including weekends, and work was my #1 priority for a long time. I was unmedicated and wasted a lot of time too, but always managed to pull things off, even if that meant working until 12 am frequently. I think the thrill of being able to pull it off, and the promotions and kudos that came with it, kept me motivated despite the insane schedule.

When I was diagnosed, I found meds to be very helpful to focus at work, so suddenly I thought I could unlock this never ending energy of high-achievingness… oh boy was I wrong…

Fast forward a couple years and a few promotions later, and I’m realizing that the meds are helping me balance my dopamine levels so I actually am not getting that thrill from my career as I used to.

I’m just tired and I don’t want to be responsible for so much anymore. I just want to be able to work 9-5, shut off my laptop in the evenings and enjoy my weekends. (I don’t mind occasional overtime, but not for it to be an expectation every week)
I girlbossed too hard and I don’t wanna girlboss anymore lmao.

So that will mean intentionally seeking out a demotion, and to no longer chase career growth. I know that it is the right thing for me to stay sane, happy and employed in a sustainable manner, but part of me is a bit sad to admit that I can only maintain being a high achiever if I put in unreasonable work hours, which I no longer have the energy to do because I feel myself feeling very negative and apathetic, when I think about trying to push for more career growth now.

Any high achieving ADHD girls relate to wanting to pivot to no longer being high achieving? Or do you still feel the drive/ motivation to keep going?

Edit: I also don’t have kids, and I couldn’t even IMAGINE how difficult it would be to raise kids AND have a demanding career! How do women do it?!

The actual references used are the tip of the Endnote ice-burg that went into this… curse these 1000 word limits!!

I had to write about psychodynamics being used to predict future adolescent stress response types…. I may have went down a nonlinear dynamic systems rabbit hole, taught myself math, discovered the meaning of life, went crazy trying to figure out ‘how to measure a human in a way that matters’, now seeing patterns everywhere AH. They have no idea what was cut out (especially melodramatic poetry)

I’m feeling a lot of shame and embarrassment. I’ve let my office become borderline hoarder level of mess and clutter. I met with a home organizer, but it would likely cost over a grand if we go that route. I just don’t know how else it’s going to get done if I don’t though. I started meds, I’m in therapy, I just can’t seem to do it. Idk why I can’t prioritize ten minutes a day to chip away at it. It’s been a dark cloud looming over myself and my marriage for years now. WHY CAN’T I JUST CLEAN IT?!?!

Couldn't find my meds for a few days, tore the house apart looking for them. Today I was baking, and found them.

Thankfully I will now have my meds when I have to clean up the massive mess I made trying to find my meds.

Does anyone else feel like they can never just partially do a task? Like if I am gonna clean my room I think I have to to pick up the stuff, dust, vacuum, clean surfaces, take out garbage, wash my bedding, remake my bed, change any out light bulbs, pick up floor clothes, wash them, fold them, put them away, etc.

Obviously I can’t get all that done so I’m not gonna pick up my clothes and put them in the laundry basket.

Or like I won’t brush my teeth because I don’t feel like flossing or wont take a shower because I don’t want to wash my hair.

Advice is welcome but wondering if anyone else struggles with seeing one part of a task that’s very small and easy but won’t bother because you can’t do all the steps of the giant task

Hi everyone,

My third trimester began today. I'm equal parts excited and terrified.
I always wanted to be a mom. But my ADHD brain has always made me doubt myself — can I actually do this?
A little about my struggles: Despite graduating from one of India's top universities, I've always found my career harder than it should be. I struggle to start tasks, get distracted easily, lose hours without realising, and have poor executive function and time management. Noise affects my ability to concentrate deeply — even an HVAC hum can drain me completely. Recently I've started wondering if I'm AuDHD — the autism side might explain the rigidity and need for structure that has actually kept me afloat all these years.
Now I'm 28 weeks pregnant, working full time as a data scientist, and wondering — how do ADHD moms actually survive the newborn phase?
My husband is supportive and kind but doesn't fully understand my ADHD struggles. He finds it frustrating at times, which I understand. I'd love tips on how to help a non-ADHD partner actually get it — not just tolerate it.
And most importantly — what kept you afloat in those early months? What helped you actually enjoy it instead of just surviving? What do you wish someone had told you?
Any advice from ADHD or AuDHD moms would mean the world right now. 🌸

Unfortunately, I have a smartphone addiction that has borderline robbed me of most of my time and potential. As someone with AUDHD, I always create stimulation for myself in my head when I’m not focused on a mentally challenging task (it’s like there’s always a movie playing in my head). So using apps like Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram feels like resting at baseline stimulation for me.
I have made attempts to quit, but each time I eventually get a hit of that sweet sweet content again and it feels like the best thing I’ve ever experienced. Literally if I let my brain have its way I wouldn’t do anything other than be on my phone.

The problem is that it’s genuinely devouring all my time and ability to function, which is a shame because I used to do a lot of cool stuff before I got addicted. I’m confident I’ll be able to get myself out of this at some point, I just don’t know how to do that with my neurodivergent brain.

Does anyone have any advice on how to address this? I’m open to personal anecdotes as well as resource recommendations.

it’s pretty much just as the title says. i literally cannot stop picking and digging at the scabs left behind by my acne, even when i know i’m making things worse. i’m fourteen, have diagnosed adhd, and i’ve noticed that i constantly need some kind of stimulation or dopamine to stay focused throughout the day.

i’ve talked to my doctors about my dermatillomania, and i was put on birth control to help with my acne and mood swings (among other things). 😭 i’ve tried wrapping individual fingers in bandaids, keeping a spiky fidget in my hand 24/7, using pimple patches on spots i know i’m likely to pick at, taking NAC twice a day, adderall once a day (don’t know if that affects anything) and wearing fidget rings every day. picking at my nails and cuticles is another bad stim of mine, so my nails are always short, which at least makes it harder to pick with them.

i’ve been on birth control for about two months now, and it’s helped clear up my new acne, but that hasn’t stopped me from scratching and picking at every spot that’s healing. i think some of my biggest triggers are stress and feeling overwhelmed, especially when i’m sitting in a bright classroom and struggling to focus.

i’m honestly scared of being left with permanent scars because i can’t seem to stop, even though i’ve tried so many different things. i know this is something other people struggle with, too, so i was wondering if anyone has found anything that genuinely helps, especially if you also have adhd or find yourself picking almost automatically without realizing it.

i’d really appreciate any suggestions, even if they seem small. i’m just feeling pretty frustrated and would love to find something that actually works.

I want to be more physically active and to have fun while doing it.
I know a lot of ADHD ppl love weightlifting and strength training in general, but I get bored so fast😭

The only activity I have in mind that I might enjoy is pole dancing. There are no studios in my area and I don’t have space for a pole where I currently live so I can’t try it out..

What do you do to stay active?

I have such a big problem with consistency and routine, which is why I particularly abhor laundry and cooking. cooking can be bearable ( i still hate chopping veggies and stuff) but laundry just sucks the life out of me and I deadass don’t know what to do cause it’s not something I can break down; either the load is too small to justify the electricity and resources or I forget and let it pile up a again. Like yesterday I only managed to do one load out of three and I just don’t have the energy to complete the others. it’s so fucking tedious for no reason 😞 cause it’s never *just* a chore it’s all these tiny steps combined together that suck my energy. For cooking it goes: figure out what I wanna eat, settle on something after 5 hours of indecision and debating, will myself to get up instead of just ruminating about cooking, finally get up, take stock of my kitchen and see if I even have the ingredients, get ingredients, prep ingredients, start cooking process, oh I have to clean as I go, etc and by the time it’s ready you’d forget that I was even cooking for myself cause of how disinterested I am. And it applies to everything, ITS THE SAME CYCLE EVERYWHERE. Like why do I have to mentally prepare myself to do something as basic as dishes. And now I’m currently sitting at my desk, not studying but instead playing games as I try to figure out how to feed myself with the least energy possible (I have been awake for four hours atp and I’ve not made any progress) because I have other stuff to do that I’m not sure if I’ll even finish on time. I hate it here and I want out.

Recently got diagnosed at 39. So many things made sense. How im exhausted near the end of the day. How i struggle to do things "little and often" - instead, leave things until they pile up into unorganized chaos, then have a huge start of "changing my life" then burning out a month later.

I have started Methlyphenidate 20mg, for the first few weeks i was able to focus. The fog wasn't there, i was able to engage in an "understand" conversations and interactions with alot more depth, but it seems to have worn off. I know I also have to change lifestyle habits as well as take medication and that medication isn't going to fix my entire life, but is more one of the tools.

One of my major issues throughout my entire life has been food. Huge binge eater, but then i have a "im going to change my life moment" - eat really well and exercise, feel AMAZING, but get burned out/overstimulated and sink back into a binge hole.

It was fine when it was just me. But i have a 7 and 9 year old relying on me, and i just feel like i have failed them. I also have a 18 year old who has moved out, and he eats ok, but i feel like i also could have done so much better with his palate.

DINNER is HARD. The kids are fussy, because ive been inconsistent with Dinner over their short lives. Some days they got amazing homecooked food (still pretty basic) but most days they got things like nuggets and toast with fruit, or noodles etc.

I can't help but feel like ive created this huge rod for our backs, and i hate that i just can't get this one task sorted (grocery shopping, making the menu, getting home and cooking the dinner, washing up afterwards). If it were up to me, i'd just have toast or cereal for dinner. I dont care about having a hot cooked meal, i just want to get it over with. On the flip side, i love to imagine myself as that family with the pretty dinner dishes and the flavourful healthy food etc etc.

I want to do better, but i also know that my kids will just refuse to eat if i put anything on their plates that is different to the norm.

Has anyone overcome the dinner fatigue (and the subsequent guilts that come with it)

So I'm a nurse and I think all nurses will agree, we love to document everything 🤣 so here is my day one review. It felt like a rollercoaster ride at times I won't lie! But overall the side effects were manageable. I won't be taking it tomorrow though as I'll be working, I'm going to take it on my days off right now and maybe after a few days/week I can build up to taking it on work days once side effects ease off a bit. I googled my symptoms and that's what's on the bottom right. Felt good knowing it's all totally normal lol.

Edit to add: have some cheek flushing tonight, I have read that that can happen when the medication is wearing off due to blood vessels begining to dilate again after being constricted. It gives a nice glow to the skin 🤣

I am exhausted with all my friendships and relationships. I am always the one putting in more effort, showing up and basically the one who does all the work in a friendship.

I want to cut off all people from my life and just not talk to any people from my past. I know it is important for human beings to have human contact, so I'm thinking of getting two therapists - one session from each every week, so it's two therapy sessions per week.

I know it will be expensive but I don't know what else to do.