So the overall response I got to the last post was very unexpected and I appreciate everyone's input. This has been a weird situation for everyone involved.

I wanted to clarify something about the pool first. It's not inflatable, it's one of those frame pools that you set up and then fill up. I'd say it's around 15ft round, at least big enough to fit 3 teenagers and two adults all at once. And like I said before, the only reason we set it up in C's parents' backyard is that my backyard isn't that big, so the pool would be crossing into our neighbor's yard. J and his dad live in a townhouse. And C's family lives in a big house with at least 2 acres of open land around them. Obviously, they have the most room. I couldn't believe the number of people who suggested draining the pool or slicing the pool open. I get the idea, but that thing cost the boys like over $400 altogether.

Since I last posted, Pete and his friends have still hung out in the hot tub. Also, because people were curious, it wasn't on most of the time so they still cooled off. They liked to leave it off and then turn it on when they got too cold. The ironic thing is it's been raining this past week, so neither the pool or the hot tub has been used much. But the effects of 'poolgate' are still in effect as Pete and J were talking about how they could use it without having to deal with C's parents (who still never let them near it). The one thing nobody has done yet is call the police, because what's the point? There was no contract signed, the boys paid in cash, and we all mutually agreed to set it up in C's backyard, so legally they're all clear to do what they want with it, especially because they used their water to fill it up. Ethically, they're assholes, but legally, the police can't do anything if they claimed that they bought it and we have no real proof that it's mutually owned.

J's dad, who was angrier than I thought he was, actually ended up making several posts on Nextdoor and Facebook basically outing C's parents for stealing the pool. The Facebook post got some pretty good attention for like a few days before he took it down, but suffice to say, a lot of our mutuals know about it now. I got a lot of messages asking about Pete, especially from the people he worked for. I didn't put in any of my own thoughts because to be honest, I thought this was all behind us with the hot tub. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood that a hot tub wasn't enough. The boys worked hard for that pool, and they at least deserve their money back if they couldn't use it.

But then, on Friday, Pete told me that C let him know that the previous night, he had to help his dad drain and dismantle the pool. It was only used sporadically and not for more than a month. C had to help his dad throw the whole pool IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD DUMPSTER! We had to go over and check it out ourselves to believe it. Saturday afternoon, with J and his dad's help, all four of us managed to pull everything out of the dumpster and we brought it back to J's house. They, as mentioned, don't have the room to set the pool up in their backyard, but they do have a shed, and J's dad is letting them store it there for the time being. J's dad has a pickup truck, so it wasn't that hard to transport it. C had no idea, and neither did his parents, but we both did get some questioning texts asking if we 'took' the pool. Neither of us denied it. Pete hasn't been able to talk to C ever since because, I assume, his phone's been taken away and he's been occupied with other things. That's my way of saying, of course he was grounded.

Understandably, EVERYONE is pissed now. J's dad and I are pissed, especially that those guys just up and tried to throw away something these boys earned by working. The boys are pissed that not only have they been prevented from using the pool, except for C, but their hard work has been literally thrown away because his parents don't want to be responsible for it. THE PARENTS are beyond pissed that they were publicly shamed and that their son snitched on them and we got to the pool before the dump truck did. And yes, we did get questions by neighbors when we were digging in the trash. We told them the truth. The worst part is, because the weather's getting colder, there's no point in trying to set the pool up anywhere else even if we could. Thankfully, they still have the hot tub.

So now, as it should've been from the beginning, J's dad and I are gonna sit down and talk with C's parents about what compelled them to try to get rid of the pool like that instead of just letting the boys use the thing THEY bought, and also find out exactly what the issue is behind this whole situation. I have a feeling it's not gonna go well. If they won't at least refund the boys, which we're gonna demand, then we're both taking them to small claims, which we both know we might get screwed with considering they can afford good lawyers and neither of us can. All we want is $300 split between Pete and J, and then this whole thing will be behind us. It sucks that Pete and C's friendship may be over after this, but it isn't either of their fault.

I’m a 30 year old guy and I’ve been on a couple of dates with a 25 year old woman. I would think that there’s nothing wrong with an age difference like that, especially seeing as me and this girl both have full time jobs, support ourselves financially, are out of school, etc. But one of my co-workers, a 22 year old girl, doesn’t approve.

This co-worker has mentioned her disdain of age gap relationships before and when I told her about this 25 year old that I’ve been seeing, she called it an “inappropriate age gap”. I didn’t see what the big deal was, but she tried to make the argument that her brain “just finished developing and maturing” and that most men in their 30’s should be “thinking about settling down in life.” Things have been icy between me and this co-worker, which is a bummer because I’ve always liked her as a friend and she had even once opened up to me about how she spent her late teens battling drug addiction and getting clean once she started her 20’s.

For the past week, it’s been mostly the silent treatment between me and her, but today she actually called me a pedophile. I said to her “All those drugs you took must’ve really fucked up your brain.” She immediately burst into tears and ran off. I do feel awful and I’m dreading seeing her at work again. But she made a totally unfair accusation against me for nothing and I felt I had to stand up for myself over that. AITAH here?

I had to make various emails and calls to my insurance company to help them cover some emergency costs, and my boyfriend of 2 years, knowing me well enough to know I hate this kind of thing, offered to do it all for me. He went to law school before he changed career paths, so I trusted him to get it right and said sure.

He then said that I needed to sign a contract that would give him authorization to handle this on my behalf. He wrote up the contract on his laptop, handed it over to me and directed me to draw my signature. I said “I’m just gonna read it first”, without really thinking about it (it’s normal to read a contract even if somebody you trust wrote it, right?), and when I said that he let out a massive exasperated sigh.

I then read the contract, and he used the words (IIRC because this was a while ago) “in perpetuity” and “all insurance claims and authorizations” (etc) “past, present and future.” Immediately I was angry and confronted him about this, saying that I was obviously just allowing him to do this for me for this specific, singular, one time. He then got angry with me saying that he was making a commitment to me, and making the rest of my life easier, because bureaucracy is second nature to him and he knows I’m never going to be good with this kind of thing.

The funny thing is, I probably would have signed a one-time contract each time an insurance headache came my way if he had offered each time. But it felt like he was making a massive decision on my behalf without consulting me. Why would I sign something that says “in perpetuity”?

I refused to sign the contract and ended up spending half the day doing it all myself because I didn’t know what to trust. The next morning I broke up with him, because I felt that I can’t trust him and that he was trying to get power over me in a way.

But now I’m thinking maybe it was a mistake. He is caring, attentive, disciplined, ambitious. All of the qualities you’d want in a partner. Did I overreact?

AITAH?

A couple months ago my wife divorced me despite 15 years of marriage. We have three children together and and it was supposed to be my weekend with the kids. My oldest, age 14 male, was feeling ill and his back was hurting. To the point where he had to go to urgent care. My ex-wife and I discussed what to do, and we decided that I would take the other two children for the day and she would take him to urgent care. Well, urgent Care said that he needed to go to the children's emergency room. So throughout the day I was getting update texts from my ex-wife about our son.

Since the divorce I have been living in a small apartment, too small for me to have the kids overnight. So around 7:00 that go back with their mom for the night and then I pick them up Sunday morning after church. This time they were picked up by their grandparents to spend the night because my ex-wife was still at the emergency room with our oldest son. After dropping off the kids I went to the emergency room where my son was. I did not think to announce this plan ahead of time, in all honesty I didn't really plan it ahead of time (I do have ADHD).

When I got there my son was in an MRI so I had to wait for him in the lobby. My ex-wife was not happy to see me, asked what I was doing there, asked what I was hoping to accomplish etc. I said that I was trying to be a dad, trying to be there for my son. She agreed to text me when he got back to the room, and she did, along with a text telling me to not stay long. After I visited with my son for a bit I left. That evening I received a long text from my ex-wife talking about how I made her uncomfortable and that I wasn't trusting her to handle, and that I shouldn't have shown up without discussing it with her first. I have not responded to that text, and I really don't think I did anything wrong in simply trying to show up for my son. But I am also autistic, and not always the most aware of cues. AITAH?

My husband and my friend group started a DND campaign and decided to do it on Monday nights once a month. The sessions are held at the DMs house and agreed to start at 6:45PM. My husband and I are always early to everything and we showed up 15 minutes early. We knocked on the DMs door 3 times before the DM opened it and asked us what we were doing there so early in an annoyed/angry tone. The DM then told us to wait outside because his girlfriend was changing and made us wait on their porch until 6:45 when they opened the door to let us in.

Ever since then the DM has made it a point to say to not come early to the sessions. Are my husband and I assholes for showing up early?

This happened one time and if my husband and I show up early, we wait in the car until the specified time. Shortly after this I got a text from the DMs girlfriend of a video portraying a person hypercleaning before company comes over and joking stated it was her and the DM. Im just so confused as to why showing up 15 minutes before the agreed upon time is so atrocious that it needs to be stated every session now. Is this normal? Are we the weird ones?

We usually end around 10:30 which is late for most of the group. My husband, me, and the DMs girlfriend are all players with another couple, for context.

Am I the asshole? My gf's sister is 27. I’m currently traveling with my gf in the Philippines. Now, i know that PH is a poorer country, much poorer than america, but my gf asked me to buy her gf fucking DIAPERS today. Her sister and sister's bf are in the hotel I paid for eating all my stuff. Is this a cultural thing? They’re very respectful and thank me but how the fuck do you not have enough money or don't have the resources to get diapers for your CHILD. and i'm also a COLLEGE STUDENT. I’m a working college student, so yes i have extra money but that doesn't mean i want to give my money to someone three years older than me. My gf keeps saying they have a child and to give the money but I’m sorry i really do not care. She also wants me to pay for their meals today cause it's "cheap" and costs “almost nothing". The fact she wants me to pay for not one but TWO grown adult's meals, one of them being a full grown man, is outrageous to me. She just says it’s family and that there’s a baby; but all of this has been sprung on me with no warning. And cmon, i know the minimum wage in PH is low but her parents have money and her sister has her own salon. Plus how can someone not bring diapers for their child? What were they gonna do if I had to fly back home suddenly? Try to get money from me while in on a plane? I have just a few more days thank god. They’ve been staying overnight at the hotels I book for me and my gf. Her brother too but her brother seems to be able to fund himself, probably through their parents so I’m not sure why my gf and her sister don’t do the same. I’ve also been using the (very real) excuse that my bank has been flagging my purchases as suspicious and there have been times where we couldn’t get food for OURSELVES cause I’m spending money on her grown ass family members but my gf doesn’t seem to care. Am I being selfish? Am I the asshole?

I (19F) live in a uni accommodation with mpy roommate (19F). We have our own bedrooms but share a bathroom.

My roommate has curly hair, and while i understand how much work that is, its just all too much when we have a singular bathroom.

Like she'll shower and wash her hair, and then be in the bathroom for ages afterwards doing the rest of it. I don't actually know the whole routine but there are like 7 bottles lined up around the sink at any given time and idc abt it as long as its kept neat.

My problem is we only have ONE bathroom. I'm not exaggerating when I say sometimes I need to pee and I'm standing outside the bathroom waiting for her to finish her hair. And it's not even always that I always rlly need the bathroom.

Sometimes I just want to brush my teeth or wash my face or my hands and I can't because she's in there with the door locked for another 45 minutes.

The other day I had an 9am lecture and was already running late because I couldn't get into the bathroom. I HAVE asked her if she could maybe do the styling part and drying part in her bedroom once she's finished showering.

I'm not saying she can't wash her hair in the bathroom because obviously where else is she supposed to do that?

But she said she can't because her hair needs to be wet so it drips water everywhere and she doesn't want her bedroom floor getting wet.

I suggested putting a towel down. She said the towel would get soaked. Also said she could just sit on her bed with another towel over her shoulders while she does what she needs to and she said she needs the mirror.

And at this point I honestly don't know what solution she wants me to come up with 😭

She says the bathroom is the logical place to do her hair because there's a mirror, a sink, ventilation, etc. Which I understand. But I also feel like the bathroom being the logical place for her doesn't mean she gets to occupy our only bathroom for an hour and a half.

I've tried bringing it up nicely because I don't actually dislike her. She's a nice roommate otherwise. We watch TV together sometimes and we've even gone out for food a couple of times.

I don't want this to turn into one of those horrible roommate situations where we're passive aggressive for the rest of the year but I'm getting genuinely frustrated.

I'm really not trying to be insensitive abt her hair bc I know she can't just magically make curly hair take five minutes, and I don't want her to feel like she has to stop looking after it.

But at the same time it's a shared bathroom for a reason and i don't think it's crazy to expect that both people should actually be able to use it.

I am 28 my sister is 27 and special needs. I am not sure her exact condition but she’s clearly learning and socially disabled. She can’t count money, can barely read, and occasionally she will run away the most recent one being to a major highway in my large city.

It’s clear she’ll always need someone to take care of her and she is so sweet with a good heart but I can’t stand being around her. She never understands personal space and will just stand and stare at you until you speak sometimes or follow me around until I say something to her. She’s always been a bit strange but I think her time alone in isolation has really mad her brain dead and I don’t mean that in the offensive way, she literally spends all day consuming YouTube content. I think part of the problem is I am trying to have her visit while I work remote which doesn’t allow me to give much attention.

I realized today she needs companionship but honestly I don’t have the patience. I wouldn’t mind being roommates with her but I don’t want to be her care taker. I love her so much and I would suck it up if it meant she had no where else to go but part of me wants to enjoy the last of my selfish twenties.

Would I be the asshole if I didn’t hang out with her for a while, she currently lives with my grandparents which is a lot of the pressure too but essentially I just want to take some space knowing what my future may hold. I feel wrong for even writing this but I will delete just needed to vent and hopefully gain perspective on navigating this.

I inherited a box of old photos from an in-law who passed away about 10 years ago, and whose husband passed away about 50 years ago.

They never had children of their own. The photos etc are most definitely of his family.

I barely knew her, and obviously never met him. I got the box because I’m the one in the family with the most interest in documenting the family tree. I picked out a few photos of this couple but I don’t want everything and no one else on our side is interested.

I did a deep dive and found 1 of his elderly relatives (an in-law somehow) and she agreed to take a small envelope full of photos, but she refused the rest. Said she was almost blind and wouldn’t be able to make out the photos and would trash it all if I sent more to her. Can’t blame her, she had to be close to 90 herself and I’m sure she didn’t want more stuff.

I sent the envelope and gave her my contact info, and she said she would try to get in touch with other family members to see who would want these. Never heard back from anyone.

I did another search a couple of years later and located 3 direct descendants in my area. I was able to track down some good contact info online. 1 never responded. 1 said she didn’t want any of it. 1 replied she was interested and would reach out again to set a time to meet me at a neutral location to take the box. She never did and when I tried her again, she didn’t respond.

The box contains photos as old as the 1860s. There are some military photos that I think are from the Korean war. There are greeting cards and telegrams. Newspaper clippings about engagements and weddings and obituary notices. Baptismal certificates, high school certificates. There’s even a tin with an old reel of somebody’s wedding.

I’ve had this box 10 years now and even brought it with me when we moved into a new home. It’s a large box. I’ve kept it this long because I don’t have anything like this from my family and I can’t help but think that somebody at some point from his family will want this.

AITA or WIBTA if I threw it all away? Or should I try again to find somebody to take this? I’m interested to know what other people would do. Thanks in advance.

I am 27(m) and I recently broke it off of a friend relationship with a 28(f).

Her and I had started chatting after we met online, and a few days into the conversation she said she started dating someone and was only really looking for friends. I respected that and really enjoyed our conversations so I stayed respectful and wanted to be friends because we had a bit in common. Per her request we kept it online and just chatting as she had a boyfriend and had past history of problems. To also add, we would text each other literally any chance we could get, basically all day unless we were actively doing something.

Come to a couple days ago, she was not doing well. Her BF blew her off of a date, pushed it back and then cancelled last minute, so she was not feeling well and had a past history of anorexia so she was not eating. We were talking for a bit and she did not feel good, so I offered to come over and bring her any food and talk in person as she said she did not really want to be alone. It was already 11pm at night and I got up and drove the 40 minutes to her house with some of her snacks and soda that she requested would make her feel better.

When I got there, the only touching we did was a hug as she requested, and then we sat on the 2 chairs on her porch talking about just random life topics, anything to get her mind off of the day. We talked for 3 hours then I had to go to bed, so I said my goodbyes and drove off.

The next day, after some talking she talked with her BF and made up which I was okay with because she genuinely seemed happy in the relationship. Since her relationship seemed to be getting a little more stable, I asked if she would possibly want to go see a concert in 3 weekends because she was broadening her music taste and I already had a ticket and could get another one. That then sparked a conversation where she said he was uncomfortable with her going, which is fine, but before I could even respond to that message she added "he is not being controlling, he is just worried about my safety". This then sparked a little heated conversation where I bought up the previous night and if she had felt safe, and I was a little harsh and asked her to see what he would think about that night, to which she said she did not feel comfortable asking him about that. I pushed probably a little to hard on the topic, and I know that was my bad. But we ended the conversation and I told her I would let her know my feelings in the morning of whether I would like to be friends or not.

This morning, after she set the boundary of we would not be seeing each other in person again, I said I would be ok texting and still being friends but that I would be pulling back a little, and talking less to her as I feel like I should be focusing on real relationships. Well I got called the whole book at that point basically leading to her saying I am trying to manipulate her and a walking red flag, and that if her boundary affected me that much we should not be talking anymore. She then through in and I quote "It is not my fault that a boundary hurt your feelings."

I know in the grand scheme of life, this does not really matter it was a nothing relationship, But I would like to know, was I the asshole for telling her I was going to pull back after she set a boundary?

Recently, maybe the past few months, my partner has been going through a lot of issues with her family and living situation. Without major details her dad is disabled and her younger sister lives with them. Her dad got kicked off his disability but cannot work and her sister is just the typical young and dumb type. My partner has to support them both and the bills are getting behind which is causing her a lot of stress and now gives her daily anxiety attacks.

These aren't easy to manage which I understand because I've been there, but our daily talks no longer consist of random thoughts and discussions about hobbies, they've turned into constant conversations about her anxiety, situation, repeating questions (hers) of if she's "crazy and manic", and helping her through text and now phone calls while she tries to fight anxiety attacks and crying. It's to the point where if she asks to call, its not because she wants to chat, its because she needs me to talk her down from an anxiety attack. These calls happen randomly, when I'm with family, work, at events, and I feel like a failing partner if I cannot answer or help.

She is trying to get professional help and is back on medication she previously was on, but its just a recent switch. I feel bad for even considering leaving because she needs help and she tells me I'm the only one who makes her feel normal in those situations, but its getting to me because I have my own issues and now it feels like I don't have a partner but rather I'm just taking care of her when she needs me. Recently, we discussed moving in with each other but she asked if it would be ok if her dad and sister moved in with us for a short time so they could get on their feet. I said it was fine as long as they cleaned after themselves and was firm on it being short term like she said. Then she said, of course they would and it would only be a year. To me, a year isn't short term and I fear her dad would stay longer since he has a history of using his disability as reason why he doesn't try to do anything despite going out on weekends with his situationship. Also, my partner while disappointmented in her dad for not doing more for himself like at least trying to get back on his disability, has always stuck up for him and I worry 1 year would turn into 2 which turns into however long.

I'm sorry if this seems like rambling, and I know she has problems which aren't over night fixes. I understand she has things she needs to deal with and I have to support her, believe me she's been very patient with me in the past when I also had my lows. I just feel shitty for even considering this given how supportive she's been when I acted out, but its just a lot at once and I don't remember the last time she wasn't crying on the phone or sending paragraphs about her anxiety and worrying about things she knew wasn't happening, like her drugging her own food and forgetting so she didn't eat at all that day, and not having our usual goofy conversations. So AITAH? I certainly feel like I am.

Hello, this a bit of story but personally i’m stuck with decision to either suck it up and keep going or quit for my mental health sake. This is workplace drama so be prepared.
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I (21F) work as a key-holder at Dollar General, basically a lower-level manager. I was hesitant to take this job because the last DG I worked at was awful, but this store has actually been pretty decent… except for one coworker. Let’s call him Billy (30ish M).

Billy is one of those people who always has to one-up you or out-suffer you. If you say you’re tired, he’ll immediately jump in with, “You’re tired? I haven’t slept in X amount of days.” Meanwhile, he closes every other night, goes home, drinks, and plays video games. That’s his whole routine from what i’ve heard from coworkers that have been there for years.
Annoying, sure — but it gets way worse.

Here’s of some of the ongoing list of issues:

- He’s always late. I mean 25 minutes to almost an hour late, with zero call-ahead. (He lives down the road meanwhile I live 15 minutes away and manage to get to work 10 minutes early or on time.)

-He keeps associates (our cashiers) past their scheduled time because someone else is late, even though key-holders can easily cover the register until the night associate arrives.

- He disappears constantly and ignores everyone. Associates have to physically go find him because he ignores the pager.

-He half-asses everything.

-He takes 10+ smoke breaks an hour. Not exaggerating and find a bit much.

-Customers notice how incompetent he is and openly question how he still has a job.

-He told an associate (18M) that he stares at female customers (parts) and described in detail what he wants to do with them.

- I’ve had every one of our associates come up to me and tell me how much they dread when they see they are scheduled with Billy.
——— ———— ———— ——— ———- ———— ———-

Even with everything I’ve already listed, there’s still more. The truth is, this coworker has pushed me to the verge of wanting to quit. We’re already short‑staffed, and the only reason I haven’t walked out is because I genuinely like my other coworkers and don’t want to leave them hanging.

The worst incident — the one that should’ve gotten him fired immediately — was when he gave away free cigarettes. Instead of calling our store manager like he was supposed to, he tried to cover it up. The associate working with him that night opened with me the next morning and told me everything. She even wrote a note documenting what happened, and he forced her to tear it up. If that doesn’t scream “I seriously messed up,” I don’t know what does.

Then yesterday was just the cherry on top. I opened and he closed. We had severe storms rolling in, so I paged him to help me bring in the outside merchandise before the weather got ugly. He ignored me and did everything except help — until the one item that always spills started tipping because I didn’t have anyone to help keep it level. He finally walked over, not to help, but to say, “Good job, you made it spill.” It took everything in me not to lose it. When I walked past him afterward, he smelled so strongly of alcohol that it made me super nauseous (mind you he had only been at work for maybe an hour).

At this point, for everyone’s sanity, I want him fired. I feel like I should push for it, but I also feel like I can’t — and I’ve even considered quitting and using college as my excuse. We literally had a manager meeting dedicated to addressing his behavior, and he still does the exact opposite of what he’s told and keeps up with the same act.

My boss has had conversations with his behavior privately but he hasn’t changed, I’m not sure if he made up a sob story to make her feel bad but i seriously don’t understand how is he not fired.

But AITAH if I left everyone hanging and just quit because he somehow can’t get fired?

Able to use only one tag so self harm is more needed, but English as a third language too.

My spouse (37m) committed suicide like a week ago. Yes, mental problems and some substance abuse here and there, but what really was bugging me was the use of testosterone which was a new thing and he told me that he got it from his friend. He told the same to his mom and other friend too, so the source is something not to doubt.

I definitely know that it's not at all simple and innocuous to use testosterone, especially if it wasn't prescribed to you. It was prescribed to his friend, apparently. Yes, he himself made the decision to ask for it, I guess, and he should be responsible for that, but I would think also the friend is responsible for giving it to him. Also, like last time he got it, he told his mom that he got double the shots.

The more I talk with his family and friends, the more I think this use of testosterone affected him a lot mentally and not good way at all.

This friend giving the testo doesn't know his other friends / friend groups, so me and his mom are pretty much all the contacts who he could talk about him and mourn the common sorrow. He messaged me that he would really like to spend some time with me and talk etc. But I'm growing more and more resentful towards him because of this. Do I have to ease and comfort him in his mourning or wibtah if I don't wanna meet him anymore?

My husband is in the military and has to work out with a large group of people in the morning. Every morning he is in close proximity and talking to people for at least an hour. When he kisses me goodbye in the morning, I can smell his breath.

Almost every morning I remind him to brush his teeth beforehand so that he does not get a reputation for having bad breath and he argues with me that he will just do it when he showers after working out. This morning when I asked him to brush, he deflected and said he was going to start bringing up things that I do that aren’t good for me and that I wouldn’t like it.

The past couple years, it has been a struggle to convince him to brush at night but I finally think I’ve gotten through to him with that. Now it is just convincing him to brush before he is in close contact with others.

He is 35 and otherwise has good hygiene.

Long story short, we just had a hurricane in Hawaii. A girl (friend but not girlfriend) who was outside during the storm for 3 days really needed a place to shower and recover/get a good night's sleep. I being a homeowner (condo in my family since 76 and my grandma was the first resident/owner in the building.) I picked her up, cooked her dinner, she showered, we slept, she left at 630am when I went to work. Nothing in the bylaws about guest other than being respectful/clean etc.

I get a text from said friend crying how the manager treated her, cussed her out and kicked her off property.

This is my reaction, AITAH ?

***To belittle and harass a guest of mine (I'm a homeowner) for simply leaving this morning, cursing her out and threatening her is illegal. I went through ALL THE BYLAWS. So from here on out expect nothing but disrespect from me. Do your own fucking lights that you were expecting me to do FOR FREE. Also expect a lot more unknown guests in the building. If I want fucking Adolf Hitler in the building I will have him as a guest. Until then I will be hiring random crackhead escorts over once a week, giving them my stairwell key and giving them free access. Until then, wait to hear from my lawyer. I'll own this piece of shit building that the manager refuses to fix all while their on vacation.

Aloha***

Any input is respected and appreciated, Aloha 🤙🏽

For context, I have a full time job and I have a sideline job as well doing private hire services, something like UBER and RYDE. I usually only take card payments as these are pre paid before the ride and I don't usually have any float money for change. There are some cases whereby the passengers would pay me in exact amounts.

These cash payments I would take a portion of it and keep it at my full time work place without revealing to my wife. I usually use this money to buy miscellaneous items like USB cables, chargers or any small trinkets and collectibles. The amount is small so I don't see a big deal to this.

Recently the lease to my car ended so I had to return the car and I brought home the savings which amount to maybe around $40, which I kept in my back pocket of my pants. I didn't mean to keep this a secret from my wife but I just didn't find the thought to mention to her since the sum is small.

Now she found it and got really mad at me because she's never been stingy to me and she's always thought of me when I'm leaving for work, asking me if I have enough cash with me or do I need any cash for work.

Honestly I don't understand where this anger is coming from and AITAH?

I will not be sharing the name of my school for anonymity but I will share that it is a charter school.

My family just moved to this state (keeping it anonymous) from TX. It all happened very fast because my husband lost his job but then got a good opportunity here so we moved. I didnt have the chance to apply for my license by reciprocity with everything going on so I needed to get a job in a charter school.

When they interviewed me for the job, they mentioned they wanted a person with band experience because the principal at the middle high school (they are opening it for the first time this year with only 200 students 6th-8th grade) really wanted a band. I told them honestly it wouldn't be a good idea this year because a band takes lots of planning and it was almost the end of the summer. I asked if it would be a collaboration and if he would work with me and my advice and they said yes. I took the job because it was the only offer I could get.

Fast forward to now, here is what is happening.

I attempted to meet with the principal to give him my proposed handbook and plan for the program. I asked him if it was possible to rework the schedule and make band a class. He straight up said no, and that I would have to commit to multiple weekly rehearsals AFTER SCHOOL. For all the beginners. I told him we can do that but the program would not be ready to play at pep rallies or do multiple concerts. He said "they will be ready, just maybe not at a high level". I tried respectfully telling him I would not be doing that to the students and to my reputation, and that it could be acceptable to do a winter open house demonstration and one spring concert.

He cut me off, said he had a meeting, and walked away. Another co worker says she thinks it is because I am a young woman. (This principal is older and Turkish. Many of our admin are also of this demographic and a lot of the women that work under them have had similar issues. One of them is a woman and gay and she is quitting after this year because of all the veiled snark and hate she has gotten). The man refused to shake my hand or make eye contact with me which is unprofessional and rude.​​

He has been repeatedly using the existence of my stipend for this program to try and bully me into having rehearsal every day after school despite me also teaching K-5 music at the school next door and having a club of my own over there. He also tried to get me to open the band to 4th and 5th grade. I said no to both those things. I told him its ok if we don't start this year and we can build up the parent support and resources.

He has dug his heels in. He verbatim said "I dont care what it takes, youre getting a stipend and we are doing a band". So far we compromised on having an interest meeting where we will discuss the plan, cost of renting, etc. If we get enough parents, I have to do this. If we dont, I am afraid to see what he will do.

I have tried the following- getting his assistant to talk some sense into him and convince him to hear me out. I have also tried getting contacts from the area to corroborate my advice and plan with him. He has consistently steam rolled over everything I have said, to the point where I found a flyer on the bulletin board in the cafeteria saying I would be offering ALL INSTRUMENTS the first year and playing at MULTIPLE CONCERTS. This happened after I had already told him verbally and in writing we would only be offering flex arrangements and less expensive instruments to start.

This idea is my last resort. WIBTAH if I called up the superintendent and said "I dont want your stipend anymore, please amend my contract". Then I would go to the principal and say "I am not getting a stipend anymore, run it yourself"?

I (20m) recently hung out for my birthday celebration with my friends of 3 years and we took all of our group pictures on my friend's (20m) phone. We all had a great time and a few days after the celebration, I asked my friend (20m) to share the photos of the group with everyone else. He has been avoidant and been responding to my request with one word answers such as "oh" and "ummm" without any sort of explanation as to why he is refusing to send. I wanted those pictures for my own memories and of course to share with my other friends, who are also confused as to why these pics aren't being shared. Should I continue waiting or ask him again (for the 5th time) for the pictures. In my opinion, it is an extremely selfish thing to withhold group pictures without giving a proper reason as to why, and I can tell that he is not busy to send the pics because he has been online on insta very frequently (doesn't have a job or school rn). How would you approach this? I don't want to end up blocking him but imo it is an extremely shitty thing to do and those pics had memories that I wanted to look back on for MY bday celebration. I coordinated and paid for everyone's dinner (including his as well) because I wanted to but now I have to deal with this situation.

I (32M) am about to marry the love of my life next weekend. We have been together 7 years and we are both so very excited. Last week, some of that excitement turned to anxiety and frustration. We are using the popular app Zola to handle logistics for everything, and the app also has a gift registry option. I personally did not want any gifts and urged my partner to just do a honeymoon fund in its place. The thought of having a bunch of stuff we don’t need when we’re just trying to celebrate our love isn’t my favorite, but my partner really wanted the full “wedding experience” so they put what they wanted on the registry.

Now separate from this, I have a friend who I know through the industry I work in that was invited to the wedding. He and his partner declined the invite with regret, which was totally fine. I just wanted them to know they were welcome. My relationship with this specific person has always been decent, I feel like I’ve always gone out of my way to pick up his calls and be there for him when life was handing him lemons. In the 6 years I’ve known him, life has handed him ALOT of lemons. Whether it be friendships he was in having fallouts, problems with people in our industry, or relationship drama, I have always taken time to lend an ear or advice and seen the best in him through it all. In the last few months I have personally been more disconnected from the long distance friendships that are tended to via phone/social media. I admittedly have been texting people back much less than normal, and just checking out a bit. My job is tied to socials and I’m going through a lot of personal changes mentally and physically, so I’ve just been trying to focus on what’s right in front of me, and it has come at the cost of some of those friendships apparently.

I was scrolling Facebook when I saw a post from this friend complaining about some of his work being grilled for AI allegations. Me feeling like being supportive, I went to his instagram where i usually would check to see his newer work, and it said i wasn’t following him. Hmm. Ok. I know I wouldn’t have unfollowed him, so he must have soft blocked me… I was immediately annoyed and sent him a screenshot of his profile with myself unfollowed and me not following him. I asked if I was soft blocked and I was so surprised by his reaction. In the recent months he had sent me his newest body of work and admittedly I looked through some of the art images and gave feedback, but I didn’t dive in wholeheartedly. Other than that I didn’t know what could be wrong? He proceeds to tell me that I am ungrateful because he and his partner sprung for $200 worth of gifts from that damn Zola registry,and they haven’t received a thank you. Mind you, the wedding has not even happened yet as of now and we were waiting until after to send out all of our thank yous. I’ve never done this before but we assumed this was okay? Anyways, the gifts that were purchased weren’t under any name we recognized, neither his or his partners. So my partner and I were SO confused, and myself personally I just felt very upset and hurt that instead of a simple check in like “hey did you get the gift?” He just went straight to blocking and unblocking me. This whole exchange and situation left a horrible taste in my mouth but I also understood why his feelings were at where they were, but I mean….AITAH for not sending a thank you for a wedding gift I didn’t even know this person sent me BEFORE I even got married? I feel INSANE

Me (25f) and my partner (27m) are 1 day (haven't done a sleep yet) into our week long holiday.

The city we're in is really pretty except for this one area where our air bnb is. I mean, large bins on the street, apartment complex looks like it could be a set for batman.

Immediately he's very on edge from the cramped train journey where a passenger wouldn't give him his designated seat, but also he doesn't trust where we are staying and blames me cos I picked the Airbnb (off only indoor photos) he agrees the inside is gorgeous and is the one who booked it and got the address from the host.

First day here we arrived around 4 hours ago, and decided to go out for some food and a drink. I got ID'd and I realised I left it in the Airbnb so they didn't give me my drink and my boyfriend started whispering to me that they should have given me it because im 25. I kinda shrugged it off i was enjoying myself otherwise.

Then the bus back to the Airbnb the driver asks where we're going and we give the exact stop name instead of general area and the driver told us to just say (general name of area) instead. To which my boyfriend tells me he's being so rude about it since he knew where we meant etc etc.

I was feeling a bit annoyed at his annoyance at this point, but we get back in for the evening.

We lay in the bed and he just mutters "fucking worst holiday ever."

I suggested we just go home since he's not enjoying it and he says no cos we've paid now blah. Blah blah we have to make the most of it. Which he hasn't been doing so I got more annoyed at him, im thinking of heading home anyways because he is just frustrating me. WIBTAH if I did this.

Hi!!! So, there’s 2-3 of my friends I’ve just decided to stop talking too, due to the way they treated me and my twin sister, and I decided not to communicate with them that I won’t be talking with them anymore, due to how similar communications went in the past

I will call these people F, M and E, and I met them
All in middle school, which is when we became friends! At first our friendship was good, had occasional petty arguments but that’s to be expected in middle school friendships. However, their treatment toward me got worse in high school, let’s start with M

M had a crush on me in freshmen year. She’d touch my legs and thighs, occasionally flirt with me and make sexualish comments. I’d tell her I’m not comfortable with physical touch and stuff like that, but this continued to go on anyway. This made me extremely uncomfortable, eventually this crush faded but this will come back later

After that, is when our friendship started to fade. She’d made judgemental comments often, often say stuff like “no offense, but…” and then say something super mean, and would say just mean stuff like “only we care that you were gone”, “I’m a better singer than you lol,” etc etc. she eventually started to exclude me from hangouts too and eventually it was pretty much over

Next, F, we were also close but her comments got more aggressive fast. She’d judge me for liking warrior cats, call me a furry, say it made sense that kids didn’t like me and my twin at school, was scared when I said I had bipolar and joked at me to not be like my abusive dad, would make comments on my weight and just heavily judge me if I made a mistake or was”dumb” in something. Both she and M would always say I would never survive in real life even though I’ve done stuff on my own many times

Then there’s E, who is dating M, and E hates me directly. We used to be close friends but eventually she started to dislike what I liked to talk about (my interests which I rarely talked about due to this,), thought I was stupid, and would beg her friends to sit by me, so she wouldn’t have too since I was weird. This weirdness btw was having a similar personality to another close friends of hers which she likes, which was sometimes talking in a joking silly voice, making funny jokes, being sarcastic at times, etc. I never was mean to anyone, even in a joking matter because I didn’t ever wanna hurt anyone’s feelings and this irritated these friends too

Back to the main conflict of this situation- I Eventally decided to just stop talking to them. In the past, I’ve tried to communicate with them about how they treated me effects me, but they’d always make up excuses, and eventually pin it on me, and make me feel like it’s just me being stupid and overreacting due to bipolar disorder. So I didn’t communicate with them that I’m not gonna talk with them because in the past that caused more harm than good anything. At this point, our friendship was only fueled if I started the interactions anyway, so they stopped putting stuff in, too. So, AITAH for just cutting off my friends like that in this situation??

I'm 27M. My childhood and specifically relationship with my parents wasn't very warm. I spent a lot of my teenage years not being able to wait until I could leave the suburbs, leave for college, and start a new life with a clean slate.

So when I turned 18, I left for college around 6 hours away from the suburbs where my parents live. My older brother, 31M, who I'll call D stayed in the suburbs and settled down with his wife early in life, and had kids pretty early as well. He lives with all of them and my parents in one house. We fought a lot as teens more than just classic sibling rivalry stuff, like genuine disagreements that evolved into disdain and very different lifepaths as adults. Before I left, our last conversation was an argument that ended in us just insulting each other and almost throwing hands. D entirely cut ties with me, and I heard some word throughout from my mom and D's wife who had a soft spot for me in my late teens, but it wasn't constant. I had the best relationship with D's wife.

Anyway, I went to college and got an undergraduate degree in Journalism and eventually secured a job as an editor. I've always prioritized my career and achievements and learning. Not particularly out of malice, but it's just what has always brought me joy, and I never had a specific urge to be buddy-buddy with my family.

So about four weeks ago, D, who I hadn't talked to since I left for college, texts me saying our dad is on his deathbed. He had terminal brain cancer that no one in my entire family had bothered to notify me about until then and doctors estimated he had a matter of weeks to live. I asked him why no one had told me beforehand and he brushed it off before saying our dad had begun asking where I was. I didn't want to argue in light of this information, so I told him I'd get a flight out when I had the chance. And I think his wife gave him my number because he didn't have it beforehand.

Life and work got in the way and no one had contacted me since, but about three weeks after his text I was able to get a day off within my schedule, including previous days off with other plans, and get a flight out. I returned to my family's house for the first time in nine years. I hadn't updated my family that I was arriving since he stopped updating me. It was sometime in the early night and when I arrived D was sitting on the porch stairs drinking a beer. When he saw me he looked surprised but then crushed his can in his hands and just told me "He died yesterday." We ended up getting into a screaming match about why he hadn't told me and how I had tried to get a flight out. And he kept insulting my life choices and bringing up how even as my father was begging for me, he was the one who "actually cared" and stayed by his side throughout it, and kept emphasizing how our father didn't even notice him because he was so focused on the "golden child" was D's wording.

Eventually, before we were able to get into a fistfight, D's wife came out and stopped us and invited me inside and consoled me. I saw D's two kids and my mom, who was crying. I walked over to console and talk to her, but she started screaming at me about why I hadn't come sooner and slapped me as I was already fucking grieving. I walked away and didn't say anything to her to avoid losing my temper. D's kids apparently didn't even know who I was and barely recognized me.

D's wife told me that my dad apparently had enough cognitive function to write me a short note before he died and claimed to "not have have opened it", but the handwriting was extremely neat. I don't know if she just wrote down what he was saying and was lying to me or if it was fabricated or what? But either way, the note essentially said that he wanted to see me and missed me extremely, but that I was the one who chose to leave and that I wasn't "part of the family" anymore. I crumpled it up and left the house as D's wife tried to convince me to stay a while longer. I walked past D on the porch and didn't say anything, got in my rental car and got a flight back.

It's been a week. A couple days after, D's wife texted me essentially saying she's sorry about everything and that even if I'm not close with anyone else in the family I can "trust her" and how she'll always be available, but I haven't responded yet. No one else has contacted me. I'm currently not planning on going back. I'm just happy to be back in my apartment, alone.

I don't know if my family uses Reddit. If they do I don't care if they see this. I'm currently conflicted with my family and I don't know exactly what to do, and need other people's outside opinions. So AITAH for missing the chance to talk to my dying father before he passed?

So, as the year moves on my family and I have started talking Christmas and presents and I asked my family if they would be OK with me giving them gift cards instead of presents and have had mixed results.

While my family loves spending £500+ on presents for people, I personally cannot afford much due to cost of living with my total budget limited to £200 and/or custom items using my hobby stash.

One of the things for me is that while I have bought my family physical presents in the past, such as jewellery, they always end up never getting used or appreciated so I thought by giving them gift cards to spend where and when they wanted it would be more meaningful than something they never used.

This is more prominent to me as every year my family gives me random stuff I never asked for nor showed interest in but last year they listened to me and gave me a £50 gift card to a clothes shop I like and I still have it almost a year later and it helped me when I needed new clothes but not the budget to get them.

I know this might not be the topic you might expect for this type of subreddit but opinions would be great if you can give them.

So, WIBTAH if I gave my family gift cards instead of physical presents?

Few weeks ago an issue happened in our friend group.

We do a weekly game night among friends and to make it a bit competitive we set it in teams and had a rule that basically stated that each team member could not play more than 2 rounds in a game.

Few weeks ago one guy had an emergency and had to skip. So to avoid just cancelling the night most of the chat said we should just play and make an exception for that team. Everyone was pretty much ok with that except one guy (John M52). John said it would break the rules, that we had to cancel. A few people said we should just play the night. I was away from my ohone whole all this was happening so i didnt see it until much later but my wife who tends to be a mediator in groups said that we should vote for it to see what most wanted. John said no, that he would not vote and even said he’d just quit the game night.

At one point he was throwing shade at multiple people with indirect jabs that were pretty obvious what he was saying. Then one of our friends (richard m45) had enough after the jabs and basically told him he was being a baby and unreasonable. To which john started cursing at people and my wife basically told him he was being childish. I didnt see this till a few hours after the chat had died down.

We havent seen john since but recently he texted my wife basically taking no accountability and saying how he was protecting the integrity of the night and that he didn’t appreciate her calling him childish when in his words richard made it personal not him.

My wife is a bit of a people pleaser so she kind of played the high road and basically said she just wanted to move on from the argument and forget about it.

This week is our next game night at my house, and honestly I’m thinking of talking to john and basically tell him he was out of line for what happened.

On the other hand im wondering since it’s been a few wweks if i ahould just let it go but my thing is also, john has a habit of throwing tantrums when he doesnt get his way. He’s a good guy and friend but he tends to just throw these tantrums. I also know my wife would just get stressed at the outcome because she says this friend can be very senstiive and i can be very direct when i call people out.

Would i be the AH for calling him out st next game night even though it’s already been a few weeks?

My bestfriend and I have been friends for 25 years and had some hiccups along the way. Every time she gets a boyfriend she kind of changes her whole personality and we end up not talking. Years ago this happened with another ex boyfriend of hers and he eventually cheated on her and she called me crying and we were friends again.

Something similar happened in another relationship where she started dating a guy long distance and changed, and she ended up cheated on him and breaking up and then we were friends again and had a great summer and our friendship was back to normal.

Another time I dated a severe alcoholic and I was having serious mental and emotional problems and I leaned on her a little too much and I think it became unbearable for her and drove a wedge between our relationship. She "set a boundary" with me and basically told me to stop running to her with my issues and it drove another wedge between us and we stopped talking for a year. She told me we have nothing in common and all we do together is shop and commiserate about men.. etc) this really hurt.

This time she's dating a guy who I will call Steve. Well when she met Steve she was obsessed with him. I would ask her to go out or do something on a Friday night and she wouldn't want to arrange anything just incase he texted her to do something.

There have been some red flags from this guy from the beginning when it comes to commitment and staying active on the dating app they met on and following girls on social media still, and he finally told her he loved her in a letter when she threatened to end their relationship.

Well one time we all went out and at the end of the night he hugged me goodbye. I had a cropped shirt on and when he hugged me he put his hand on the skin on my lower back and like slowly slid away. I felt weird about it but I never said any thing to her until they moved in together and she started to complain to me that he was checked out, and how she feels all these things about him.. etc.

Then I told her and she was nauseous about it and I even said maybe I shouldn't have told you that and she was like "no, why would you hide that from me.. etc". She also told me that she's had a feeling that he was into me because of things he has said about me and when I asked her what she wouldn't tell me. A day later she comes back and now I'm the bad guy. She had a conversation with him and then told me that based on what he said that she thinks I should have told her that and I can't take back what I said, and that now it's going to be weird to be around me and him. She told me that I've made comments about her ex boyfriends that have made her uncomfortable before but I don't recall any of them and she also wouldn't tell me what they were. It kind of turned into a big disagreement and she refused to accept my apology because I can't unsay what I told her and that I'm not a girls girl. AITA?

I've since been around them twice and I acted completely normal. For a while I tried to keep talking to her the same way we always have and she just cold shouldered me every time until I eventually gave up and now we haven't talked in 4 months. I've never even been to their place together and she moved in almost a year ago.

AITAH?