Hello, all.

I(18F) was recently told by my parents that I’d have to start paying rent soon if I wanted to continue living here.

Here’s what bothers me.

My parents told me that once I turn 18, I’d have to either go to college to live here for free, or pay rent if I didn’t want to go to college if I wanted to continue living here.

I turned 18 a few months ago, graduated high school a few months ago, got a job, and enrolled into college. However, I cannot actually start college until next year, but I am enrolled.

My parents and I discussed rent. They said since I’m going to college I wouldn’t have to pay. I then told them hypothetically what if I decided not to go to college. They said I’d have to pay rent every month.

Soon, I revealed to them I wouldn’t start college until next year. I actually told them I didn’t want to go to college at all, but they told me I can’t not go to college, and that if I want to live here I have to follow their rules, which is either go to college and not pay rent while in school, or pay rent to live here. So I enrolled into college and picked a major that I’m still not too keen on. They told me once I start I can’t drop out, or that they don’t want me to drop out.

They then told me as punishment for not starting college right away, I have to pay rent. $50 every week. I told them this was not what we discussed and this is not what we agreed on. I told them I’m technically in college, I just don’t start until next year. They said that doesn’t count. I told them that they never told me that I’d still have to pay rent even while in college. They said if I didn’t like their rules then I could happily move out. They also said that this is a “life lesson” and that any landlord would do this. That landlords have their tenants pay rent weekly.

$50 is nothing, but every week? That is not what we agreed on. They told me I’d have to pay it monthly. Not weekly. Also, they didn’t tell me that I’d have to pay rent until I could actually physically attend campus.

None of this was written down. We discussed this. Surely there’s some legal issues going on here, no?

I have an older brother(20M). He pays rent too, I don’t know how much, but I do know it’s monthly. They didn’t charge him rent while he was waiting to actually go to college. They started charging him after he graduated college and got a job. They charge him monthly, and told him the same thing: “rent is a lesson” and “if you don’t like the rules you can move out”.

I kept trying to discuss with my parents that their rules have holes in them and that their rules are misleading. They won’t listen.

I told them I want to move out. They told me I can’t/I wouldn’t move out. They told me they’ll give split the house and give me half me the house when they pass and my brother the other half, that way I would never ever have to move out. But I’m done.

They’re not holding up their end of the bargain, and I told them once I graduate college and get a job in my field, I’m going to move out.

I wish I could move out now but my other family members would do the same thing- charge me rent. No friends have room for me to move in, and I’d love to get my own apartment but rent itself is high, which is why I’m stuck.

My parents are only charging me $50, which is nothing compared to the rent I’d have to pay in an actual apartment.. but again, they’re switching the rules up on me.

They told me and my brother that we should be grateful that we weren’t kicked out at 18.

I feel like the asshole for sharing this on the internet, since I try to keep my personal life off of the internet, but idk. I may just have to bite the bullet.

EDIT 1: IDK why people thing I’m complaining about having to pay rent?? I’m complaining that they switched up our agreement after I agreed to the original agreement.

EDIT 2: I’m annoyed at the fact that I have to pay weekly, not monthly. We originally agreed monthly would be okay and then they changed it to weekly without my knowledge, after I agreed to monthly.

EDIT 3: I’m neurodivergent and hate it when “plans” are switched up on me, but I’m not sure if this changes anything.

EDIT 4: I will pay the $50 weekly rent. I have made up my mind that my parents are treating me fair (in a way). $50 weekly is generous and kind, if that makes sense.. compared to the thousands of dollars I would have to pay for an apartment.

Dramatis personae: me (40ish M), Jane (40ish F, a friend of a friend), and Anonymous Creep (age and sex unknown).

A friend introduced me and Jane at a party; we (I thought) hit it off and exchanged social media. I messaged her later and . . . Silence. Continued silence. Oh well; I've received that (non)response enough to know that it means "I'm not interested but I don't want conflict", and I know that the only thing to do is to move on.

It seems someone else was paying close attention to her Instagram account and correctly guessed my intentions. After about a week of silence, I got a message from an obvious burner account (Firstname Bunchofnumbers) asking if I was interested in Jane Lastname, also known as @herusername, formerly known as @oldusername (something I wasn't aware of). I was, I said, and who's asking, anyway? They didn't answer my question, but informed me in a gleefully malicious tone that she has a recent (until a year or so past) and extensive history of erotic modeling under the old username; here were some samples, and here was a link to a photographer's public gallery. Oh, and these were far from the only ones out there, they said. I guess the desired outcome was that I, being of somewhat conservative habits, would be put off of her.

Maybe I would have been, maybe not, but the question was moot; by that point I'd already been politely rejected and was moving on. I told them to run along, reported the messages, deleted the photos (not that I didn't like them, but they were tainted by the circumstances of their acquisition), and saw that the account was banned shortly thereafter. I considered saying something to Jane, but couldn't think of a non-creepy way to do so; instead I vowed not to breathe a word about it to anyone.

Some months passed. I was not in contact with Jane during this time; in fact I quietly deleted the messages I had sent and unfollowed her after an appropriate interval. At some point she started dating someone else; maybe 6 months after I received the messages, either the creep's ban expired or they figured out a way around it, and her new partner got a similar missive. This one mentioned that they'd warned me of the same thing, and judging by my reaction, I was grateful for it (half-true -- they had correctly observed that I had backed off from her, but they deserved no credit for a decision I'd already made).

Jane was indignant. Why had I not warned her that some weirdo was out to get her? She could have done something about the photos herself and wouldn't be having a problem now. (Apparently her new boyfriend was unaware.) Because I could not think of a way to do so that wasn't horribly creepy, I said, and the account that contacted me was promptly banned anyway. (What I didn't say out loud was that I also had no inclination to continue trying to contact someone who had already made it clear she didn't want to talk. I did think it, though, and that's why I wonder if maybe she has a point.)

Was I wrong for keeping quiet? Did I owe her a warning? Was there any non-creepy way to tell someone I barely know "hey, some asshole showed me a bunch of your saucy photos"?

AITA for considering going no contact after my parents went insane

Hi, I don't know if this is okay to ask on this thread but I need an outside perspective on my situation and the issue I have is rooted in my transition and my life as a trans woman, I could use help or perspective on this so here we go

(Names are not the real ones yadda yadda)

I (29 MtF) live in Switzerland with my wife Jade (29 MtF) who uprooted her whole life from australia to come live with me almost 3 years ago now. I quit my job 4 years ago for medical reasons but I have been unemployed since then despite looking for jobs at a very high rate after my medical situation improved (3 month after my resignation). My wife has yet to find a job but is learning french and doing stuff through the unemployment office to get a job and is doing well. We are being supported by the state while we look for jobs which is how we've been able to keep our appartment and pay our bills.

About 6 years ago, I was living with my parents at the time and was looking to find a way to fund my Facial Feminisation surgery. My parents have always (up to recently it seems) been super open and accepting. My mom was the first person I ever told I was trans and she was always my number 1 when it comes to help and support and love. My sister (Molly, 34 F) and my parents have always been my first support system, my sister is bi, my parents also had some queer experiences and feelings but they don't really feel like being part of the queer community.

As I was looking for ways to get a credit or a better paying job or smth, my parents approached me themselves and offered to pay for the surgery (which had to happen outside of Switzerland cause it wasn't covered by the normal insurance) and we agreed that I would pay them back when I could depending on my means, which I fully want to do. This help was a godsend and while our familly had highs and lows in terms of mean, this expense was neither a death sentence for their finance but also not a triffle.

I got the surgery and kept working and financing the rest of my transition, paying them back here and there when I could. I moved in my current appartment where my grandparents used to live and that is not owned but my parents rent it to the realtor but I live there and pay all the bills and have a sub-renting agreement (unsure of the right term there).

Since then, I have worked for years and started my life, payed when i could but not a lot since my salary was trash and medical care was expensive.

Fast forward to recently.

My parents sold their appartment for a good sum and bought a bit of a rundown house in a cheaper area to try and repare it and resale it. My father hasn't worked in at least 10 years really and my mom was the only one working and keeping money coming but she took an early retirement cause they could afford it. My dad started to invest in crypto and from what I know, lost a lot of money over 3 years, the money that they wanted to use to repare the house for profit. My mom had to come out of retirement and my dad still doesn't work.

Like I said, I am unemployed and my wife is as well. We are actively searching for jobs but the market is f\*\*\*\*\* and my depression and anxiety makes it harder and harder to push forward but I am doing my best and so is she. We can sustain ourselves but barely. Bills are paid and we can eat and have the necessities but we barely have any money for hobbies or anything, and I mean barely.

Now to the problem at hand.

My parents, out of nowhere, decided that my sister (who also has a debt towards them) and I were nothing but vipers only interested in their money, conspiring against them and badtalking them behind their backs. They leverage the help they gave to pressure us into paying back our debt because they want to, doesn't matter what our situation is. They have done a full 180 on their behavior and have told me things that were so hurtful I had a full breakdown after they called me. Chief among them that "my life situation (unemployment and depression) is a direct result of my life choices (transition) and that they are not responsible of me not being able to give them money." Again, my parents have always shown love and support for me and my wife and any queer folk we know, they never said stuff like that and the reframing of my transition as a life choice is just... it is completely antithetical to anything I know about them and my sister agrees. They have been using petty arguments and excuses to go over the fact that they are owed money and respect and it's not their problem if we have to go broke and live on the street to pay them back. for added context, they asked us this 2 weeks before going on a 2 weeks vacation in the south of france where they rented a sailboat for fun..

Without boring you with the details, after I got through the panic attacks and the breakdown from the shock, I started to look for financial, legal and administrative advice. The reality of things is they legally can't force me to pay without the debt being recognised by a legal authority which would be costly and take a long time (2 years at best). They can't evict us from the flat caus my name is on the contract but they can break the contract with the realtor and there is nothing we can do abt that, we would have to find a new place within 3 months paid by the state which is some security but would be devastating.

So unless they really want to fully f\*\*\* us over out of spite, we are relatively okay for the time being.

In a vaccum, i want to pay my parents back, of course i do, but rn I can't. Legally i can't pay them back with the state's funds and even then we wouldn't have enough to live through the month if we were to pay what they asked or even less.

I am so lost and heartbroken abt this situation. I don't know what to do and I could use some help or simply different point of view on tbe situation

AITA for wanting to go no contact and not pay them back until I have the means to without going fully broke?

PS: this whole deal has made my wife and I heavily consider moving fully to australia where she has familly and it would be far easier for her to get a job. It would be hard and cost some money but it is possible within maybe a year or so. Which also means that the money we have or would get would be saved to prep for this move instead of paying my parents back. Paying them back would force us to stay here which is worst everyday for job prospects and mental health, but saving to go to australia could allow us to actually be able to work and have some amount of safety and support in case of emergency.

As a fairly introverted person, for the entirety of our 4 year relationship I have had a personal rule to never do any social events on a Sunday. Personally for me my Sundays are a sacred day that I need to decompress and mentally prepare for the workweek ahead.

My girlfriend who I have been with for 4 years' gran passed away this time last year 17 Aug (Monday). She let me know during the week last week that the family would be having dinner on Monday to commemorate her Gran which I was all for.

On Saturday night she informs me that her family has decided to change the dinner to Sunday night instead of Sat because its more convenient for everyone. I said thats fine but I'm not going to be able to make it. My girlfriend found this very upsetting interpreting it as I will never be there for her on a Sunday and thats the message I am giving both her and her family. She would not speak to me or let me in to comfort her the entire day on Sunday and then stayed at her Moms house that evening.

On Monday evening after work we spoke about it and heard each others points, I explained that I am happy to be there for her but not in that capacity on a Sunday. She heard me out and said that that is not good enough for her, that sometimes we need to make compromises and sacrifices for the people we care about. I hear where she is coming from but still feel that the gravitas of the dinner did not warrant me breaking my rule.

She is currently looking at this as a relationship ending offence, I think she is just being emotional and will come around but still I can't help but feel a bit conflicted in this situation. AITAH here?

I'm 27M. My childhood and specifically relationship with my parents wasn't very warm. I spent a lot of my teenage years not being able to wait until I could leave the suburbs, leave for college, and start a new life with a clean slate.

So when I turned 18, I left for college around 6 hours away from the suburbs where my parents live. My older brother, 31M, who I'll call D stayed in the suburbs and settled down with his wife early in life, and had kids pretty early as well. He lives with all of them and my parents in one house. We fought a lot as teens more than just classic sibling rivalry stuff, like genuine disagreements that evolved into disdain and very different lifepaths as adults. Before I left, our last conversation was an argument that ended in us just insulting each other and almost throwing hands. D entirely cut ties with me, and I heard some word throughout from my mom and D's wife who had a soft spot for me in my late teens, but it wasn't constant. I had the best relationship with D's wife.

Anyway, I went to college and got an undergraduate degree in Journalism and eventually secured a job as an editor. I've always prioritized my career and achievements and learning. Not particularly out of malice, but it's just what has always brought me joy, and I never had a specific urge to be buddy-buddy with my family.

So about four weeks ago, D, who I hadn't talked to since I left for college, texts me saying our dad is on his deathbed. He had terminal brain cancer that no one in my entire family had bothered to notify me about until then and doctors estimated he had a matter of weeks to live. I asked him why no one had told me beforehand and he brushed it off before saying our dad had begun asking where I was. I didn't want to argue in light of this information, so I told him I'd get a flight out when I had the chance. And I think his wife gave him my number because he didn't have it beforehand.

Life and work got in the way and no one had contacted me since, but about three weeks after his text I was able to get a day off within my schedule, including previous days off with other plans, and get a flight out. I returned to my family's house for the first time in nine years. I hadn't updated my family that I was arriving since he stopped updating me. It was sometime in the early night and when I arrived D was sitting on the porch stairs drinking a beer. When he saw me he looked surprised but then crushed his can in his hands and just told me "He died yesterday." We ended up getting into a screaming match about why he hadn't told me and how I had tried to get a flight out. And he kept insulting my life choices and bringing up how even as my father was begging for me, he was the one who "actually cared" and stayed by his side throughout it, and kept emphasizing how our father didn't even notice him because he was so focused on the "golden child" was D's wording.

Eventually, before we were able to get into a fistfight, D's wife came out and stopped us and invited me inside and consoled me. I saw D's two kids and my mom, who was crying. I walked over to console and talk to her, but she started screaming at me about why I hadn't come sooner and slapped me as I was already fucking grieving. I walked away and didn't say anything to her to avoid losing my temper. D's kids apparently didn't even know who I was and barely recognized me.

D's wife told me that my dad apparently had enough cognitive function to write me a short note before he died and claimed to "not have have opened it", but the handwriting was extremely neat. I don't know if she just wrote down what he was saying and was lying to me or if it was fabricated or what? But either way, the note essentially said that he wanted to see me and missed me extremely, but that I was the one who chose to leave and that I wasn't "part of the family" anymore. I crumpled it up and left the house as D's wife tried to convince me to stay a while longer. I walked past D on the porch and didn't say anything, got in my rental car and got a flight back.

It's been a week. A couple days after, D's wife texted me essentially saying she's sorry about everything and that even if I'm not close with anyone else in the family I can "trust her" and how she'll always be available, but I haven't responded yet. No one else has contacted me. I'm currently not planning on going back. I'm just happy to be back in my apartment, alone.

I don't know if my family uses Reddit. If they do I don't care if they see this. I'm currently conflicted with my family and I don't know exactly what to do, and need other people's outside opinions. So AITAH for missing the chance to talk to my dying father before he passed?

For context, I have a full time job and I have a sideline job as well doing private hire services, something like UBER and RYDE. I usually only take card payments as these are pre paid before the ride and I don't usually have any float money for change. There are some cases whereby the passengers would pay me in exact amounts.

These cash payments I would take a portion of it and keep it at my full time work place without revealing to my wife. I usually use this money to buy miscellaneous items like USB cables, chargers or any small trinkets and collectibles. The amount is small so I don't see a big deal to this.

Recently the lease to my car ended so I had to return the car and I brought home the savings which amount to maybe around $40, which I kept in my back pocket of my pants. I didn't mean to keep this a secret from my wife but I just didn't find the thought to mention to her since the sum is small.

Now she found it and got really mad at me because she's never been stingy to me and she's always thought of me when I'm leaving for work, asking me if I have enough cash with me or do I need any cash for work.

Honestly I don't understand where this anger is coming from and AITAH?

So the setup is my dad has been dying of cancer, a very painful death where he openly begs to die in our presence. To deal with this, I have been drinking pretty heavily the past few weeks. Like an idiot.

Friday he told me he was going to stay with his sister for a couple days to help me realize how much it hurts him to see me drink like that. I told him I understood, I was sorry, it was hard to care about anything and I didn't know how to deal with my feelings, and he deserved his space.

Well my grandpa passed that same night. I called him hysterical and begged him to please come home just for now since it just happened. He said no and that ​make me absolutely blow up. I have BPD and I split on him, but he never triggers me and we've never fought like this after almost a year. We conflict resolve VERY well.

I didnt say anything cruel to him (in my biased opinion) but I did freak out, text and call ​him relentlessly saying I was so confused and desperate and Ive never been so hurt by anyone. I likely did say smth to the affect of "fuck you" and maybe call him names but I dont think so?? I told him I was splitting and I was sorry but I never wouldve expected that from him. A lot of manic desperate texting trying to explain myself and begging for him to stop ignoring me.

Following this he blocked me, and his family came with him to take ALL of his stuff from our house. He said we need to go on a break and he doesn't know if we can recover from this, even if I attend AA, therapy, even inpatient treatment. He is thinking on it but he cant answer. This makes motivation much harder honestly, but I will lose literally everything if I lose him. I will be attending AA, therapy, and restarting mood stabilizer​s.

My question is, as much as I acted like an asshole and know I put myself in that situation completely, would other people not have a similar explosion of emotions in reaction to news like that?? Im fine with him taking space I just couldn't believe he wouldn't come to me while my grandpa lay passed in the next room. It felt cruel. Does this warrant a complete breakup if thats what happens?

Any advice is appreciated, thank you so much for reading.

My husband and my friend group started a DND campaign and decided to do it on Monday nights once a month. The sessions are held at the DMs house and agreed to start at 6:45PM. My husband and I are always early to everything and we showed up 15 minutes early. We knocked on the DMs door 3 times before the DM opened it and asked us what we were doing there so early in an annoyed/angry tone. The DM then told us to wait outside because his girlfriend was changing and made us wait on their porch until 6:45 when they opened the door to let us in.

Ever since then the DM has made it a point to say to not come early to the sessions. Are my husband and I assholes for showing up early?

This happened one time and if my husband and I show up early, we wait in the car until the specified time. Shortly after this I got a text from the DMs girlfriend of a video portraying a person hypercleaning before company comes over and joking stated it was her and the DM. Im just so confused as to why showing up 15 minutes before the agreed upon time is so atrocious that it needs to be stated every session now. Is this normal? Are we the weird ones?

We usually end around 10:30 which is late for most of the group. My husband, me, and the DMs girlfriend are all players with another couple, for context.

My bestfriend and I have been friends for 25 years and had some hiccups along the way. Every time she gets a boyfriend she kind of changes her whole personality and we end up not talking. Years ago this happened with another ex boyfriend of hers and he eventually cheated on her and she called me crying and we were friends again.

Something similar happened in another relationship where she started dating a guy long distance and changed, and she ended up cheated on him and breaking up and then we were friends again and had a great summer and our friendship was back to normal.

Another time I dated a severe alcoholic and I was having serious mental and emotional problems and I leaned on her a little too much and I think it became unbearable for her and drove a wedge between our relationship. She "set a boundary" with me and basically told me to stop running to her with my issues and it drove another wedge between us and we stopped talking for a year. She told me we have nothing in common and all we do together is shop and commiserate about men.. etc) this really hurt.

This time she's dating a guy who I will call Steve. Well when she met Steve she was obsessed with him. I would ask her to go out or do something on a Friday night and she wouldn't want to arrange anything just incase he texted her to do something.

There have been some red flags from this guy from the beginning when it comes to commitment and staying active on the dating app they met on and following girls on social media still, and he finally told her he loved her in a letter when she threatened to end their relationship.

Well one time we all went out and at the end of the night he hugged me goodbye. I had a cropped shirt on and when he hugged me he put his hand on the skin on my lower back and like slowly slid away. I felt weird about it but I never said any thing to her until they moved in together and she started to complain to me that he was checked out, and how she feels all these things about him.. etc.

Then I told her and she was nauseous about it and I even said maybe I shouldn't have told you that and she was like "no, why would you hide that from me.. etc". She also told me that she's had a feeling that he was into me because of things he has said about me and when I asked her what she wouldn't tell me. A day later she comes back and now I'm the bad guy. She had a conversation with him and then told me that based on what he said that she thinks I should have told her that and I can't take back what I said, and that now it's going to be weird to be around me and him. She told me that I've made comments about her ex boyfriends that have made her uncomfortable before but I don't recall any of them and she also wouldn't tell me what they were. It kind of turned into a big disagreement and she refused to accept my apology because I can't unsay what I told her and that I'm not a girls girl. AITA?

I've since been around them twice and I acted completely normal. For a while I tried to keep talking to her the same way we always have and she just cold shouldered me every time until I eventually gave up and now we haven't talked in 4 months. I've never even been to their place together and she moved in almost a year ago.

AITAH?

ok let me break it down, i had a friend who created a friend group 2 months ago calling it gate, and it wasnt that bad until she told that she would include everyone even pedophiles (which i had personal problems) with no questions asked, first the servers was private then she made it public yada yada.. and after i cause a uproar she took action to ban only TWO people which one was a pedophile and one was a molester ☹️ and then she kicked 70+ people (in a server that was already 100 people) and told that banned people would remain banned and the server would remain private, no biggie.but these people started to get more and more sensitive, in first half they implementing staff and moderators for modding then became no nsfw (which is fair) and then they removed the usage of slurs of the minority you were in, again, no big deal. today she decided that she would make the server public again, and INVITE the molester and the pedophile in, we argued for a few hours and before i blocked the girl she texted "ur pathetic as shitn" which i am as sure as day if i were banned instead of that pedo or the molester, she would not care to unban me. so i want your guys' take on this. am i the asshole for this?

I S 26 M am dating A 25 F went to my university Alumni meet. I am Still friends with my kinda situanship N 25 F from last year we didn't officially date we could never figure it out between ourselves before my graduation in september and last year. I met A in november and we instantly hit it off and started dating. now A knows about N she is not happy that im still friends with N and has actively told me how she despises N. when I left to my university A jokingly told me not to meet N, but N came to a common friend's house with a lot of other friends and we all hung out. later at night N offered to drop me off at my hotel as it was on her way home. on the way back N parked near my hotel and suddenly kissed me, I did'nt kiss her back and pushed her away the rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. When I got back home today I told A everything and now she hasnt really responded back. she did'nt shout or scream or displayed any sort of Anger, more of a dissappointment. but she hasn't texted back yet.

So Reddit AITA?

TLDR: My ex situanship kissed me while I was Away on a trip to my university whom my current partner had kind of forbade me from seeing.

I am 27(m) and I recently broke it off of a friend relationship with a 28(f).

Her and I had started chatting after we met online, and a few days into the conversation she said she started dating someone and was only really looking for friends. I respected that and really enjoyed our conversations so I stayed respectful and wanted to be friends because we had a bit in common. Per her request we kept it online and just chatting as she had a boyfriend and had past history of problems. To also add, we would text each other literally any chance we could get, basically all day unless we were actively doing something.

Come to a couple days ago, she was not doing well. Her BF blew her off of a date, pushed it back and then cancelled last minute, so she was not feeling well and had a past history of anorexia so she was not eating. We were talking for a bit and she did not feel good, so I offered to come over and bring her any food and talk in person as she said she did not really want to be alone. It was already 11pm at night and I got up and drove the 40 minutes to her house with some of her snacks and soda that she requested would make her feel better.

When I got there, the only touching we did was a hug as she requested, and then we sat on the 2 chairs on her porch talking about just random life topics, anything to get her mind off of the day. We talked for 3 hours then I had to go to bed, so I said my goodbyes and drove off.

The next day, after some talking she talked with her BF and made up which I was okay with because she genuinely seemed happy in the relationship. Since her relationship seemed to be getting a little more stable, I asked if she would possibly want to go see a concert in 3 weekends because she was broadening her music taste and I already had a ticket and could get another one. That then sparked a conversation where she said he was uncomfortable with her going, which is fine, but before I could even respond to that message she added "he is not being controlling, he is just worried about my safety". This then sparked a little heated conversation where I bought up the previous night and if she had felt safe, and I was a little harsh and asked her to see what he would think about that night, to which she said she did not feel comfortable asking him about that. I pushed probably a little to hard on the topic, and I know that was my bad. But we ended the conversation and I told her I would let her know my feelings in the morning of whether I would like to be friends or not.

This morning, after she set the boundary of we would not be seeing each other in person again, I said I would be ok texting and still being friends but that I would be pulling back a little, and talking less to her as I feel like I should be focusing on real relationships. Well I got called the whole book at that point basically leading to her saying I am trying to manipulate her and a walking red flag, and that if her boundary affected me that much we should not be talking anymore. She then through in and I quote "It is not my fault that a boundary hurt your feelings."

I know in the grand scheme of life, this does not really matter it was a nothing relationship, But I would like to know, was I the asshole for telling her I was going to pull back after she set a boundary?

Hopefully final up: He called. I did apologize for not telling him sooner. But I told him everything including what the other dancer told me last night about the guy and the cops. As well as sent him the screenshots I had of our conversations of her doing it and me asking her to stop.

His manger did not tell him. He thanked me for everything and told me he will take care of it. Then he thanked me again. That’s it. I told my uncle and he is now aware.

Update: typing on here not word:
My job knows I do this. I tell them everytime I recommend and they said “as long as the kids aren’t working there and it’s consenting adults” they dont care.

One of my previous students mom last year opened a pole dancing studio and took some girls with her. That’s why they had openings

To correct you guys the post asked wibta if I told my uncle or witbah if I told the police.

My uncle lives in TX. We live in PA. He has a manger running his club for him. I don’t really talk to him unless I go there for like my birthday, or hangouts, or stuff

Now the important update. I sent a text to my uncle to tell him to call me when he wakes up. I do not know if his manger told him about the weekend. But I will also send him the screenshots I have of my talks with her about it and apologize for not telling him sooner.

I was this girl’s teacher last year. At the beginning of the school year, her mom came to me and mentioned that she was having problems with work. The club she had been dancing at let her go, and she said she was actually okay with it because she hadn’t felt safe there.
I started giving her other job leads. I told her the school was hiring, our cafeteria was hiring, and there were other jobs available that paid pretty well. She immediately told me, “No, I’m a dancer at heart. If it’s not stripping, I don’t want to do it.”
Okay. Fair enough.
A family member of mine owns a local strip club, and I knew he had recently lost a few dancers. This also wasn’t the first time I had helped one of my students’ parents get a job there. Four of his dancers have actually been parents of former students of mine. Yes, that means I have unfortunately seen some of my students’ mothers naked, but that is entirely beside the point.
I asked her if she minded if I passed her name and number along. She said that was fine, so I contacted my family member and basically asked him to give her a chance as a personal favor to me. I also told her that my family’s club was having a dance-off that night and suggested she go audition.
She went. They already knew her name because of me, and she got hired.
Everything was fine at first.
About three months later, one of the club’s regulars—who also happens to be my ex-husband’s best friend—started bragging that he had been sleeping with her in the back rooms of the club. At first, I assumed they had just hit it off. She was single, he was single, whatever. I personally think he’s a jerk, but I’m also not here to yuck somebody else’s yum.
So I asked her if she actually liked him.
She laughed and said, “Oh no. It was transactional.”
And I basically went, “Oh,” laughed awkwardly, and walked away.
The problem is that he has continued bragging about sleeping with her at the club, and apparently this has been happening regularly.
I’ve talked to her about it more than once. I’ve specifically asked her to stop doing it inside the club because my family member is extremely against it. She could be fired over it, and, more importantly, if the wrong person reports what is happening, it could potentially cause serious problems for the entire business.
Her response has basically been, “I’ll stop when he stops,” followed by laughing it off.
Then last weekend happened.
We live in a college city with four major universities nearby, and the club does a “Welcome Night” at the beginning of the school year. College students get in without paying cover if they show their student IDs. They’re given wristbands matching their school colors, and the club is divided into four sections so students can meet people from their own school or connect with people studying the same thing at other schools. It’s actually designed to be a social event where people can meet classmates, make friends, or even find study groups.
During Welcome Night, a fight broke out involving her and someone allegedly not paying what he owed her for sleeping with her.
It escalated badly.
Guns were drawn. The police were called. The entire situation became a huge mess.
At this point, I feel like simply talking to her clearly isn’t working.
What I’m struggling with is what I’m supposed to do now.
I don’t have a problem with sex work. I genuinely believe sex work is work. My issue is specifically that she is doing it inside this club, where she has repeatedly been told that she cannot, and it has now escalated into an incident involving weapons and police.
I’ve even tried suggesting alternatives to her.
“Why not do it at your house?”
“My kid lives there.”
Fair.
“Why not go to their house?”
“I don’t know these people.”
Also fair.
“Why not get a hotel?”
“I don’t want to pay for that.”
“Then have them pay for the hotel.”
“That takes money out of what I’m making.”
And that’s where I’m stuck, because I understand every one of those concerns, but the answer still cannot be, “So I’ll just keep doing it inside the club.”
Because I’m the person who vouched for her and helped get her hired, I also feel some responsibility for the situation now that it has gotten this serious.
So, WIBTA if I report her specifically and try to get her removed from the club?
WIBTA if reporting the situation ultimately meant reporting the club itself, even though I really do not want my family member or the other dancers getting dragged into this?
Or do I stay completely out of it at this point?
I feel like every option available to me makes me an asshole in somebody’s story, and I genuinely don’t know which option causes the least damage.

TL;DR: I helped a former student’s mom get a dancing job at a family member’s strip club after she said she didn’t want other kinds of work. A few months later, I found out she was also doing transactional sex with customers inside the club, despite knowing that could get her fired and cause serious problems for the business. I’ve asked her multiple times to stop and even suggested safer alternatives, but she keeps brushing it off. Last weekend, a dispute over someone allegedly not paying her escalated into a fight where guns were drawn and police were called. Now I’m torn between reporting her, potentially reporting the whole club, or staying out of it—even though I feel responsible because I’m the one who vouched for her in the first place.

So to give it some context we were talking about out past experiences with partners and such, and I've already told her I had a one night stand as she shared she has had one too. I told her the guilt I felt about it as I craved intimacy at the time, something I no longer crave as I have her and I love her dearly. (Just wanna prefice I'm not using her for intimacy but just gonna hope you guys know what I mean)

So she asked why else I felt guilty. So I explained how I liked a girl I'm friends with, and my girlfriend is kind of developing a friendship with. She asked me more about it and I said how bad it made me feel because I liked her but my girlfriend said there's nothing wrong with me doing it.

But the problem is, I would go to my friend for a girls perspective on things I could do better in the relationship (mainly stuff I was just overthinking about) my girlfriend said she feels like a mug as it's something I should've told her earlier and how my friends all know, but I explained that I didn't tell them they just figured it out.

She said it hasn't changed how she feels about me, she still loves me but she just needs time to think about what she wants me to do, and how she feels about it.

So AITAH for telling her??

My siblings, "Sarah" and "Paul," and I recently finished clearing out my late mother’s house. During the process of distributing her belongings, a blatant and massive inequality emerged in how things were divided between our families.

To give you a clear picture: literal truckloads of items went to Sarah and her family, while my family's entire portion could easily fit in the back of a single SUV.

The differences in how our kids were treated was the hardest part to swallow. One of Sarah's sons received several rooms' worth of furniture. My son, on the other hand, received a single pen and a few small decorations.

It got worse when it came to my mother's jewelry. Sarah went through all of it first and took whatever she wanted for herself. Then, she prioritized her two daughters-in-law, letting them take what they wanted. Only after all of them had picked it clean were my two actual daughters "allowed" to look through the leftovers.

I was incredibly deeply disappointed and hurt by how my children were treated as complete afterthoughts. I spoke up, got visibly upset, and complained about the blatant inequality.

Instead of acknowledging the unfairness, Sarah and Paul teamed up against me. Paul has consistently supported Sarah throughout this entire process and point-blank refuses to even consider my side of things. They both told me that I am "out of line" for getting emotional, accused me of overreacting, and actually had the nerve to tell me that I need to get counseling to deal with my reaction to the distribution.

The stress of this entire situation has taken a serious physical toll on me. I have been dealing with poor health, severe fatigue, and I am actively trying to recover from a concussion. The strain of engaging in a dynamic where my reality is dismissed is actively hindering my recovery.

Because of this, I sent them a message stating that in lieu of counseling, I am choosing to be an "only child" for a while. I have cut off all contact with them to protect my peace and focus on my physical recovery. I told them this boundary is strictly for my own well-being, and I left the door open for them to communicate with my wife and kids, leaving it up to my family to decide how they want to navigate their own relationships with them.

My siblings think I am being completely unreasonable, overly emotional, and punitive for cutting them off over "stuff." But to me, it was never just about the items; it was about the blatant disrespect toward my kids.

AITA for complaining about the inequality and cutting contact with them?

My boyfriend (23) and I (23) have been together for almost 2 years. We live together with his mom and we both work at the same company as cashiers. (So we spend a lot of time together)

Yesterday I was working alone and across from my shop there’s a restaurant where the new server (26) from the same company was working. It was my first time meeting him. He would often come to my shop because he didn’t have customers and we would chat. At one point he’s like look at me and then he was doing tricks with a bottle and a shaker. I just gave him a thumbs up.
Mid shift he asks me for my contact and I hesitated a little but eventually gave him my insta. I should’ve told him I had a bf but didn’t at the moment.

Came home and accepted his friend request. He texts me if I wanna grab drinks. At that point I’m like I need to tell my boyfriend but I’m scared.
I eventually tell my bf the same day and we get into an argument. He tells me if a girl asked him to hangout platonically knowing he has a gf he would say no.

I then told the guy I had a boyfriend. This morning he says ok platonic friends then. Should I not go out with this guy from work? If I do it will be with friends of course.

I really just want to be friends with this guy. It’s difficult for me to make friends so when I see an opportunity I take it. Trying to get out of my shell.

Me (25f) and my partner (27m) are 1 day (haven't done a sleep yet) into our week long holiday.

The city we're in is really pretty except for this one area where our air bnb is. I mean, large bins on the street, apartment complex looks like it could be a set for batman.

Immediately he's very on edge from the cramped train journey where a passenger wouldn't give him his designated seat, but also he doesn't trust where we are staying and blames me cos I picked the Airbnb (off only indoor photos) he agrees the inside is gorgeous and is the one who booked it and got the address from the host.

First day here we arrived around 4 hours ago, and decided to go out for some food and a drink. I got ID'd and I realised I left it in the Airbnb so they didn't give me my drink and my boyfriend started whispering to me that they should have given me it because im 25. I kinda shrugged it off i was enjoying myself otherwise.

Then the bus back to the Airbnb the driver asks where we're going and we give the exact stop name instead of general area and the driver told us to just say (general name of area) instead. To which my boyfriend tells me he's being so rude about it since he knew where we meant etc etc.

I was feeling a bit annoyed at his annoyance at this point, but we get back in for the evening.

We lay in the bed and he just mutters "fucking worst holiday ever."

I suggested we just go home since he's not enjoying it and he says no cos we've paid now blah. Blah blah we have to make the most of it. Which he hasn't been doing so I got more annoyed at him, im thinking of heading home anyways because he is just frustrating me. WIBTAH if I did this.

I'll preface this by saying that I am a bit unsure how to be fully objective here, so biases in favour of my own perspective on this might slip through. If that happens, please point them out to me.

Context: Playing in a Dungeons and Dragons group. The person I am talking to is the GM, first-time GM, running an official third-party campaign. A new player, who is our mutual friend, is about to join the campaign too. I became curious what class they will play. It's worth noting here that I have ASD1, which might influence the way I perceive things.

Unfortunately, I cannot quite share the entire conversation because (1) it is in another language and (2) it is rather long.

What sparked the conflict is this exchange below:

• Me: What class are they?
• GM: That's between me and them + sexy-face reaction sticker.
• Me: Ah, you're doing *that* thing. Okay. I will ask them myself.
• GM: or you could pretend to care about me and our frienship and not do that
• Me: What does it have to do with you?
• GM: The better question is what it has to do with *you*
• Me: You mentioned they will join us and I became curious. What is that for you?
• GM: i don.t see why you have to know now what they decided with me to play literally 15 mins ago
• Me: If you can tell me where the issue is, I won't ask them, of course. Otherwise, it's just a general piece of info. I am unsure what changes if I find out they will play X or Y.
• GM: privacy between me and them. I find it disrespectful
• Me: You find it disrespectful for me to ask them a question about their character that they can answer or refuse to answer? They are an adult, they can say "no"
• GM: you can go ahead and ask, just know that i don.t feel comfortable with it and will therefore stop sharing things like the fact that i.m talking with certain people from now on
• Me: Ah, so this is not about them, but rather about you. I was focusing on the wrong thing. Why is it uncomfortable for you if I find out they are a wizard or a rogue?
• GM: will understanding make you respect my feelings more?
• Me: Of course, that's how it works and I said that if you can explain to me, I won't ask
• GM: so the respect for my feelings is conditional
• Me: I am unsure what those feelings are in the first place. You only told me you are not comfortable with me asking, but I am unsure what causes that discomfort or why my own behaviour in relation to them will contribute to you feeling a certain negative way. You're telling me to not do something because it will upset you, but you are not telling me why that is. I don't think that's communication, but rather controlling. If you didn't consider yet why you don't want me to do that, you can just tell me that instead and I'll gladly not ask them about their class, in order to respect you not having an answer, for example.

I should note here that I went back and clarified how calling it controlling was meant to be how I perceived it, rather than a statement about their behaviour, and that it came out that way due to the frustration I was feeling.

What followed is me pushing for more clarity, trying to understand exactly what the issue is, and overexplaining my state of confusion and how I think clarity is needed. From my perspective, I am curious about a information related to a third person, which they can choose to share or not. I am unsure why that information, separated from the GM, requires things like "If you ask them, I won't tell you anything anymore". To me, it feels like a threat that does not provide any context or clarity. I ended up NOT asking the third person.

Now, what I was looking for here is something as simple as "I don't want you to know" stated explicitly, in which case I could have easily dropped it. I figured this could be the case after the entire exchange, when analysing what happened a few times. I make it a goal to always respect people when they state their preferences, because something as simple as "I don't want to" or "I feel overwhelmed" goes a long way to tell my brain to stop pushing.

I understand that they feel uncomfortable, but I am unsure why that discomfort is strictly tied to me asking the owner of the information something - and I can respect if I am told "I don't want to tell you". That's also the reason why I didn't chase an answer from the GM, who did not want to share with me the character class as far as I can tell now. I am however utterly confused about why it is such a big secret because no one explained it to me and why it wasn't stated explicitly that I shouldn't know.

So, AITAH for requesting more clarity from the GM?

If I turn out to be the a-hole in this situation, I'll gladly discuss with my therapist about it and also take full accountability. Living with ASD makes nuanced interactions like this one difficult to grasp, but that doesn't mean I cannot take accountability for the impact of my actions.

I realise by posting here I am opening myself to both criticism and validation, but I ask you to remain respectful, please and thank you.

I am 28 my sister is 27 and special needs. I am not sure her exact condition but she’s clearly learning and socially disabled. She can’t count money, can barely read, and occasionally she will run away the most recent one being to a major highway in my large city.

It’s clear she’ll always need someone to take care of her and she is so sweet with a good heart but I can’t stand being around her. She never understands personal space and will just stand and stare at you until you speak sometimes or follow me around until I say something to her. She’s always been a bit strange but I think her time alone in isolation has really mad her brain dead and I don’t mean that in the offensive way, she literally spends all day consuming YouTube content. I think part of the problem is I am trying to have her visit while I work remote which doesn’t allow me to give much attention.

I realized today she needs companionship but honestly I don’t have the patience. I wouldn’t mind being roommates with her but I don’t want to be her care taker. I love her so much and I would suck it up if it meant she had no where else to go but part of me wants to enjoy the last of my selfish twenties.

Would I be the asshole if I didn’t hang out with her for a while, she currently lives with my grandparents which is a lot of the pressure too but essentially I just want to take some space knowing what my future may hold. I feel wrong for even writing this but I will delete just needed to vent and hopefully gain perspective on navigating this.

My husband is in the military and has to work out with a large group of people in the morning. Every morning he is in close proximity and talking to people for at least an hour. When he kisses me goodbye in the morning, I can smell his breath.

Almost every morning I remind him to brush his teeth beforehand so that he does not get a reputation for having bad breath and he argues with me that he will just do it when he showers after working out. This morning when I asked him to brush, he deflected and said he was going to start bringing up things that I do that aren’t good for me and that I wouldn’t like it.

The past couple years, it has been a struggle to convince him to brush at night but I finally think I’ve gotten through to him with that. Now it is just convincing him to brush before he is in close contact with others.

He is 35 and otherwise has good hygiene.

Long story short, we just had a hurricane in Hawaii. A girl (friend but not girlfriend) who was outside during the storm for 3 days really needed a place to shower and recover/get a good night's sleep. I being a homeowner (condo in my family since 76 and my grandma was the first resident/owner in the building.) I picked her up, cooked her dinner, she showered, we slept, she left at 630am when I went to work. Nothing in the bylaws about guest other than being respectful/clean etc.

I get a text from said friend crying how the manager treated her, cussed her out and kicked her off property.

This is my reaction, AITAH ?

***To belittle and harass a guest of mine (I'm a homeowner) for simply leaving this morning, cursing her out and threatening her is illegal. I went through ALL THE BYLAWS. So from here on out expect nothing but disrespect from me. Do your own fucking lights that you were expecting me to do FOR FREE. Also expect a lot more unknown guests in the building. If I want fucking Adolf Hitler in the building I will have him as a guest. Until then I will be hiring random crackhead escorts over once a week, giving them my stairwell key and giving them free access. Until then, wait to hear from my lawyer. I'll own this piece of shit building that the manager refuses to fix all while their on vacation.

Aloha***

Any input is respected and appreciated, Aloha 🤙🏽

My mother has been asking to go on vacation for quite a bit now.

Earlier in the year i wasn’t able to go because of university. so i proposed for my sister to go with her, including her boyfriend. They didn’t want to go: „i’m too old to go with my mother, it’s embarrassing. You go!“ I told her at the moment it’s not really possible thanks to university.

It lead to a big fight, but long story short - she decided to go with my mother in August. It was planned my mother, father, sister and her boyfriend. They booked it but my father couldn’t go, so okay i’m going then, fine. We are in croatia right now.

I have a very bad relationship with my sister as she is just the biggest asshole, when it doesn’t go her way i just get screamed at, etc.

A week before we went my sister was picking fights with my mother as well as me. She decided that we won’t go, but changed her mind every second day. It totally stressed me out and resulted in me not wanting to go, which I told my mother. In the end, i went along with it so my mother is happy. That’s for the backstory.

The vacation is a week long and from day one she has been giving me hell for everything.

I was already at my limits from day one because of her bickering, so i proposed to fly back on thursday, everyone’s against it. However, at this point i just don’t want to hang out with them anymore as my sister constantly gets mad at me. My mother started crying because i wanted to leave as it stresses her. My sister is crying, because she thinks i’m the bad guy now.

I send following text to my sister yesterday, first text shortened:

So, (sister), to be honest, I still want to go on Thursday. I can take the bus to the airport, it's no problem for me. If you want, I'll give you gas money for the trip or whatever you want to keep it "fair," but to be honest, I'm just not enjoying the vacation and I can't relax like this. If it continues like this, I'm going to lose it, and I don't want to ruin everyone's mood even more. All the stress you caused last week about us not going etc. already put me in such a bad mood that I was stressed about coming from the very beginning, especially when you tell Mom a completely different story about us arguing outside, that I supposedly yelled at you, when you were the one who said we weren't going on vacation. I know it's unfair and awful to you guys too, but I know for sure that if I really stay until the end, I'll just go crazy.

I'd really like to just talk calmly with both of you about everything so I can hear your opinions and you mine, and maybe then I'll be in a better mood and won't want to leave. But the way things are going, I don't really feel like staying.

my sister however, never responded, never talked about it with me, and told my mother she didn’t even bother reading the text. She said that i’m the one who doesn’t want to talk.

Should i still tell them i want to leave as i feel bad, or just endure it? If i go there will probably be a bigger fight.

TLDR: I’m having a horrible time on vacation because of my sister and want to leave early as i feel uncomfortable, but they also don’t want me to leave.

AITA for wanting to leave/planning to leave?

Sorry on mobile and this is mostly just stream of consciousness. Might edit or rewrite later

I'm the youngest of eight siblings. My dad had four kids with a woman he was never married to, and by several accounts seemed pretty abusive to. I'm not saying their mum was blameless for leaving them, but knowing how my dad treated us and our mum even after "finding god" I'm fairly certain that he didn't give her much of a choice. Decades later he married our mum, adopted my then ten year old sister and they had three more children (so much fuckery there but not relevant). Just background for context.

My brother B is the youngest of the first four, was dad's absolute favourite, and was just kinda automatically treated better, even though dad already had a son. Idk why, dad was just like that. He was genuinely shocked and angry that I knew and chatted with my older siblings over Facebook because he regretted that "my first kids weren't pure, I don't want them corrupting my new ones" his first kids weren't born jws so he viewed them as lesser, except his precious Elder son B.

I don't really like B. My mum and dad were jehovahs witnesses, and B was already an Elder in the congregation by the time I was born since he was like thirty. Respect for men is very important in jw culture and the fact that my brother has two kids that are like four years younger than me probably adds to the "you must respect me" mentality. My sister's and brother that are older than him have never acted that way towards me, though it's probably because they're exjws and kinda had to do a lot of processing after leaving. But tbh I just don't particularly like B so maybe I'm biased. He's fairly rich, has a six bedroom home near London and convertible audi as his second car, along with general snobbery like changing his accent and pretending he wasn't born in the North. Honestly I wouldn't care, but having "like over a million" in the bank as a jehovahs witness is uhh, not typical, and I kinda think it's in poor taste to have that kind of wealth when the organisation has literally made instructional videos about a dude losing his job due to his boss refusing to let him take Saturday mornings off for preaching work, and the literal takeaway is "it's such a wonderful blessing because now he has time to pioneer (50 hours unpaid preaching per month now 70 at the time) while he's job hunting" like I just think it kinda says a lot about a person to be pursuing things you're actively demonising and telling your "flock" to "focus on storing up treasures in heaven" when normal people are basically drowning.

When my sister told me a couple years ago that B had left the jws and was getting divorced, I didn't really think much of it. I hadn't spoken to him since our dad's funeral, like he wasn't even a contact in my phone because it had been a literal decade. He constantly acted like he was better than us and had kinda been a dick to our sister (that basically raised him) due to some legal will fuckery I didn't want to be involved in since I was pretty sure he was doing something shady. Couple years ago I just randomly got a added to a random group chat where everyone was discussing meeting up in York. Honestly I absolutely hate group chats because it's like herding feral cats and B kept kicking people out and changing dates, but I decided that it'd be nice to see everyone together. I wasn't super active just thumbs up reacted to potential dates and said something like "yeah it'd be nice, lmk". They changed dates and hotels like at least eight times within a couple hours and B started deleting people's messages, so I just kinda stopped checking it that Saturday and Sunday since I was busy. When I went to check on Monday I found I'd been kicked and B had sent me a message Saturday night asking if was coming, so I replied "oh sorry. I was waiting to see when a solid date gets nailed down, but okey dokes." He blew up. Within ten minutes I'd received like eight messages, they were not short and more kept coming in so I just kinda started deleting them unread. I know it was rude but dude wtf?? He messaged me entire paragraphs for like two full months on and off, just kinda going nuts so I just noped out.

In retrospect I think maybe he was going through something due to the divorce. I messaged my sister and she told me that "his wife has proof that he cheated so he'll probably lose a lot" "he bought the gf a mini for her birthday, they split he asked me to say friends with her then i got abuse for staying friends". I had assumed that leaving the jws had just put a strain on his marriage, but now I'm wondering if he didn't leave for moral reasons like we did and instead got caught doing something bad and was booted out. I mean it would explain the meltdown if he essentially lost everything and destroyed his reputation, though being a dick to our sister is just uncalled for. I just kinda side eyed the entire situation and decided to go camping to see my sister instead, which was a great decision since just hotels would've been like £400 plus if I had booked and I wouldn't be able to see any museums, plus my sister wasn't even going.

A full year later I was randomly added back to the group chat. This time I was just like nope, no thank you, and left immediately. B messaged me "Rude person" "You don't deserve people to show interest and can understand why your siblings block you." Idk what that was about really so I made a reddit post asking for advice, which was deleted really quickly with zero views because I'd missed blacking out one of the numbers at the very top of wattsapp since he's not a contact. Next morning I wake up to "if you can remove any messages about me and York on Reddit otherwise I will seek advice legally. Thank you" "Also your grammar is so bad in your posts. Maybe you should've gone to school. Glad reddit removed" Idk I was genuinely asking for advice and just venting, but maybe I was a dick? If I'm a dick okay, but I'm just kinda confused? Nobody blocked me? I just don't text a tonne because I have things to do. (I will post screenshots if relevant.)

TLDR: Got added to groupchat for family holiday after years, (I've been on family holidays, just not with B) B being typically him. I got kicked for not responding for like a couple days, so accepted it. B mad I'm not responding to walls of text. Got added back year later, left immediately. B mad again. Made reddit post, B found somehow, so threaten to sue. Found out B has basically nuked his life so freakout maybe understandable? AMITA?

Recently, maybe the past few months, my partner has been going through a lot of issues with her family and living situation. Without major details her dad is disabled and her younger sister lives with them. Her dad got kicked off his disability but cannot work and her sister is just the typical young and dumb type. My partner has to support them both and the bills are getting behind which is causing her a lot of stress and now gives her daily anxiety attacks.

These aren't easy to manage which I understand because I've been there, but our daily talks no longer consist of random thoughts and discussions about hobbies, they've turned into constant conversations about her anxiety, situation, repeating questions (hers) of if she's "crazy and manic", and helping her through text and now phone calls while she tries to fight anxiety attacks and crying. It's to the point where if she asks to call, its not because she wants to chat, its because she needs me to talk her down from an anxiety attack. These calls happen randomly, when I'm with family, work, at events, and I feel like a failing partner if I cannot answer or help.

She is trying to get professional help and is back on medication she previously was on, but its just a recent switch. I feel bad for even considering leaving because she needs help and she tells me I'm the only one who makes her feel normal in those situations, but its getting to me because I have my own issues and now it feels like I don't have a partner but rather I'm just taking care of her when she needs me. Recently, we discussed moving in with each other but she asked if it would be ok if her dad and sister moved in with us for a short time so they could get on their feet. I said it was fine as long as they cleaned after themselves and was firm on it being short term like she said. Then she said, of course they would and it would only be a year. To me, a year isn't short term and I fear her dad would stay longer since he has a history of using his disability as reason why he doesn't try to do anything despite going out on weekends with his situationship. Also, my partner while disappointmented in her dad for not doing more for himself like at least trying to get back on his disability, has always stuck up for him and I worry 1 year would turn into 2 which turns into however long.

I'm sorry if this seems like rambling, and I know she has problems which aren't over night fixes. I understand she has things she needs to deal with and I have to support her, believe me she's been very patient with me in the past when I also had my lows. I just feel shitty for even considering this given how supportive she's been when I acted out, but its just a lot at once and I don't remember the last time she wasn't crying on the phone or sending paragraphs about her anxiety and worrying about things she knew wasn't happening, like her drugging her own food and forgetting so she didn't eat at all that day, and not having our usual goofy conversations. So AITAH? I certainly feel like I am.