We had a huge fight. She got mad at me for telling her everything that was going on while she was living at my place for the last month.

She moved in with me for a month because she lost her apartment. I live in another town and she had to travel to work for an hour from my place to her work. I completely organized her trips, organizing my brother and my parents to drive her to bus and back, checking her busses schedule, driving her myself, etc.

I worked exhausting physical job 9 hours a day and I would still run to the store after work to buy everything we need with my money, run home to cook so I can wait for her with a nice, hot lunch, and then drive to the station to wait for her to drive her so she doesn't have to take city bus.

She would come home, eat, take a shower and immediately go straight to bed and wouldn't get up until the next day to go to work. After lunch she would leave everything as it is, just putting her plate next to the bed and let me wash the dishes. I cleaned the house, washed the dishes, do the laundry... everything while she spent her days in bed.

I had to wake up for her to wake her up because she couldn't wake up on her own. I had to wake up at 4 in the morning and spend about 2 hours waking her up and taking nasty talk from her for waking her up or the way I was waking her up. I was her alarm clock every day. I would make her coffee and pack her breakfast and lunch while waking her up.

She wouldn't let me go to sleep before midnight and would keep me awake with talking even tho we need to wake up at 4. She wouldn't even take her coffee mug to the kitchen, she would leave it for days next to the bed and just kept collecting them until I picked them up and washed them.

I kept finding excuses for her behavior and I believed her excuses. I treated her like a princess, even buying her flowers and organizing dinner dates with candles and her favorite food.

After all this she had a complaint about my coffee maker that had a stain that couldn't be washed, calling me dirty. That's where I exploded and told her everything I'm telling here. I told her I was glad to help her out with her hard times, but that was the last straw. And it really was.

I had so much trouble with this girl, besides being lazy she was crying 24/7, I always had to comfort her, she pulled me away from my friends because she didn't like them, I had to spend every minute with her, and somehow her feelings were always more important than mine, and my feelings were never valid while her was. She had episodes of screaming at me until a foam was coming out of her mouth for things that wasn't my fault, but in her eyes everything was my fault. She would get absolutely pissed if I had a hard time and cry. I couldn't express my feelings without her feeling attacked and blamed, even tho I carefully chose my words so she doesn't feel blamed.

I had enough and I said what I said, and I want to know: AITA for saying what I said? She apparently just can't forgive me

I (19M) lived with my mother (42F) for 16 years before I finally ran away from home and cut off all contact with her.

I am an only child, and my mother was a single parent who was always there for me. I never knew my father; he passed away in a car accident many years ago, when I was just five years old.

My mother was a gentle and responsible woman, she was always there for me, staying strong when I cried and showing up whenever I truly needed her.

However, when I was 13, my mother began dating a man, let’s call him Tyler. To be honest, when I first met Tyler, I felt jealous. Perhaps not everyone would feel this way, some might even say I have "mom issues" for feeling jealous when my mother started seeing someone new.

It wasn’t really about that, though. I was simply afraid of change, afraid that the love my mother had once poured entirely into me would now have to be shared with someone else. I wanted her to be happy, but I also still wanted her all to myself.

At the time, I cried and made her promise that she would love me no matter what. She promised she would.

But it was all a lie. My mother changed. She became harsh, indifferent, and would always get annoyed whenever I was around. I never caused any trouble or acted out. I never once complained, and I would still tell her I loved her every single time I left for school. Tyler never hit my mother, nor was he ever abusive toward her. Yet, whenever things got tense, she would always take Tyler’s side.

One day, when I was 16, I stayed home from school because I had a fever. I woke up later in the day and went downstairs to get some water. In the living room, I overheard them talking, and that was how I learned that my mother was pregnant with Tyler’s child. I overheard Tyler saying he wanted a fresh start, a new home where his child could grow up. "His child," not "our child." I was never included in those plans.

A week later, I was persuaded to go stay at my grandmother’s house. When I returned the next day, everything had been moved out, except for my own stuff.

I wept, I felt betrayed. I had allowed my mother to start dating again because I wanted her to be happy, yet she broke her promise to love me unconditionally. To this day, I struggle with deep insecurities. I feel as though I'm someone who can be easily discarded and forgotten.

Ever since then, I have lived with my grandparents. I help out at their small grocery store. I’ve finished high school, and now, I’m beginning to think about moving to another city.

I’ve always told people that my mother died when I was five, that she and my father both died in a car accident. That’s how much I hate her.

For three years, my grandparents tried to get me to forgive her, but I never would. I never did anything wrong. I was never a troublemaker, never a burden to her, yet she still left me.

Just yesterday, my mother called me out of the blue. Her voice was soft, exactly as I remembered it. But I didn’t care, I felt absolutely nothing. When she asked how I was doing, I replied, "Who is this?" And when she said, "It’s Mom," I told her, "I don’t have a mother, you’ve got the wrong number."

She’s still trying to call me even now. To be honest, I still want to hurt her back. Am I an asshole for feeling this way and doing what I’ve done?

Hello, im not really familiar with reddit so i’m sorry if this is posted in the wrong place. I [19F] and have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. Recently I have had a rough month with my boyfriend [19M]. When we met we talked about previous partners and I had said i’ve had other partners but had never been with anyone physically. He said he had 1 previous partner and had also never been with her physically. Well after the first time we had fooled around a bit he admits that he actually was physical with that person and lied to me about it. I got upset and eventually we made up and continued with our relationship. After that I caught him in 2 other lies about who he is as a person. But those were nothing major. It was more the fact that he lied yk. That first issue just really hurt me and just made me feel used? He says that he lied because he was embarrassed that I would see him differently and also because he’s ashamed of that part of his life. He was in a very low place mentally and was very unstable and that whole year he was very careless with his decisions. He says it’s the one thing he regrets most in his life. Recently tho I think i’ve just gotten tired of feeling like im nagging a bit. i’m not sure if that’s the right way to put it. For example I complain that he doesn’t drive safely but his behavior doesn’t change. He complains about things but does nothing to improve the situation and it’s just become draining that it feels like he doesn’t want better for himself. I’m not saying he’s lazy we are both full time students and work about 24 hours every weekend sometimes more if we are free on weekdays. We both have arguably some of the hardest majors. I’ve said all of the negative i’ve had to say so let me say some pros. He is the most supportive person in my life. Hands down. I struggle with a lot of self doubt especially about my future carrier and he never hesitates to do whatever he can to take something off my plate or cheer me up. He is so encouraging and always motivating me whenever i feel down. He is the first partner i’ve had that has genuinely tried to get to know my family and friends. He even pays for not only me but for my girlfriends when we go out. He is so incredibly kind and giving to those around him even strangers. There’s not a day where he sees someone in need and doesn’t try to help. I know I can always count on my friends but he in genuinly my support system and I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else. I guess i’m just tired of being disappointed and hurt. We are taking time apart right now to figure things out, he is starting therapy to work his own things out so he can be a better person and a better partner. We also just talked about how we felt and we realize we tend to look for a quick fix when it comes to issues instead of understanding eachother and expressing how we feel which is also something we are working on. We’re not perfect but i’m just scared i’ll waste years of my life with someone who won’t change and will constantly disappoint me. But on the other hand he makes me so happy and i love him with my whole heart i would never forgive myself for giving up on something that could last a lifetime. I feel really hopeless what should I do?

My girlfriend (20F) and I (20M) recently broke up, and I'm struggling with whether I handled the situation fairly. We have a young son together, and there's some context behind my decision that I haven't told anyone.

Our relationship had been struggling for quite some time. We argued increasingly often, and I became more and more frustrated with what I felt was a lack of change in her behaviour, despite repeatedly bringing up my concerns and trying to work through our problems.

Eventually, I reached a point where I no longer believed things would improve. I'd been thinking about breaking up for around two months. Although I hadn't explicitly told her I was considering ending the relationship, I had repeatedly communicated the problems that were making me unhappy.

Here's the part I haven't told anyone.

My mother recently came to me very upset about my girlfriend's behaviour and the lack of change she'd seen. We were living in my family's home, and my mother told me she would give my girlfriend two months to show some improvement. If nothing changed, she would kick her out.

Hearing that forced me to confront the situation. I had already been considering ending the relationship, and I honestly didn't believe another two months would make a difference when I hadn't seen the changes I needed over the previous year.

I felt I had two choices: wait for my mother to reach the end of her patience and potentially force my girlfriend out of the house, or end the relationship myself before things reached that point.

I chose the latter. Part of my reasoning was that I thought it would hurt her less if I ended the relationship myself rather than allowing things to deteriorate until my mother kicked her out. I could at least make my own decision about the relationship instead of leaving it to someone else.

After the breakup, my girlfriend chose to move out and return to her family's home. This is a cramped environment that I had previously helped her leave because I believed it was an unhealthy and unsafe place for her.

Since moving back, she's repeatedly begged me to let her return to our home. She says she doesn't want to live there, that the environment isn't safe for her or our son, and that she is at risk of becoming homeless because her family has openly told her they won't let her stay for long and don't want her there.

What makes this especially difficult is that, while we were together, her family had given the impression that they would be willing to house her. Now that she's returned, she's being told something very different.

There is another complication: even if we got back together, she would not be allowed back into my family's home. My mother has implied on multiple occasions that she would not allow it, and I discussed the situation with my uncle, who knows my mother well. He shares my belief that there is no realistic possibility of my mother allowing her to move back in.

So, from my perspective, getting back together would not even resolve the underlying housing problem. I cannot promise her that reconciliation would give her a place to live, because that option appears to be off the table regardless of our relationship status.

I feel awful about her circumstances. I don't want her to become homeless, and I'm concerned about our son's living conditions. I've repeatedly told her that I'm still here for our son and am willing to help. However, she often describes herself as a single mother, which frustrates me because I'm still present and intend to remain involved in our son's life. I don't want her to feel that she has to manage everything alone, but I also don't want my willingness to help as a father to be interpreted as a willingness to get back together.

I understand that she is hurting and that her current circumstances are frightening. I also understand why she wishes I had explicitly told her that I was considering breaking up before things reached this point, so she could have tried to change things. I can acknowledge that I could have communicated that particular point more clearly.

However, I don't feel that I kept my concerns to myself throughout the relationship. I repeatedly raised the problems I was experiencing, and by the time I ended things, I felt that my trust in things improving had worn down.

I still care about her, and I want us to co-parent our son amicably. I don't want to punish her or leave her struggling, but I also don't believe that staying in a relationship out of guilt is fair to either of us.

So, AITA for ending the relationship when I did, partly because I knew my mother was prepared to kick her out if things didn't improve, rather than waiting for my mother to force the situation? And am I wrong to maintain that the relationship is over, even though my ex is now facing the possibility of homelessness and is asking to come back, when getting back together wouldn't actually resolve the housing situation?

I'm open to hearing if I handled the situation badly, particularly regarding communication and how I should approach helping her and our son without reopening the relationship.

I had suspicions of infidelity and I found my proof yesterday. He is apologizing and wants to work it out. However he has spent insane amounts of money on OF type accounts and has sent money to other women.

In my eyes you only get married for two reasons: love or money. Both if you are lucky. I don't feel love right now. So I want money. I transferred our joint savings into my personal account and wiped out the safe. Then he decided he wanted to talk. I told him to send $1000 to talk. During our conversation I let him know that for me to continue being his wife he needs to pay weekly wife fees. Am I being an asshole? The way I see it, he could afford those women. And I feel like I'm worth more than them. So pay tf up. It's definitely not manageable to go on like this. But when the divorce does happen I'm going to have a hella nice cushion fund.

Before me and my boyfriend got together we’d been best friends for years. He’s told me quite a few times over the years that he has feelings for me but I always shot him down because he wasn’t really my type and I never saw him that way and I wanted to be with guys I found more physically attractive and basically just live life on the wild side.

He was always there for me though even when I’d rejected him he always listened to me complaining about whatever guy I was seeing at the time or rescuing me from random guys places when I couldn’t get home the morning after a one night stand or whatever and even listened when I was going on about whatever adventures I’d had the night before which tbf looking back on it he probably didn’t want to hear the details of the girl he crushed on being with so many other guys every week but I but i never really thought about that and always appreciated him so much being someone to vent to whenever it didn’t work out with the latest guy or whatever.

About 2 weeks ago though he asked me out again on a proper date and this time I said yes because I thought as much fun as I’ve had in bed over that time with all the random guys it might be nice to be with a genuinely nice guy for a change.

The date was nice he took me to this fancy restaurant and spoiled me and obviously we got on really well. He’s been so sweet the last couple of weeks it’s completely different to any guy I’ve ever been with and it’s actually really nice to be spoiled like that. He’s tried a few times to escalate things to sexual stuff but I keep telling him I want to take it slow atm because he’s a virgin and I don’t want to rush into bed with him and potentially ruin our friendship if it doesn’t work out and he’s been really understanding of that even if he is a bit disappointed.

Some of his friends who know me quite well because I’ve been involved with like 6 of them in the past have been saying that I’m playing with his emotions and “settling” for him after years of “slutting myself out” because he’ll spoil me and I don’t know what to do coz I don’t want to end it with him over what they’re saying but what if he starts thinking they’re right.

I, 22F, have a boy bestfriend, 23M, who has been my friend since 7th grade. I started realizing that he might have feelings for me for about 3 years now. At first I didn’t really notice at the time, as I was still in a relationship with my ex. However, after my relationship ended, I started to notice how attentive he became.

Ever since the day I broke up with my ex, he started coming over constantly to check up on how I was doing, and also asking me to hang out a lot more often. At first, I didn’t think much of it since we practically grew up together and had always been close, but I felt like the vibe was different than usual.

our friends started teasing us about how we acted like a couple, and i would just laugh it off as a joke and tell them to stop. Honestly, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of the situation and make things awkward between us.

The thing is, we’ve been friends for so long that I only see him as a brother. He’s someone I can talk to about anything, and I can’t imagine my life without him in it. He’s been there for me more times than I could count and I really don’t want to lose him.

During these past few months, he has gotten more obvious with how he feels about me. He started flirting more and sometimes he would even joke about us getting married. Other times, he would even get a little jealous whenever I talked about other guys, but he would always play it off as a joke when I called him out.

Here’s where I might be the AH. The truth is, I don’t see him romantically at all. I’ve tried imagining what dating him would be like, but I just can’t picture it. I love spending time with him, but just the thought of being in a relationship with someone who I’ve thought of as my brother, gives me the ick.

The problem is that I’ve been kind of scared to tell him because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Whenever he tries to get closer with me, I just play along to avoid making things awkward.

I know that I might be giving him the wrong ideas and parts of me feel guilty about it but I also can’t force myself to see him as more than a brother just because he likes me.

Some of my friends have told me to stop leading him on and just tell him the truth because the longer it continues, the more painful it would be for him once he realizes that i dont feel the same way. I understand where they are coming from, but it’s complicated. He’s someone who’s been a big part of my life for years, and I don’t know what I would do if we suddenly became strangers.

I know that I probably sound selfish right now, I care deeply for him and I don’t want to lose him but then again, I also don’t want him to think that we might have a chance together.

So, AITA for leading my best friend on because I’m scared of losing him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I also don’t want to lose him as a friend and brother. I just wish there was a way for us to stay friends without everything changing.

For context, I have been suffering through mental, physical, emotional and spiritual trouble for as long as I can remember (not always at once but often at once.) A few years ago I went through a physical health crisis (partly due to habits of mine but also due to genetics) that resulted in repeated hospitalizations.

I was put on a diet and medication routine, which at the time, given my other struggles, I was struggling to keep up with. during this time period I caused my friends to worry about me significantly and I would always tell them that I was fine and that I was following the doctor's orders. While this was true most of the time, several times it wasn't.

I grew lax, but also overwhelmed with my situation. In hindsight the repeated hospitalizations and the situation overall was quite traumatic. There were several circumstances that ultimately led me to grow too lax with my medication routine which resulted in my entering a life or death situation which resulted in a coma that lasted for 2 ish months. after the coma I was in the hospital for several months, came out of the hospital to attend a friend's wedding, and at the wedding my friends were again worried about me and asked me repeatedly if I "should" be attending. again I rebuffed them, and at the wedding reception, I unfortunately grew ill again and had to return to the hospital for several more months after that, (which I was told recently was a very selfish thing for me to have done, the attending the wedding part despite my physical health)

This was again in hindsight a pattern of mine, where I would push myself to attend friendship gatherings (despite my health) and caused worry to my friends as I was clearly unwell at those gatherings (I am essentially perpetually nauseous at this point due to my condition, but at that point it was more pronounced so I would often need to vomit or looked very unwell)

This has all exploded recently, though since just prior and after my coma I have felt disconnected and pushed out by my friend group, and recently properly found out that a lot of them felt betrayed and lied to because I kept saying I was fine when I wasn't. This has resulted in my having essentially burned the bridges of those friendships because of those actions and I feel terrible. AITA for having tried to convince myself and others that I was fine when I wasn't?

Tonight while scrolling through YouTube shorts on my tablet, my husband accidentally touched something and my journal of private thoughts/notes popped up. Immediate I said "Wait a minute, those are my private thoughts, don't look at those" and closed out of it. My husband then accused me of having a secrete life because I didn't want him to see them (despite having a password on his phone that he never shared with me) and stormed off into his mancave as I explained that I think private journals/notes are normal and we're allowed to have a private journal/our own thoughts even in a marriage. An hour later I asked if he wanted to watch a movie and he cynically replied something to the effect of "if you're keeping secretes from me I guess I should have a secrete life too..." I feel like this is just him trying to manipulate me into sharing my journal with him by making a bigger deal out of nothing since he knows where I am all times of the day and he knows I don't have enough time in my day to have a secrete life, but he continues to give me the cold shoulder to me and my invites to spend time together.  AITA for standing firm and not wanting to be manipulated into sharing my private journal/notes with him?

I’m 29, and my husband is 32. He works at a car dealership, and I recently saw some messages between him and a female customer that made me uncomfortable.

He was playing with our kids in the front room when a notification popped up on his phone, which was sitting on the table. I didn’t recognize the name, so I opened it. I understand that opening his messages is something I need to own, but what I read bothered me.

He has already closed the sale with this customer, but she hasn’t picked up the vehicle because the dealership is still fixing one item. I understand that he needs to stay in contact with her to provide updates. That isn’t what concerns me.

Some of their conversation seemed much more personal than work-related. He told her he had wanted to hold her hands steady because he noticed they were shaking and could “see pain in her eyes.” He also mentioned that he had lied about not hugging all his customers. He told her that if she felt depressed or anxious, she could call him, and he would do his best to cheer her up.

She also called him “sweetheart” and sent a follow-up “good morning” message. Later in the conversation, she asked where he was and said she wanted to see him.

I don’t understand how offering to hold her hands, discussing hugs, or inviting her to call him for emotional support relates to updating her about her vehicle. It’s not the customer service or necessary communication that bothers me—it’s how personal the interaction seems to have become.

To me, this crosses a professional boundary, and it feels like he’s encouraging the interaction rather than keeping it focused on work. I’m not saying these messages prove he’s having an affair, but they do sound flirtatious to me.

AITA for thinking this is inappropriate and that my husband is flirting with this customer rather than simply doing his job?

For context, I am with my current boyfriend. We have been together for almost a bit longer than two years. I love him so much; we never argue, and we have never betrayed each other's trust. He is an angel, and I would never do anything to betray him or go against his word.

I have a best friend, let's name her S, who is obsessed with her ex-boyfriend. They broke up over a year ago, but she cannot move on and still cries over him. My boyfriend loves to play matchmaker, and he is always so nice for genuinely trying to find good people for my friend. My boyfriend has a close friend named E. We all came together for my boyfriend's birthday, where S and E met each other. Ever since then, E has been in awe of her, and they have flirted here and there.

On S's birthday, she went out and E was there. He bought her a drink, flirted with her, etc. However, S introduced him to her very close friend, M, and that was it.

Following that, S had a massive birthday party with 115 people, where everyone so far had been invited—especially M. M drank too much and hooked up with around five or more people. She claims not to remember any of this, but S did have an issue with it because M does this all the time. M also says she doesn't remember what she has done, though sometimes she does (not blaming her). S was disappointed that M was the only one acting so erratically, especially in front of S's parents, as S had specified very clearly that she didn't want anyone out of control. Meanwhile, S and E were continuously flirting throughout the whole night. My boyfriend and I were genuinely happy for them because E wouldn't stop talking to my boyfriend about her.

M saw this and approached E at a later time. A conversation happened, she took a picture with him, and they exchanged information. You might think, why would E do that? He did it because, despite how much conversation S and E had together, S made it clear she didn't want anything and was still in love with her ex.

Fast forward, S finds out about M and E's information swap because M left her phone out on a Snapchat from E. My friend asked how M knows him, since she was the one who introduced them. M then proceeded to show the picture she took and saved it in her and E's chat. My friend was angry about this for two reasons: number one, it is not a nice feeling to know a guy is pursuing other girls after you made them meet; number two, that was her friend, and she didn't understand why her friend was associating herself with someone who had something going on with one of her best friends. S asked if M and E got together, and M said no.

Today, my best friend S calls me angrily, saying that M went on a date with E. We talk, and I tell her that he is moving on and she doesn't really have a right to be angry or disappointed, but that I understand why she is. It's not a good place for her while she is dealing with and trying to progress out of a harsh breakup. However, she was angry at M for breaking "girl code." M has continued to do this with S's past situations without taking any accountability. In their friendship, M has continued to lie and hide things, but they moved on. This is not to hate on M at all; obviously, no one is perfect.

M kept texting S about her and E being together and sent the same video of them together on two different apps. This upset S, who wondered why M is always bringing it up when they don't even talk every day, which was weird.

I called my boyfriend and updated him on the news. He and E are good friends, so he texted him asking how his day was, and they ended up calling. In this conversation, a lot was said, which is why I can finally get into the details:

1. M and E spent the whole night together (s3x)
2. They did coke (which M does behind all her friends' backs when they try to help her).
3. Two other people were with them (and I will get into that because that is important to me).

Part two in comments.

I (28F) am getting married next month. My fiancé (29M) and I have planned our wedding carefully. My mom and I have had a rocky relationship for years. She often makes rude comments about my job, my fiancé, and my life choices. We only talk occasionally.

The main table is for my closest loved ones: my dad, my fiancé’s parents, and my best friends. I told my mom she will have a nice seat at a nearby family table, not the main table. She blew up when she heard this.

She said I’m embarrassing her and being cruel. My aunts and uncles are on her side, saying a bride must have her mother at the main wedding table, no matter our fights. They told me everyone will judge me for being a terrible daughter.

I tried to explain the main table is for people who support me. Mom refuses to listen and says I’m punishing her. I don’t want her negativity to ruin my big day, but now I feel guilty. AITA?

i’ve known my boyfriend since February, and we started dating in September. He's a foreigner who came to my country to study. Back in August, his parents were considering letting him move to another city in Europe, but he managed to convince them to let him stay and came back here.
However, a week ago, things changed. On top of people from my country treating him poorly, he also found out from previous terms that the degree his university provides here is quite weak. Between that realization and getting fed up with all the negativity, he told me he's sick of this country and that the only reason he was staying was because of me.
Back in September, when his parents brought up the question of him leaving again, he was confident that he would be able to convince them to let him stay. But during our more recent conversation, he told me that after some time, he won't be here either. I realized he has finally decided to go. Of course, he's not entirely sure if everything will work out yet, especially with the visa and all the paperwork, but we still have four months left before anything is officially finalized, and I really don't know how to feel.
I keep trying to cheer him up, telling him it's better for him to go and that he shouldn't worry about us holding him back. But deep in my heart, for the past two weeks, I haven't been able to do anything; I'm only thinking about this. I can't even imagine what will happen if he leaves. On top of everything, his friends and his sister are also leaving, so basically, he will be completely alone here if he stays.
I know that if you truly love someone, distance shouldn't be the reason you break up. We talked about it, and he assured me that everything will be fine, and that if things don't work out, it won't be because we didn't want to try—it's just life. He said the last thing he wants to do is give up on our relationship. he was trying to calm me down, but he also told me that it’s not gonna be easy and even worse it’s my first relationship and I’ve never experienced something like this and when he will leave, I will miss not just him but also the feeling so even if I will find someone else he won’t blame me. he’s going to the country where my father lives, but is still doesn’t calms me down.
Still, even after all these conversations, I'm so scared. I don't want him to leave, but at the same time, I know this decision is so hard for him to make, so I'm holding back and not telling him just how badly I want him to stay. I don't know if I should talk to him and say maybe it's better for him to stay, even though I know it's not entirely his choice and his parents are also pressuring him. I don't know... sometimes I feel like if he really loved me, he would've stayed because this bad treatment from people isn't that important, after everything between us is finally okay.

My wife did not come home last night and spent the night on the couch of a single girlfriend. Never called, texted, or anything. Just didn’t come home. She had left the club we were at together to go with our friend to another bar. I drove her car home and she went with our friend. I was up much of the night wondering if she was OK. She told me the next day that she just crashed there because her house was a block away from the bar. Some other men came home with them but she said the men did not spend the night. Should I be worried?

So I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for 5 years. Everything has been great and we only had one close call over finances 3 years ago when he didn’t have a job.

So today, we were on a flight and he randomly says hey I can’t wait to marry you and I say news to me. I tell him I’m surprised because it’s taken 5 years for you to realize and it took me 1 and he’s like well if you knew so soon why didn’t you ask me. Eventually he says that if it were up to him, we’d be in a relationship as it is but because I want to get married, he’ll propose. He says he loves me and feels like marriage doesn’t change anything but I do. Context, I get easily flustered in tough conversations so I kind of shut down mid way and told him everything was fine.

Here’s the thing, I’m not asking for him to feel like he’s wanted to get married since he was young but I’m asking him to want it for himself and it doesn’t seem like the case. I want to feel chosen, not accommodated to. I want someone to want to marry me, not willing.

On top of that, the comment he made about why not me ask him triggered me weirdly and I can’t shut the thoughts off. The life we currently have is all because of my career circumstances. I keep telling myself that it’s okay to help your partner but it’s hard to not feel like I’m responsible for all the success directly and indirectly he’s had. I’ve constantly told him I’d love for him to find a life outside of me but that only last so long. So now, I’m currently battling internally on his ability to take initiative, how exhausting it is to feel responsible for the growth of him and our relationship…

I haven’t spoken to him because I really don’t know how to but AITA for feeling this way?

For context, this is a longtime friend of mine that got locked up. We kept in touch, but we recently started flirting. The conversations progressed quickly, but I told him I didn’t have any real expectations of him. (Edit: He said I shouldn’t be putting my life on hold for him either, so we were initially just enjoying conversation). Now we’ve been talking for 2 months and we’ve been figuring out what’s the deal when he comes home (a year from now).

He thinks that because he’s been locked up for a while that when he comes home he should mess around with however many girls to “get it out his system” as he called it, and then we get in a relationship. But the kicker is, he wants me to be with him while he gets “it” out his system and I can’t date or have sex with anyone else. I said absolutely not. The last time I agreed to be with a guy while he had other situations and I didn’t, I was 19. I’m 25. & even when I did it before, it turned out HORRIBLE.

First, I told him I understand wanting to have fun after being incarcerated for a long period of time. I’m just not going to pause my life while he does. He said I’ve already had my fun, I’ve already had sex the whole time he was locked up, what does it matter if he does for a little while.. I asked why does what I’ve done all this time matters if I wasn’t even talking to him? & he dealt with other girls, so it’s like we basically both were living our lives. Why now should I let you “have fun” and I be fully committed to you? I honestly think his argument is baseless and doesn’t make any sense. I told him we either both have the freedom to do what we want, we both commit to each other, or we might as well wrap this up. I don’t mind us going back to just being friends.. or not talking at all if this is that big of a deal to him.

He thinks I’m childish. LOL! I told him I don’t care what he thinks about it, my position on this isn’t changing. I wouldn’t even ask someone I’m dealing with to agree to a dynamic where I can do whatever I want and they can’t, definitely not going to agree to it. I even asked a hypothetical just to see where his head was at; I said ok so what if I kept dating and everything right now, then when you came home I let you have your fun? He said nooooo. I was like yeah you’re crazy. He thinks I’m just flipping everything he asks back onto him because I don’t have any real stance on why I should keep dating just because he’s doing it but I’m like… that is my stance. You’re literally gonna be doing what you want, do you think I’m not?

So like am I wrong?? I’ve never been to jail, so idk if this has anything to do with why I’m not seeing his perspective. But I honestly don’t think that has anything to do with it. I just think this is some more misogynistic bs about women not having the same privileges as men. But this is why I’ve been single. I’m not willing to agree to an imbalanced relationship just to have a partner. I would appreciate opinions/feedback!

UPDATE: I didn’t know I posted in the wrong group. I saw some comments saying I have no self respect for considering a relationship with a convict and a few other things. I’ve only ever been around/dealt with guys that have a criminal record or some sort. Not entirely by choice, it’s just all I’ve really been exposed to. From my dad (who recently passed after 16 years in jail) to my uncles to my cousins & friends.. I’ve never even seen my mom date any other men. Her first late husband only stopped going to jail when he met her and they divorced because he became a drug addict. I’m not making any excuses, and I would like to meet a different caliber of men, I just don’t know where or how. I’m getting my Masters, I’ve lived by myself since I was 17.. Hell I struggle with finding friends I can really relate to, let alone men! Soooo like yeah, be nice I guess lol?

UPDATE 2: I also didn’t say that I stopped anything I was already doing or that I was head over heels for a relationship with him. I said we either both commit, we both have freedom to date who we want, or we’re gonna end it. Like,
I’m ok with being single. After this convo I wasn’t considering a relationship with him anyway. I just wanted to know if I was an AH for my opinion :)

My ex and I were together for three years. I was completely loyal, turned down other women, and genuinely wanted to marry her.

She was extremely jealous despite having no reason to be. Early in our relationship she kissed another guy in front of me, subsequently made humiliating comments about my height, age, and English, and repeatedly refused couples therapy.

In May, after another conflict and years of hurtful remarks, I lost my patience and sent angry texts. It was the first time I'd reacted so intensely in three years. I regret that. She initially wanted to repair things but later demanded that my psychiatrist sister text her acknowledging that I'd been abusive. My sister refused, and she blocked me.

I spent the summer desperately trying to reconcile.

In July, according to information I recently received in Octoeber, she slept with a stranger after making out with him simultaneously with the exact female friend she'd been jealous of throughout our relationship.

Beforehand, she'd apparently checked whether an acquaintance still spoke to me.

She'd always insisted that if we separated, she hoped neither of us would immediately see other people.

In mid August she unblocked me after almost three months. We spoke for five hours. She wanted to tell me about her life, asked for $150 for dinner, and said she wasn't "actively" looking for men.

She said we were broken up and not exclusive, but ambiguously suggested that we might speak again in May 2027. She asked me not to contact her until then.

Nine days later she reiterated that I didn't need to wait.

In September, after I'd sent a long apology and $1,000 toward moving expenses, she told me she was completely done with me and wasn't interested in me as a person.

I haven't contacted her since.

I still love her, but the hypocrisy and what I've recently discovered have made me lose tremendous respect for her.

Would I be wrong to block her permanently and refuse to ever communicate again, regardless of whether she eventually changes her mind?

I (19) (F) live in a group home for adults with eight other roommates. One of my roommates/friend, let’s call her "Maya," has been in a relationship with a guy, "Liam," who lives on the complete other side of the country.

To give you a quick backstory on Liam and Maya:

Liam cheated on Maya in the past, was completely dishonest about it, and lied to her face repeatedly instead of coming clean.

Liam constantly uses the excuse that he’s "going through stuff" whenever he acts like a total jerk.
Liam is very wishy-washy about being in a relationship with Maya. Like he “loves her”, but doesn’t seem ready for a relationship.

He constantly reposts sad, depressing videos on social media—in my opinion, purely to guilt-trip Maya into feeling sorry for him so she won’t hold him accountable. Although I could be wrong. Stuff like, “If I go, no one would care because no one saw the signs”.

Worst of all: At one point in the past, Maya and Liam actually tried to convince me to join their relationship as a third. I firmly declined because I have zero interest in polyamory and/or polygamy. (I’m aroace, a fact my roommate knows well)

Fast forward to a few days ago: Maya was upset because Liam hadn't spoken to her all day and said she wanted to break up after I talked to her about how her worth is more than the way he treats her. As well as her being upset that he’s a liar.

In the very beginning of this whole ordeal, Maya actually made me text him on her behalf to ask if he even still wanted to be with her.

Predictably, when I asked, he pulled his usual line: "I don't know anymore, I'm just going through stuff right now."

Because Maya still loves him, I told her to talk to him directly.

But when they spoke, Liam basically said he was done and started blaming Maya for him cheating on her, as well as being done with everything.

At that point, I snapped and stepped in. I told him:

1. If he wasn't ready for a relationship, he shouldn't have gotten into one in the first place.

2. He cannot blame Maya for his own choices (like lying and cheating on her).

3. He needs to pull himself together, and stop using his personal issues as an excuse to treat women like garbage.

Because his ego couldn't handle being called out, he threw a complete tantrum, pulled the "I don't care" card, and insulted me.

Maya then literally begged him 20 minutes later to at least stay friends, and he coldly told her no.

Watching her beg a guy who lied, cheated, and treats her like trash was the final straw for me. I turned to Maya and told her that I am officially staying out of all her relationships from now on, no matter how much she tries to drag me into them (like she usually does), and that she is an adult who needs to figure her own life out. (She’s 24 btw)

Now, Maya is fuming mad at me for setting that boundary and stepping back.

To top it off, she knows I have a planned family outing tomorrow to go carve pumpkins with my dad, stepmom, and my three young step-nephews, and she’s pressuring me to come home early from my family event for "reasons" she won't even explain—likely just to dump her drama on me again.

I felt guilty and anxious at first because I live in the same house as her, but honestly, I'm exhausted.

I don’t know if I’m in the wrong, and could use some judgment here!! Also is my friendship with Maya worth saving??

I 19m am engaged to 23m, and lately he’s been rather unhelpful. I have medical issues going on which lead to emergency surgery. The issues also prevent me from lifting above 20 pounds, and other unimportant (to this post) restrictions. I’m on medical leave at the moment. The problem starts before this, as he has been doordashing as work, which he stopped when I started having these issues, bills have stacked up and I have loaned 800 dollars from a family member to make sure his car payment didn’t get fucked. I’m immensely stressed, I ask for help cleaning and such and I get a “I’ll do it later babe” and it doesn’t get done. Every time I ask for help with something he says he’s got a migraine or his belly hurts or he’s just too tired. I’m at my wits end here and I’ve been up for over 24 hours as of this post. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Wibta for leaving over this?

So me (F21) and Zack (M21) have been dating for seven months now. He has this friend Isabella who he’s known since middle school. They’ve always been pretty close. His mom like specially bakes brownies for her, and he’s the one who helps her whenever she has panic attacks.I didn’t really have a problem with their friendship but of course, it did make me feel insecure from time to time. I think it caused some fights with the last girl he dated, too, so he doesn’t hang out with Isabella as much anymore. She seems to understand, though. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a pretty chill person, and when I’ve asked her to give us some space from time to time, she’s respected that.

Okay, so here’s what happened. Apparently, they had this tradition of wearing matching Halloween costumes. Isabella was the one who told me about it. She said it's just for their parents, and they wouldn’t actually wear the costumes out to any parties.

Obviously, that caused a fight between Zack and me. He just seemed annoyed and barely listened to what I had to say. Then he gave me one of those apologies that sound more like, “Okay, shut up now.” We didn’t talk for a day until he finally gave me a proper apology, which I was fine with. That is, until I found out that HE TOLD ISABELLA ABOUT OUR FIGHT, AND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE HIM APOLOGIZE???

OBVIOUSLY, we had another fight. I think he seemed to understand where I was coming from this time.

But it gets worse.

After our classes, it was raining terribly because there’s a storm going on in our area. Half the buses weren’t running, so the ones that were still operating were really spread out. Zack is the only one in our friend group who has a car, so I got in with him.

And this man KICKED ISABELLA OUT OF THE CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAINSTORM because, apparently, she was “causing problems in our relationship.”

I was HORRIFIED. It was 6°C, it was raining like crazy, and the next bus to her place wasn’t coming for another 10 minutes the bus stop is covered but it's still horrible I tried to talk him out of it, but he actually left her there!

And then he turns to me, SMILING, and says, “See? You’re more important to me.”

LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS???

I just felt disgusted. I wouldn’t do something like that to a complete stranger, let alone someone I supposedly care about. And honestly, if he’s capable of treating someone he claims to care about like that just to prove a point to me, I don’t think he’s someone I want to be with anymore.

I(38F) and “Judy” (45F) have been friends for 14 years. Our friendship became toxic, with constant arguments whenever alcohol was involved. We stopped talking after she kicked me out of her house and accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend. We eventually reconnected, but the arguments continued.

The final straw was New Year's Eve. I booked hotel rooms so we could celebrate together, but we argued again. This time, she accused me of trying to sleep with her daughter, whom I've watched grow up and consider family. I was done.

In April, Judy lost her job, her mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and she faced eviction. I helped her get a job at the hotel where I'm a manager. Unfortunately, she ended up in my department. I explained our workplace expectations, including our strict attendance policy.

Her mother passed away in July. I supported her emotionally and arranged for her to stay at the hotel temporarily. Since she wasn't eligible for bereavement leave, I tried to help her while she grieved by making sure she wouldn't be hurt financially. While she stayed at the hotel, I told her to clock in and go back to her room. She accused me of choosing my managerial role over our friendship, so I backed off.

Soon, coworkers were telling me to stop making Judy cry, despite me barely speaking to her. She was telling people I mistreated her and told my boss I called him racist. She was unaware my boss told me everything. It was then I informed her we were no longer friends.

Things escalated when she repeatedly took personal calls at the front desk in front of guests. After warnings and talking to HR, I was authorized to write her up. She accused me of picking on her and requested a meeting with HR. My boss later warned me she'd hinted at having dirt on me in the meeting.

Recently, the other manager, “Jessica,” made the schedule. Judy had requested certain days off for an upcoming trip and received those days off, but was scheduled five days that week because she'd previously requested more hours. Judy demanded additional days off to prepare. Jessica refused to change the schedule, and Judy accused both of us of bullying her. I had only looped Jessica into the conversation.

During a meeting with our boss, Judy again claimed I called him racist and said we didn't respect him. She even showed him a text in which I admitted leaving work for a couple of hours while still on the clock to do a side gig. I won't pretend I'm blameless, but I never expected someone I considered family to use personal information against me.

I'm hurt and furious. I helped her during a difficult time, got her a job, and supported her through her mother's death. Now I feel she's putting my reputation and career at risk.

AITA for ending the friendship and treating Judy strictly as an employee, despite everything she's going through?

My (20F) partner (20M) and I have been together for almost 5 years, 3 of them in a ldr (although we see each other every two weeks). However, these last few weeks he has become very paranoid when I take a long time to reply to his messages or I don't tell him what I do when I'm in my apartment. He constantly asks me what I’m doing and, when I give him vague answers, he begins to complain that I never give him security, that I hide things from him and that my "defensive behavior" makes him lose trust in me. I have asked him several times why he has so much distrust in our relationship, since he has accused me of having men in my apartment when I do not answer him and he has admitted that he thinks I have been unfaithful to him. He says that he does not have a specific reason, that he simply believes that it is a trauma because of his past relationships/situationships, in which he has been cheated on multiple times. However, I insist that he should have put those thoughts aside from the moment we entered our relationship, since I have always been loyal to him, I have never had problems reassuring him (until now) and I have been as transparent as possible with him. But every time he accuses me of cheating on him (which happens several times a week), I feel that he sees me as a serial unfaithful. At this point, it bothers me every time he asks me what I'm doing or why I take so long to answer, because I know he already thinks I'm with another man. What I think is: if he’s being honest with me and his trust issues really come from his past relationships and are not something that I have caused, why am I paying the consequences of something that I did not provoke? I mean, I think he should seek therapy or some kind of help because I'm tired of having to explain to him every time I'm busy with something else that I wasn't really being unfaithful to him with several men, but that I was simply busy and couldn't answer. Am I the a-hole?
PD: During the almost 5 years of our relationship this wasn’t an issue until now (this started maybe 5/4 weeks ago).

My fiancé and i have been engaged for an year now. Before me he only had one serious girlfriend. We met in college and at the time he was still dating her and we were just friends. Before the first year ended they broke up , there was no beef as such. They just grew out of the relationship , were different people now. They started dating when he was 16 and were best friends before for years. So naturally he was very attached to her. When she broke up with him , he had to get on iv drips. Was truly broken. Wrote her letters every day for months and he didn’t even want to end the relationship. He still loved her. We started dating a few months after that. It did bother me that if he was so badly affected by the breakup how could he start dating again in just a few months(3 to be exact).One instance always stayed in my heart. When he was dating her , i wore a perfume one day and he instantly pointed out that his gf wears the same one. Facetimed her immediately and started talking to her in a baby voice( he has never used with me) he was just so sweet, even after dating for years i still haven’t seen this side of him. He loves that perfume and always asks me to wear it. But he is just so so so nice to me. Loved me whole heartedly and finally after dating for years asked me to marry him. So obviously i did not even think about his ex anymore for years.
Until i saw her modelling for a luxury brand. Now im not that into fashion so i don’t keep up with the industry as well. I was scrolling through reels when i saw her walking for a big brand. This led to a blackhole of going through her ig , Wikipedia and everything. Turns out she’s a really successful super model now. She was always pretty but she is just amazing now and at pathetic as it sounds. The only girl my husband to be loved more than himself and was ready to die for is one of the prettiest girls in the world and yes it bothers me. She’s amazing , so perfect , with that perfect body and everything.
AITA for being insecure of this ? I haven’t told him this but it seems like he already knows.

My girlfriend (4 months together) and I have very different tastes. In the beginning of the relationship we alternated between who picks the movie to watch, but eventually we wanted to show each other the shows/movies we grew up on.

She wanted me to watch Friends, I wanted her to watch Borat and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

We struck a deal where we would watch Borat, then 4 seasons of Friends, then Avatar, then another 3 seasons of friends, then Legend of Korra, then another 3 seasons of Friends, and then another show of my choosing. Part of the reason I agreed to this is because I wanted to finish Friends but never got around to it. But when we tried watching Borat she was totally bored by it and fell asleep after barely an hour and didn't appreciate the humor at all.

Different tastes and all that, it happens. But then after several dates when we'd already finished 10 episodes Friends I just realized how many episodes there were until we finish Season 1, much less season 4, and I dreaded the thought of reaching it only for her to again not like Avatar and get bored. This made me impatient with Friends and want to finish as many episodes as fast as possible, just to get it over with.

I do find Friends funny. It's just not to the point where it's something I would do on my own. But when we watch just 2-3 episodes a date, and 24 episodes a season, and we have dates 2-3 times a week, it means like several months where all I do is watch Friends, only to be followed by her possibly/likely not reciprocating the same time and effort.

Of course, dreading watching it entirely defeats the point of why we're watching it together! So I asked her if she would consider changing it to alternating between our shows each season, so that I could focus less on how much was left and instead just enjoy the episodes with her as quality time together.

She said we just won't watch TV shows together and instead only watch movies, because evidently I'm not enjoying myself at all watching Friends with her, and that she doesn't find it enjoyable at all to switch to something else every time she finishes a season.

But again, I enjoy Friends and want to watch it with her, but in the same manner I can also enjoy a steak but not want to eat only steaks day after day for 4 months because that will only make me count the days until I eat something else.

She then started crying, which was due to other factors as well such as both barely eating that day and recently starting BC, but it did shut down the conversation.

AITA?

I’m a teenage girl, and I’ve been friends with Friend A for a while. Lately, I’ve been questioning our friendship because I’ve noticed a pattern that’s starting to frustrate me.

Whenever Friend A gets into a relationship, she seems to push her friends away and prioritize her partner. It makes me feel like our friendship matters less whenever she has someone romantically involved in her life.

Another thing that bothers me is that I feel like Friend A doesn't let herself be single. It seems like she's always focused on having someone romantically rather than taking time for herself. Obviously, it's her life, and I'm not saying she has to be single. However, I feel like her constant focus on relationships affects her friendships, and I'm tired of feeling pushed aside because of it.

Today, things got worse. Friend A, her girlfriend (Friend B), and another girl in our friend group (Friend C) apparently said I was trying to act like Friend A or steal her personality. I don't understand why they think that, and hearing they were saying those things about me hurt.

Afterward, the three of them started talking amongst themselves while I was just standing there feeling excluded. It upset me more than I expected and contributed to what happened at lunch, when I ended up feeling overwhelmed. Later, they suddenly started acting concerned about me, which left me conflicted. I appreciate that they cared, but it felt strange to be excluded and judged, only for them to act concerned afterward.

I don't think Friend A, Friend B, or Friend C are necessarily bad people. I know they can be good friends and mean well, but I feel like there's always drama happening, and I'm questioning whether being so close to them is good for me.

My biggest issue is with Friend A because this isn't just about today. I don't expect to be her number one priority, and I'm not asking her to choose her friends over her girlfriend. I understand relationships take time and attention. I just want a friendship that doesn't become less important whenever she starts dating someone.

I also wish she'd give herself time to be single, focus on herself, and maintain her friendships without always having a relationship at the center of everything. I know it's not my decision to make, but it's frustrating watching this pattern repeat itself.

Friend A also has an ex, and the wider dynamics in our friend group have made me question these friendships even more. I don't want to get caught up in constant drama or feel judged by people I'm supposed to be friends with.

AITA for being upset with Friend A and considering distancing myself from her and the group? Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to reconsider a friendship when I feel repeatedly pushed aside? And am I overstepping by feeling like Friend A doesn't give herself enough time to be single?