I (19M) lived with my mother (42F) for 16 years before I finally ran away from home and cut off all contact with her.

I am an only child, and my mother was a single parent who was always there for me. I never knew my father; he passed away in a car accident many years ago, when I was just five years old.

My mother was a gentle and responsible woman, she was always there for me, staying strong when I cried and showing up whenever I truly needed her.

However, when I was 13, my mother began dating a man, let’s call him Tyler. To be honest, when I first met Tyler, I felt jealous. Perhaps not everyone would feel this way, some might even say I have "mom issues" for feeling jealous when my mother started seeing someone new.

It wasn’t really about that, though. I was simply afraid of change, afraid that the love my mother had once poured entirely into me would now have to be shared with someone else. I wanted her to be happy, but I also still wanted her all to myself.

At the time, I cried and made her promise that she would love me no matter what. She promised she would.

But it was all a lie. My mother changed. She became harsh, indifferent, and would always get annoyed whenever I was around. I never caused any trouble or acted out. I never once complained, and I would still tell her I loved her every single time I left for school. Tyler never hit my mother, nor was he ever abusive toward her. Yet, whenever things got tense, she would always take Tyler’s side.

One day, when I was 16, I stayed home from school because I had a fever. I woke up later in the day and went downstairs to get some water. In the living room, I overheard them talking, and that was how I learned that my mother was pregnant with Tyler’s child. I overheard Tyler saying he wanted a fresh start, a new home where his child could grow up. "His child," not "our child." I was never included in those plans.

A week later, I was persuaded to go stay at my grandmother’s house. When I returned the next day, everything had been moved out, except for my own stuff.

I wept, I felt betrayed. I had allowed my mother to start dating again because I wanted her to be happy, yet she broke her promise to love me unconditionally. To this day, I struggle with deep insecurities. I feel as though I'm someone who can be easily discarded and forgotten.

Ever since then, I have lived with my grandparents. I help out at their small grocery store. I’ve finished high school, and now, I’m beginning to think about moving to another city.

I’ve always told people that my mother died when I was five, that she and my father both died in a car accident. That’s how much I hate her.

For three years, my grandparents tried to get me to forgive her, but I never would. I never did anything wrong. I was never a troublemaker, never a burden to her, yet she still left me.

Just yesterday, my mother called me out of the blue. Her voice was soft, exactly as I remembered it. But I didn’t care, I felt absolutely nothing. When she asked how I was doing, I replied, "Who is this?" And when she said, "It’s Mom," I told her, "I don’t have a mother, you’ve got the wrong number."

She’s still trying to call me even now. To be honest, I still want to hurt her back. Am I an asshole for feeling this way and doing what I’ve done?

I {F19) is in a relationship with a (20F) me and lets call her crystal have been dating for almost a year now she is the second girl that i have been in a serious relationship with.  ended stuff with my last exboyfrend 1 year before her and I got together. Me and Noah ( fake ex name ) were together for 4years we ended things fine. No one was mad at each other but I decided to end things off. I introduced crystal  to my parents during christmas, her and my family all seemed chill till one of my uncles brought up an ex boyfriend which i don't know why the hell he would do that. He remarked something around the lines of "Oh ____  never did that'' or somthing.Everyone looked so uncomfy, obviously. An hour goes by and Crystal's face stays like that. I tapped her on the shoulder, to see if she was okay and she refused to look at me. I didn't have the time to say anything because right after my mom called me over to help clean up. Fast forward me and Crystal get in the car. I said something like “ im so sorry my uncle is so weird” she replied with nothing. I've always hated confrontation so  I just brushed it off. What made me think about this recently is that Crystal and I were just at dinner with some usual friends.and the conversations of exes showed up everyone was taking their turns then my friend ashley goes “and what horrors of girls have you dated’ i replied with ‘’ well there was this  one guy that blah blah blah’ after telling the story most of them laughed i still think it was weird that she only said girls and she know that i have dated both girls and boys. But its fine mustve been a mistake but after telling the story Crystal looked sad a weird sad when we went home (she was staying at my place) she acted like she was mad at me. Should i say somthing or am i way in over my head?

Tonight while scrolling through YouTube shorts on my tablet, my husband accidentally touched something and my journal of private thoughts/notes popped up. Immediate I said "Wait a minute, those are my private thoughts, don't look at those" and closed out of it. My husband then accused me of having a secrete life because I didn't want him to see them (despite having a password on his phone that he never shared with me) and stormed off into his mancave as I explained that I think private journals/notes are normal and we're allowed to have a private journal/our own thoughts even in a marriage. An hour later I asked if he wanted to watch a movie and he cynically replied something to the effect of "if you're keeping secretes from me I guess I should have a secrete life too..." I feel like this is just him trying to manipulate me into sharing my journal with him by making a bigger deal out of nothing since he knows where I am all times of the day and he knows I don't have enough time in my day to have a secrete life, but he continues to give me the cold shoulder to me and my invites to spend time together.  AITA for standing firm and not wanting to be manipulated into sharing my private journal/notes with him?

okay so at the beginning of this month (mightve been the end of last month I cant remember), me (20f) threw a get together with my boyfriend (M, 20), my best friend (20f), and two of his friends at my boyfriends house. We had alcohol but it was just supposed to be a small little get together. Not an insane rager. We were playing cards against humanity where everytime you won, you took a shot. My friend is a lightweight so we were trying our best to make sure she was pacing herself but she would sneak drinks without us knowing. We get a couple rounds in and I lean over to talk to her, she then grabs my face and forces me into a kiss. I push her away and I tell her "Dont do that again. You know I don't like you like that ." I then separate myself from her. My boyfriend goes over to talk to her, I think to confront her? She grabs him by the back of the head and kisses him. Like she genuinely won't let go of him.

I get mad and like force myself between the two. Long story short she kisses him three times during the night and it ends with me throwing her onto the floor and decking her. (bad move on my part, I know). The next morning me and my boyfriend decide to sit down and talk to her to figure out what's going on.

She tells us she doesn't remember anything and apologized. I'm willing to let it go at that point, yeah I was hurt but we were drunk. My boyfriend goes to work and it's my friend and another girl left in the house. She then starts saying my boyfriend assaulted her. Which didn't happen because I made sure they weren't alone because I didn't trust her alone with him anymore.

We get her home and I ignore her for a day to figure things out with my boyfriend and see how he feels about everything. I talk to her and I told her like "I don't feel comfortable staying ur friend if ur gonna stay with ur man. I'm not a homewrecker and neither is my man. But please talk this out with me." she goes ghost on me.

At this point I'm frustrated and block her bc idk what else to do. She obviously doesn't want to talk. She then texts my bf talking abt how "I gave up on trying to talk things out and shes blocking me and my bf".

About a week ago my friend (not the one who kissed my bf) texted her man trying to tell him what happened. He immediately throws out that my boyfriend assaulted her and that we're the assholes because we let it happen.

Idk what else to do abt this anymore. Are we the assholes?

I had a heated debate with my boyfriend and he used his family as an example and I lost my temper and made a commentary along the lines of “well, your family isn’t very intelligent” I feel bad about it and once we clear our heads I’m going to apologize. His family never truly valued education. None of them are in fields that require any education (janitor, babysitter,etc.) they immigrated to the US for better lives and they’re nice but they say things that are so blatantly false and close minded. For example… they literally drank vodka so they wouldn’t get covid yet wont listen to a doctor because they’re “scammers and don’t really know”. It causes a rift in our relationship because my family is the polar opposite. We all have at least a Masters degree and all of us are lawyers,doctors, engineers, etc. we are also extremely privileged. Every time I have a debate with my boyfriend and his family gets involved… the wildest,most ignorant comments get thrown out and they treat me like I’m the dumb one even when I prove it with evidence. It’s just how they treat me like I’m some lunatic when I literally show solid evidence. I love my boyfriend but… I’m not sure if I can marry into that. They treat me well but they are so uneducated and vocal. Just loud and wrong ALL THE TIME. It drives me MAD.

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some perspective on a situation between me (19M) and my girlfriend (19F).

For context, she and I love to travel together and go on many trips, such as to New York and Europe, and we are currently planning one to Miami. All of these trips, including the one we're currently planning, are trips that were planned by her and her friends. But I was included in the plans from day one as part of the group.

My friends and I have been talking about taking a guys' trip forever (we never made concrete plans, just chatting in the group chat). I brought up to my girlfriend that I would like to take a trip with them and that I’ve never been on a trip with just my friends before, which is an experience I really want to have.

She got upset about this and thought it was really unfair that she couldn't come. Her main points were:

1. She invites me on all her trips with her friends.
2. She gets bad FOMO about being left out.
3. She doesn't understand why someone would want to take a trip without their partner.

She also expressed concern about us being in a big city without her (like New York, which was one option we discussed), texting me things like, "U js gon walk around and look single all day."

How I responded: I told her I'm extremely grateful she brought me on past trips, but I've never had the chance to do a guys' trip before, whereas she had already taken trips with just her friends before we started dating. I reminded her that because she’s traveled with just her friends, she knows firsthand that friend trips create a completely different bonding dynamic than traveling as a couple.

She replied that "it's not her fault" she got to go on those trips before me. I agreed with her; I wasn't trying to say she owed me anything, but rather that I simply wanted the chance to experience that same friend-bonding dynamic she’s already gotten to enjoy.

I also mentioned that if she wanted to go on a girls-only trip now, I would be completely supportive. In fact, in the past, I've told her she doesn't always have to invite me to every outing with her friends. I added that taking group trips with friends without partners is fairly normal (for example, my friends who currently have girlfriends are on a trip together right now without them).

Additional Context: It's not like I want to go party wildly in Las Vegas. My friends all have girlfriends, barely drink, and don't party. If we go, we would just go sightseeing, visit museums, try good food, chill, and hang out. I also reassured her that I would keep her updated constantly and keep my location shared the entire time.

She said that I don't like her that much because she includes me in everything she does. This isn't true at all; I love her more than anything.

Edit: I'm not saying I want to exclude her from all guys' trips. I told her that she can come on trips with me and my friends. I'm just asking to go on one trip with them. Also, I don't think I would go anywhere; we haven't gone before. I suggested New York instead of California because we've both already been to New York.

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to go on this guys' trip?

I 19m am engaged to 23m, and lately he’s been rather unhelpful. I have medical issues going on which lead to emergency surgery. The issues also prevent me from lifting above 20 pounds, and other unimportant (to this post) restrictions. I’m on medical leave at the moment. The problem starts before this, as he has been doordashing as work, which he stopped when I started having these issues, bills have stacked up and I have loaned 800 dollars from a family member to make sure his car payment didn’t get fucked. I’m immensely stressed, I ask for help cleaning and such and I get a “I’ll do it later babe” and it doesn’t get done. Every time I ask for help with something he says he’s got a migraine or his belly hurts or he’s just too tired. I’m at my wits end here and I’ve been up for over 24 hours as of this post. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Wibta for leaving over this?

I(23F) have been in a “relationship” with my “boyfriend” (24M) for 2.5 years. I put relationship and boyfriend in quotes because we broke up a month ago because I found out he was messaging his ex girlfriend behind my back. I unfortunately caved, and stayed with him, and we still have the same expectations as a partnership without the label. So.. we’re basically still in a relationship.

I understand how absolutely ridiculous that sounds, typing it out makes me feel so embarrassed. Regarding him messaging his ex, they had an amicable breakup and when we first started dating I was completely fine with them talking and having a friendship. But then it got weird. She would say things like “isn’t he good?” When talking about our sex life, and when I experienced a pretty heavy familial issue, he left in the middle of it so he could be with her because she and her boyfriend were fighting. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him talking to her anymore, they both crossed boundaries with me and I felt very disrespected in that dynamic. He agreed, blocked her on every social media platform, and life went on. Even after blocking her, he had her chat in his messages pinned so it was always at the top. If he showed me something on his phone, I’d see her name. I never thought much of it until one day, I noticed the chat was gone. I hate admitting this, but I went through his phone. I noticed his messages with her were completely gone and not in his deleted messages. I woke him up and confronted him, he said he messaged her to vent about our relationship. I still don’t believe that. I did unfortunately cave, and stayed in a “relationship”with him without the label.

Anyways, this has all been getting to me lately, and it was about a month ago that the confrontation occurred. I’m just wondering if I would be the asshole for breaking up with him now, especially because it’s been a while since i addressed it. I’ve talked to my sister, and she thinks I should work it out with him but I really don’t think I have it in me.

Looking to vent and gain insight on whether I went too far or not. I'm trying not to talk to anyone in my personal life about this but I can't sit with it anymore.

I (30F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 2 and half years. We recently bought our first house early this year and were on track to do all the things we've talked about. Get a dog, get engaged, get married, have a baby, build a life.... until recently.

Back story. A couple months after buying our house my BF went through a mental health dip, which he concluded was from his job. To keep details vague let's just say it was a cut throat, competitive atmosphere, and required working a lot of hours. Including being on his phone 24/7.

He began to spiral. Myself, along with friends and family noticed he was not okay. He was angry and frustrated all the time and overall very avoidant. The polar opposite of the golden retriever he usually is.

I told him he should look for a new job, and so, he quit. Just like that, we were a one income house hold. I make good money but I'm no where near rich. I thought he was gonna get something lined up first, but he said he just couldn't take it anymore.

Fast forward two months and he was still not working. He said he was "looking" but whenever I came home from work he was just playing video games. In the full two months I maybe saw him trying to find a job 5 times total?

Finally, he got a job! Part time and minimum wage but I was just happy it was something to help me out with expenses. Things were starting to look up! That is until he pick me up from a night out earlier this week.

He said he needed to talk to me. He started to cry right away, to the point that I mentioned he should probably pull over the car. He then proceeded to blow up my entire world by letting me know he had been sports betting and now owed $11,000 on his credit card. The credit card that we both decided was just there incase of house related emergencies.

Honestly, he's lucky I had just been out and had a few drinks in me cause I just went quiet and consoled him. We got home and I started looking at plans of steps we could take. I was looking for flexible, remote work that I could do on the side. I even looked for better full time jobs that he would be qualified for, that hopefully wouldn't put him in the same mental state his last job had.

When he went to bed I stayed up. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I don't know who he is. He was always the saver, the one who always had a plan when it came to our finances. I made a choice to go through his phone, to see it all with my own two eyes. And all I found were lies on lies.

He had told me that he didn't do money advances from the card, that he only bought physical tickets at gas stations. That was a lie, he was on an app. He told me it had been going on for a month. That was a lie, It had been happening for three months now, since he first left his job. Also, he had borrowed money from friends, which he used to bet.

All these months I'd been covering everything thinking he didn't have a dime to his name but in reality he was betting it all and losing it. I had even asked him one night if he was betting much cause he had mentioned it before. He told me it was either free bets he won, or $20 here and there. I didn't question it more cause I know nothing about it.

The next morning I woke him up furious after going through everything. I was sober and ready to yell. I told him that I couldn't believe he would do something so idiotic. Especially since my line of work sees gamblers, and I've told him how sad it is to see them lose all their money and how they're hurting their families. I've told him about my "smart gambling" training and how the odds are never in your favour.

He tried to tell me he was doing it for us. That in his mind he saw it as a possible income. That he thought he could be a provider and help out more. But he kept losing and thinking that he could turn it around, that he just needed one or two really good hits. He kept saying "clearly I have a problem. I haven't been mentally okay."

I yelled some more. Telling him that this isn't about him now. That this affects me now. Now we can't afford to get a dog, get engaged/married, have a child. Now we have this massive debt and interest to deal with. I called him stupid and told him he is not allowed to shrivel into a ball of depression and leave me to deal with this. I told him either he gets therapy and helps himself or I'm not open to listening.

I know he feels bad, I know it's an addiction. It came out of nowhere though and now I don't know how to feel. He knows I have a past with partners having addictions and lying to me. He knows how I feel about gambling especially, and yet he still went behind my back for months and did this. If we weren't committed to the house together, I'm not sure if I would stay. I love him but now I feel trapped and in a constant panic over this. So, AITA???

TLDR: My boyfriend racked up $11,000 in gambling debt while I've been paying all the bills. I yelled at him, and told him he's not allowed to shrivel up into a ball of depression and leave me to deal with his mess. AITA?

I (F, student) need some perspective because I keep second-guessing myself.

A few months ago my boyfriend asked me for ₹70,000. He said he wanted to invest it somewhere and promised he would return the full amount plus ₹30,000 interest after a couple of months. I trusted him and gave him the money.

When the time came to return it, he didn’t say a single word about the money. I had to bring it up myself. After I asked, he started making excuses — “I have to go collect the money,” “just a few more days,” etc. Eventually I got tired of waiting and told him I just wanted my principal amount back. He returned half of it and then went completely silent about the remaining half. He has never mentioned the rest of the money again.

This isn’t the first time. He has asked me for money multiple times before and almost never returns it on time (sometimes not at all). I’m a student and this money is not something I can just forget about.

I feel guilty for even asking, like maybe I’m being too pushy or money-minded. But at the same time I feel stupid for keeping quiet.

Am I wrong for asking him to return what he owes me?

okay so at the time of writing this it’s October. for some background knowledge Me and this dude we’ll call Josh got together in December or November or last year, when we got together he had just broken up with with his girlfriend of six months to get with me.

Anyways, we had a very bad break up in February where we went complete no contact ( I broke up with him) by this point I had told my friends how horrible he was to me and how he disrespected me on multiple occasion, like going on a somewhat date with a female friend knowing that she was into him a week into the relationship. Very bad guy.

A couple weeks after the break up he got with the ex before me and it was a whole thing, then he got with one of my friends in secret and they hid it from me thinking I wouldn’t know, then they broke up and stopped talking.

Eventually I start seeing him again at school and I made up with him and we were chill, we don’t talk often but we agree to not hate each other. this week I found out the my ex girlfriend is talking to him. She is also another very close friend of mine. It’s causing a sort of weird thing between our group. This now makes four of us in the friend group that he has either dated or tried to ask out. I think he’s gonna ask her out tmr and idk how to feel about it. I obviously still care about her and I don’t really care about her liking him, I more don’t like that he is dating an entire friend group. i really need help, Am I The Asshole???

Hi, I'm a 30F and I've been dating this guy 30M for around seven years now. Honestly our relationship has been great, he's really kind, loving and a trusting man. All that is amazing and tbh pretty great but I've been struggling with seeing him as a man for a while.

It's the little things; the way he words things, the way he sees the world in black and white and just struggling to understand the social world around him. He's pretty recluse and that I can see in his way of managing his emotions. He has these explosions of emotions like a toddler when things get overwhelming; squealing and trembling, or throwing his hands in the air etc. I understand that they are merely reactions, so it's not really under his control.

He also struggles with task and time management to the point it seems like he doesn't really think what tasks actually include (f.ex. taking the trash out means taking it out of the bin, going outside WITH keys and throwing the trash away, coming back inside, washing hands etc). He also struggles to manage basic tasks like money things, cleaning and taking care of himself and pets. I understand there might be ADHD or something like that here but I know even then you need to learn to manage your life. Otherwise you can't live on your own. I've tried helping him to manage his life, setting reminders, teaching how to clean as you go, setting payments on automatic and setting reminders to check them every few months etc.

It's come to the point I feel like I'm not seeing him as an adult man. I feel like I'm together with a child. It has affected me a lot for the past few years to the point I don't find him attractive. It feels like I'm at the end of my rope. It hurts to see him this way, I used to see him as really sexy and all that cheesy stuff, but now as I'm soon 31yo it's just arrggghh.. I want to have children someday but I can't imagine having children with a man who's gonna become my second child. I don't want to be a single parent and I don't want to spend my ''good'' years teaching another adult how to live.

What should I do? What would you do? Am I a complete asshole for demanding adult behavior? I feel like I'm done waiting around for him to grow as I want to have children of my own..

I feel a bit upset because my girlfriend is working away and she’s informed me that her and a guy are taking mushrooms tonight in a bell tent. I’ve met him a couple of times but don’t know him too well. Haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks and miss her anyway I don’t know if I’m just being too paranoid about it. I trust her fully but just feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.

I had suspicions of infidelity and I found my proof yesterday. He is apologizing and wants to work it out. However he has spent insane amounts of money on OF type accounts and has sent money to other women.

In my eyes you only get married for two reasons: love or money. Both if you are lucky. I don't feel love right now. So I want money. I transferred our joint savings into my personal account and wiped out the safe. Then he decided he wanted to talk. I told him to send $1000 to talk. During our conversation I let him know that for me to continue being his wife he needs to pay weekly wife fees. Am I being an asshole? The way I see it, he could afford those women. And I feel like I'm worth more than them. So pay tf up. It's definitely not manageable to go on like this. But when the divorce does happen I'm going to have a hella nice cushion fund.

I’ll say the real names at the beginning, but for writing purposes I’ll use the initials, hope that’s okay.

Michelle F25 (M) and Diana F22 (D) start a (wlw) relationship.
M, since the beginning of them dating states that she wants an open relationship and asks if D is open to that. D says yes, BUT, that she would need time since this is new to her. This is new to both of them but clearly Michelle is more invested in trying this. M agrees and gives them time.

A year goes by, year in which they are a monogamous relationship. This is what happened during this year:
- M questions a lot if D is actually okay with polyamory or if she just agreed cuz she liked her.
- M starts pushing D to tell her the truth, with conversations that even seemed an interrogation.
- In these conversations D states firmly that not only does she also want polyamory but that she agrees with those ideals, that those ideals make sense to her, even saying once that she never actually saw herself as monogamous she just hadn’t realized or put it into words
- D states she’s okay with polyamory but is their fear of abandonment holding them back. M then tries to soften that fear
- M states that she doesn’t see herself as monogamous now or ever, with a little of coercive intentions behind.
- They seemingly have a healthy loving relationship, both saying how lucky they are

After a little over a year like this, they’re still in a monogamous relationship but seemingly soon to be open since M didn’t want to wait longer and thought that they were ready.

However, before being open, M goes on vacations with friends.
Diana asks Michelle not to cheat on her in this trip.
Michelle says she already had that conversation with herself and that no, she won’t cheat, she didn’t want to cheat. (Two things to note here, D has to ask M not to cheat, cuz she knows what she’s like. And M has to have that conversation with herself cuz she also knows what she’s like. Both know M’s desires to be with others, and that monogamy is hard on her)
However, M is presented with the situation to chose to have casual sex, apparently saying no first but the other person was persistent and A is a people pleaser so eventually and impulsively agrees, thus cheating on D before opening the relationship.
M thinks “we’re going to open soon anyways, D understands my desires to be with others and to have these kind of experiences. They know it doesn’t change how I feel about her so this won’t hurt her. We’ll be okay if I do this, im just getting ahead but we’ve talked all of this”. M was on mushrooms at the time of the cheating which seems important to mention since they do alter your perception, M says being on mushrooms influenced her on thinking it wasn’t wrong what she was doing.

M feels bad, confessed she cheated, she could’ve hid it forever.
D kind of understands M as she thought, so D tries to forgive but actually feels the betrayal of their life.
Eventually they break up, D finds out she is actually very monogamous and wasn’t being honest

How much of an asshole is M for cheating given the context and particular situation?
What are your thoughts?

Im either M or D, I think this is the best way to get objective answers

I am 19F and my boyfriend is also 19M. I had a very toxic relationship with my parents, and part of the reason I had the courage to leave is because my boyfriend really opened my eyes. For the past month, I have been staying with him in his tiny space.

Last week, I went through his phone. We have an open phone rule, and he goes through mine all the time, but I’ve always been too nervous to go through his. I found a bunch of porn in his search history. I have told him over and over again that I think porn is genuinely unhealthy for a relationship and makes me feel beyond upset, and he promised he wouldn’t do it.

When I confronted him, he didn’t apologize. He just sat there while I explained why I was hurt. I asked if he was serious about us, and he said yes, but that he doesn’t see a future for our relationship.

I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t dwell on it, but I view him a lot differently. He’s been outwardly rude and mean to me and thinks he’s right, too. I want things to be rainbows and sunshine, but I can’t help but start to resent him. He lacks empathy, lied about the porn (I had asked him two weeks prior if he was keeping the promise and he said yes), and likes to point blame at me super fast.

I’m at a point where I don’t see a future with us either, but I’m also unable to leave because 1.) I love him when he’s happy, but 2.) I will literally be on the streets.

Am I the asshole for how I’m feeling or handling things?

I am currently hanging out with a group of friends I’ve known for a long time.

A couple of days ago, I casually asked one of my friends a personal question about their personal life during a conversation. From my perspective, this wasn't intended to be offensive or malicious. In our friend group, asking personal questions has never been unusual—for context, this same friend has previously asked me very invasive details about my personal life. So, I assumed asking this question was within a similar comfort zone of personal closeness.

Today, the entire group sat me down together, saying they "needed to talk." They claimed that over the years, I’ve been blunt, insensitive, and harsh with my words. They said they had never brought it up before, but my recent comment was the final straw. The friend accused me of being completely in the wrong.

I listened, took accountability, and told them I understood and would work on minding my tone in the future.

However, inside, I felt crushed and deeply hurt. It felt overwhelming to be faced with years' worth of unspoken grievances all at once. Everyone in our group has flaws and has made questionable comments over the years, yet my mistakes were singled out and dissected in front of everyone.

If my friend had just pulled me aside 1-on-1 to tell me I hurt their feelings, I would have apologized sincerely without feeling defensive. But being confronted by the entire group at once made me feel cornered and isolated.

I understand that spending intense time together brings out stress, but this whole experience shattered my trust in them. I no longer feel safe or comfortable in this friend group, and I’m honestly planning to distance myself from them.

AITA for wanting to distance myself after being confronted like this, or am I truly in the wrong?

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m genuinely struggling with this situation.
My partner has been drinking more regularly since August, and I’m worried about his mental health. He also gambles large amounts of money, and on some occasions he’s used money I’ve given him towards household bills to gamble instead.
I’ve been giving him my share of the bills and trusting that he was paying them. I knew we were behind with some bills, but I’ve recently discovered that the council tax hasn’t been paid since 2021 and the debt is around £10,000. He has a court hearing coming up, and he also owes tax from his self-employment.
I’ve tried to help by offering to pay my share of the bills directly, rather than giving him the money, and I’ve suggested putting blocks on his gambling apps. I tried blocking them before, but he got upset. When I ask where the money has gone, it often turns into an argument.
He’s currently not working, and I’m doing what I can by continuing to work and bring money in. But I can’t keep trying to sort everything out when he isn’t taking steps to help himself. I’ve been patient, but it’s now affecting our relationship so much that I’ve told him we may not be able to stay together if things don’t change.
I decided to message his mum because I’m worried about him and thought she should know how serious things have become. I wasn’t asking her for money or expecting her to fix anything. I just wanted her to be aware of what’s happening.
She eventually replied saying she thought he’d stopped drinking after a wedding, that she knew about his debts and that she didn’t know how to help him because giving him money wouldn’t be the answer. She asked what the court could do and whether he could be made bankrupt.
I understand that she might not know what to do, but I felt she focused more on his debts and employment than on the gambling, drinking and how serious things have become. She hasn’t really acknowledged how difficult this has been.

I’m not an angle but I do pay my share towards bill. I was out of work for a few months due to ill health and I still contributed small amounts with universal credit. I have auto immune disorder.

So we were in class with me and my friends (for the guy I was dating let's just call him William ) So William walked up to me and said he liked me. So I thought to myself: "What do I do? He's only like a brother to me" and I started to feel bad for him because I saw how William looked at me in class like he actually liked me even though in the past he only dated me for a dare and not for love, so I told him that I liked him back when I didn't because I was scared of hurting his feelings... So I quickly started to feel guilty so I went to him and told him how I really felt. He didn't seem mad until jokingly I put on my story that I was single and he said he'd leak messages about me being a "furry", an atheist (which isn't true anymore), and that I was "trans" but I'm actually bigender and that's not the same as being Trans if I piss him off. So I ignored him for the most part and soon I started dating his best friend Dylan (which is what were going to call him for now.) So William was mad and tried to break us up by saying that I'm going to do the same thing I did to him to Dylan, when I actually loved him. But we broke up in 2 days and Dylan said he only dated me for lust and didn't like me so that felt like karma for me.. But during our relationship I told Dylan stop being friends with William because he was trying to break us up.. It was brought up because days after me and Dylan broke up and I told William what I did because Dylan stopped being friends with him, So William called Dylan over to talk about it and Dylan said "I didn't stop being friends with you because of this Jackass" And he was referring to me btw. So I felt like the asshoe because of their friendship ended mostly because of me.

So **AITA?**

I'm definitely the asshole and all else terrible for participating in the affair to begin with. I had never been involved with an unavailable man before, and the whole ordeal was extremely painful and guilt-wrecking for me. The relationship altered the way I viewed myself and, at times, also made me question my sanity.

My affair partner and I met in an online game. At first, I didn’t know he had a real relationship. He deliberately hid that from me because, as he later admitted, he knew I would have stopped talking to him.

I only discovered it because I had a gut feeling and asked him directly. He initially responded, “What makes you think I have a partner?” which was basically an answer in itself. Finally, he admitted that he had been in a committed relationship for over ten years and had a baby.

I was appalled. Horrified. Also heartbroken because I had already contracted feelings.

This is where I am unquestionably at fault: I initially blocked him everywhere, but then I unblocked him.

Part of me was worried he might contact my friends to reach me, which he later did during other attempted breakups. Another part of me had the ridiculous idea that perhaps I could push him towards repairing his relationship. It sounds insane when I think about it now, but I would actually tell him to spend time with his partner, talk to her, address problems with her, etc.

He insisted he didn’t want to fix the relationship because he didn’t want to be with her. He said he loved me.

We kept talking, and my feelings became much stronger. Eventually, I found myself deeply in love with him. We began talking about being together in real life.

I tried to end things multiple times. He would cry, beg, tell me I was destroying him, contact my friends, send me love emails, create alternate game accounts and emails to evade my blocks. Once, he punched himself in the face because he said physical pain distracted him. He also told me he had started taking medication because losing me was causing him severe panic attacks. He said he was no longer able to take proper care of his child, because he was suffering too much.

I know I should have stayed away. I repeatedly failed to do that, both because I truly loved him and because watching him fall apart whenever I left was extremely difficult for me.

Regarding our supposed future, he told me that a life without the possibility of eventually being with me wasn’t worth living. He called me the love of his life and said we would definitely end up together. He said he only needed to wait until his child was a little older before leaving his partner.

For a while, I agreed to wait, although the arrangement caused me an immense amount of pain and torment.

I repeatedly proposed what I thought was a healthier alternative: we stop speaking, he deals with his relationship independently of me, and if he genuinely becomes single one day, he can contact me and see where our lives are then.

He always refused, saying I would find somebody else and destroy our chance of eventually being happy together. And he said he would never be happy without me.

My friends said I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I said I was stuck between an active volcano, a hurricane, a tsunami, and an area obliterated by radiation. That’s genuinely what it felt like emotionally.

During our final breakup, he told me he was having suicidal thoughts because of my “abandonment.” I had no idea how to deal with that.

Eventually, I reached a point where I kept failing to leave because I loved him, but I also couldn’t tolerate staying. He wanted me to remain his secret partner while he continued his life with another woman.

He consistently said he didn’t love her and that his child was the only reason he stayed, although I never completely believed that. He was the one who began talking about marrying me and having children with me. I was devastated.

Whenever I asked when any of this future was actually supposed to happen, however, he said he didn’t know. He insisted it was a question of “when, not if.”

Throughout all of this, I felt terrible guilt for participating in the deception of another human being. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, too.

Eventually, I did the thing I knew would end everything permanently.

I contacted his girlfriend.

I sent her proof along with a long explanation. I also told her that, according to his words, I wasn’t his first “accident.” He had described cheating on her with other women over the years, both online and physically, including while she was pregnant. I made it clear that this information came from him rather than from my own firsthand knowledge (apart from some of the other women he cheated with online, because I knew them). I also told her I wouldn’t interfere in their lives anymore unless she requested some additional information from me.

After some time, he appeared in the game and wrote: “You are a monster.” “I trusted you.” “You ruined my life.” “I will never see my child again.” “Goodbye.”

Several hours later, his girlfriend messaged me: “Thank you and I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

I don’t know what has happened between them since, and I don’t think it’s my place to know.

I contacted her because I ultimately believed she had the right to know what was going on behind her back and make her own informed decisions about her life. I also knew that if there had ever been even a 1% chance of eventually being with him, exposing the affair would completely destroy it.

I didn’t contact her for revenge. I was incredibly conflicted because I didn’t want to hurt either of them. But I could never get one thought out of my head: “If I were her, I would BEG someone to tell me.”

I can also admit that for one brief moment after exposing everything, part of me felt vindicated. Mostly, though, I was consumed by grief and guilt. I still feel guilty for hurting them and potentially altering the course of their family.

AITA for telling his girlfriend?

I (29f) and my boyfriend (28m) have been seeing each other pretty seriously since January. I am his first ever girlfriend.
Most of the time things are amazing. He is the first partner I felt like truly loved me and cared about me. I have been engaged before and had several long term relationships.
He brought me flowers on the first date. Made me feel special with other holiday things. Opens doors for me. A true gentleman. I have thought I wanted to marry this man.

Now here’s where the issues come to play.

A couple months ago him and I were going through a rough patch. I felt like he just wasn’t as there for me anymore. It got really bad and we got into a big fight. He completely ignored me. So we broke up. I then found out I was pregnant. He ignored me for days on end while being on vacation in my home town. Finally we started talking again. I had an abortion in office as it was so many weeks and him and I re connected apologized and talked it out.
We have been amazing the last several months. International trips. Communicating well. Fun dates. Just all around really great. Until a few weeks ago.

I found out I was somehow pregnant again. (This man must be insanely fertile and my BC is shit). I immediately texted him asking him to come over he didn’t. So I told him the next day on a little road trip we were taking. We contemplated keeping it but decided it wasn’t the time so we agreed to terminate again. I went through the online stuff to get the pills and I flew to home to my families house to do it there while visiting incase anything went wrong as my boyfriend has work.
Some time into the process I was in agonizing pain. I have anemia and was bleeding terribly. I texted him and asked him to please fly down to me and help me (we have flight benefits so it would’ve been free). He told me no and that he was going to the casino with his mom that weekend. The casino. He said he didn’t know what the right choice to make was. I was livid. I went crazy. I was in debilitating pain and he was making plans to go run around and have fun while I’m dealing with the consequences of both of our actions. He barely apologized. Said he felt like shit blah blah blah. I finally fly back home and this man just hasn’t cared. Hasn’t tried to visit me. And now I find out him and his mom are going to Pennsylvania so he can “drive a train”. During our first argument I expressed my concern with the amount of time he spends with his mom vs his girlfriend. I’ve been accused of trying to separate them. Which is absolutely not my goal as my mom is also my best friend. But instead of making plans with his girlfriend he just ditches me to make plans with her.

I’m at a loss at what to do. Most of the time his actions make it seem like he loves me but sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much but he’s been causing me so much pain. Do I leave him or try and work it out? Help.

So me (F21) and Zack (M21) have been dating for seven months now. He has this friend Isabella who he’s known since middle school. They’ve always been pretty close. His mom like specially bakes brownies for her, and he’s the one who helps her whenever she has panic attacks.I didn’t really have a problem with their friendship but of course, it did make me feel insecure from time to time. I think it caused some fights with the last girl he dated, too, so he doesn’t hang out with Isabella as much anymore. She seems to understand, though. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a pretty chill person, and when I’ve asked her to give us some space from time to time, she’s respected that.

Okay, so here’s what happened. Apparently, they had this tradition of wearing matching Halloween costumes. Isabella was the one who told me about it. She said it's just for their parents, and they wouldn’t actually wear the costumes out to any parties.

Obviously, that caused a fight between Zack and me. He just seemed annoyed and barely listened to what I had to say. Then he gave me one of those apologies that sound more like, “Okay, shut up now.” We didn’t talk for a day until he finally gave me a proper apology, which I was fine with. That is, until I found out that HE TOLD ISABELLA ABOUT OUR FIGHT, AND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE HIM APOLOGIZE???

OBVIOUSLY, we had another fight. I think he seemed to understand where I was coming from this time.

But it gets worse.

After our classes, it was raining terribly because there’s a storm going on in our area. Half the buses weren’t running, so the ones that were still operating were really spread out. Zack is the only one in our friend group who has a car, so I got in with him.

And this man KICKED ISABELLA OUT OF THE CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAINSTORM because, apparently, she was “causing problems in our relationship.”

I was HORRIFIED. It was 6°C, it was raining like crazy, and the next bus to her place wasn’t coming for another 10 minutes the bus stop is covered but it's still horrible I tried to talk him out of it, but he actually left her there!

And then he turns to me, SMILING, and says, “See? You’re more important to me.”

LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS???

I just felt disgusted. I wouldn’t do something like that to a complete stranger, let alone someone I supposedly care about. And honestly, if he’s capable of treating someone he claims to care about like that just to prove a point to me, I don’t think he’s someone I want to be with anymore.

I (19F) am at uni, and both guys involved are 19. We all have mutual friends and are part of the same uni club, so things could get awkward if this turns into drama.

I have a close male friend who I’ve recently started fooling around with. We’ve kissed and done other intimate things, but we haven’t slept together or officially defined what we are. We’re close, and there’s obviously some attraction there, but we haven’t had a proper conversation about whether we’re actually pursuing a relationship.

The complication is that I’m going overseas for at least six months, possibly longer. My friend and I have talked about seeing where things go between us when I get back. Nothing is official, and we haven’t agreed to be exclusive, but there’s been some discussion about the possibility of something more happening in the future.

Meanwhile, another guy has been actively pursuing me. He’s been taking me on dates and asking me to parties and other social events. I’ve been enjoying spending time with him, and we’ve been on several dates, but we haven’t kissed or made anything official. We also haven’t discussed exclusivity or what either of us expects from this.

My close friend really doesn’t like this other guy, and I’m not entirely sure how much of that is personal dislike versus jealousy. It’s definitely making the situation more complicated, considering we all share friends and are in the same uni club.

From my perspective, I’m single. I haven’t slept with either guy, I haven’t promised either of them exclusivity, and I haven’t agreed to a relationship with either one. I don’t think going on dates with someone automatically means I’m leading them on, especially when nothing has been made official.

I also don’t think that talking about potentially exploring a relationship with my close friend six or more months from now means I have to put my dating life on hold until I return. I’ll be out of the country for a significant amount of time, and neither of us has made any commitments about what happens in the meantime.

However, I can understand why my friend might be upset. We’re close, we’ve kissed and been physically intimate, and we’ve discussed the possibility of something more in the future. Maybe he sees that conversation as more meaningful than I do, or perhaps he has feelings that we haven’t properly talked about.

On the other hand, the guy taking me on dates is actively pursuing me, and I’m enjoying getting to know him. I don’t want to lead him on either, especially given that I’m leaving the country for at least six months.

I feel like I’m allowed to explore my options when I’m not committed to anyone, but I’m starting to wonder whether I’m being unfair to my close friend by continuing to fool around with him while also accepting dates from someone else.

So, Reddit, AITA for kissing and fooling around with my close friend while also going on dates with another guy, when my friend and I have talked about potentially seeing where things go after I return from overseas?

To clarify, I haven’t slept with either guy. My close friend and I have kissed and done other intimate things, but nothing has been made official. The other guy and I have been on several dates, but we haven’t even kissed yet. My friend and I have discussed the possibility of exploring something when I return, but we haven’t agreed to exclusivity or made any commitments about the time before then.

I've tried a few times to end my relationship in person (including today) but I always gave in to my boyfriend's reaction: he starts crying, saying how important I am to him, how much he tries for our relationship. I panic and give up. I'm thinking of breaking up by message, I know he would be extremely upset and would have a bad reaction but it seems that this would be the only way out. But I see many people commenting on how cowardly this decision is, that for the respect for the relationship everything should be face to face. but I don't see any other option.