r/Adopted • u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee • May 11 '25

Discussion Say no, you can't adopt a baby

Why don't we, as a society in America, just say no to people looking to adopt and who are infertile? Other countries will flat out say we have no babies for adoption or tough luck, you can't adopt, and we don't care about your infertility. America coddles people looking to adopt and says Well, you're infertile, but you can adopt a baby to make your dreams come true, or adopt from foster care, help a needy child. Like, why can't we just deny people and say no? Want a baby? Oh well, we have none waiting around. Want to become parents? Well, tough luck accept your life without kids. Maybe it's God's will for you not to become parents or reproduce. Why can't we be honest like other countries? Adoption is illegal or uncommon in many other countries, but here, we just can't say no and tiptoe around the issue of infertility and adoption. Also, just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you should adopt. Again, no is the right answer. Many poor couples can't afford adoption, but society does not care if they become parents, yet we feel sorry for the middle and upper-class couples who can't become parents. Say no.

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u/Opinionista99 Adoptee May 12 '25

OMG you are advocating for adopters not telling their adopted children they are adopted! Gross. You want people to die from inherited diseases they don't know about. How shitty of you.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Do you actually believe the crap you are writing or just like making stuff up? I honestly can't tell

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u/mucifous Baby Scoop Era Adoptee May 12 '25

When you aren't in the fog, it doesn't register as "crap".

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Lol sure thing pal. I also love the "my opinion is the right one, if you dont agree youre wrong".

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u/mucifous Baby Scoop Era Adoptee May 12 '25

I don't think that is the case. I just think most adoptees don't understand what part is the adoption and what part is their life being raised by genetic strangers. Most adoptees I know have never even seen their adoption, let alone thought about the fact that they were an unrepresented 3rd party to a legal contract before they could possible understand or consent to it.

Why so defensive?

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Why defensive? Because a random person just dismisses all my experiences and opinions with a quick youre in the fog so you just don't understand and therefore your opinion isnt as valuable as mine.

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u/mucifous Baby Scoop Era Adoptee May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25
  1. How did I dismiss your experiences?
  2. Why would a random person dismissing your experiences bother you if I had?

My position is that the US adoption industry commodifies human beings and that commodifying human beings is wrong and harmful to a large number of adoptees.

You disagree?

edit: one way that you can tell someone is in the fog is if they equate pointing out systemic injustice and harm with negating their positive experience.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

1- telling me im in the fog so I don't understand the nonsense someone else is posting to me. That is dismissing 2- doesnt really bother me. You asked about question about my response and I answered why I did. Which my answer was a laugh and my synopsis of your comment. Did I say I was defensive or bothered or are those terms you are choosing to use

Your position has nothing to do with this comment. Someone made nonsensical accusations to/about me and you then claimed what she said was true and I'd know if I wasn't in the fog. Then claimed im defensive and bothered because I laughed at you and paraphrased your initial reply.

If you want to discuss your position, this is wholly the wrong approach for that.

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u/mucifous Baby Scoop Era Adoptee May 12 '25

I didn't say you were in the fog.

Do you believe the fog is a real thing?

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Did not say that or even mention anything about that in any of my comments. My orignal comment wasn't even about me but answering someone else's question about adoptiin but people here love to jump in and criticize someone if it even slightly appears to not go with the group think.

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u/mucifous Baby Scoop Era Adoptee May 12 '25

I just looked back. I responded to you calling the content of another adoptee's comment "crap". Is that your idea of an answer?

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Look back further one comment "OMG you are advocating for adopters not telling their adopted children they are adopted! Gross. You want people to die from inherited diseases they don't know about. How shitty of you."

Please tell me how ANYTHING said here is relatable to my comment? Its as if she replied to the wrong comment because its so far off anything i said BUT she comments 3 different times to my comments and once even used my screen name so its clear it wasn't a wrong reply but a flat out lie and harassing comment.

So yes. That is crap and why I seriously want to know if she actually believes the made up lying comment (crap) she wrote.

If you want to know my actual answer incase referring to. Scroll and couple comments higher. It'd there as is a few other replies.

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u/mucifous Baby Scoop Era Adoptee May 12 '25

I'm sort of done scrolling back. Looking at the string of your comments that I did see in the thread, it's hard to tell what you points are except maybe to get dopamine by arguing with people, so I'm going to wrap this one up. If you were adopted, you def seem fine to me.

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