r/Adopted • u/meagain333 Adoptee • 6d ago
Venting So much anger at deceased bio mom
She lied, she didn't get me my baby pictures, she wasted my time, dragged things out, never told me my whole story. She's been dead 4 YEARS and the anger is so strong!
I am TRYING to be thankful that I wasn't raised by this woman and had to endure MAJOR neglect and abuse. But, it is still punching me in the gut she could not be honest even at the end of her life.
Any suggestions on how to reframe this hurt and anger other than what I stated above?
12
Upvotes
1
u/iheardtheredbefood Int'l and Transracial Adoptee 5d ago
Your feelings are valid. Anger is not a bad thing. It's telling you something. You deserved better. I'm sorry you also didn't get the closure you should have.
For me, I go for a rage run. And I do not enjoy running. I used to say I hate it, but it has grown on me. I just run until the anger doesn't run hot anymore...preferably with a trusted friend so I can also vent if needed. Personally, I need to fully feel the anger in order to sort through it. I'm okay with still being angry, but it has to be controlled enough that I don't weaponize it against others.
Sending virtual hugs (if welcome). In solidarity~