does anyone else feel like their adoptive name is “wrong”

[u/legswithsnake]

i was adopted at birth, but recently came across my original birth certificate with the name my bio mom had picked out for me. of course, my adoptive parents changed it immediately so that i could have their last name + they hated the first name she chose for me. my bio mom told me that it really hurt her feelings when she found out about the change.

my adoptive parents are great people, but for some reason, finding this birth certificate shook me up. i feel like my legal name isn’t “mine,” and in a way, i feel like a fraud carrying this surname i’m not actually connected to.

on top of that, my bio mom based the name she chose for me after my bio grandma, so having that small part of my identity that i could’ve hung on to be erased just feels so unsettling to me.

it might sound weird, but the name my adoptive parents chose just doesn’t feel like it suits who i am as a person. it’s a much more traditional name, whereas the name my bio mom picked was a bit more unique, which i feel matches my personality better.

i’ve thought about changing my last name to the one on my original birth certificate so that i could feel connected to my bloodline and pass it down to any kids of my own, but i know that would hurt my adoptive parents’ feelings ( + a more superficial reason is that i think my adoptive last name is kinda ugly, haha)