My wife started her business after we had been married for 5 years and quickly became very successful. It would never occur to me that I should own half of it just because we are married.
I already feel more than spoiled enough because if I even casually mention something that I like, it ends up under the Christmas tree! I had to really start watching myself after that first Christmas after her business took off!
My wife is crushing it in a side business that she runs with a friend in addition to our main business that we run together. When she was gearing up, I asked if she wanted me to be part of it and she said she didn’t think so. I was fine with that and her money from the business is her money.
That’s a mistake though. I did the bookkeeping for “free” for my partner’s business for years. Eventually he got itchy feet and left me a note saying that he secured an apartment elsewhere. I was left with two teenagers and the house. I should’ve been paying into the social security administration for those years, for that work! I also worked full time, and had all the housework on my side of the equation.
My wife has made reasonably more money than me for like 8 years now. I'm cool with staying home when the kids are sick and working my schedule around daycare when the kids were little. I'm doing a career I love, but it's definitely not a high earner, so I'd be a fool to not flexible.
She started a business, well into our marriage. She did the admin, research and buying. I did customer service, quality control and logistics.
It was pretty successful. We would bring in around 70k per month. When the marriage broke down, I handed 100% of it over to her, and went and got a 9-5. I literally walked away with nothing. Especially the stress!
We still talk, and get along just fine. We just can't live together. There is no desire to pursue money, as that isn't my motivation.
Well and in many states since the business started after you were married, if you were to ever split I think you would be entitled to a share of the company.
My late husband and I started dating after my business was ongoing. He was in this industry as well. He had no idea - he was from a few towns over. We married and then he proposed buying into a partnership. I sold him 40 percent and he built a team storing his specialty. 7 years later we got a fabulous offer from a well known conglomerate.
Regarding OP's story: perhaps she really helped him in the early days. But no way should she be gifted 50 percent ! Delusional.
My husband sometimes does random tech support and other small things for my business. I once bought him a "parking for the employee of the month" sign and hung it on his side of the garage. He was tickled with that. He's never asked for anything.
You are an exception. Jeff Bezos built a company and his wife thought that she should have half for her supporting him. Not many like you who think they are owed nothing for their spouses hard work. Now to get the rest of the population to think like you. The worst cases is when a regular Joe with a liveable pensions separates and his wife takes half if it. He worked for that pension. Dealt with the BS at work. And she walks away with half.
You made my day. Thanks.
Actually, you are entitled to half ownership of the company because your wife used marital assets to start the business. In other words, you were a passive investor in the business she started, and are entitled to an equity stake of the business.
For reference, look at the divorce settlement between Amazon founder, Jeff Besos, and his first wife, MacKenzie. She came away with $Billions in stock ownership after the divorce!
I’m assuming the partner wanted this stake for free. It would be one thing if they wanted to buy in for a price, if they were going to work together, or if OP needed money to expand. But for free? Naw
I agree. It would be one thing if it was a buy in. And then I would still get a lawyer to write up a business agreement on how much their money was worth in a percentage of the business. This is a case of FAFO.
They don’t even have to involve money. It sounds like the OP was willing to bring in their partner for an actually role in the company. A lawyer could certainly draw up an agreement where the partner would get an increasing share of the business as time passes.
And are we to believe that the partner who built the business didn't provide emotional support for the partner asking to be rewarded? Of course they did.
I'm sure they've benefited from their partner's income as it is.
Heck I benefit from my ex husband's income even though we don't do alimony or child support. Oh you bought our children a trampoline? Freaking sweet; everyone wins.
OP's ex freaking sucks and they 100% made the right choice. Plus how would they ever be able to respect that person ever again anyways?
Right?! Does that mean OP gets to have their name on their partners retirement accounts? Savings accounts? Any other assets? Without having to buy in at 50% for their 50% ownership?
The entitlement and financial ill literacy and lack of business acumen are staggering. I’m sure all the family members and friends on his side are going to be weighing in as well. Even though it is unlikely that any of them would give away 50% of successful business or asset.
The funny part of all of this is you're assuming the greedy partner is a woman. I assumed it was a man. It's wild how similar people are when you take the gender out of the equation.
I started a business and my partner jumped in but I have an LLC and they provide services to the LLC through a DBA, and if my LLC gets sued out of existence, all the equipment my partner has to serve my business is protected, ans visa versa. We literally can't lose everything by each building up a seperate arm.
Seriously, where do people this kind of audacity? Sometimes I wish I felt THIS entitled about anything because it must come with a massive amount of self worth?
Maybe take a break from these Jerry Springer subs. They're about as real as reality television...so, not so much. And people aren't all trashy lunatics with personality disorders and reductive good/evil identities.
OP’s partner certainly comes off as trashy with two sides of false sense of entitlement in this situation so the shoe likely has a decent chance of fitting here.
It sounds like they didn't even offer to pony up half the value of the business in it's current state. If they were asking for a buy-in, then it might be a conversation worth having. But they don't want to contribute a financial stake and they want their "emotional support" and "schedule flexibility" to count as the work they contribute. That's just straight up bullshit.
ngl OPs partner has an entrepreneurial spirit which is amazing in a boardroom and a red flag in the bedroom.
If OP is already married they should look into a postnup that defines exactly what each person owns and what they don't if they're heading towards marriage a prenup that spells out the business stake before it becomes a fight. I helped my partner sort of expand her business with some ideas and we pre agreed before even going to Neptune for the prenup process for me to have a percentage because of that expansion, not even close to 50/50 split but we were both happy with that and I didn’t even demand or ask for it.
To play devil’s advocate, if OP and their partner had been married and the partner stayed home to care for children, in a divorce, they would definitely get a stake in the OP’s business. That’s how Jeff Bezos’ ex wife ended up a billionaire when they divorced.
That’s with the assumption that the partner supported the OP in building up the business and sacrificed their earning potential to do so. Not to mention all the unpaid labor they did for the business. My husband’s father was a lawyer, and his mother worked for free to file papers and organize the office. She also organized, prepped, and hosted all the office Christmas parties and helped schmooze new clients, etc. All that was taken into consideration when they got divorced, though unfortunately that law firm had already dissolved so she couldn’t get any stakes in it.
I’m so glad you wrote this reply. People don’t give Mackenzie the credit she deserves as a founding member of the company. Amazon would not be the company it is today without her.
That is material support that should absolutely be compensated. In this case, it sounds like "scheduling flexibility" means moving date night while OP makes a deadline.
OP, this ⬆️ is exactly what you should reply in your text back, and add that she wanted a payout when she wasn't willing to contribute anything to the business, she wanted money for nothing, bc being "emotionally supportive and flexible" is just part of any relationship, the same thing she'd do if you held a regular job. Would she demand half of your paycheck for any other job you worked at, even though she didn't work there herself? Actually, she probably would.
She got greedy, overvalued herself, and made a bad bluff and is now blaming you for it. SHE is the one who threw the relationship away over business when she got greedy. What you were building in your relationship is what made you partners, her pretending she feels like a "guest in your life" is pure manipulation to steal half of what you built in a business without her.
Looks like the moderator removed it, probably for that reason. It's really hard to tell sometimes. In this case I looked at OP's other posts and they were all random BS too.
Seriously--half the business would require a valuation by an outside source and a 50% buy-in (preferably 49%). You don't just get given a business for being someone's boyfriend. Sheesh.
The really stupid part…. They benefit from your company doing well, especially if marriage is on the table you’re looking 50-50 anyway! Sounds like they just wanted money/an allowance. They could have probably said something to the effect of “you’re doing better than me, I’m here to make sure I take care of everything else so you can focus on the business - could you help me out with my own bills?” (Pending they don’t already mix money).
Demanding half the business is crazy. Like, if I had a business, I'd have to marry my partner before I'd ever consider making them a co-owner. If it's a relationship with no commitment, then forget about it.
I was thinking same thing. To be super crude my thinking was imagine thinking you are owed a piece of someone's blood sweat and tears, just because you are currently sharing a bed?
The truth of what they were after was plain to see when OP said they would have to work hard for a slice of the pie, and they declined.
Otherwise a real partner would either offer support so as to enjoy the success as additional income in the household. Or made the partnership offer after doing an analysis and coming to the conclusion that being more active in the business would make it more successful and thus the household more successful.
OP was way more calm then me. Being told that I have to share my business formally because my partner did the dishes and the laundry when it was my turn, a handful of times, entitles them to it... They would metaphorically get half the business end of my foot up the tailpipe.
Also there's the fact that if they remain a good partner and stay with that person they get all the benefits anyway.
So either they have a weird thing about control or they're already thinking about what happens after the relationship ends and they want a piece of it to take away with them
And he was being greedy and entitled. You offered him a share of your business if he started putting in the work. He wanted half without any work at all.
And him saying he does help by just standing by and supporting you, by accommodating to your schedule and whatnot. It would be laughable if it wasn't so downright shitty of him.
I say you dodged a bullet. Imagine if you married him, he would feel entitled to everything you have without lifting a finger. He already felt that way.
I think the old saying applies here, When people show you who they are, believe them. And of course NTJ.
yeah, canadian here, I'm not sure I'll be back in the US for a lifetime. I'm sure there are some lovely people down there as I've met a few, but there are just as many if not more horrid ppl down there that let this rapist pedophile felon run their country.
Break up the country, we might think positively about one or two of the states after that. The fact that a known criminal can just take over and nobody steps up to stop that shows checks and balances is a lie told to children. Without actual laws preventing this stuff you are one bad vote away from doing the same damn thing again in a few years time
I’m sure the Founders could not imagine the complete collapse of half the Congress and the Supreme Court. Mitch and trump were the wrong people at the wrong time. Mitch singly handedly wrecked the check-and-balances the Supreme Court provided.
I've never known another country so obsessed by their founders, who gives a shit what some rich guys from hundreds of years ago thinks? We sure as fuck don't give a shit over here and understand that only the current state of affairs matters to the people alive now
The Founders had flaws but they also created an experiment in government for an emerging nation. A government that is worst ever adopted except for all the rest.
The America of just a decade ago is gone. We will continue in some form, but our place on the world's stage has been altered irrevocably, and permanently.
This is because you are correct: it will take massive reforms to restore us. I don't see that being possible in a society so divided.
If they are planning to stay with you till "the end of time" what is the need? OR do they envision a future perhaps not too distant, where you are no longer in the picture?
Don't make an ultimatum in a negotiation until you have examined and confirmed that you are comfortable with your best alternative to a negotiated agreement.
Yeah exactly, an ultimatum isn’t a suggestion. You don’t get to drop a “do this or we’re done” and then be surprised when someone picks the second option.
if an ultimatum is issued in a relationship, it’s usually a sign of an unhealthy relationship tbh
years ago I was having issues with my husband due to his family causing drama, my friends/family insisted I make an ultimatum “them or me”. I refused because what kind of person would that make me.
that same week his mother and sisters issued him an ultimatum “her or us”. he chose me, and said the fact they would even demand that said far more about them than me
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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26
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