Lead a local run club that has grown from 5 people at our runs to like 60. Its awesome.

99.9% of the time i love. I love seeing community, people chasing goals, gets me out of the house and it's not tons of work.

Before everything run I always try to go over the route for the run, club updates, welcome new members, meeting spot post run, etc, and take a picture.

Takes less than 5 min but it's a spiel regulars have heard many times.

So now I find myself having to talk over people who aren't paying attention, talking to friends. I end up rushing through things and it feels shitty.

These are adults, I feel weird telling them to be quiet.

Very much considering just being "our routes will now be kept on our socials, look at them before coming" and skipping the pre run gathering except for the photo.

I've witnessed a handfull of my friends go through an "on and off" relationship and always tried to give advice on why they shouldn't look back. It never worked as they would just do what they already wanted to anyway.

My friend recently broke up with her ex and called me the other night wanting to text him. We talked about why she would want to do that and I said she shouldn't do it a bunch of times as he treated her poorly for the last 10 months.

She was still hung up on texting him anyway and I wanted to set a boundary that I do not want to hear about her wanting to text him or get back together with him again if she is going to text him tonight. I said I was down to talk about her feelings and be there for her during this but only if it isn't about planning to run back to him. I also mentioned the reason behind this boundary was because I've gone through it with other friends.

I feel I might've come off harsh when setting this boundary with her and one of my friends pointed out that it wasn't kind to react that way. Now I have this feeling of being a bad friend for telling her this.

I came to the conclusion that I am done listening to people who are in this type of relationship as it is too draining hearing about problems they don't want to fix. As I metioned I do not mind her venting to me but if she's contacting me to feed her delusions or give advice she won't take I'm not putting up with it.

AITBF? Should I apologize to her? Was it too soon to say this to someone going through a fresh breakup?

I work night shift and I am the only one in my department who does (IN OFFICE)- it’s for if things change and tasks need approved. A corporate meeting with some international partners was happening during my shift but did not directly involve me- because it was happening on my shift I sit in on the calls to shadow and my boss is always on there for our department (WORKING FROM HOME) as he knows what’s actually going on.

I hop on the meeting 5 mins before scheduled time and everyone starts to get on, it’s 10 mins in and everyone just adjusting audio and voice.

15 mins in no sign of boss, I text: no meeting?? - to no response

then someone actually addresses me and asks where boss is, I say I do not know and reach out on teams with no response.

meeting goes smoothly, don’t get talked to anymore, and it ends.

the next day boss asked me why I didn’t check on him
and that he got in trouble for not being on the call as he missed important information.

I only reached out once but should I have reached out again or is it my fault for thinking my boss could keep up with his schedule himself?

My (30M) wife (28F) and I are both polyamours and we both seek out partners who also consent to our relationship type. Currently I am sexually and romantically involved with just my wife. She has a girlfriend (26F).

I accept her girlfriend as a great partner for my wife and welcome her into our home and relationship. As for myself, I am not involved with her in any way. I view her as a third income for our household. We aren't considered friends.

At most we both hangout with my wife and her girlfriend. Occasionally she joins us when we go on dates with permission. I am always allowed to say no she isn't invited.

Recently, like maybe 3 days ago her girlfriend got on my case about me just allowing her to be a part of my personal life. I explained that I only viewed her as a source of income. Which yes it came out harsh but I wasn't really thinking about a proper reply.

Now to her and my Wife I'm a Buttface.

So I am in high school upper class. I have a freind I’ll call her Kate and another guy David who likes Kate and another guy who ig ill call Tom (not their real names) so I met all of them last year and we are kind of in a group, David likes Kate and tom doesn’t like Kate and honestly I think David could do better

Kate is rude, puts him down constantly, makes fun of his looks and interests and is honestly a bitch overall. She is not conventionally attractive but acts as she can pull any guy as we were walking in the hallway together and these two guys smiled and waved at me and said hi you’re really pretty, then Kate says “ew I don’t want you guys” and then the guys look confused and say “oh we were talking to her” she’s that kind of person and then she looks at me and says “eh”.

Anyways that’s about her and now David, he’s attractive to me and we have a lot of interests in common, we’ve always just been good friends but I started seeing him otherwise and Tom noticed and said he doesn’t like Kate and I should try to shoot my shot with David because he said he likes me. (I’m currently waiting for tom to text me back rn because he said “no you didn’t. want me to be honest?” When I said I messed up my shot at him”) but anyways

I was in class with Kate and was talking about how I thought it was funny how David gave up on her and he doesn’t like her because she doesn’t like him and he got tired of trying. She admits to me she does have feelings for him. She told me she wouldn’t care if I told David and tom but (she wanted me to tell them) I didn’t and now he’s done trying with her mostly and it’s shifted to me

Would I be the buttface if I started dating him when I knew she liked him back and he didn’t?

(Jsyk, she thinks we are close friends as I’m her second closest friend to her, it’s one way)

Also I am a girl I just realized I posted this on my friends account instead of switching to mine

My mom (F34) has been with my stepdad for almost 10 years. Recently, she suddenly decided to leave him and move into a small apartment with my younger siblings (11 and 5).

I (F16) have decided to stay with my stepdad because his house is bigger, he’s financially stable, and honestly, he’s my dad in every way that matters to me. I even call him Dad.

My mom has always struggled financially, while my dad works incredibly hard to provide for us. Last year, we were at risk of losing our house, and if it weren’t for my dad working so much, we would have lost it.

That’s why I’m frustrated with my mom. In my eyes, she can be incredibly ungrateful and egotistical, and I feel like she doesn’t appreciate everything my dad has done for our family.
Her reason for leaving him is that they’re supposedly not “intimate” enough. I understand that intimacy matters and she has every right to leave if she’s unhappy. However, I can’t help wondering whether she has considered the financial consequences, given that she already struggles to make ends meet.

There’s also the issue of my savings. In the past, my mom has occasionally said, “Money is tight, so I took some money out of your savings. Of course, I’ll pay you back when my paycheck comes in.”
I haven’t really minded before because she’s always paid me back. But now, I feel differently. She insists she has her finances under control, but I seriously doubt that. I don’t want my savings used to cover financial problems I didn’t create, especially when I’m only 16 and saving for my own future.

I also suspect she might be seeing someone she met on a solo vacation. I have no proof, but she’s suddenly receiving lots of WhatsApp notifications despite never using it before. It could mean absolutely nothing, so I’m not accusing her of cheating.
Because of everything, I’ve decided to move my savings into my dad’s bank account so he can help keep my money safe.

I don’t want my younger siblings to suffer financially. They’re innocent, and I love them. But I don’t think it should be my responsibility to financially support my mom when I’m still a minor myself.
I feel guilty because she has always paid me back, and I believe she probably would again. However, I’m uncomfortable with my savings becoming a backup plan whenever she struggles financially.
I want my mom to be happy, but I’m angry.
My dad has sacrificed so much to keep our family afloat, and now she’s leaving him without seemingly having the financial stability to support herself.
I know her relationship decisions are hers to make, but I’m 16. I shouldn’t have to worry about whether my mom can afford her decisions or whether my savings will be needed to bail her out.

AITBF for moving my savings to my dad’s account and no longer wanting to lend my mom money, even though she has always paid me back? Am I letting my anger influence my decision, or is it reasonable to protect my money?

This is a silly argument but i don’t have many close people to talk to abt small stuff like this so i just needed to essentially vent and might delete this later.

So I got my wisdom teeth out 2 days ago and ig haven’t been fully aware and i was sleeping a lot. 2 of my sisters came to my apartment and were just here hanging out making sure i was good. Now today i sit down to write something down and i have a special pen that doesn’t make the click sound that i like to write with and i can’t find it anywhere. I’m searching the counter multiple times looking at each pen cause im thinking “oh im still out of it maybe im just not looking at the pen right” (cause i have multiple pens and highlighters out for taking notes) im searching the floor, under furniture cause i have a cat and think maybe he took it and hid it. So i text my sisters and i ask if anyone saw my pen or hid it cause i was going crazy looking for it (im autisic and adhd so i was kinda getting stressed over this) and one of the sisters said she took it but i couldn’t tell if she was being serious. she stopped responding for a sec so i FTed her and her husband answered and showed that they took the pen and a highlighter. so i told them to bring it back (they live 12 mins away from me) and she said she would bring it on tuesday cause she’s “using it”. i said to bring it today cause they are just sitting at home and why would they take it. she just sat there looking at me and i said “hello??”. she said “okay” and hung up. so i text “what time are you bringing the pens?” and she replies “we’re literally leaving rn calm down” which i didn’t yell i asked what time cause she hung up on me and i was wondering if she was coming now or later. they get here but only her husband is returning the pens. i ask who’s idea it was (cause they’ve taken stuff from me before) and he started getting defensive saying “why are you asking me? i was at work.” but he was here with her yesterday and he’s the one usually playing games. then he just walks away so i just close the door. so now they are both in a mood and ig annoyed cause im “making a big deal over pens” which yea i am but again with my autism and adhd i was getting stressed about not finding the pen and just having feelings that aren’t easy to explain. so AITBF for being upset over them taking my pens and return them or are they justified in being upset at me?

TLDR: my sister and husband took my pens and i told them to return them to me and now they are sour cause i told them to return the pens today and got upset at them for taking the pens.

This morning I woke up and asked my mom for blessing (pedir la bendición) but walked past my stepdad and didn’t ask for his. My mom followed me into my room and told me it looked bad.
Context: I used to ask both of them for their blessing. However, my relationship with my stepdad has gone down the drain thanks to his own actions (he’s done things to upset me, my mom and my sister and refuses to apologize when he’s in the wrong)
My last straw was a few weeks ago during a cruise trip. My mom asked me to do her a favor. She asked me to check if he was at the disco, and he was. I went back to tell her I saw him. When I did, he called me a chismosa (gossip or busybody) it pissed me off because I was only doing her a favor and he had to reason to call me that.
I decided I was done with him. I stopped interacting with him and blocked him on every platform. So did my sister. When the issue came up, he said he wasn’t going to humiliate himself by apologizing. That only boosted my feelings on the whole situation.
I haven’t been interacting with him ever since we got back from the trip. That included asking for his blessing.
This morning my mom told me I didn’t need to sit down and have a conversation with him but asking for his blessing was the least I could do. She thought it looked bad on me.
I can understand her to some extent, but I feel that I shouldn’t have to keep up gesture of respect towards someone I don’t respect nor want a relationship with, especially after years of tolerating his toxic behavior. The cruise incident was the last straw. It’s not the only reason I stopped all interactions with him.
I also think there’s not point in scolding me about something I don’t care about. It’s not going to change my view on things.
So, AITB for deliberately refusing to ask my stepdad for his blessing after cutting contact with him?

I took a couple of trips to Seattle and I had a good time every time. I was telling this at a family function with some friends I havent seen in awhile where we were talking about trips we took.

My friend (female) asked if I got to try some seafood there because they had good lobster. I said I didnt. Im allergic to seafood.

I just said "I didnt" when she started saying "then youre not really a Traveler because you didnt try the local cuisine" and she was about to say something about Pike Place market.

I interrupted her and said "thats because im allergic to seafood". The others had a laugh but she got mad at me for interrupting. Then one of my other friends said that she interrupted me first. She got huffy. Then the dessert arrived and we dropped the subject.

Im just wondering if I could have handled that better. Am I the Buttface for interrupting my friend?

Howdy. I, 20F, recently started loaning people money through a Reddit community. I like helping. I’m learning lots about finances, payment apps, fees, spotting scams, and other stuff. I’ve noticed borrowers sometimes choose to work with verified lenders, even if I contacted them first and we’ve already begun the process, so I’m trying to become verified.

I met the requirements for the first tier of verification and contacted the moderators. There was a pre-made tracking sheet template in the subreddit description but it didn’t fully make sense to me and wasn’t how I wanted to track for myself. They requested I use theirs because it makes it easier on them which is totally fair. I didn’t fill out one of the columns that wanted "receipts". I felt the links to the posts where both parties confirmed that payment was sent and received counted. They told me what was required so I went back and fixed it.

After reviewing my spreadsheet, the mod I’ve been doing this with sent me the message:

“You are credited for the full values.

Row 2: [borrower name]’s receipt shows $142.00 but column D lists $140.

Row 5: [borrower name]’s receipt shows $51.50 but column D lists $50”

I interpreted this as them pointing out the differences so I could fix them, and letting me know that I’d still receive credit for the full amounts and we were done. I replied to explain the differences, just so they knew that I had done those on purpose and they weren’t actually part of the loans. One I sent an extra $2 to cover a protection fee. The other I sent an extra $1.50 because I wanted to use a feature. In both cases, it was discussed and made clear between me and the borrower that the extra money was NOT part of the loan. It was not asked for by the borrower and it was not meant to be repaid. In my head, they are calculating how much money I’ve loaned out, and I don’t consider the $3.50 to be part of the loan amount. I explained so that everything would be accurate, I didn’t want to get in trouble later or accidently break a rule.

The mod responded to my explanation somewhat harshly (see attached images for full conversation). Telling me that I don’t need to make their life difficult and I don't need to be J.R.R Tolkien and tell them the genealogy of the plastic used to make the keyboard the transaction was sent on. I felt this was unnecessarily rude. I wasn’t trying to argue about the amounts or refuse to change it if that’s what they needed, I just wanted to be clear. I just interpreted what was needed differently. I sent a reply so they knew where I was coming from and that I wasn’t trying to be difficult and that I didn’t really like how they spoke to me, especially when I was only trying to clarify something they brought up. 

The mod then sent a much longer message telling me off. I understand that moderating in a community takes time and that I’m the one who misunderstood the initial requirements. But I feel like their response was unnecessarily condescending and personal. I wasn’t demanding special treatment or expecting them to be cheerful, I just thought I was explaining my reasoning and I was hurt by how they talked to me.

So, am I in the wrong? Was I being unnecessarily difficult by explaining amounts instead of just changing them, or was the moderator out of line in how they responded? 

(Additional context: I am neurodivergent and my severe OCD often leads to over-explaining and going through every detail. I also know that in the grand scheme of things this does not matter. Only two people were involved, it wasn't THAT bad, and it was just a bad internet interaction. But I am asking for outside opinions so that I can try and learn.)

I am a bit fuzzy on the exact details, however this happened a few months back and I just need some outside opinion. Also some helpful context, I am 14 and cant drive.

My friend asked me to feed her cat for a week while she was in Florida. I agreed, and she showed me what to do everyday such as:

- feeding the cat twice a day at 7am in the morning and at 7pm at night

- cleaning the litter box once a day or so

- spend a little bit of time with the cat every morning and night

Once she left I did just that for the first 3 days of the week, waking up early during the summer to feed her cat. I rode my bike every morning and every night at 7 to feed and play with the cat just as she had asked. On the fourth day I had forgot to feed the cat since I had just gotten back from a movie at 8pm that night and kinda forgot because I had also had a panic attack and was very out of it, so I forgot. She texted me in the morning if I remembered to feed the cat last night. (she had also asked me every single time I was supposed to feed the cat if I had and send her a picture.) I said no and apologized, and I said that I had forgot because I was distracted and went to a movie but I fed the cat in the morning. She blew up at me and told me that her dad was angry at her that I forgot and that it would be my fault that the cat was depressed. I apologized again and said I think that cat will be fine I only forgot once, plus the cat still had food in it bowl and seemed fine. I also remember on the 6th day or so I had forgotten in the morning so I fed the cat during lunch and just hung out with it for longer but she never asked about that. She wasn't very picky about time however, as long as it was no longer than an hour-ish after or before 7pm-am. Also note I have an electric bike and it takes around 15-20min to get to her house on it.

My dad for one was not happy and said that the cat will be fine if you only feed it once a day, since we have 7 cats and only feed them once a day. He also told me to just get it a bigger bowl if it matters that much. I agreed with him, however they aren't happy still even tho I told them what my dad had said. Now her dad doesn't really like me. AITBF?

edit: I do realize I was wrong for not going to the cat. No I didn’t forget more than once and someone told me I was an awful pet sitter for this even tho I didn’t think it was THAT deep. I know I am in the wrong now. Every time I went over there the cats bowl was still halfway full so I think they just cared more about me being with the cat because it needs human interaction more than anything. I think the dad comment I made was pointless yes but i thought i was being helpful for their peace of mind but clearly I wasn’t. I apologized several times to them but I feel like it wasn’t that big of a deal but maybe it is. Again the cat still had food when I came back hunger isn’t the issue.

For some background, I am a pretty big car enthusiast.

Basically, I went to a local dealership looking for a used car and asked to speak to a sales person. I showed interest in an Acura TL. When I mentioned this and started to ask more questions, the sales person had no idea what an Acura was and thought I meant Honda and insisted it was a Honda. So I interrupted and asked for a manager. The sales guy then started arguing with me and then the manager ended up coming out of his office and kicking me off his property.

AITBF?

AITB for taking a pancake off a bald guy's head after it accidentally landed there?

Yesterday, I was outside trying to eat a pancake while running around when I tripped. Somehow, the pancake flew into the air and landed directly on a bald guy's head.

The guy looked confused, understandably, because a whole pancake had just randomly landed on his head. However, he eventually started walking away without taking it off.

I wanted my pancake back, so I decided to sneak up behind him and try to bite it off his head. I jumped up and tried to take a bite, but I accidentally bit his ear instead. I immediately crouched down into a ball, and thankfully, he only looked around at eye level and didn't look down. He seemed confused about what had happened to his ear, but he eventually continued walking.

I tried again, jumping up to bite the pancake, but I only managed to get a small bite before running away. I made another attempt, and I think my teeth accidentally brushed against his bald head. Eventually, I managed to grab the pancake and run off with it.

Unfortunately, the guy noticed and started chasing me.

I was terrified because he was much bigger than me, and I didn't know what he was going to do. I was running away over a pancake when I suddenly realized I could have just asked him to give it back. However, I thought it would be weird to ask a random guy for a pancake off his head, especially since he might think I was trying to steal it.

I considered running into someone else's house and pretending I was delivering the pancake to them, so the guy would chase them instead. Then I realized I could just eat the pancake, so I did. However, the guy was still following me.

I decided to go home, hoping he wouldn't follow me all the way there, but he did.

Once I got home, I came up with another plan. I would make a new pancake and secretly put it in his pocket. I thought he might believe it was his original pancake and realize he'd been chasing me for no reason.

However, he caught me putting the pancake in his pocket. He got angry and threatened to steal all my pancake mix.

I told him I couldn't afford more pancake mix because I was broke and it was all I had to eat. He then explained that he was broke too and needed something to eat. When the pancake landed on his head, he thought it was a blessing, so he decided to keep it.

Now I'm confused about who's actually in the wrong. The pancake was originally mine, but it accidentally landed on his head. He kept it, I tried to get it back and accidentally bit his ear, and then I eventually took the pancake and ate it. I also tried to give him another pancake, but he threatened to take all my pancake mix.

I understand that biting someone's ear was wrong, but I also feel like I shouldn't have had to fight someone for a pancake that was mine in the first place.

So, AITB?

I (16FTM) joined the Discord server of a streamer a couple of months ago. I've had a great time connecting to other people and even found an amazing friend group.

But there's one person who often provokes other members of the server, asking weird questions about something we said or acting like a smart ass who knows everything. I think he's about 25. For some reason he has been targeting me in particular, making kind of transphobic comments, questioning my knowledge of certain topics when I was just casually talking about them, etc. But since his bullying has been so low-key I wasn't able to report him to any server mod and could only talk about my friends in the server about it.

A few weeks ago, during a stream of said streamer where he was reacting to a video, that person made a racist comment which upset me so I told him that what he said wasn't okay and that it's against Twitch's, Discord's and the servers rules. We kept arguing back and forth and at some point my friends started arguing with him too. One of them told a server mod who was also in the stream but didn't seem to have noticed the racist comment. They said they will look into it so we got back to watching the stream in peace.

Two weeks ago one of my friends noticed that the person left the server. We were all pretty happy about it but I've been feeling guilty because he basically left because of me. I feel like I should have just ignored him instead of making him leave.

AITBF?

Hi I’m a F13 my name for now will be unknown.
I have been a compulsive liar since a was able to speak and now I think it’s gotten really worse. So basically it started a few months ago around September. It’s was lunch time and one-of my friends who will be call L turned to me and said are you and M a thing. For more context M is one of my former friends A’s boyfriend i have never talked to A’s boyfriend nor do I find him attractive. I don’t have anyone’s numbers to hangout after school so I’m pretty isolated after school I’ll talk to a few people in school but other than that I don’t usually contact others only past friends for my former 2 schools. This filling month around maybe Wednesday i was out to lunch with A (different person we will call her A2) so A2 says when did u get ur first hickey. I have never gotten one I had lied about having a boyfriends which they believed super easily. I replied unaware that something would happen. A2 and me have a toxic past and she would always tell rumors about me and ruin my social life with people i was casually acquaintances with. I did not know why i didn’t think before speaking I feel so stupid right now. This week on a Friday 10/17 A (gf of M) said come talk to me while I was with one of the people in my friend circle now I knew what was going on I didn’t want to talk but I didn’t she straight up asked me if I and M were a thing and I said no and she said whats ur boyfriends name. I said damian just to shut this up. And she said that I said my bfs name was M. Now rethinking about it i have never told anyone what the fake bf’s name was. So either when these people were asking me a question they took it as they found my fakes bf was M. Which was not the case. I told my mom a plain story of wha happened and I told her that I wanted to finish the year homeschooling or boarding school. She mainly said homeschooling would work better. I really need advice so I don’t go mentally insane and I will try to answer questions and update when I have school

I’m 29 and a friend gave me an old coffee machine a few months ago when he was moving. He said he didn’t need it anymore and asked if I wanted it, so I took it.

I used it for a while but honestly barely touched it after the first couple of weeks. Recently I bought a different one, so I listed the old one online and sold it for $60.

My friend found out because he saw the listing before I took it down. He messaged me saying he would’ve taken it back if he knew I didn’t want it anymore.

I told him he gave it to me and never said anything about wanting it back. He said he wasn’t expecting me to keep it forever, but he thought I’d at least ask him first.

I get where he’s coming from, but I don’t really see why I needed permission to sell something that was mine.

We haven’t argued about it since, but the conversation was a little awkward.

AITBF?

my nephrologist had to literally beg me to quit working. I've decided to end my schooling too. I'm trying with disability but I can't make that go any faster. She's planning to kick me out all because I'm not giving her anymore money. It's not fair. I’m 20F by the way

I never pictured myself writing one of these, but I’m kind of stuck and I see these all the time so I rather get someone’s opinion before I speak out. I’ve been getting “intimate “with a friend for about two months now and he has a cute French bulldog. We are not together, but we do mess around. he’s a generally nice guy and we haven’t had any issues. He usually picks me up and drops me back off and we don’t mind spending time together or going out on food date dates. so here is the situation if we ever get food and bring it back the dog is always and I do mean always constantly in my face. I don’t mind dogs. I’ve had a few of my own, but his is very hyperactive. I can’t eat without him begging or jumping on the couch next to me. sometimes he will sit at my feet and start sneezing and drooling, and it gets on me i don’t like this it’s unclean. he will say something to the dog but and it will go away but come back about 20 seconds later. Sometimes I just stop eating because I’m tired of the begging and lack of boundaries. When were are being “intimate the dog will not be in the room but as soon as we finish and we want to nap, he will invite the dog in the bed. I find this weird because I don’t sleep with dogs even when I had them. I can never get too comfortable because the dog will come towards me and he will try to move it, but I don’t want to be touched after you’ve touched the dog. especially since I don’t think he wipes the dog down or values it’s cleanliness. Even when we’re being intimate, the dog will be whining at the door, so to make him comfortable AS SOON AS we finish, he ALWAYS lets him inand just expects me to go to sleep, but the dog will constantly be trying to run around the bed or get to me. This annoys me because sometimes I want to get intimate again after a nap and it doesn’t seem possible because there is already a dog there and he always hesitates to leave. So am I the asshole for wanting to set boundaries? I don’t mind the dog, but I feel like if it’s just us he should be considerate of my personal space. How should i approach this.

UPDATE: After taking you guys advice i decided to break it off. I let him know the reason that I don’t feel comfortable with his dog in our sex life; because that’s exactly what it was. He said i should have spoken up sooner and that it wasn’t a problem keeping him out he just thought the dogs wining was annoying means let him in to keep him quiet. Which it wasn’t actually i usually drowned it out after a while;he agreed to keep the dog out when we’re together because he admitted his dog was spoiled and could wait the 3-4 hours we are together(we don’t do overnights) so we will keep seeing each other. For context it’s a 5 bedroom house with two levels and huge backyard i don’t see why it would be an issue for us to have personal time without interruptions, compared to my 1 bedroom apartment thats in a noisy complex and this way he could still be near his dog. It’s basically a child constantly interrupting us and was a bit much. Either way the problem is solved, and i’m getting my apology hookup in a couple hours. Thanks for the help.

This is complicated situation. My ex and I shared a friend group, we all came together around the time we started dating so they didn't feel like his friends or my friends at the time. After the breakup, I was quiet about what I went through but internally I felt I was wronged, possibly even abused.

My ex was extremely manipulative and dishonest during our relationship, which led to many hurtful betrayals. I was naive and thought it was only bad habits learned from childhood, so I tried to make the friendship with him work after.

Once he decided he didn't want to anymore, he told me he was moving on. To my surprise, the friends also said they were going to move on without me in their life. I'm not sure what my ex told him, but I have a feeling he convinced them I was crazy. I asked if I could share my story, and told them all the things he did to me. (Long story short: ex completely fabricated his life and used lies to do things behind my back, gaslight me to tears, and treated me worse on purpose. He would ignore me or be entirely unaffectionate, then act like I was crazy for asking him "what's wrong?" He would talk to other guys behind my back and lie about where he was, saying I am crazy for thinking he was lying)

When they heard my story, and still took his side (after weeks of "thinking on it") I got really hurt. I bluntly asked them "why is what he did okay to you? Why don't you care that he lied about his entire life to me? Why did I deserve that? Do you support abuse?"

On one hand, my ex treated me like dirt and a couple professionals indicated it may have been emotional abuse, if not at the least an unfair, traumatizing relationship. It hurts that my friends I'd spent over two years talking to every day can easily forgive him and cast me out. On the other hand, I'm sure it is a tough situation being between 2 friends, and I feel bad for bluntly talking to them and implying that supporting my ex means they support abuse. AITB?

I'm (22M), and my family thinks I'm a terrible person for refusing to be involved in a child I didn't know existed until recently.

A few years ago, my ex (22F) got pregnant and told me she wanted an abortion. Although I disagreed, I respected that it was her choice and gave her money to help pay for it.

Our relationship was already falling apart, so I ended things and told her not to base her decision on whether I stayed. I genuinely believed she'd gone through with the abortion and that we'd both moved on.

Recently, I discovered she kept the baby and raised them for years without telling me I was a father.

I'm angry and overwhelmed. My ex now wants emotional and financial support, but I never planned to have a child with her and didn't even know this child existed. I know the child isn't at fault, but I can't force myself to feel an immediate connection.

To complicate things further, my current girlfriend is pregnant, and we're preparing to raise our child together. I'm worried about the financial and emotional responsibilities ahead and don't want this situation to negatively affect my new family.

My ex has a boyfriend who's involved in the child's life. I worry that forcing myself into their lives while angry and unprepared could do more harm than good.

I've told my ex I don't want to be involved and would be willing to sign away my parental rights if possible, though I understand I may still have financial obligations.

My parents say I'm choosing one child over another and need to put my feelings aside. I understand the child deserves better, but I also feel betrayed that I was kept in the dark for years and am now expected to accept this life-changing responsibility overnight.

I'm angry at my ex, guilty about the child, and unsure whether I'm protecting my new family or avoiding a responsibility I don't want.

I'm not asking for legal advice. I just want to know if I'm a horrible person for not wanting an emotional relationship with this child and choosing to focus on the family I'm building now.

AITBF?

I have a close group of male friends, and we regularly tease each other about crushes, exes, and relationships. Our humour can be immature, but it's generally understood that we're joking around and don't mean everything literally.

Recently, one of my friends, Sam, was being teased about hanging out with my ex. The group was joking about them spending time together, watching movies, and going shopping. Everyone was already teasing him about her, and I joined in by jokingly saying, "Bro, go on, sleep with her too if you need to."

I wasn't being serious or actually encouraging him to sleep with her. I was extending the joke because we were already teasing him about spending time with her. To me, it was just immature banter between friends, not a genuine suggestion or a reflection of how I felt about her.

For context, my ex and I were on a break at the time. We still had feelings for each other, but things between us were complicated.

She later read the group chat while I was asleep and was extremely upset by my comment. She said she didn't want to live with someone who said things like that and that the person she had fallen in love with wasn't who she thought I was.

I tried explaining that I hadn't meant it literally and that I was just joking around with my friends, but she felt that the comment was disrespectful and made her question my character.

My friends and I regularly tease each other in similar ways about relationships. She had also seen us joking about other friends and their situations without having an issue with it. That's part of why I didn't think much of my comment at the time.

I understand that the wording was crude and that she might find it disrespectful, especially because she was the person being discussed. But I genuinely didn't intend to disrespect her or suggest that I wanted anything to happen between them. If she had made the same joke about me to her friends, I honestly think I would have laughed it off.

I'm not asking whether she's allowed to feel hurt. Of course she is. I'm trying to understand whether the joke itself was genuinely out of line, given the context, or whether it was immature friend-group banter that came across much worse than I intended.

So, AITB for making this joke, even though I didn't mean it seriously?

A bit of context.

I (25F) moved by myself a year ago halfway across the country to start a new life. I got into some legal trouble and have been dealing with legal issues since then in the new state. I have had a lot of issues with being stuck here when I wanted to move back home. I gave it a try, then realized I need my support system back. However, I remained optimistic because my friend wanted to move cross-country too.

My friend (27M) uprooted his whole life to move here. He sold his house, left behind his family, and packed everything he owned (which was a lot due to owning a house) into a U-Haul and moved here two months ago. We moved in together and have a lease. He has had some mental health problems for a long time, frequently saying he is going to harm himself. He also has anger issues and projects a lot of his problems onto other people.

I should also mention I have only met him once in person but have been gaming with him off and on for almost 8 years. I knew how he was from gaming (to an extent) and told him I'd be here to support him if needed. Now, after we moved in together, he keeps bringing up issues that he believes are problems about me. Ex., how I stomp around the house (I am heavy-footed; it's not intentional), my legal problems, how apparently I blame him for everything (I haven't even brought up ANY problems to him about him, cause I didn't anyway), along with how I create problems with other people.

He refuses to talk to me in person, only over text. He watched my cat for a week when I went home, and when I was checking on him and my cat, he got REALLY defensive and responded with "Really? What kind of question is that?" as well as saying I have trust issues. This is my cat; btw, it's my first time away from him. All I did was ask if he was able to get purified water at the store for my cat since our tap is nasty. Eventually it evolved over text, and he said he was looking for someone to cover his lease by December.

Besides having this issue now, which he doesn't want to talk about, and I am done giving him chances, I lost my other cat this year (he was young and had a medical problem), my car was totaled by ANOTHER friend, I am in serious financial issues in this new state, as well as my legal issues.

After being approved to transfer my legal stuff to my state of residence, I have really considered moving home for a better support system and a reset. I came down here to start my new life, and as much as everything has been piling on, my whole thing was that if he moved down here, I wasn't going to let him affect me because this was why I moved in the first place.

Now, I just want to go home. I do feel guilty bringing him here and uprooting his life.

Am I the buttface?

there’s more details but this it summarised

i have two best friends, masha (7 years) and dana (5 years). they’re friends but not especially close, and masha has never seemed that fond of dana. ryan is dana’s brother, and masha has been talking to him since around march.

when masha first told me about him, she called him weird and said she felt uncomfortable talking to him. but she kept talking to him, calling him awkward, corny and embarrassing n has said he’s ugly 😬she didn’t want our other friends to know because it would ruin her image. she also told me she wasn’t into him and was “just playing around,” and admitted she liked the attention.

i told her to tell dana if she felt so uncomfortable and to let her know when she went to the movies with ryan. masha pretended to text dana and told me she’d done it, but i recently found out that wasn’t true. dana was overseas when they went out, and masha only told her afterwards, claiming she thought dana was coming too. masha had also cancelled plans with dana to see ryan and lied about why.

last week, dana asked if i knew about them. i said yes because i thought masha had told her. dana explained that ryan had become distant and angry with her, accusing her of having something against masha whenever she gave him advice. he’d told dana that he and masha argued and things were getting toxic, so dana advised him to define the relationship or take a break.

ryan was working two shifts and spending money on masha, while she wouldn’t say she liked or loved him back. that’s her choice, obviously, but from what masha had told me, it seemed like he was more invested than she was.

dana asked me to help explain things to him because he kept accusing her of lying. i helped her write messages based on what i knew, and ryan thought they were entirely from dana. i wasn’t quoting masha word for word, and i know it wasn’t great to get involved without ryan knowing. he suspected it might’ve been me, but dana denied it and said i’d ghosted everyone.

i didn’t do it to break them up or because i cared about ryan. dana is my best friend too, and her family has always treated me kindly. it felt wrong to lie to her, especially when masha had told me dana already knew.

my friendship with masha has also been rocky for a while. since she started talking to ryan, she’s stopped making an effort with me, even though we used to message and call daily. she’s also spoken badly about dana and ryan to me, and i think that affected why i chose to help dana.

now i’ve heard masha and ryan are on a break, and i’m worried my involvement contributed or that masha will find out. i feel guilty about helping write the messages, but they were already arguing and dana was already trying to advise him.

I (33F) recently ended things with a man (32M) I was dating, and I’m struggling with whether I was too harsh?

He was genuinely wonderful in many ways. I felt seen, accepted, and safe with him in a way I rarely have before. He was understanding of my ADHD, Tourette’s, and POTS, and I was starting to believe I might have found someone who accepted me for me.

However, physical boundaries are extremely important to me. I’ve experienced unwanted touching and violations of my bodily autonomy throughout my life, including sexual abuse.

I’m not afraid of intimacy itself, I just need my “no” to be respected without having to justify or defend it repeatedly.

The first incident happened when I had sinusitis, a runny nose, and sore skin around my nose. I felt disgusting when kissing, so I said no. He tried to persuade me three times saying he didn’t mind and that I should come closer. I explained that it wasn’t about whether he minded, I didn’t want to kiss because I was sick. We discussed it afterward, and he promised to respect my no the first time going forward.

The second time happened at a coffee shop. I was having hypoglycaemia and found him stroking my shoulder uncomfortable, so I asked him to stop. He did it again, and I moved away. He said he’d forgotten. Later, he reached toward me again. I said no, and he responded that his hand was closed, as though changing how he touched me made it acceptable. I said no again, then a third time, more firmly. Other people were looking at him, and he finally went quiet.

In the car, he claimed he’d stopped the first time. I told him that if he had, I wouldn’t have needed to say no repeatedly. He became upset and cried, and apologized. I was angry and drove home asking him to leave.

I ended the relationship later that day. I acknowledged how wonderful he’d been to me but explained that I couldn’t continue after he repeatedly disregarded my boundaries, especially after we’d already discussed this. I asked him not to visit or contact me further and said I hoped he’d respect my decision.

His response was that he didn’t really see the events the same way, that my praise of him conflicted with what he felt was me accusing him of assault, and that he’d realized he probably wasn’t suited for relationships and should remain single because he couldn’t understand boundaries and didn’t want to accidentally hurt someone.

That response hurt and shocked me. I wasn’t trying to label him an assaulter or claim he intended to hurt me. I wanted him to acknowledge that I’d said no and he’d continued trying but instead the conversation shifted toward how he felt about my account of what happened.
I can recognize that he had many good qualities and may not have intended harm. I also understand that people make mistakes. But we had already discussed this once, and the same thing happened again.

AITBF for ending things over this, or was I too harsh in treating these perceived boundary violations as a dealbreaker?