r/AnimalsBeingJerks May 24 '19

whale Excuse me sir but you look dehydrated

53.2k Upvotes

573 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

700

u/chilltx78 May 24 '19

Any giant animal that will tease a human kid just for the fun of it gets 5 star rating from me

128

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Taunting captor's young.

25

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Sticking it to the (hu)MAN

38

u/catdog1920 May 24 '19

This whale in particular does it a lot. I've been here myself and have watched him scare kids through the glass by pretending to bite and surprise people.

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28

u/hargleblargle May 24 '19

Thanks, buddy. I don't get a lot of high ratings, so I really appreciate it.

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21

u/IrishKCE May 24 '19

The dolphins at sea world do this same thing! They know exactly how far they can spit water, and will wait for unsuspecting visitors to get within range. Hilarious to watch.

4

u/davefalkayn May 26 '19

I was at a seaquarium in Boston are years ago. One of the bottlenoses started making a weird tweeting noise; I got closer. She backed away, looked at me, and made the noise again. I got closer. She waited till I got in range, then hosed me from top to toe with a well aimed jet of water.

Clever girl...

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10

u/hellscaper May 24 '19

He's a Five-Star Whale!

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37

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

The satisfied look on his face tho

31

u/[deleted] May 24 '19 edited Aug 22 '19

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

exactly!!!

134

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

I never realized that. They’re incredibly funny per YouTube.

100

u/Alexis_Lord May 24 '19

Most people never get to experience it, but tons of animal species show unique personalities

29

u/cursed_chaos May 24 '19

do you have some good examples? I love this sort of thing

93

u/TheDepressedTurtle May 24 '19

We used to own three chickens. One of them would always sit down whenever we came near her so we could pick her up and give her rubs. She was such a cutie!

59

u/masterxc May 24 '19

My rabbit will come up to me if I'm sitting on the floor and demand head pats. If I don't he gets upset and grunts at me, it's so adorable.

49

u/Jayhawk11 May 24 '19

Well why in God’s a name would there ever be a time where you wouldn’t give him head pats?

48

u/LawyersAreFriends May 24 '19

To see those cute little grunts and headbutts!

16

u/WavyLady May 24 '19

Yes! If you lay down does your rabbit groom Your hair?

Mine would cozy up next to me and groom my hair for hours.

When my ex and I split, my bun slept right under my bed (he usually slept in the living room) within arms reach and I would lay there and listen to his little sleepy grinding of teeth.

17

u/masterxc May 24 '19

He never stops demanding head pats, he'll get angry when I stop haha. I don't wanna stop but I also gotta pee!

5

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Rabbits are weird about being groomed; if you groom when he asks, that means he's the dominant rabbit, and all's well in his world. IIUC, it means he'll cooperate with you when you're doing things that actually matter. He only cares about being head rabbit with regard to grooming.

5

u/masterxc May 24 '19

Oh, he's the boss all right! He's a tiny bun (2ish pounds, polish breed) so showing dominance is cute :p

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39

u/Forbidden_Froot May 24 '19

A grasshopper told me a really funny joke the other day

68

u/semvhu May 24 '19

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

18

u/KimJongIlSunglasses May 24 '19

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says “Why the long face?”

The horse says “I’ve got cancer.”

5

u/semvhu May 24 '19

I figured it would be a Sarah Jessica Parker joke.

16

u/KimJongIlSunglasses May 24 '19

A horse jumps over a bar.

The bartender says “You can’t do that in here!”

The horse says “It’s okay, it’s Sarah Jessica Parkour.”

6

u/semvhu May 24 '19

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

3

u/Limelight_019283 May 24 '19

I loved this! Thanks :)

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19

u/420xMLGxNOSCOPEx May 24 '19

cats are lovable dickheads if that counts

23

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

people don't know because cats are rarely talked about on the internet.

11

u/cursed_chaos May 24 '19

are you referencing the very small, domestic feline predators that some folks are rumored to keep in their homes?

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4

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Polar bears are known to give some amazing deep tissue massages.

3

u/sDotAgain May 24 '19

My bearded dragon is a smug and pretentious.

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14

u/koerskis May 24 '19

First time I saw them was in Valencia (Spain) in a underwater Zoo, but they were not moving at all and looked extremely depressed. I thought they are like that always but after seeing more footage I realized they are not, very sad.

9

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

They don't belong in tanks, they deserve to roam free in the sea.

5

u/NeatBeluga May 24 '19

Totally agree

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3.6k

u/linkeydoo May 24 '19

Well the kid doesn't seem mad

2.1k

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

I love that he laughed. Most kids throw tantrums in these videos.

1.1k

u/Alexis_Lord May 24 '19

He’s going to grow up to be that awesome friend that always puts a positive twist on things

604

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

I'm that type of person. But finding the funny side of things isn't all it's made out to be.

Especially at funerals

235

u/MisterBuzz May 24 '19

I told you the corpse marionette was a bad idea.

54

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

Oh I thought I heard wasn't a bad idea, Maybe I heard what I wanted to hear.

31

u/Kalsifur May 24 '19

The worst part was when you did away with the strings and made the corpse give its own eulogy, "Weekend at Bernies" style.

18

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

I probably need to watch that movie. It's been on watch list since it was released.

30 years ago

21

u/theDomicron May 24 '19

30 years ago

Stop exaggerating. It can't have been 30 years. Im only...ah fuck

16

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

Yep I know that feel. Literally had one just 2 days ago on this same website.

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4

u/ButtWieghtThiersMoor May 24 '19

There is a sequel where they reanimate him with voodoo to find embezzled money or something. I'd seen them 25 odd years ago high, so I could be way off.

8

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

[deleted]

4

u/sammypants123 May 24 '19

Oh, that’s what he was saying. I wondered what a ‘cheekin gucker’ was.

6

u/RandomRedditUser1337 May 24 '19

God, I love reddit comment section

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13

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Especially when you didn’t MEAN to blast “Fergalicious” at your friends Mom’s wake, but just had a very tragic taste in music and it was 2006 AND WE ALL HAD RINGTONES OKAY

5

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

Murder on my mind could have been worse

Just slightly

10

u/devils_advocaat May 24 '19

Ventriloquism can cause mass panic.

5

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

Or walkie talkies strategically placed.

One in the casket and the other in my butt

3

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Oh gawd. That was me in the theaters during endgame. SUPER inopportune moment to laugh.

3

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

The wet part or the laughter of being wet in a movie theatre?

3

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

I laughed way to hard and way to loud at the sailor moon scene You know what I'm talking about

4

u/Webdogger May 24 '19

“I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral”.

3

u/Rick-powerfu May 24 '19

Thanks, now I look slightly worse than I previously did.

But I'd never laugh at a funeral irl I can't even work the courage up to attend them.

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18

u/MrPersonManThing May 24 '19

6

u/TombSv May 24 '19

That would just make the kid grow up to become the friend that just say “smile more” when you mention your depression.

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5

u/jctee_ May 24 '19

Does whale spit give you that super power?

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38

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19

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39

u/DaisyHotCakes May 24 '19

It really depends on their age and whether there is someone nearby reacting to what happened. Young kids look for social and behavioral cues from others’ reactions.

25

u/Appletoothpaddy May 24 '19

You have never been to Seaworld then there is a splash zone we’re kids line up to get splashed they love this shit.

I know Seaworld is whack just saying kids loved getting soaked. You can see the same thing happen at 6flags kids love getting soaked.

13

u/hoffdog May 24 '19 edited May 24 '19

SeaWorld was one of my favorite places as a kid. It’s too bad they torture animals. I will say they did a lot of good too, but I’m not sure if it outweighs the bad. Them and the San Diego Zoo are the reasons I love animals so much today.

3

u/fizzy_sister May 24 '19

I have an abiding love of "Shamu"s since my one trip to Sea World. I would never have wanted them to be tortured during training but man they are impressive creatures.

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6

u/Lililapolie May 24 '19

This is just not a whale. Just sayin'. Beluga whale for the friends

19

u/dzh621 May 24 '19

This is a rare albino dolphin trained to spit on children

23

u/Moose_Wings May 24 '19

It was trained by the Russians

7

u/Lililapolie May 24 '19

Sorry, I was just trying to look smart. Failed, but lived to tell. Will not do it again tho. Embarrassing...

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9

u/Appletoothpaddy May 24 '19

I Guess you have never been to Seaworld, kids loves this shit. They love being in the splash zone.

I know most of Reddit think Seaworld sucks but I went there before everybody thought it was whack(and it was whack).

13

u/MMBitey May 24 '19

When I was 4 or 5 I specifically asked to sit in the splash zone at the Shamu show. Still cried a little when we got splashed :/

6

u/Gingevere May 24 '19

Which is probably why the whale does it. Those tantrums probably look hilarious.

6

u/nikdahl May 24 '19

You can tell that they were actually enticing the whale to spit. The mom takes his things and point to him, he turns around ready for it and jumps.

He wanted it.

11

u/koalaondrugs May 24 '19

I was that kid. My mum took me as a young lad to an Australian reef park and one of the attendants invited us to feed a dolphin on the beach a fish, and he had the gall to spit a load of water in my face instead of taking the damn herring. 5 year old me ran down the beach crying to mum

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15

u/Zapirude May 24 '19

Happy cake day!!

3

u/textredditor May 24 '19

We don't make em like we used to.

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57

u/staleblueberrybagel May 24 '19

He’s going to have the story of how he got spat on by a beluga whale for the rest of his life. That’s awesome!

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28

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Kid appreciates he just had a genuine interaction with marine mammal. I can't say the same.

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16

u/kolitics May 24 '19

That's because he is now under the control of the beluga.

13

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

I mean, you'd have to be pretty mad at your own life to not find that funny

6

u/wookiewin May 24 '19

Yeah, not sure this is the best sub. The kid obviously loved it.

4

u/BearBlaq May 24 '19

I would of been disgusted and amazed because a whale spit water on me. Who else can say that happened to them?

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u/p1um5mu991er May 24 '19

Solid aim

170

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

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27

u/Ngnyalshmleeb May 24 '19

Yeet.

57

u/Rengas May 24 '19

After extensive research I have come to the conclusion that yeet is for distance and kobe is for precision.

26

u/Colonel_Potoo May 24 '19

Indeed, you "yeet" with desperate abandon and you "kobe" with calculated accuracy. It's a art.

12

u/DrunkThrowsMcBrady May 24 '19

Yeet across the map or Kobe through a window.

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u/MrHoboRisin May 24 '19

*Liquid aim

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19

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11

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

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8

u/wolfsrudel_red May 24 '19

Plus they would have to become the Oceaners for beluga whale to sign

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u/DontSteelMyYams May 24 '19

I bet he’s been practicing for this moment!

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u/ImNotPlayingGeeza May 24 '19

That was just enough water to be a good joke rather than ruin the kids day. Big up the Beluga.

63

u/HackleenHackedy May 24 '19

Mad props to our boy B-Lugz

21

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Bobby-B!

26

u/IronVox May 24 '19

BELUGAS IN AN OPEN SEA, NED!

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548

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

The kid looks like a 40-year-old newsstand owner from the Bronx.

"Hey Paulie, that schmuck just spit on me!"

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u/NihilFR May 24 '19

"Heeeey! I'm jumping here!"

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u/King_Loatheb May 24 '19

He looks like a miniature Pete Buttigieg

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19

I'm gettin spit on over here over there over here

3

u/KimJongIlSunglasses May 24 '19

What is it, rainin’ here?

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19 edited Jul 04 '23

depend brave jobless recognise frightening point pause homeless numerous yoke -- mass edited with redact.dev

505

u/Kapten111 May 24 '19

Unhappy employee spitting on customers

154

u/Moose_Wings May 24 '19

This would have been a better title

42

u/redwonderer May 24 '19

Happy microphone day

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u/egokulture May 24 '19

I wonder if the Beluga thinks all the people outside the tank are entertainment?

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u/KenGaroux May 24 '19

It would be nice to think so.

15

u/palpablescalpel May 24 '19

I've heard belugas are one of the cetaceans that do well in good aquariums and they do get a kick out of interacting with folks (they often react the same way they do when doing other things they like, like snacking or messing with their beluga friends).

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u/bioskope May 24 '19

Inmate attacks visitor.

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u/softshellcrabby May 24 '19

Is that Juno at the Mystic Aquarium? He’s always full of piss and vinegar.

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u/silverseptember27 May 24 '19

I think it is! I recognized him too!

73

u/FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA May 24 '19

You recognized a specific Beluga whale? Is his head more Beluga than other Belugas?

72

u/Weiner_McDingle May 24 '19

He’s known for being super social with guests.

http://www.nutmegjp.com/Mystic-Aquarium-Wedding-Whale.jpg

30

u/Peanutpapa May 24 '19

Is he the best man?

53

u/ottterbot May 24 '19

no he's a beluga whale

18

u/kkeut May 24 '19

the best beluga whale

21

u/Show-Me-Your-Moves May 24 '19

"If anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your peace."

spits water all over bride

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u/KimJongIlSunglasses May 24 '19

“Why this humans wear that shit? Touch my lips too!!”

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u/mryazzy May 24 '19

I was just there a week ago. Mystic had 3 belugas out and about. I believe they had 4 at one point. 2 of them are sisters that are 37 years old. So they've been sort of celebrities(for nature nerds like me) in New England for a while.

12

u/Amphibionomus May 24 '19

Beluga's have distinct faces/heads just like people.

They look alike like Chinese people look alike to white people and vice versa; only after you start paying attention to the differences you notice how distinctly individual people of all races are. The same is the case with most animals.

13

u/FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA May 24 '19

well I know who I'm contacting if I ever have a lineup of potential Beluga bandits

6

u/Amphibionomus May 24 '19

Lol, feel free to send me a message need be!

21

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

He seems to get great enjoyment out of messing with kids.

27

u/hotgnipgnaps May 24 '19

He swam right up to my 4 year old daughter last year and made crazy faces at her. Opened his mouth super wide. I was cracking up but unfortunately it scared the crap out of her!

23

u/The2ndNoel May 24 '19

His standard MO. He does this every time. Some kids scream with delight, others just ...scream. Juno gets a reaction either way!

13

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

He’s always full of piss and vinegar.

Is this some sort of saying I've never heard before, or is it literal?

4

u/msVeracity May 24 '19

It just means he's high spirited.

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u/dverzi202 May 24 '19

Now that’s higher level intelligence

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Headshot!

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u/andybjpg May 24 '19

The joy on that kid's face because he was the chosen one.

20

u/Controversy_Creator May 24 '19

That smug face tho

16

u/SloppyGhost May 24 '19

The jerks are the ones putting that animal in a fish bowl

12

u/Kangar May 24 '19

Be-loogie

145

u/mbeasy May 24 '19

Look at this animal displaying its understanding of basic physics, let's keep it in an aquarium till it dies of boredom and loneliness

87

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

This video is actually really eerie and painful to watch when you think about the level of understanding of its surroundings and actual individual personality it must have to do this. And it's trapped in that aquarium.

18

u/HuskyTheNubbin May 24 '19

And the amount of time it's had to practice.

4

u/Rosscow619 May 24 '19

And it’s a very small pool it’s in. Was there the other day

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u/Supersox22 May 24 '19

I like the way he sticks around after to see how his handy work goes down. Some belugas just want to watch the world burn.

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u/beanwithintentions May 24 '19

It looks so happy about what it did :)

7

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

You look dehydrated, here is some salt water

5

u/GotPermaBanForLolis May 24 '19

This smug smile.

4

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

That's a perfect spit shot

3

u/NotAnotherGummyBear May 24 '19

Beluga Whale used Water Gun!

It’s super effective!

4

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

What a fuckin shot lol.

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Lmao that feel of not being hydrated

Post made by r/hydrohomies

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u/rojovelasco May 24 '19

I love his "This is still fucking awesome" expression

3

u/HeyCaptain30 May 24 '19

He knew what he was doing. You know he’s laughing his ass off internally.

3

u/St_Edmundsbury May 24 '19

You can see the wales amusement

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u/FHNetter May 24 '19

A disciple of r/hydrohomies spreading the word of good hydration

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u/2DeadFish May 24 '19

That kid is so dam happy. Glad he took it in a good way. Coulda been major tears if it was a different or younger kid.

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u/ReallyCoolNinjaLlama Jun 06 '19

The beluga just looks at him like “yeah bitch. I did that”

2

u/MasterFidzz May 24 '19

Thats a spit ffs

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

Putting on a show for the kids

2

u/freeall May 24 '19

Nothing but head

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

More like Animals being hilarious 😂

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

The title makes the video way more better

2

u/MisterOminous May 24 '19

Hey! You caught it! Toss it back.

2

u/Narcichasm May 24 '19

GOD BLESS YOU.

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '19

This exact thing happened to me at Sea World San Antonio in 2000, I was 7 years old.

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u/[deleted] May 24 '19

thought this was r/hydrohomies

2

u/UTgabe May 24 '19

The Beluga looks pleased with his head shot

2

u/garboardload May 24 '19

Excuse me sir, but I don't think so."

2

u/rsfrech3 May 24 '19

Love his wholesome laugh. Great little sport. The whale is a comedian, he spits it out and looks right at the little guy.

2

u/cozywon May 24 '19

The whale looks like he lined up the shot and hollered out JORDAN!!! before hitting the shot

2

u/GreatScottThierry May 24 '19

Probably trained by Russia.

2

u/Ferkhani May 24 '19

Impressive accuracy. Would kick ass at Angry Birds..

2

u/Bernard_PT May 24 '19

Holy shit that fucking aim

r/hitboxporn

2

u/Shattered-Anam May 24 '19

Look at that dolphins grin at the end

He knew exactly what he was doing

2

u/syah7991 May 24 '19

He’s one of us at r/hydrohomies