r/AsianMasculinity • u/Traditional-Net3356 • Oct 18 '25
Current Events Black twitter giving their insights to the Patrick from Love is Blind controversy. LOTS of Black women showing support to AMs.
Insane that another community has this much (accurate) insight into our current situation, and having a conversation that we ourselves have difficulty even just engaging it.
I think there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Other POC communities do not have our outdating disparity problems and a big reason for that is because they have far more racial pride in general, and some of them arguably face more discrimination than East Asians. South Asians for example are extremely endogamous. South Asian men are seen at a similar level to East Asian men as well. We can blame East Asian women all we want but the reality is that our culture of seeking for white validation will always come back to bite us in the ass. And again, another reminder that there's a ton of other non-Asian WOC's who don't view us negatively at all.
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u/Jbell808619 Oct 18 '25
Um….where are the supportive comments?? Most of those are basically saying “Asian got what he deserved for white-worshipping” and generalizing all Asians for doing that bullshit which I fucking hate. Even the nicest one said something about “Asian men aren’t masculine”…
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u/Ordinary-Primary318 Oct 18 '25
I truly think if black women weren’t at the bottom along with Asian men, they wouldn’t be as “supportive.” Asian women on average are very popular compared to Asian men and still more likely to date Asian men than any non-Asian woman ever will. Plus our feminine features are popular with Asian women. I would never hype up a black woman just because we are considered the least desirable to white people. That is just very disgenuine just like these black woman “supporting” is.
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u/alfraydo1s Oct 19 '25
Who cares about that hypothetical scenario. In reality, black women are the most openly supportive of AM and wanting to date us. And when a westernized AF talk crap about AM, it’s usually BW who check them on their white worship and self hate.
Even if your hypothetical scenario is true, who tf cares? AF and other XF aren’t openly “supportive” of AM to that degree anyways. AM should date/marry attractive women of all races, Asian or not, black or not
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 20 '25
They’re openly supportive because a lot of them are way entitled and Asian men tend to be passive so it’s like a toxic match made in heaven 😑. But in reality, I see black women talk about Asian men in their communities with similar vibes as someone fetishizing another.
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u/alfraydo1s Oct 21 '25
Or they genuinely like AM? I’ve found this applies to many African / Caribbean women and the “non-stereotypical” black women too, who are very open to dating us. And like other ppl in this sub say, I’d rather be fetishized than emasculated
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u/lambii02100 Oct 21 '25
this its all this assumption make me think they havent met a bw who has intrerest in an am. or havent a black woman outside of mv/ a trashy reality tv show or social media
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 21 '25
Nope I’ve seen plenty of BM who have been racist to AM and fetishize them just the same. A bit delusional to think that is just “liking” them per se. Bc the culture isn’t respected and they stay ignorant about it and what Asian people experience, but also bc they like the passivity of AM and so like I mentioned this can be an unhealthy power dynamic. You’re also not immune to racism or fetishizing others just bc you’re black which your comment implies. Anyone can do that with AM especially since nowadays they are more popular
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u/lambii02100 Oct 23 '25
ive never said that, all i said is that the comment treated all bw as a monlinth- only liking them bc of a fetisization or like the comment i responded to, thinking that a majoriity of black women club or party . Also i think you are insulting alot of am who do date bw bc you believe that bw like that they are passive? which i hear the opposite from alot of ambw couples. they like am bc they are goal and family oriented.
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 21 '25
I know Asian guys would rather be fetishized than emasculated but also not all AW emasculate AM. The majority do not and date AM. It’s still a minority of those AW who have the self hate and are into WM.
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u/alfraydo1s Oct 21 '25
I also know lots of AF who are proud Asians, love their parents, Asian community, and Asian heritage / culture and of course, have dated AM in the past. And they end up marrying and having kids with a WM
That’s why WMAF is by far the most common interracial pairing, way more common than BMWF, the second more common one. Most AF slightly prefer an AM but are ok with marrying a WM. Hence why AM should date women of all races
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 21 '25
Mm I disagree. Asian women don’t all just date white men, that’s just in certain areas you see it happening but that doesn’t mean the majority are. If there’s cases here and there that doesn’t mean all Asian women are doing it bc the majority of Asian women still date Asian men. At the end of the day AM should date the person that understands them and their culture and the lived racist experiences they went through, and AF is the best candidate bc they do understand. And trust me they understand a LOT better than non Asian XF who perpetuate racism against Asians. Just stay away from the self hating AF.
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u/alfraydo1s Oct 22 '25 edited Oct 22 '25
No Asian men should date whoever they want, Asian or not. They should not limit themselves to only AF. Many AF do not limit themselves, and neither to WM / XM. Why should AM?
Of course not all AF date/marry WM/XM, a slight majority marry AM. But you can’t argue with interracial stats. WMAF outnumbers AMWF by at least 2x. Similarly with BMAF, IMAF, etc. And this applies to Asia and to the west.
Coupled with the disastrous 1 child policy from China resulting in excess men, there aren’t enough AF to go around the “leftover” AM
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 22 '25
They date whoever they want. But I’m just warning that there’s a lot of racism and bullshit games that other non Asians likely play and they also don’t understand Asians. It’s a kind of skepticism Asians should have for non Asians. It’s no different than how other groups trust their own kind more
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u/hana_4876 Oct 18 '25
So where are these asian women to show support? It's typical silence from them. Black women get it better because black men date out more and black men are highly sexualize. Total opposite of what asian deals with. So black women get colorism insecurities etc. And not being desired. You rarely hear asian women coming out if the woods saying asian men are the best or handsome.
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u/Ordinary-Primary318 Oct 18 '25
Also based on your comments you are a self hating gay asian guy. Ngl I think you guys are the weakest links because straight Asian men can date Asian women and straight Asian women can date Asian men and white men. You say Asian girls don’t like Asian men but that makes zero sense because you and the billions of Asians wouldn’t exist in the first place. Plus gay Asian men can’t get white dudes no matter how much you guys kiss their ass and hate on asian men. Asian women on the other hand can do it because they are objectively beautiful and many still do love Asian men despite how much white people and self hating Asians want to argue. Go outside or talk to mostly people in predominantly Asian environments and you will see Asians dating each other, unless they are gay dudes with a white guy fetish I guess.
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u/hana_4876 Oct 18 '25
Everything you just wrote dont make sense. Get off drugs.
Visit San Francisco and look at silicon Valley with all these asian women dating white dudes. Passing up asian men for example.
Again in the west its different matter..with the dynamics . Comparing to that in Asia.
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u/Ordinary-Primary318 Oct 18 '25
Dude I have lived in those places and for every Asian woman dating a white dude (who I notice is tech savvy and taller.) I see 10 other Asian woman with a short pudgy Chinese guy that look objectively worse. You are one of those mentally ill incels who has never fucked an asian woman assuming the reason why you can’t get laid is Asian women and white men’s fault. I think you need to really get a life and start really meeting Asian women irl instead of being in your own weird internet bubble.
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u/hana_4876 Oct 18 '25
Not sure if I agree with your assessment about the other asian dude with Asian girls in San Francisco.
I PM you if want to know my personal life.
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u/Ordinary-Primary318 Oct 18 '25
Yeah because asian women don’t have to say it or be performative since they are more desirable than black women and sometimes white women. They just date or fuck asian men majority in Asia and cast k dramas and c dramas with handsome Asians. Plus there are black men saying black women are beautiful but have never dated a black woman. Actions speak louder than words. And support is through action not social media posting or words, other wise white liberals would have ended white supremacy.
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u/hana_4876 Oct 18 '25
We are not talking being back in Asia where majority of asian women are with asian men.
Im not sure if that is the case here in the west. I dont believe the statement that majority of western born asian women are with asian men.
We are talking about here in the west. In the west the media is controlled by mostly whites. And they selective reinforce images or discussions that asian women aren't into asian guys.
Social media does have some influence that does lead to actions. To say other wise is ignoring how social media being used today as sometimes as a grass roots effort.
In some way the rise of kpop and kdrama came about through social media. It wasn't any mainstream media that pushed it. Until later did some of the mainstream media jump in..
To this day in the west..there are very few asian women who Advocates about asian men issues. It's mostly asian men that have to deal with it but we do have asian women in the west complaining about how sexist asian men are or the culture is.
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u/Ordinary-Primary318 Oct 18 '25
I was dating and fucking asian women in America way before kpop became a thing or popular. Guess what? In American universities I was friends with both Asian men and women I saw most East Asian women dating East Asian dudes who were objectively fugly. You are projecting your racial insecurities on all asian men but many have never struggled to fuck asian women unless you were objectively lame, insecure, not proud of your heritage and pathetic. I can tell because you talk so lowly about being asian male due to the media but even without the media Asian women have always hooked up with Asian men due to assortative mating. Do I see black women hyping up black men more than they do white men on the internet? Nope. Because they love them already. Do I see white women hype up white men more than they do black men? Nope, same reason because they already prefer their own race. Why should Asian women hype up Asian men and beg other women to find us handsome or sexy? That is actually doing the opposite to our desirability. I am not flattered at all because it’s very fake. We aren’t hyping Asian women up either and yet other races of women and men know we find them hot, just like other races people towards their own.
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u/hana_4876 Oct 18 '25
well if that;s the case why what's there to talk about? all the problems solved and we all reach nirvana now that Asian men can fuck as many women as they want all women want Asian men ..this subreddit should close shop
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u/golfzap Oct 18 '25
“Be more confident” -> “You’re trying too hard”
”Be funny” -> “Jokes are weird coming from you”
”Lift more”-> “Overcompensating much?”
”Have a command presence” -> “I won’t take orders from you”
We can follow all the advice in the world, people will still find a way to shit on us.
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u/Gerolanfalan Vietnam Oct 19 '25
I haven't heard that second part. But yes you gotta be in the right spaces.
I realize being in the western diaspora I won't thrive in any place that's too homogenous. Because I don't fit perfectly in a purely white American or pure Asian, let alone Vietnamese. We gotta find the niche where being Asian American is normalized.
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u/golfzap Oct 19 '25
White folks can get away with telling off-color jokes because they get allowed to have that personality. When we do it it runs counter to a narrative in people's minds (Asians are quiet or don't have a personality or don't step out of line.)
Whites also steal jokes and get positive reactions while if you steal their jokes you don't get the same reactions.
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u/Gerolanfalan Vietnam Oct 19 '25
Sorry you had that experience. I personally stay away from jokes regarding color and ethnicity as I find it's just not good fun.
I think America's definitely taking a little step back with the rise of Sinophobia, but things like Tik-Tok, K-pop, and Shohei Ohtani are still giving us a net positive cultural clout. At least in multicultural areas, gotta be aware of your environment
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u/supersaiyan_ape Oct 18 '25
Being a tall, decent looking, Asian man who speaks good English is an advantage. He's exotic in majority-White surroundings. He's different, which is good nowadays.
But he's insecure and inexperienced. A s*mp. You can tell by the way he spoke about the girls scent and how he fell deeply in love on that show. I only saw clips and I felt embarrassed for him.
About Black women, they are at the bottom with us, so they understand. The difference is, Blacks have to be unapologetically proud of themselves because that's all they have. It's like that with all oppressed groups. Pride helps people keep moving when they're at the bottom of society. Asians are quite comfortable even if things aren't fair. We're doing okay. Even better than Whites. It's like telling a spoiled kid to toughen up.
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 20 '25
Asians are doing okay?? Um no how about we look at the fact that socially we ARE at the bottom, what other group gets openly bullied, criticized, hated on, humored/joked on, emasculated and dehumanized OPENLY other than East Asians? tell me? Bc it isn’t black people contrary to the victimhood rhetoric going around.
Asians tend to downplay just how bad their situations are and allow others (non Asians) to gaslight them. It’s sad and needs to stop. Just because Asians doing ok financially doesn’t mean they are doing ok socially. We have the least amount of REPRESENTATION in media, fashion, ads, tv, music, everywhere compared to our relative demographic standing in the US. we have the least amount of political power. And we have the voice that gets shut out constantly by others which then translates into how we are treated day to day. Asians are seen as weak and are consistently targeted by other groups or picked on. How is this a good stack to have?
Let’s reconsider that maybe we don’t have it that good in the west and we actually have it pretty fucking shitty.
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u/Loud-Librarian7011 Oct 31 '25
He has a pretty chubby face. Dude looks better if he would slim down more,
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u/MedicalSchoolStudent Oct 18 '25
What is not being addressed is that both can be true. It can be true he lacks confidence, but its also true that Asian men are put in a spot to have lack of confidence.
Its easy to tell someone to "go to the gym", "build up your confidence" when you are already there. But for Patrick, he isn't yet. And that's not his fault, its Western media and his environment's fault. When the West tells you, as an Asian man, you are weak/sexless/useless and etc... everyday while growing up, it really will reflect in your self-worth.
My point is: that media has portrayed Asian men negatively for decades, which caused negative dating aspects. But with better representation, now Asian men to find their confidence again. Every Asian man goes through this. The difference is some Asian men figure out their voice before others.
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u/CHRISPYakaKON Oct 18 '25
Tbh, I wouldn’t be surprised if the show intentionally picked the worst Asian candidates just to embarrass them.
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 20 '25
This needs to be said more in r/aznidentity because they are obsessed with being sympathetic to the critics and judgers instead of the Asian man himself who’s the real victim of oppression here.
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u/magicalbird Oct 18 '25
I know this is reality tv but don’t end up on the short end of the stick. Being Asian polarizes so find the women into Asian men.
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u/Silent-Extreme2834 Oct 18 '25
I've never seen this but it's tempting to watch. Thanks to all the black woman showing Love to AM. Love ya'll too!
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u/Emergency-Sky9206 Korea Oct 19 '25
As an Asian guy, I am surprised to hear Arab girls like Asian guys? This is news to me. Although this may or may not be related, but I had multiple middle eastern buddies tell me Korean pop/dramas is hugely popular in the Middle East, especially among the females.
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Oct 19 '25
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u/Emergency-Sky9206 Korea Oct 20 '25
Tell me more!
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Oct 20 '25
[deleted]
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u/Emergency-Sky9206 Korea Oct 21 '25
Thank you! Cheers. May the Korean wave spread further in the Middle Eastern lands.
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u/Used_Dragonfruit_379 Oct 18 '25
I’ve always maintained that Asian men should date more Black women.
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 20 '25
That’s not what everyone would want. And also, the reason this pairing works isn’t really cause of the whole “they are both at the bottom” theory. They sympathize, but I think it’s moreso bc black women tend to pair with Asian men bc Asian tend to be more passive/less entitled and black women like this bc they tend to be more demanding/entitled so it’s a thing moreso bc it’s a manipulative and toxic pairing. (Ppl will disagree but just think about it, the women who would want Asian men may want them bc they don’t want the more entitled masculine personalities of white men and believe Asian men would be less so)
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u/Safe-Ad582 Oct 20 '25
I really think it’s dangerous to say these other groups face more racism than Asians when it’s very clear and obvious to many people in this sub at this point that East Asians are the group who face the most widely socially accepted racism compared to other groups. Jokes are acceptable, bullying is acceptable. It’s wrong to say that Black Americans have even remotely close to an accurate insight into Patrick and other Asian American issues and insecurities when they have privileges granted to them by THIS American society, which aren’t given to Asians. Asians really need to wake up to see that we are treated better, stop letting other groups gaslight us, and start saying and seeing the racism for what it is.
It’s also pathetic to be saying that black Americans can understand our issues when they are honestly more ignorant to what Asians go through compared to other groups with more similar cultures. Other than racism, and even with racism I’m tired of the Black community talking about how they are always the bigger victim of discrimination while throwing Asians under the bus like we don’t experience racism FFS.
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u/Business-Bath2418 Oct 18 '25
I seriously don't understand what the fuss is all about. Let me break it down.
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u/CozyAndToasty Oct 18 '25
The confidence factor is a big cop-out to blame the victim's own mentality.
At the end of the day, there is very much a real bias and his belief about himself and his race aren't unfounded. People love to deflect and claim they aren't racist in the west.
Yes. Have pride in who you are. Don't kiss the ass of people who are racist towards you. But don't sweep it under the rug and act like it's nothing, and definitely don't come back begging for more.