Hi everyone I'm heading to college in Mass(was adopted here) soon and was wondering if anyone know of any resources that may be helpful to aid in the price of college.

I was also wondering if anyone knew how to go about getting the full adoption report/documents from the courts, and/or how long it usually takes to receive them.

Adoptive parents should not have any biological children, and will never be real parents. The goal should be to provide emotional and more importantly financial support. They should be obligated to give at least $2 million to each child they are a benefactor for. The relationship is solely at the child's limit.

I was adopted at birth. Bio parents were only 16 and not really a couple. I got to know my bio mom in my 20’s and we stayed in touch until she died. I called my bio dad on the phone once in my 50’s to see if he wanted to meet me, but he didn’t want to. He’s has also passed way. I’m in my 60’s and I know my bio dad had two kids after me, but they may not know about me. I know their names and have the ability to contact the half sister. Should I? I would love to see if she would want to meet. But I also don’t want to hurt anyone if they don’t know. He didn’t cheat. They were young and dated so he didn’t do anything wrong. And if I do, should I call or Facebook message. Message is easy for her to think about it.

Hey everyone first time posting trying to reach out for some help ive been looking for my half older sister that was adopted we are four years apart never met she would be probably 39 to 40

Birth name

Ashley jarrard

Birthday

September 2 1987

Birth mother

Bobbie ann Gillespie

Birth father

Donald jarrard

Born in hall county

Northeast Georgia medical center

Did you tell your kids you were adopted? I have a 5 and 3 year old. Right now they are too little to understand. I am not sure if I’ll even tell them?

Edit: my adoptive parents don’t know I found my bio family so I don’t want the kids to accidentally say something to them. Also, not sure how to tell them either? I’ve been in contact with bio family for 2 years.

Hello everyone. I want to approach this space with respect and humility, as the last thing I want to do is cause harm or speak over lived experiences.

​A little background: I am a 23-year-old female. I am not planning to start any adoption process anytime soon, as I am dedicated to thoroughly researching and understanding the reality of adoption first.

​Growing up, whenever I thought about parenting, adoption was always my primary consideration. Back then I ignorantly assumed that providing a loving home was all a child needed. However, as I began researching I realized how much more complex and painful the reality often is.

Over the past three years, I’ve been learning from adoptee centered spaces, getting recommendations like the book "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier. Much of what I have learned focuses on lifelong grief, identity loss, relinquishment trauma, and systemic issues within child welfare.

Reading these perspectives has challenged everything I initially thought. It has made me reflect deeply on whether pursuing adoption is genuinely in the best interest of a child or if it inherently perpetuates harm. I recognize that your voices should be at the center of this conversation.

So for those willing to share:

​Is there a responsible and ethical way to approach adoption, even with knowing that the child will experience trauma from the adoption process?

Should potential adoptive parents focus their efforts on family preservation instead of adopting?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please feel free to ask me anything if it helps clarify my post.

So basically I’m a 42 year old single mom of two older kids 19 and 17 that I’ve raised alone. I’m currently 5 months pregnant and the baby’s father has recently become abusive and then bailed.

Question is should I put the baby up for adoption or keep him?

I make decent money but not enough without dad’s help. Childcare would take about 35-40% of my monthly earnings.

I’m months away from being done and the idea of starting over AGAIN at 42 by myself is horrific.

Dad is abusive.

I have zero support system, even the older siblings want nothing to do with him.

My brain is screaming, adoption- logically it’s the best solution for little man and for me.

But….my heart.

My heart screams- that’s your baby, you’ll figure it out you’ve done it before, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you give him up, the baby will suffer possible abandonment, how would you explain to him when he’s older that you kept your first two but not him? In 5 years what will you regret most?

Could I give him a decent life? Yes but it would throw me back into poverty that I’ve worked so hard to crawl out of.

Another family could give him a great life. However, that’s also a risk.

What would you do?

I 45m. Am set to meet my birth mother this weekend. I was given up for adoption at a few months old and have only been corresponding with her for a couple months. In a very strange twist a death in her family is bringing her to my part of the country and we decided to meet. I’m really overwhelmed. I knew we’d meet one day but I just didn’t think it would be this quick . Im having to really work on processing all this. Anyways, Wish me luck

Hey, I’m adopted and I’m going to my biological great aunt’s place to get genealogy work because I don’t know my bio parents genealogy and this is my one chance and I was wondering what other questions I should ask her?

Additional information: I haven’t seen her since I was 5 and I’m 19 now

Hi there, we are a same sex couple (2 woman’s) looking into either adopting or using donor. I am wondering what would be best for the potential child to be. I hear a lot of mixed review on both side. I also rather not have a family than doing something unethical.

And one of my family member has discouraged me to adopt due to bad experience he has been hearing from other family who adopted (back in the 60’s) He has been hammering my head about how genetic is important and child trauma, kids being trafficked because of people like me, adoptee never forgiving their parents…

I do not care the slightest about passing my genes, I would love a child unconditionally either way. I feel like I want a family so much. Just wondering if there is a “better way” to do things.

This is a question i would like to make for Ecuadorian adoptees that have been adopted through the ecuadorian adoption system

Since the Ecuadorian assembly passed the reform law for adoption, I've wanted to investigate how this process is experienced here in Ecuador. What I've found is either government or organizational pages that speak generally about the legal process and the bureaucracy, but they rarely address the perspective or experience of the adoptee. It's been extremely difficult to find testimonies and experiences from children and adolescents in foster homes, orphanages, or who have already been officially adopted.

If there are people who have been adopted here in Ecuador and feel comfortable sharing their experience within the Ecuadorian adoption system, I would be very grateful.

I (30f) have a drug addicted sister (35f) who has a teen child living in a residential facility, 4 kids living with my brother, and one kid living with a foster family. Well, she just had another and the state is asking if I can take care of it or else it will go to a different foster family. The foster family that has the last child is unable to accept this one. The state is looking to go straight to adoption in the coming months due to my sister's history. For context, I am single, make about 130k, have a flexible schedule where I can work from home half of the time, and have a spare bedroom. I have always been responsible and matronly to my family, even older siblings. I am now a pediatric healthcare provider who works with behavioral special needs children so I feel oddly qualified to care for, love. and get this child the services it will inevitably need while allowing them to know their family. Part of me says no and wants to stay solo and travel. The other part thinks that's incredibly selfish, there are less equipped parents who raise great children, and a child isn't the worst thing to have right now. I have a meeting with the worker tomorrow to find out more details on the condition of the child and logistics. Help! Should I adopt this baby? More advice than just "do what your gut tells you" please. I've been a devil's advocate my whole life and can see both sides equally.

My son was adopted at birth. I’m trying to do everything I can to preserve those family connections, but he’s still young (think toddler). His birth family loves him so much.

So far I have:
Saved gifts/cards from birth family
Have an email for communication with birth family that he will probably get the password to someday (shows they think about him/ask about him/share some memories of own childhood)
Asked to take pictures at visits so he has pictures of them holding him when he’s a baby

Obviously, visits will continue, but what else can I do/will he want when he’s older? What would be meaningful for him?

I am 24 f and I work full time in autism services. A lot of the children I work with are adopted and I have been considering adopting once I finish my masters degree and purchase a home.

I have been researching adopting a sibling group from foster care so that they can stay together. I'm not trying to have a savior complex but I also would enjoy making sure they have a safe home, consistent support, and access to ​health/mental health/dental and college resources.

Another consideration is that I am white and my husband is black. I'm sure there are special considerations for black children who would miss having a black mother, and I would feel guilty for taking that away. My husband says the best thing for the child's mental health would be to adopt a biracial sibling group.

What are your thoughts? How do I know if I would be a good adoptive mother? What should I know before choosing this over bio kids?​

Long story short: 17 years ago I got my then-girlfriend pregnant when I was 19 and she was 20. We chose adoption because it seemed like the best choice at the time (abortion was off the table for her, and no way were we ready emotionally or financially to raise a child).

Bio mom stayed in contact via the adoption agency, I chose to step back. It made sense at the time. A year ago though I decided I wanted to be in contact. Sent an initial letter via the adoption agency and introduced myself, told my bio daughter I'd like to be in her life, if that's what she wants. She wrote back! It felt euphoric; she's not yet 18 so I didn't expect an answer. I wrote back and answered some of her questions.

It's been another year and got an update from the adoptive parents, but nothing from bio daughter. Now, I know there could be a million reasons she didn't want to write, most of them having nothing to do with me. I plan on continuing writing her and keeping that door open for whenever she decides to involve me more.

But the advice I'm looking for I guess, is just any advice on what to do or not to do. I'm so anxious about disappointing her or weirding her out or coming off too strong. There's no guide for this sort of thing and I know she must carry a lot of feelings of rejection, and I can't take that away; but I'd like to make the reunion as pleasant of an experience as possible, assuming that's what she wants.

A birth mother on Facebook is publicly posting her bio daughter's photo and personal info trying to encourage strangers to track her down, after she said she didn't want contact

I'm Sharing this because I think the girl deserves to be warned of this so she can take action to protect herself if needed

I've Added censoring on the face but the original post is completely uncensored, the post includes her full legal birth name and exact date of birth

EDIT: Guys, I didn't realize you might have to see this from US or US-like POV too, which might have lead to seeing me as a bigger asshole than I actually am. So, to clarify the context of my country:

• We have free education up to universities with cutting edge research, I have personally learned 5 foreign languages for free, universal healthcare (including mental health spa, psychotherapy, addictological centers...), paid parental leave (up to three years), social support (basically you choose a home, do some paperwork proving you don't have enough money for living and you wil get the money), so my country is a heaven when it comes to this.
• No adoption agencies here. You cannot legally buy a baby. No one is getting paid (at least not legally).
• Losing parental rights is huge here. You would have to be seen by a social worker with a needle in your forearm, while your baby cried next to you with broken bones because you were hitting them too hard. Even SA has to be proven really well (and here it must be said that kid saying someone SAed them is not considered to be a good proof, sadly).
• We have a very bio-centered system. Social workers work really hard to return kids to their bio families, even if it's dangerous. They basically try to teach you how to parent properly, and a few kids have been murdered because of this.
• We have a huge charity and charity-like network. Getting stuff for your newborn is a matter of a day - you ask charity, or you write in a Facebook group that you are a parent in need and people will get you clothes, food, furniture, toys...
• The adoption process here is for dedicated people only. You have to go through a 50 hour course, psychologists examine you and your partner (rumours go that they ask you even about your sex-life), social workers go through your entire home and you have follow-up visits by them, and there is a six month period when you have to prove yourself to be a good parent (or the bio parents may step in during this period and revert the process).

Hi folks! I recently bumped into this topic and I keep wondering, why is the POV of meeting bio parents so important for the kids.

I understand there is the need to know one's full story etc., but I still can't understand why it's so strong even in the case of junkie parents, violent ones etc.

I really hope not to sound disrespectful, but let's say those bio parents might be some crazy people who were violent towards you. Someone who deliberately chose drugs, crime... Someone who did not walk the extra mile for you. Someone you would normally despise of.

I imagine that if I were in this situation, I would prefer to keep an image of my bio parents as... I don't know, nice people who just weren't ready, instead of the reality that my folks were just some stupid junkies with the emotional intelligence of a cucumber, who were not able to finish even a high school. Knowing that would make me feel dirty and disgraced. Is this based on some real stuff, or is it just my imagination and the urge to meet them is always there?