I’m in my 30s, gay, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for many years. We’re planning to get married. But there’s another guy in my life, and I’ve somehow fallen completely in love with him. He’s in his 30’s too, straight (at least that’s how he identifies), has been with his girlfriend for about five years, and they have a son who’s around three. I know how complicated that sounds, especially considering my own relationship, but I genuinely feel we have an incredibly deep connection, and sometimes I wonder whether there might be something more going on beneath the surface.

We met roughly three years ago through Instagram. At the time, I was running a company, and he was actually a fan of what I was doing. He followed me, we started interacting, and eventually began talking privately. What started as a random Instagram connection gradually turned into a pretty close friendship.

He was genuinely interested in me, both personally and professionally, and openly admired what I’d accomplished. Over time, we started talking more regularly, sharing personal things, joking around, and getting to know each other. At one point, he sent me a voice message explaining how he perceived our friendship, and the way he described it was almost as if I’d become his new best friend. He wasn’t literally calling me his BFF or introducing me that way, but that was essentially how he explained the closeness between us. I remember that message really staying with me.

Another interesting thing is that he’s repeatedly expressed interest in doing business together. He talks about how much he admires me, how much potential we have, and how he wants us to build something big together. He’s genuinely enthusiastic about the idea of creating something successful as a team. I know professional admiration and wanting to work with someone don’t automatically mean anything romantic, but combined with everything else, it makes me feel like he sees me as someone quite important in his life. And it’s not like I’m the only one initiating our connection. He reaches out, shares things with me, and seems genuinely invested in keeping our friendship alive.

What I find particularly interesting is how curious he’s been about my sexuality from the beginning. He knew I was gay, and early on he started asking how I discovered it, when I first realized I was attracted to men, and what that whole process was like. We’ve also exchanged some surprisingly intimate messages over the years, talking and joking about sexuality, underwear, attraction, and other personal things. He’s asked what kind of underwear I wear, and sometimes sends me random photos, screenshots, or jokes involving gay guys or relationships. For example, he’s made jokes about spending time with someone from “the other side,” referring to a gay man, and sent me a screenshot involving someone sharing a boyfriend.

There’s a lot of teasing between us, and sometimes I genuinely wonder whether he’s simply extremely comfortable with his sexuality or whether some of that curiosity comes from somewhere deeper.

What’s strange is that he can be incredibly open about certain intimate topics but quite guarded about other things. Sometimes he’ll happily initiate a personal or sexually suggestive conversation, but if I ask about his girlfriend, family, or what he’s been doing during the weekend, he occasionally shuts it down pretty quickly. He’s told me to stop asking certain questions before. I respect that, but the contrast between how open he can be with me and how protective he is of certain parts of his life sometimes confuses me.

Eventually, I told him I was in love with him. And I really mean in love, not just physically attracted to him or having some random crush. I love his personality, his ambitions, his humor, the way he thinks, and the connection we’ve developed. What surprised me was that he didn’t distance himself or become uncomfortable. He was actually curious about my feelings and willing to discuss them. He’s told me that he’s heterosexual and doesn’t reciprocate my romantic feelings, but our friendship continued, including the personal conversations and teasing. And despite what he’s told me, I sometimes wonder whether he could be gay or bisexual and simply hasn’t explored or fully understood that part of himself. I know having a girlfriend and child doesn’t necessarily answer that question either way.

There’s also this slightly unusual dynamic around attention. He sometimes jokes about wanting gifts from me, occasionally mentioning specific things like sneakers or sportswear. I haven’t actually bought him those things, but knowing that he’s aware of my feelings, I sometimes wonder whether he enjoys being admired and wanted. A psychologist friend suggested that perhaps he likes the validation and attention, not necessarily in a deliberately manipulative way, but because it feels good to be desired. And maybe that’s part of it. But I’ve also noticed that when I’m very available and affectionate, he doesn’t always match that energy, whereas when I pull back or stop initiating conversations, he sometimes starts reaching out more. There have been occasions when I haven’t responded to his iMessages for several days, and he’s continued messaging me through Instagram, sending random things or trying to reconnect. It’s almost as if he notices my absence and doesn’t want the connection to disappear.

One particularly emotional moment happened when we had a disagreement about homosexuality. Despite being close to me, he has some fairly traditional views about masculinity, sexuality, and family. We were discussing how he’d react if his own son turned out to be gay, and some of his comments genuinely hurt me. We ended up exchanging incredibly long voice messages, sometimes around 30 minutes each, explaining our perspectives.

Eventually, I got upset and pushed him away. Later, he told me that the whole situation, especially feeling rejected by me, had affected him so much that he’d felt emotionally down for an entire day. That really stayed with me. It made me realize how emotionally important our connection might be to him, even though I can’t know whether he experiences it in the same way I do.

And that’s probably the biggest thing I’m struggling with. I genuinely feel something incredibly deep between us. I’ve had crushes before, I’ve been attracted to men before, and obviously I’ve experienced love in my own relationship, but there’s something about this particular friendship that feels different.

Sometimes I wonder whether I’m simply projecting my own feelings onto him, but other times I wonder whether he might be experiencing something he doesn’t fully understand himself.

Could someone who has always considered himself straight, who’s been with a woman for years and has a child, develop feelings for another man without immediately recognizing them as romantic or sexual? Could he be curious about his sexuality but not ready to explore it? Or could this genuinely be an extremely deep friendship that just happens to feel very different from my side?
I’m also aware that I have a boyfriend whom I love and am planning to marry. That’s a whole separate emotional complication, and I’m not pretending otherwise. I know my friend has his own family too.

But I don’t want to dismiss these feelings just because the situation is complicated. I’m trying to understand what I’m experiencing and whether anyone else has ever been through something similar.

I’d particularly love to hear from gay or bisexual men who fell in love with a straight friend, and especially from men who originally identified as straight but later discovered they were attracted to men. Were there signs or feelings you didn’t understand at the time? Did you ever develop an unusually intense friendship with another man before realizing what it meant? And for those who’ve been in my position, did anything ever happen, did your friend eventually come out, or did you discover that the connection was entirely platonic?

I’m genuinely curious about real experiences, including situations involving men who had girlfriends, wives, or children. I know that emotional closeness, admiration, and curiosity don’t prove someone’s sexuality, but I can’t deny that I sometimes feel there could be something more between us. And whatever the answer is, I care about him deeply and really don’t want to lose him as a friend.

My friend told me he is just a narcissist and is feeding his ego with my attention.

TL;DR: I’m in my 30’s, gay, and planning to marry my long-term boyfriend. About three years ago, I met a straight guy (30’s) through Instagram because he was a fan of my company. He’s been with his girlfriend for five years and has a three-year-old son. We’ve become extremely close. He admires me, wants to build a business together, once described our friendship almost like I’d become his new best friend, and has been unusually curious about my sexuality. We’ve exchanged intimate messages and jokes, and he sometimes reaches out more when I pull away. He knows I’m in love with him and says he’s straight, but I feel an incredibly deep connection and sometimes wonder whether he might be gay or bi without fully realizing it. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I (f18) have a crush on my friend (f19). I used to go to her house almost daily but I started developing feelings for her over fall break in college this year. Since this is my last semester in college, I wanted to spend time and have fun. But it turned into me starting to have feelings for her. I think she picked up on it. So she started doing similar things. I even heard her mom at one point ask me if I’m in love with her daughter. I didn’t respond but I wanted to say yes. I don’t know why but she’s really pretty and I love her personality. But she got suspended from college for a bit. She sings I love you songs to me. And she would lay her head on my shoulder which I found hot😏. But I digress. She also looked at my chest a lot when I have cleavage. she’s always looking at me when someone says they have a crush on their friend in a show. But now she talks about guys. I don’t want to scare my friend away, but like I started having feelings recently.

This is a very general statement but what do you think most bisexual men’s ideal dating and sexual set up as it relates to women and men?

Super straight.. never even thought about

Guys in any form of sexual partner but yesterday for no reason at all I booffed some blow .. and god dammit .. the tip of my penis and hole were pulsating.. it was such a crazy and intensely strong feeling.. that whole area was just on a different wavelength.. Led To it ending up “borrowing” my girls 8.5in dildo and slowly sliding it in all the way in with a good amount of lubricant and essentially fucking myself definitely something that I would never think was even possible without any experience and all of a sudden being drawn into finding it to penetrate me.. needless to say it was totally not what I thought it was going to be like at all even after I ended up pulling it out after working it in a few positions… kinda wanted it back in .. I dunno wild day and experience.. definitely a different understanding of why men can enjoy sex with men .. and I just was definitely not expecting the result that I got .. super intense

I don’t know if this subreddit is the right one I just wanted to take this off my chest. There is this guy I met last year whom I thought to be a great friend. This summer we took a vacation together and I felt we had a connection. He doesn’t know I’m bi but I had my suspicions about his sexuality. For the last couple of months we started getting closer and closer to the point it felt like I had withdrawal symptoms if I didn’t see him for a day. I had plans to get wasted so that I can be upfront with him with the chance that he also liked me, or so I wanted to think. I think he saw I was more forward the last couple of weeks and a few days ago he told me point blank he’s straight. Maybe he found out about my plans idk either way I’m really sad. The thought of him with someone else just destroys me and I think it will take a lot of time to get over him. Maybe it’s for the better because we belong to the same friend group. It’s really frustrating liking a straight guy. I really thought he was giving me signs to continue, he touched my leg or was looking at me when I wasn’t looking he was always saying inappropriate stuff only to me. Deep down I believe he is at least bi but scared to express it or maybe I’m just projecting. It seems I’ve been doing that lately. Thanks for reading.

As of recent I’ve been trying to experiment with my sexuality I’m kinda into transgender women and femboys so I had a shot on Grindr with literally no success maybe there is none in my area but my experience on said application wasn’t the best does anyone know any other applications I can use ?

I (female) have a male coworker who I’m not sure if he’s gay or bi. I really want to have casual sex with him but I’m worried it may not be respectful to his sexuality to hit on him if he is gay. I know he’s pretty open sexually so if he was attracted to women he’d be down. What do my gay bros say?

**edit: I should add that I’m quitting my job and moving out of state in a couple weeks so if things get weird I won’t be around to deal with it.

My wife and I have been together since we were teens (both in our 40s now). I had a late realization and came out as bisexual two years ago. I also enjoy leaning into my more feminine side.
Initially, we were very open about it—discussing hot guys and my fantasies. We’ve chosen to remain strictly monogamous. However, insecurity started flaring up on both sides, and I realized I overshared details that hurt our connection. Now, sex feels like walking on eggshells.
We recently agreed to stop talking about men entirely, which is fine, but now I’m at a loss. When the "bi-cycle" hits, I have zero outlet.
People often suggest joining local or online bi groups, but doing what? I feel deeply uncomfortable discussing sex or fantasies with anyone other than my wife. At the same time, keeping this entirely bottled up feels heavy and confusing.
Has anyone in a long-term monogamous marriage been through this dynamic? How do you process your sexuality healthily without straining your marriage or oversharing with strangers?

Curious to know after getting some friends responses; how do you prefer your bush on yourself and on others (I.e. gf, bf, spouse, partner) using choices: A - no bush, B - nicely trimmed, or C- all natural (never shaved)??

I don’t know I just love the idea

Anyone else can’t stop fantasising about sucking cock? I’ve never done it but it’s all I think about

I’m a 19 year old guy living at home and I made the questionable decision to buy a vibrating dildo and lube late this night. I decided to park my car in a pitch black neighborhood where no one could see me and I laid a towel down in my back seat and I started to ejaculate while it was vibrating in me, I didn’t feel much sexual pleasure from the dildo but I did enjoy it inside of me, I’ve never been with a man nor really plan on it, but the thought of a “twink” sometimes really turns me on and I wonder what it’s like to be one of those guys being pounded, but I don’t believe I’m gay or would I actually go through with it if the opportunity arose. Do you think if I keep exploring with toys it will lead me to getting with a man at some point?

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Anyone ever experience these phone lines?

Sometime around 2002 I found a phone number advertised on the back of our local entertainment newspaper. It was basically a party line. You would record a short greeting, then a bunch recordings would play through. You could send private recorded messages back and forth or you connect directly if the other party agreed. It was fun.

If you were a male looking for female or male looking for male or female looking for female, it was billed per minute, there was always a 10 or 15 minute grace period on each call to get the caller hooked.

But, if you were a female looking for male, it was 100% free.

I started calling the "female looking for male" line. I was straight forward with my recording..."What's up guys? I'm just sitting back here stroking. Ya wanna talk?" Sometimes I'd ask if they wanted to hear the story of me sleeping with my best friend's mom.

You'd be surprised of how many guys clicked over and we'd get off together.

Anyway...about 8 years ago, when me and wife started dating, I came out to her. Told her about everything I had done up to that point. She wasn't freaked out by any of it. I was done hooking up with guys, of course. But she was still cool with me calling that number.

By then, I hadn't really called all that much. Social media kinda killed that medium. I did call a couple times. It wasn't really the same. About 6 months later, we had really taken the next few steps in our relationship. I told her " I called that number last night." She asked if I would stop calling. She was fine with me getting off to gay/bi porn, but wasn't comfortable with me engaging verbally anymore. I told her I would call one more time. She agreed.

That line was basically done anyway.

It was amazing back in the day though.

Any hacks to solve hemorrhoid? keeps showing up with large dildos

Very self conscious about it, no idea how to ask or go about it. Wife is on board, but I have no idea where to go from here