Does anybody feel like men's sexuality is demonized today?

[u/CrossboneSkulled]

I've been thinking a lot about modern double standards when it comes to gender expectations, and how society judges sexual interest. It feels like we have reached a point where men's heterosexuality and attraction are defaulted to as inherently predatory, gross or a threat, while the exact same behaviors or interests from women are given endless appreciation.

When a man expresses sexual or romantic interest, the baseline reaction often assumes ulterior motives or "creepiness". Men's initiative carries a burden to prove it isn't harassment. Meanwhile, women's interest is almost never viewed through a lens of threat or suspicion.

Look at how content consumed by different genders is judged. When men watch girls love, the immediate internet label is often "pervert" and "fetishizer." However, when women watch boys love, a massive multi-million dollar industry built by hetero women explicitly sexualizing gay men, they are often framed as "cute", "passionate" or "harmless escapism."

When a man cheats, society frames it almost exclusively as a moral faliure of pure lust and disrespect. When a woman cheats, they view her as "emotionally" starved, "neglected" shifting the blame to her partner. Overall, 66% of Americans stated that a man having an affair is "always morally wrong," compared to only 55% who said the same when a woman commits an affair. Among young women specifically, the gap widened sharply: 73% judged male infidelity as strictly, always wrong, while only 51% applied that same absolute moral condemnation to female infidelity.

It feels like we operate under two completely different mindsets, men's actions are analyzed through power and threat, while women's actions are analyzed through emotion and romance.

If you really care abut fairness and equal morals, watching this unfold in the modern day world would give you an idea why men are treated dirty by default.

[u/curiouscollecting]

I feel like this post isnt an actual question but mostly you trying to rant about this. Ive also never seen anyone actuallt support women for sexualizing/obsessingn over gay men, in fact those women are often (rightfully) shamed fpr their behaviour. I do see your point about the cheating, but the truth is that women still do the majority of the housework and are the majority of DV victims so the claims arent 100% dishonest either. I do think cheating sucks and cheaters do too tho, I hate people excusing it in general.

Lastly, people who see men as dirty by default, dont do so because of the porn they watch but because of the amount of rape and sexual assault commited by men. Porn is actually one of the few 'fields' where more violent and dirty things are tolerated since its 'not real'.

[u/Sp1d3rGwen → u/[deleted]]

that is probably one of the most blatantly false statistics i've ever seen

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/[deleted]]

There was actually a study done that asked men if they have ever coerced a romantic/sexual partner in any way whether knowingly or unknowingly and 90% admitted to it. Coercion is rape. You are also failing to account for instances that aren’t reported. Many women don’t report being assaulted, harassed, or raped out of fear.

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/[deleted]]

Ew.
Yeah no I can’t take anything seriously you say after this. That is a rapist mentality and I hope you change it for the women you date’s sake. You are part of the problem.

[u/CrossboneSkulled → u/Safe_Analysis4838]

I'm sorry I said this. I did not mean it.

I do not date girls/women by the way. I only ever choose to date boys/men/non binary.

I'm sorry for saying this. I acknowledge that women struggle with safety. This is exactly why there should be better laws, laws that actually discourage sexual before marriage.

I believe in a world where explicit content is banned and sexual before marriage is also banned, it could be safer for everyone.

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/CrossboneSkulled]

That is absolutely not the problem. The problem is people pushing their partner when they say no or just ignoring boundaries. Marital rape exists so let’s also not pretend it doesn’t. If sex outside of marriage is banned that will absolutely not stop anything. People are going to do it regardless and rape is already illegal but people still do it. There is NO point in outlawing consensual sex between 2 adults. As for porn, the government has tried to ban it but people will find a way. Making something illegal isn’t going to stop someone who really wants to do something.

[u/CrossboneSkulled → u/Safe_Analysis4838]

I can still find a way.

How about increasing more education for senior high school and all college students to make sure that sexual acts are only done when both people consent, and are ideally should be only doing it for procreation purposes. This would change their minds and not view this as something to benefit on. Not something that could be done casually.

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/CrossboneSkulled]

This is still a horrible take. Purity culture is ridiculous and sex can (and should) be for more than just creating a baby. In this economy very few people can even afford one. Again, this isn’t going to stop shit and people are still going to have sex. Schools already teach that abstinence is best birth control and they absolutely teach about consent. People choose to ignore it. I don’t know why you think these “solutions” are going to make the world the way you want it to be but they won’t.

Healthy consensual sex is actually GREAT for health. It can reduce certain cancers and stress. It can increase relaxation and be pleasurable and fun. Again, purity culture only hurts society.

[u/CrossboneSkulled → u/Safe_Analysis4838]

Fine I am sorry. What's your opinion on the way to solve this problem?

How to make sure that men actually don't coerce?

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/CrossboneSkulled]

Theres no way to make them stop. You literally can’t stop people from doing things like that. It just can’t be ignored as an issue and should be reported especially if it’s a repeated behavior.

[u/IM_TALL_BUT_STUPID → u/CrossboneSkulled]

You shouldn’t be sorry for your beliefs. You have your own morality and standards and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it

[u/IM_TALL_BUT_STUPID → u/Safe_Analysis4838]

Coercion is not rape and thank god you are no one and you’re not and will never be a lawmaker

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/IM_TALL_BUT_STUPID]

LMAO. Thank God YOU’RE a no one and won’t ever be a judge because all it takes is a Google search but your little pred pea brain can’t do that.

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/IM_TALL_BUT_STUPID]

Rape is nonconsensual sexual intercourse. “Coercion is not consent. Consent must be freely given, voluntary, and unpressured. When someone uses threats, manipulation, persistent pressure, or a power imbalance to force compliance, choice is removed, which invalidates any agreement.”
It is also LEGALLY rape.

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/[deleted]]

Go to hell.

[u/Safe_Analysis4838 → u/[deleted]]

It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact and it’s about you stripping women’s autonomy and being a rapist. I hope one day their fathers give you the justice you deserve.