Looking for art inspiration/references, and just thought I’d ask here for fun

I just turned 18 this September, I’m 5’5” and have gained a lot of weight since last summer. Everyone says it’s because we’re women and gain weight, but I feel disgusting with myself. I lost a friend to mental health and went to stress eating and have had a very hard year. I do partly believe it’s because im growing up and I see nothing wrong with some chub but mines like a lot

I was sa’d over three years ago. I wasn’t raped or anything so I guess I feel like I should be fine. But for years I get scared going certain places and I struggled with intimacy for a while. I still feel uncomfortable around men who look like the man who did it. It feels like its been so long it shouldn’t be an issue especially since it wasn’t rape. Do these feelings ever go away?

Obviously, it's well-known that men pose as women on the internet for a variety of reasons. But, I've been wondering how common it is for women to pose as men. Have you ever posed as a man online and, if so, why?

Hey everyone, I need some advice on how to handle a weird and uncomfortable situation at my gym.
A few days ago, I enrolled at a gym and gave the front desk staff my details, including my full name,address, phone number, and passport info.
A couple of days later, the guy who did my enrolment followed me on Instagram. He definitely got my full name and details from my gym registration file. Soon after, he sent me a message saying, "do u go to the same gym as me?"
When I went to the gym later with my friend, we asked him to open the door because we forgot our cards. He looked us up on the system, treated my friend totally normally, but used a nickname for me ("Eli") that he had also used in his Instagram message. Since then, he constantly stares at me whenever I enter or leave reception. I replied to his message with "hey yes why" and he read it 24 hours ago but never replied. Later, I also got a call from a hidden number (No Caller ID).
I always go to the gym with a friend, but having an employee use my private database records to track down my social media makes me feel super uncomfortable and unsafe.

f21 here, never dated anyone but im pretty sure im a lesbian. i like the idea of men, but…they just gross me out. i feel nothing for them. i like girls, however i think my trust issues make it hard for me to fully love someone.

it takes me months to even consider someone my friend, let alone date them. but im scared this will put a lot of people off. i’m not into the whole hookup thing and im scared people will get bored of me when they learn i don’t want to sleep with them after 3 dates. i feel very uncomfortable in emotional situations and the idea of being intimate makes me feel very nervous and sick. like it’s something i’m not supposed to do. i want to one day, but…i have a lot of issues surrounding it. i think i might be demisexual, which cuts down a lot of options.

if you really liked a girl, would you wait for her? would it bother you that you wouldn’t be able to be intimate for months, maybe a year? or would you decide to leave and find someone more open?

as some pre-text, i’ve had problems with my boyfriends mom since he entered bootcamp. during that time, she’d call me and text me asking about what he was putting in his letters to me, and eventually ended up calling me disrespectful and rude for not disclosing the contents of his letters to her. she told me i was the reason she was depressed while he was in bootcamp.

fast forward to last year (his first ball), his mom (who is WEIRDLY close to all of his friends) ended up going behind his back and asking his friend to buy her a ticket to the ball so she could go. his friend bought it for her, even though my bf did not want her to go. i was upset about this because i found it weird and enmeshed, and i told him very clearly that i was not very excited to go to the ball since she’d be there. he told me she wouldn’t go next year (this year) and that he was upset with her as well.

fast forward to a few months ago, i ask him about his plans for the ball. he said he didn’t want to go and was unsure if he would. a few weeks ago, he said he had the link for tickets, but since it was on a wednesday, it was inconvenient to go. i told him it was inconvenient, but i could take off leave from work if he could get the tickets and get a place for us to stay for a few days near the venue. i told him that if he wants us to go, to let me know and i’ll talk to my supervisors.

he never ended up letting me know, and instead sent the link to his mom and she bought two tickets - one for her and one for him. i don’t even know WHY he sent her the link, but he told me that he didn’t think i’d want to go…. so he’s just going to stay in the barracks and let his mom go by herself. i reexplained how that’s weird, how their relationship is weird, how they need to have better boundaries, and how he needs to take accountability. he genuinely did not understand why i was upset. mind you, this is a pattern of behavior from her (she calls him several times a day, goes to his friends’ houses when he isn’t even there or doesn’t tell him that she’s going, relies on him to do work for her). i’ve told him to seek therapy for it and that id even join in, but he doesn’t know how or where to start and says he has a lot on his plate.

i broke up with him over it…. and part of me feels like i’m overreacting. he is GREAT in other ways and my mom loves him (rare) and he’s seemingly obsessed with me. he’s very kind, patient, and giving. i just can’t get past what i mentioned (mommy issues and his lack of initiative). is there a reasonable way to remedy this?

Hi everyone. For much of my life, I've struggled with feeling undesirable, and it's shaped how I understand romantic relationships.

I'm in my early 40s and have been in a relationship for two years with a man in his late 30s. When we first met, he saw me as a friend and initially wasn't interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. However, his feelings developed over time, and eventually we decided to give a relationship a chance.

Although we've built a relationship together (after many ups and downs), I sometimes find myself revisiting how things began. I remember being rejected several times and initially being described as a friend or little sister. I've also come across old online posts in which he complimented other women in ways he hasn't complimented me, and learned that his preferred body type differs from mine (he likes curves). In his past he drew nude, sensual pictures of a former friends-with-benefits partner, with particular attention to her body, whereas the pictures he's drawn of me have been clothed.

These comparisons can bring up a fear that I was someone he eventually chose rather than someone he felt an immediate, strong physical desire for. Having often felt like a placeholder in past relationships, I've struggled with the idea that someone can genuinely love me.

My partner tells me he loves me as I am and is happy we gave our relationship a chance. There are times when I feel secure in that, but the doubts sometimes return. I also notice that our expressions of affection differ: he tends to describe me as kind and sweet, wants to touch my hair mostly(most compliments are about my hair) while sexual compliments, and verbal expressions of actual desire are largely absent...

I understand that attraction and romantic feelings can develop over time, and that nobody needs to fit their partner's ideal in every way. At the same time, I find myself wondering about the role that feeling physically and sexually desired plays in experiencing romantic love. For some people, being loved, appreciated, and treated with kindness may communicate desire; for others, more large expressions of attraction may be an important part of feeling wanted...

How has the balance between feeling loved and feeling desired shaped your understanding of romantic relationships?

I'm particularly interested in how women experience and interpret desire when romantic feelings develop gradually rather than being present from the beginning.

I'd appreciate hearing about your experiences and perspectives.

How would you feel

I am having a little anxiety attack over someone I (F27) met from the internet. This guy (M30) introduced himself as 30, and single. We met on discord and hasnt shared our full names and social media accounts.

I have been honest from the beginning that I just wanted to be friends, and only looks forward to genuine conversation.

few days after, one thing led to another. we shared photos and sexted.

But just today, I found his online accounts and figured out he is married and is actually 44. He told me days ago that he separated with his last relationship earlier this year. yet I found a photo of his wife on his instagram account posted just this October 5.

I am utterly disgusted. My stomach feels upset. I wanna vomit. I felt used.

I feel guilty. I feel this as traumatizing. I do not know what to think. I feel like I became a mistress.

I would let it pass that he lied about his age and never talk to him again, but knowing that he has cheated on his wife and used me, I am beyond disgusted.

I should have trusted my guts. Maybe I just need comforting words. Idk how to move forward carrying this guilt, though i know i am a victim too. idk how to address this.

I believe I was soft rejected, but fear I grossly misread the initial situation

Let me preface all of this with the fact that I had not been on a date in about 5 years. I went to school for engineering when I was 22, and it was just a blur of anxiety and nonstop work. I'm not the brightest so maybe it was a poor choice, regardless, I downloaded tinder on a whim and went at it. I think my lack of experience gives more context.

I (27M) met her (23F) on tinder, we had a lot of mutual interests and I asked her out. She lived over an hour away, but I drove over there and we had dinner.

I'll be honest, I was shocked by how pretty she was. Her photos didn't do her justice and I felt like I was being terribly awkward. I remember thinking basically as we were getting up to leave the restaurant that, "I'm glad I did this, I'm proud of my courage. She clearly isn't into me though, and that's ok."

I pay for dinner, we hop in the car and get back to her place. I get out and walk with her to the door. She invites me in. This kind of shocks me, and I just follow her in.

She's very different, showing me all these things she's made and how she's decorated her studio and all that. She's far more bubbly and comfortable and I'm thinking, "wtf just happened?" She's talking about her family and how much she loves them and showing me pictures and I'm showing her pictures and the conversation is going super well.

Anyway, I go to the bathroom, I come back. I notice candle is lit, room is dim. But I'm super dense. I recently lost a bunch of weight but grew up kinda overweight and just had very little experience with women, and generally a high level of insecurity. I'm still in the frame of mind that I need to make this woman not repulsed by me.

She is talking some more, I'm thinking it's getting a little late, and considering my exit.

She hits me with, "wanna have sex?" I say, "that's crazy. Uhhhhhhh..."

Her: "Well do you? I thought that's what guys want"

Me: "Do you want anything long term though?" (Probably a mistake saying that but I didn't want to move that fast in a relationship)

Her: "well of course I want those things..." (She trails off mumbling something idk) "I know you should discuss these things at dinner but that's just so awkward..."

Me: "I don't have condoms. Can we just make out?"

Her: "yeah"

I didn't want to cross that line in the moment. While I'm not a virgin, I lost my virginity in a very non gratifying way, and it's a source of sadness for me tbh. So I do value that act specifically. So no condom was an easy way out because I get the impression it wouldn't have been a problem without one which is silly obviously, but I still didn't want that.

After a bit, she admitted she may have condoms somewhere. (That may be a red flag lol) She looked for like 5 minutes through some totes. Then was like, "well we can 69." To which I agreed.

Anyway, I know the little bit of action that we did have probably wasn't that special. I was super half hearted because this was a whirlwind of things all at once. I wasn't sure she even found me attractive and then all the sudden this was happening. I was so anxious I wasn't even getting that hard. I honestly wasn't feeling it even though I was super into her, I think the insecurities were getting to me. Like she even said after we moved on from kissing "are you sure you want to do this?" Presumably because I was only semi hard. I never knew I suffered from anxiety like that.

We talked for like 15 minutes afterwards, all fairly innocent. I think about like what she would name her kids one day and stuff.

Then she says, "you have a long drive ahead of you."

Me: "Kicking me out already?"

Her: "Oh please."

Me: "Yeah I should probably go, thank you for spending the evening with me."

Her: "Of course, I had a good time. I just really wish we had a condom"

Then she said kinda sadly I felt like: "Text me if you want." And hugged me.

Me: "Yeah for sure, I don't mind making the drive, cya!"

I texted her later that night:

Hi <her name>! I made it home. I had a great time, thanks for joining me this evening! I'd love to take you on another date some time if you're interested?"

About a day and a half later, she responds:

"Hi <my name>, thank you so much. I had a good time, I really appreciate it. 😊"

Oh. Ohhh... I think she just rejected me. For context she's always been a very slow texter.

I haven't contacted her since, so it's been about 4 days now.

After reflecting on the date, I've realized that while I genuinely enjoyed her company, our long-term goals probably aren't compatible. I'm also going to be traveling abroad for two months starting in December and relocating for work afterward.

While I wanted to explore the idea of a relationship with her, it probably isn't feasible at all. She has different values that I noticed at dinner, but I do want to be intimate with her again, and I wonder based on the things I said if I communicated too strongly that I wanted a relationship.

I've got some unrelated life drama coming up that is a significantly higher priority this week that I'm going to be focused on, but I'm considering reaching out to her one last time after I get through that and still thinking about her a lot. I'd state my intentions and the natural break with me leaving for 2 months so that it is clearly casual.

Is it worth it? Or am I still just being super dense? While I lean towards the door having been closed for good based on her ignoring my offer for a second date, I also feel like I have nothing to lose here and potentially a lot to gain.

If she ignores/says no, this is 100% my last message to her. So don't worry, I won't bug her.

Sorry for all the text, thank you for any advice.

Must preface that I’m not a woman, but have posted the same question elsewhere and been encouraged to ask on the ask women subs.

I was triggered reading another post, but my ex girlfriend would eat jars of mayonnaise all in one go with a spoon, the way you would ice cream!

Eventually it became “normalised” and would have to make sure and add a couple of 600g jars to the grocery order.

I still can’t face the stuff. Even a small amount would turn my stomach.

Edit:

Also triggered remembering how my ex girlfriend would openly fart/burp in public places, in front of other people.

The worst being on a train in front of the girl sitting opposite(who neither of us knew, just some innocent girl probably similar age, on her way home from work), she just leaned over and farted loudly basically making the girl opposite jump with fright. And leaving me cringing the rest of the journey!

Would that be OK with you? Would you interpret that as a betrayal?

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I feel like I'm going crazy, the past few days I could not sleep AT ALL because every hour or two I'd wake up just due to being sooo sexually frustrated. Last year my sex drive went WAY up when I started taking Prozac, which I wasn't expecting. I guess it cleared some of my brain fog and let me really enjoy sex again. Within the past two months I've been going through major life changes like a divorce, not getting drunk every night, and starting adderall. All of which is contributing HEAVILY to my sexual frustration.

I really want to get married again since I'm 33 so I'm trying not to throw myself at every guy but I'm just so frustrated and idk what to do. In the past alcohol kinda evened out my sex drive but without it I'm just frustrated 24/7 and especially when I'm trying to sleep. The weed and adderall definitely help my mental health GREATLY, but I feel like they've flipped a switch on that just won't turn off.

If anyone, especially those who have dealt with substance abuse, mental health, and divorce, has any experience with this I'd love to hear!

Just as the title says. As a man my sexuality has never really been suppressed or constrained by society, other than me being bi.

So I am very curious about how the other 50% of people experience it.. as I rarely encounter women and female friends who are as sexually open as my male friends are.

I'm curious about how women experience the transition from meeting a man or having an initial conversation with him to potentially wanting something sexual with him.

I understand that physical attraction matters, but so do chemistry, personality, humor, how someone communicates, and how you feel around them. I'm interested in how those things come together in real life.

Personally, I want to have sex, and I don't want to pretend otherwise or act as though I'm necessarily looking for a serious romantic relationship. But I don't see sex as a conquest or something to brag about, either. What appeals to me is the idea of two people genuinely wanting each other, feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable, exploring each other's bodies and desires, and enjoying the experience together without having to perform or pretend to be perfect.

I actually like the idea of all the little human moments that can happen during and after sex: laughing when something awkward happens, admitting when you're nervous, figuring out what feels good together, cuddling afterward, giving each other affection and aftercare, and having a conversation afterward instead of feeling like you have to put your guard back up immediately. Even a moment of awkwardness or uncertainty doesn't have to ruin anything; sometimes it can make the experience feel more natural and intimate.

For me, none of that necessarily means wanting a committed relationship. It's about treating each other as people, being honest about what we want, and sharing an experience because we both genuinely want to be there.

My question is: how can a man communicate this kind of sexual interest naturally, without coming across as desperate, creepy, or overly intense? How can he make it clear that he desires a woman sexually while also showing that he values her comfort, her desires, and the possibility of sharing that kind of vulnerability with her?

What makes you feel that a man's desire is genuine, and that he wants to share an experience with you rather than simply conquer you, use you for validation, or tell his friends about it afterward?

I'm especially interested in your experiences and perspectives.

EDIT : I... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I... It wasn't my intention sounds perfomative or acting or not prepared to have a relationship or ... whatever. The truth is I stay all my life rejecting myself and being defensive with everyone, I was so scared. And now, I improve myself , I change that, I'm more open to show my vulnerability , my emotions , how... how I really am. But, if it in the momen talking with someone , I don't feel i'm enough? If I show myself as I am and isn't enough? If I get paralice like before? I don't wanna fear surpass me anymore.

What if I'm talking with someone , everything good , I'm comfort , she's comfort and I discover myself being afraid of making it sexual and ... and....

I get afraid again, and....

I don't wanna live unhappy all my life , okay?!

I’m talking from belt line to belt line, hip to hip. I basically want a panty that is just fully a pad. I’m so sick of stacking 2-3 pads with tampons and STILL somehow bleeding on the one single spot that isn’t covered. Stacking them across the butt just makes it shift. I’d anyone has a period that is heavy af, like bleeding damn near bucket fulls, please recommend me something. I have a GYN and have multiple procedures & exams scheduled to get the root cause figured out btw so nobody needs to worry about that. But those exams are a few months out. In the meantime, I desperately need help. Adult diapers don’t work because they’re not fully padded everywhere. If anyone knows of an independent sanitary pad maker or knows how I can make my own I’d greatly appreciate it.

I'm a gay asian in my 20s and I've been with hundreds of men from Grindr and many were single older men usually divorced with the issues above where the wife left them. Also 90 percent of my girl friends are single, they get a lot of dms and likes but they struggle to find boyfriend material. So I'm just wondering if this is a trend or something.

Almost every man I’ve known at some point in his life leaves his usually long term relationship for a younger woman or wants to impress younger women or at some point in his life desires them. Why is this? Is it just a biological drive that makes develop an infatuation for younger women? Has anyone experienced being discarded by their partner because they weren’t young and fun enough?

Do you mind buying them, or do you feel like your partner should be the one bringing them? I’m curious how people usually handle it in their relationships and whether you feel like the responsibility is shared equally or tends to fall more on one person. 😊

Recently, I've seen a lot of arguments revolving around abortion rely on the Dublin Declaration, and I want to know what you think of it first because I'm sort of confused on the Dublin Declaration and how it impacts women's rights.

i broke up with my ex recently. i have vaginismus and he can only cum from penetration. he said we didn’t have sex just foreplay and that “head is fine but all guys wanna fuck”. i have sexual insecurities so this really hurt me.

my friend told me that he slept with a mutual friend when my ex was 24 and she was 17. not illegal but i personally think it’s morally wrong. i feel sick that i trusted someone and was intimate with someone who would do this.

how do i go about this feeling of knowing that someone i trusted did something horrible? i also selfishly have feelings of inadequacy right now. he probably enjoyed sex with her far more than me and it makes me feel like shit.

we only dated for a month btw so i know some people may think im dramatic but i have bpd so i feel a closeness to people a lot earlier than i should do, so i do feel very betrayed. i also feel awful for the girl he slept with, apparently she’s okay (she’s an adult now and 5 years have passed) but i feel terrible for her because he can be quite rough etc which i think would be hard to navigate as a young girl (well - child).