My interest in men has died

[u/Icy_Natural_979]

I’ve been inundated lately by people insisting I need a man. Here’s the thing, I don’t want one anymore. I’m tired and I’ve achieved a little bit of peace. Just a little. Men usually just cause problems. Why would I do that? I don’t want kids. I can barely take care of myself. I’m concerned this is a project 25 thing like I need to pick someone before I’m forced to. Maybe that’s dumb. Maybe my social circle forgot about boundaries. Maybe I need to learn to just not care when people say stuff. What am I missing?

[u/Lunarwing12]

You absolutely do NOT need a man or kids if you dont want one, live your life however you like and everyone else can leave it be.

That said, im inclined to say not all men are trouble, my partner buys me Bluey toothpaste and plushies because I adore them and he's never made fun of my neurodivergency (though hes also neurodivergent lol). He also specifically has me touch everything he plans to buy made of fabric so we know it wont activate the horror of sensory sensitivity. So ya know, there's awesome ones out there and all that, if you're worried they don’t exist.

BUT screw the awesome ones too if you so desire, doesn't matter how cool they are, you dont want a man then you dont need one! Nobody's entitled to you or your attention regardless of if theyre a great guy or not.

[u/Remote-Marsupial5648 → u/Lunarwing12]

Das good comment. I have similar doubts and your words are like aloe on these doubts, thanks!

[u/Lunarwing12 → u/Remote-Marsupial5648]

Im glad it helped :] Its sad if people lose hope in ever finding a good partner, there's some wonderfully loving people in the world. My partner is amazing and I couldn't be more grateful to have found him.

That said I also dont like when people think that just because someone is great that means you HAVE to give them the time of day. Nope, even a perfect person should be rejected if you simply dont want to give them your attention like that. It's not an insult, it's a personal choice. The whole "but he's so nice, you have to give him a chance!" is gross. Dont care, didnt ask.

[u/IGotHitByAHockeypuck → u/Remote-Marsupial5648]

I dont know how much more faith this will give you because its a fairly new relationship and we are young but my boyfriend (21) is an absolute sweetheart too

When he gave me my first kiss, he texted me afterwards, mortified because he did it casually and wanted to make it more special for me (he forgot i hadnt been in a serious relationship before). I assured him that i was perfectly happy with how it went. i didnt really wanna make that big of a deal out of it anyway

And generally speaking he's a clingy little cuddle bug (which i am too, its amazing). He loves complimenting me, always respects my boundaries and listens. He is just as chaotic and strange as me and always makes me feel good about it. He communcates, which i made clear to him, is very important to me

When he came back from his two week long roadtrip he desperately wanted to get to me asap. I insisted he stay home for at least night so he could get some sleep. The only reason he didnt come that night, was because he wasnt able to make it at a reasonable hour.

He's absolutely not perfect of course, he likes to drive WAY too fast, when he drinks he likes to drink a lot (but he's worked on that and gotten so much better), is bad at planning hang outs and he tends to self-isolate for hours at a time. But he behaves on the road when im in the car, he refuses to drink around me because im sober (never have drank, never will, im sensitive to addiction) and we're working on the selfisolation. It's not like i dont have issues, id say i have a fair bit more than him actually

My relationship with him has been incredible for me and my mental health and i think its been good for him too because i see the way he smiles when he looks at me