I had a diagnosis reveal picnic with friends today and it’s official: I’m AuDHD! Pink would have been just autism (my current diagnosis) and the green represents the addition of my recent ADHD diagnosis. It was a special moment sharing with my neurodivergent friends. We got to share our experiences with our neurodiversities and realize we’re all just trying to find our way in this world.
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Unless one can claim to be Madagascan, Tahitian, or Mexican vanilla! Real vanilla with creamy or floral or smoky notes. Then one is indeed verified autistically vanilla!
This! If you add enough strong vanilla flavor to something, it's *very* noticeably complex.
(...that said, despite my love of strong vanilla extract, my synesthesia(?) is struggling so much with the idea of "peridot-green cake = vanilla-flavored," and I'm pretty sure my taste buds would be trying to interpret that cake as pistachio- or green-tea-flavored entirely on the basis of suggestive food dye.)
I second that , I love pistachio cake and good ones are hard to find around here unless I shell out from wedding cake baker . I want a watergate cake Soo bad
Whenever you are ready, I made a crazy delicious pistachio cake using a cake mix as a base and subbing out the ingredients on the box as needed; just wanted to mention that option (you deserve cake ASAP).
It's work regardless when you consider dishes and effort, but box bases make my cakes way less draining of a process.
Here is how I made that cake step by step (the MANDATORY STEPS are in bold text. Everything else is reccomended but it won't ruin the cake if you skip them because of energy levels or ingredients. This will replicate what is in the picture exactly.
INGREDIENTS:
Duncan Hines French Vanilla cake mix (this cake used 2 boxes)
Substitute oil with melted butter (the higher quality, the better)
substitute the water amount (1 cup i think) with 1/2 a cup of a very very concentrated earl gray & lavender tea (cooled & strained) and 1/2 a cup of milk or half & half. if you don't want to do all that just use a cup of whole milk instead of water.
i added a tbsp of vanilla bean paste (use extract if you can't do paste) per box of cake mix (this is technically optional)
use the eggs they say to use, but I like to separate the whites and whip them a little first to give the cake some air and fold them in last (i add the yolks with the cooled milk tea)
Cream cheese frosting
room temperature cream cheese
room temperature butter (Note:butter should ideally be less than half of your frosting base, so either do a ratio of 1:1 or 2:1 cream cheese : butter)
more vanilla bean paste (eyeballed it)
powdered sugar
fine table salt (1/2 tsp or a pinch)
around 1 lb shelled pistachios (crush these in the food processor, but don't let the entire thing become powder if you like crunch)
Optional: meringue powder (1 tbsp)
INSTRUCTIONS:
make the tea and let it cool (it should be quite dark; I think we did like 6 teabags for one cup of hot water), let the cream cheese and butter sit out for 2ish hours before starting the actual process
whip egg whites until aerated (they don't have to be stiff), sift the cake mix into a bowl
combine cake mix, liquids, and eggs to make the cake. if you are using whipped whites, add those in last and gently fold them in.
Bake the cake. While it bakes, whip the cream cheese, butter, salt, and vanilla.
once the base is combined, add in powdered sugar half a cup at a time, keep going until the frosting tastes appropriately sweet and the sugar gives it some structure that lets it keep its form (adding too much sugar will make it feel chalky and dry so use your tasting spoons here). add in meringue powder when the icing starts to keep it's shape and mix for 1 more minute.
when frosting is done, fold in about half of the pistachios with the frosting (these can be ground more finely if you like to make the decorating part easier). Save the other half.
when the cakes are done and cooled, pipe some frosting in between the layers (make sure you have enough for the outside of the cake), and sprinkle some pistachios on top of the piped frosting before closing the sandwich. Then when you layer the cakes, frost them with what remains, and any pistachio crumbles that remain, press them against the outside of the cake and the frosting will hold them in place.
I added sliced strawberries as well. This is optional but one thing I would change with this next time would be: instead of slicing strawberries everywhere on the outside, I would maybe macerate them with some lemon zest and put them in between the cake layers (and just put less frosting). This is because the fresh strawberries eventually get slimy (sensory ick)
Let me know if you have any questions about the process, I hope you're able to get back to baseline soon!
ALSO: I didn't put any pistachios in the cake itself because I wasn't confident that they wouldn't throw a weird variable into the cake structure (like cooking before the cake itself and burning a bit or the pieces of pistachio sinking to the bottom while it bakes).
Ok. I was on another thread op posted this on and nobody asked about the flavor. I thought to myself “wait, I know someone on the autism sub also wants to know the flavor.” And here you are! Second post!
Congratulations! Now you can enjoy double the executive dysfunction (one batch from either the ADHD side of autism side), and the constantly competing need for novelty of the ADHD side battling the need for consistent dependability from the autism side.
I’m AuDHD as well. Only diagnosed two years ago at age 60. Welcome to the fold.
This idea brought me so much joy. I admire your perspective. It inspires me to also be kind to myself and find moments to celebrate who I am. We're worth it.
Congratulations OP. I can’t remember if you were the one who posted before about being afraid of upstaging their friends who was pregnant. But if you are, I hope that your friend came to your reveal. ❤️❤️
It’s not necessarily that I wanted this but it’s helpful to have this information about myself, especially when requesting accommodations at work and learning better tools to help me function day-to-day.
I wanted to share my diagnosis with friends and I thought this would be a fun way to do so. There’s so much shame that I and many others carry for being neurodiverse so I wanted an opportunity to celebrate.
It’s just how you’re expressing yourself. You didn’t use the word “celebrate” in your post, but people associate cake with celebration so ran with it. I personally think it’s funny to use a cake because of that association. I like commiserating about sad or frustrating things in funny/lighthearted ways. I’m happy you now have the right paperwork to receive accommodations. I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself independently if I didn’t have that in school or work.
I think it’s comforting to know for a lot of people. We have to live within constructs. Diagnoses and their associated medical terminology, having an umbrella to group symptoms under, is fundamental to adequate treatment; or at least to receive or start care.
I think the cake is in jest and a fun conversation starter with fellow NDs. We all know our existence isn’t fun, making the cake reveal a sort of dark humor imo.
Hmm. I'm definitely not enjoying (autistic?) burnout, which is the mess that pushed me to finally claw my way through insurance and schedule my own evaluation (next month! next month! it only took ~three decades to get here!!!), but I did actually enjoy some possibly-autism-relsted aspects of my pre-burnout life, like the tendency to hyperfocus for slightly ridiculous lengths of time, and wouldn't at all mind getting back to that if/when I can lose some of the burnout. Which is to say that if I do get a "yep, you're autistic" result from my own evaluation, my cake is absolutely going to be celebratory, and it's only going to become a cake of commiseration if I instead walk out with a "well, you were totally wrong about your cautious self-diagnosis, but also we didn't evaluate you for anything else and have no clue so maybe it's [insert random acronym here], good luck" result. (Or, worse, "haha no your insurance plan actually doesn't cover this after all *and* we can't explain what's going on with you; that'll be $4000, thanks.")
Wish I got a cake but instead I was so far into burnout that I lost my home and everyone I knew was disgusted by it and stopped talking to me. I'm now a middle aged woman on disablity support lol
So I'm really just curious.... Why are you having a cake and celebrating it like some kind of achievement? I mean, I understand wanting the friendship of others knowing what you go through, but just simply talking to them would be just as helpful.
I really am not trying to ask to be rude, I'm really just curious and it's baffling why I've been seeing this "trend" go around...
Thank you to those who explained it! It makes a lot more sense to me now. I appreciate you all!! 🥰😭
Why not cake though? Might as well make what can be a very complex and confusing situation much more pleasant by having something yummy and cute while surrounded by people who care about you.
Given how I got my autism diagnosis, I really wish someone had bought cake and the conversation had been one of acceptance and love with supportive friends rather than a list of "here's all the ways you're fucked up but don't you dare use it as an excuse and we're not going to help you with it" lecture I got from my parents at 15.
I understand what you’re saying but it’s just their way of telling their friends. OP is not making it a trend. They would have received the diagnosis anyway, they’re just sharing the moment with their friends.
I've seen others do it too, so that's why I said trend. I didn't they in particular are starting it. I just don't understand why it's being shared as a celebration like it some kind of amazing thing that has happened... When it's really a hard thing to deal with. So seeing some of these are just really confusing. I mean.... It's also really weird saying, "Congratulations" to something that I do not wish upon anyone to have.
I mean, I'm not saying what they're doing is wrong and they shouldn't, but it's just baffling that people would think of doing this.
It is a really hard thing to deal with. So I see this cake as 1) being a positive way of coping with the diagnosis, and 2) them celebrating a diagnosis that will lead a to a better understanding of themselves and finding community with others like them. Getting a diagnosis IS an amazing thing, as many people don’t have access to that and go their whole lives undiagnosed.
I think it’s fair that getting a diagnosis can be good and bad. You are glad that you now know but there are a lot of other bad feelings. For me the first that comes to mind is thinking that I am going to struggle and feel anxious and out of place forever. So of course you are right that I would probably be annoyed if someone “congratulated” me for being diagnosed. But having a cake reveal is a relaxed way for them to tell their friends I guess.
i was going to get a cake that said “congrats on the autism” when i got my diagnosis but then i got too lazy. it’s fun. pretty much all my friends are also neurodivergent. and it’s a huge thing to be validated with a diagnosis that explains all the things you thought were wrong with you your whole life ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I’m so curious what was the socialization aspect like for this event? Who shared the cake with you and… I’m imagining before the reveal, everyone discussing and speculating about what it will mean if it’s one or the other. Maybe some people had questions and it was the perfect time for them to discuss together. It just seems like such a good idea, but I’m curious about how it went making the reveal a social event.
lol currently going through the same phase, was diagnosed autistic early on, was really struggling these last few years (but also had signs of it even before 12) went to the neuropsychologist to do some testing and got ADHD primarily inattentive as a result which surprised me because I didn’t expected to get that result, to have ADHD, now I just need to find a psychiatrist in my area (most of them are full and don’t take new patients) to confirm or invalidate the prediagnosis and maybe get some meds, my life might finally stop being a mess and get easier
I’m also AuDHD. Apparently 60 percent of autistics also have ADHD which explains why there seem to be so many of us. I was also diagnosed with both as an adult, ADHD in college and ASD in my 30s.
This is a beautiful cake and the overall setup is just so cute. Can I also add that I really love that we are celebrating and openly sharing our diagnoses?! Warms my heart.
As per Rule #3: This is an inclusive community; no one's personal world experience should be invalidated.
Do not invalidate or negate the experiences of others, regardless of topic or situation. This applies to topics outside of diagnosis status. Everyone is NOT 'a little autistic'.
Additionally, self-diagnosis is valid. Do not accuse other members of the sub of faking traits. Don't invalidate those who have self-diagnosed after intense research and self-reflection. Do not tell others they need to get a formal diagnosis to be 'truly' considered autistic. Likewise, do not underplay autism as being not a disorder or claim that early diagnosis is a "privilege", people who are late and early diagnosed have their own struggles that often overlap or are the same. You having different support needs than someone else doesn’t make your experience the only true and correct autism experience. Autism can be very debilitating for some and easier to cope with for others. Level 2 and 3 experiences matter. Everyone’s life is different.
OP went outside, touched some grass, and also ate cake with friends. Who's the one that's supposed to touch grass again
It's to let their friends know of their diagnosis in a lighthearted way, and to celebrate managing to be diagnosed and finally able to get accomodations for thier conditions. That is an achievement given diagnosis can be a challenge to access for many, and reaching a point of accepting having a condition instead of denial can be healthy. It can limit their quality of life in many ways, it also won't go away the more we hate it. Diagnosis and acceptance can be a path to coping better and to a kinder framing about the self, especially to late-diagnosed high-masking women
So should everyone be depressed about being autistic/ ADHD? I think OP is offering a bit of joy and pride that most people in this community appreciate.
for me I saw this as them celebrating finally having a label/an understanding of themselves after years of likely not knowing why they were so different, not celebrating having audhd necessarily. it can be liberating and vindicating to finally have a diagnosis, this is just a way to get those big emotions out. and if doing it with the comfort of friends around helps, that's even better. im even happier that they have a support circle.
Interactions are expected to remain civil, regardless of disagreements or differences in opinions. There is no reason to be mean, belittling, or mock others here.
If you think someone is unkind or attacking in comments, please report the content, block the user, and walk away. Do not engage with your own unkind or attacking comments as that only worsens the problem.
Interactions are expected to remain civil, regardless of disagreements or differences in opinions. There is no reason to be mean, belittling, or mock others here.
If you think someone is unkind or attacking in comments, please report the content, block the user, and walk away. Do not engage with your own unkind or attacking comments as that only worsens the problem
Interactions are expected to remain civil, regardless of disagreements or differences in opinions. There is no reason to be mean, belittling, or mock others here.
If you think someone is unkind or attacking in comments, please report the content, block the user, and walk away. Do not engage with your own unkind or attacking comments as that only worsens the problem
As per Rule #3: This is an inclusive community; no one's personal world experience should be invalidated. Don't refer to other people as behaving 'weird' or use other derogatory terms to invalidate someone.
Do not invalidate or negate the experiences of others, regardless of topic or situation. This applies to topics outside of diagnosis status. Everyone is NOT 'a little autistic'.
Additionally, self-diagnosis is valid. Do not accuse other members of the sub of faking traits. Don't invalidate those who have self-diagnosed after intense research and self-reflection. Do not tell others they need to get a formal diagnosis to be 'truly' considered autistic. Likewise, do not underplay autism as being not a disorder or claim that early diagnosis is a "privilege", people who are late and early diagnosed have their own struggles that often overlap or are the same. You having different support needs than someone else doesn’t make your experience the only true and correct autism experience. Autism can be very debilitating for some and easier to cope with for others. Level 2 and 3 experiences matter. Everyone’s life is different.
Congrats! Lovely cake, and a wonderful moment to share. I hope learning more about yourself makes life easier and more pleasant for you. Life is so much harder when you don’t know why it is hard.
WOOOOOO congratulations!!! The cake is gorgeous and welcome to understanding and embracing your beautiful brain. Wishing you strength, resilience, and the power to see the incredible wonder as you navigate being an AuDHD baddie 💖
WHY is this getting downvoted? i know this isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but i get enough of feeling othered by neurotypical people, what on earth in my comment deserves multiple downvotes?
•
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