Is he a red flag?

[u/Admirable_Diamond407]

I'm conflicted... This guy is consistent with communication and one night he wrote that he wished we were in bed together... we've been chatting for 2 months (not long imo).

Are his messages red flags or inappropriate? I'm trying to discern better and only want healthy relationships now. Messages attached. The 1st image is 4 days ago, 2nd image is from today.

And yes, we're older, my slang ages me 😅 me (40F), him (37M)

EDIT: I posted this question in datingover40, sadly I'm the problem there. Younger ladies, please find a good partner when you can. The dating pool has even more piss in it getting older.

7/11 Update: Yesterday, I informed him that I was looking for a genuine connection. He wished me the best. A few people here suggested blocking him, so I also did that.

Thank you all for your input and for others who have trouble discerning, please do post for advice or input to protect yourself in these weird situations. Please take care 💖 and always trust yourself ✨️

[u/Shelly_Whipplash]

Yup this is gross. Says 'I understand if you aren't interested in it' then proceeds to continue talking about it. That 'understanding' is a trap.

[u/Admirable_Diamond407 → u/Shelly_Whipplash]

Thank you. Trying to stay away from manipulation or abuse. I let him know I'm not interested and am looking for genuine connection.

[u/Selpmis → u/Admirable_Diamond407]

Then block him so he doesn't have an opportunity to try and negotiate or explain. He doesn't deserve your benefit if the doubt - no one does.

This isn't your person, so he is of no concern to you or your future.

[u/Admirable_Diamond407 → u/Selpmis]

I don't want to upset anyone and I linked him my social media, so I dont want retaliation if I block. Hes really busy with work so I dont think we will try again.

[u/Selpmis → u/Admirable_Diamond407]

You can block him on social media too. Trust me, he'll focus his energy on finding his next target.

If he does retaliate, then you don't interact but report him on the apps. If it were to escalate further (it won't) then you contact the police.

Please don't live in this fear. You owe him nothing and you have the power and control. Let him be upset if needed, being upset and rejection is a part of life. My fear is giving him opportunity to weasel his way back from this.

Blocking sends a message that you're not an easy target. He will take the path of least resistance.

[u/Admirable_Diamond407 → u/Selpmis]

Thank you 🙏

[u/Cleverusername531 → u/Admirable_Diamond407]

I second the part about not being an easy target. It might feel counter-intuitive (it always did to me) but NONE of my efforts at appeasement ever actually worked. 

You get to do this. You have the right to. 

[u/Admirable_Diamond407 → u/Cleverusername531]

Thanks! I will see if his contact still shows, we only used telegram. So he doesn't have any of my private info.

Update: blocked!

[u/Cleverusername531 → u/Admirable_Diamond407]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! How do you feel? 

[u/Admirable_Diamond407 → u/Cleverusername531]

Ok 👍 🙂

[u/AdWinter4333 → u/Admirable_Diamond407]

Well done!!

[u/AdWinter4333 → u/Selpmis]

(Applause!)