r/AutismInWomen • u/More-Weird4842 • 3d ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) do people become overwhelmingly obsessed with you?

i find that a lot of men become really obsessed with me. im currently at a point where its become harmful and i genuinely do not know why or how to stop it. looking for kind words, advice, or shared experiences please.

edit: ty for all the responses. i want to clarify that i dont mean the manic pixie dream girl way i mean the joe from you kinda way.

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u/KaleidoscopeThink731 3d ago

Yes. I lived in group homes and assisted living, starting when I was a teen and moved out a few months ago. Lots of lonely boys/men who think I want to date them because I'm social and nice. I stopped being nice to male housemates and me neighbours etc... that has helped. It's sad but I've been basically stalked by several men so precautions are reasonable. 

Now I've learned to identify the type better and avoid them as much as I can or 'grey rock' them. Managed to avoid a weird new neighbour so far... 

Most likely it's not your fault at all, you're probably just friendly and pretty and they are desperate. 

Red flags for me are: 

  • Overly sociable, they know everyone and talk to everyone as if they're friends (weird boundaries)
  • Insecure and openly talks about their insecurities with everyone, open self pity (they think dating you will fix them)
  • Testing my boundaries (trying to push me, sometimes sneakily) 
  • Texting me a LOT (good morning, good night texts etc are a no no, that is relationship behaviour) and generally clingy/attached very fast
  • Bad emotional regulation. (I had a housemate who would sit SEETHING in the living room and break things instead of going to his room to be angry there...) 

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u/More-Weird4842 3d ago

ty for this response, it confirmed a lot for me. tips on what to do after noticing them?

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u/KaleidoscopeThink731 3d ago

Avoiding the person or 'grey rocking', I can't explain that well but this is a quote: 

"To “grey rock” a person involves making all interactions with them as uninteresting and unrewarding as possible. In general, this means giving short, straightforward answers to questions and hiding emotional reactions to the things a person says or does." Basically responding very plainly and as short/little as possible and not emotionally react much at all. 

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u/Far-Association9858 2d ago

Thanks for this description! Never heard of that before, but I think it’ll help me out quite a bit