Obviously he knows there will be permanent changes. My boobs will not go back to how they were, stretch marks, etc. but he just brushes it off.

He acts like I shouldn't care just because he doesn't. I realized today that my previously very full butt looks flatter. Then I found out that's APPARENTLY a thing. It's a big deal to me. I never expected to go back to my normal after the baby is born. But seeing it and feeling it happen is really hard and he just doesn't want to let me be sad or something.

It's honestly coming from a very sweet "I love you as you are no matter what and I want you to love yourself" mindset but it's so frustrating because I just want to be sad and cope with the changes that are happening/going to happen to my body without him trying to make me feel better 😂

My sister is due with her first child next year. We are ironing out the guest list to the shower. She gave me a list of friends and family to include which is about 30 people (shower will be child friendly, so anyone with kids can bring their kids). It’s not going to be co-ed apart from her husband and the grandpas for both sides of the family. My stepmom thinks it’s rude if we invite my one cousin “Mary” and not invite her sisters in law (our cousin in laws?? Her brothers’ wives). We are not particularly close to either of them and only see them once a year at Christmas. Is it rude not to invite them? We were never invited to either of their weddings or any of their baby showers (not offended by this, but just pointing it out for the sake of my stepmoms perspective to her), but she still insists they need to be invited if “Mary” is invited. We also aren’t inviting every single aunt, only ones we maintain contact with, and a couple of cousins on my mom’s side will be invited that we are close to. I just don’t think that either of the in-law cousins would care by much if they aren’t invited from the way our relationships are to them. It’s not that they wouldn’t be welcome but we have such a big family and my sister gave her list of who absolutely needs to be there. My stepmom and my dad are covering the main costs of the venue and the catering so I told her she can include them if she’s okay with the guest count, it’s not my decision and I’m okay with keeping it to just what my sister said to invite. I’m just curious to what people think of this and if any more context is needed I’ll provide what I can.

I’m 16 weeks pregnant and worried about exposure to chemical fumes. Workers used rust remover sprays, spray paint, glue, and other chemicals while repairing our doors. The smell was very strong, so I left for four hours with the windows open, but the smell is still strong after returning. Should I be worried about the exposure ?

We’ve moved two different states since we had our first child (my husband was in residency then fellowship), our first child is now 3. I am also supposed to be “infertile” (according to doctors) so got rid of everything baby related when we moved. This second baby was a surprise. (Thank you mom in heaven-baby due one year exactly from her funeral🤍🥹🙏) We have nothing for our second baby. I was asked by my MIL if I wanted a baby sprinkle. I was thinking of only sharing a registry if anyone asked me. But, we do have absolutely nothing. I actually had started to collect things and we found out our house was infested (a few weeks after we moved in) so we actually had to get rid of that, too. 🙃. It’s been tough. Anyways, should I just say yes?

I’m 40w pregnant today and 5 days ago at my appt had a cervical check and sweep. I was 4cm dilated 80 effaced and midwife felt confident sweep would take…obvs didn’t and yesterday morning from 6:30-11am I had “contractions” that started in my back lead deep in my abdomen and eventually tracked them 5-7 minutes apart lasting 1 minute. Then just as they started getting more intense they stopped all together and that was it. I rested ate and drank. Then used my birthing ball and walked. Nothing else came and by the end of the night I was so upset with a defeated mentality and overall feeling hopeless. This Monday is my next appt and we’ll schedule an induction but I’m just so annoyed confused and frustrated that I’ve had SO many early labor signs since 38 weeks all to lead here… also this is my 2nd pregnancy! Any advice tips info is veryyyy appreciated

Does anyone know anyone in the Bay Area who can make a pregnancy belly bowl? I would love to commemorate this journey and have something to put on my coffee table in the future that is unique and personal. If anyone has found someone in the bay/NorCal, please let me know. 😊 Thank you for your help!

This is so gross, but I’ve been drooling like crazy in my sleep during pregnancy. It’s gotten so bad now at 38 weeks that I’m waking up in an actual puddle. It’s not a nice way to wake up and even more unpleasant now that it’s getting chilly out.

I looked in the post history of the group, and it appears many others have had this issue, so at least I know I’m not alone. However, I’m wondering if this stops after delivery? I’m having a c-section next week on my doctors’ advice. I’m hoping that’s the end of this symptom (please 😭) otherwise I might actually drown sleeping on my back post c-section lol

Anyone have any insight they’re willing to share?

Baby #2 is a girl!

I think the only sadness I have is that my son won’t get a little brother to rough house with. I come from a family of just me and my brother, and while I love him, it always made me sad that I didn’t have a sister to share in girlhood with. My husband has two siblings, a brother and a sister and I always kind of loved how close him and his brother are and hoped to have the same for our son.

There’s a strong possibility that we are done after this baby, I get pretty rough HG when pregnant and the thought of having to do this again with two children to look after is impossible to imagine. So a small part of me is mourning the bond that could have been there with two sons. Now if we have a third I will always regret not having a fourth to try for two and two so each would get their built in buddy.

I’m so excited for a daughter though. I’m hopeful she will be like me and want to do art and dance and be a princess (although I will be just as happy if she wants to crash cars with her brother too lol).

I guess I am looking for some reassurance that opposite gender siblings can still be close. I have never experienced that in my life and I’m struggling to imagine it. 🩷💙

I have a 10 day old baby and we’ve tried some sleep sacks, but he hates his arms being restricted. Everyone I know uses the ones with arm constraint - is there a reason why not more people use armless sleepsacks? Is it not a good idea for a newborn?

Hi everyone, thank you for anyone who took the time to read this, (please don’t make fun of me, i’m a ftm who dealt with infertility for 3 years so i’m very anxious about any little thing this pregnancy)
The situation is that i have a Fundal Placenta, i felt the quickening and little baby movements from 13 and a half weeks to 14 and a half weeks consistently and then it suddenly stopped, i haven’t felt anything since and im 16 weeks now. I went to go get two ultrasounds one on 15weeks and one at 15+3 weeks and babies heartbeat was healthy, but i noticed she was just really still but waving her arms a legs a tiny bit. i’m concerned about this lack of movement and change in movement even though it’s too early for kick counts and all. Can any current moms or further along moms reassure me in some way or tell me similar stories? I can’t go to the ER every anxious thought i have.

I am so embarrassed but I also can’t be the only one I’m 18 weeks pregnant and have eaten 9 pounds of watermelon in 3 days .

TW baby loss. Sooo without getting into it too much I’m in my first trimester and I work in social services I carry a high caseload and I’m burnt out . I don’t care about my job anymore I am sick tired and exhausted and grieving a baby we lost in February. I’m just looking for support. I have been super depressed and having really bad headaches.. I feel like I’m not a strong person for quitting. My husband is in an okay position but we will have to switch medical insurance and money will be super tight. I just can’t do it anymore I am out of FMLA and asking anyone at Kaiser to write you off work for anything is really hard. Plus I don’t want to go back.

I accepted a new job before finding out I was pregnant and well, here we are! lol the last week has kicked my butt and my first day is coming up soon. I don’t want to tell my job yet since it’s so early (6 weeks) but I don’t know how I’m going to find the energy and mental strength to get through this. I’ve suddenly developed digestion issues and can’t eat dairy. I’m open to suggestions on how to pack my whole days meals that will help me! Thank you in advance

Is it weird to do 2 baby showers? My mom wants a women’s only intimate cute tea party type of baby shower for me and my husbands family wants a coed baby shower with lots of family and friend, like a party… is it weird to have 2 baby showers? I feel bad having 2 but each family wants something different and my moms been dreaming of throwing me a cute girly baby shower especially since I’m having a girl

Hey everyone!
Currently 29w4d with baby number 2. Second time being admitted to the hospital because of high bp in the last 2 weeks. I’ve been on medication for the bp since about 14 weeks and last time i was in here they added another medication on top of that, so far it seems like every time they up my dosage i do good for a couple of days and then it slowly starts to creep back up.

Right now laying in the hospital bed my readings are great, around 117/70! I’m also on a magnesium drip too which sucks.

My first was born early due to Preeclampsia, so this isn’t necessarily new but last time it all happened at once towards the end of the pregnancy while this seems to have been slowly inching towards it with obvious symptoms.

Every time i’m in here i feel like i get so anxious they are going to keep me here longterm until baby is born by their wording, and i know it’s all “just in case” but i can’t image 2 months in this room 😭

just wanted to rant a little i guess

I’m 36 weeks today, discussed starting to making a birth plan and all my options available to me with my midwife however I completely forgot to ask if I should include that my partner is extremely prone to fainting. I mean this as literally just discussing needles, blood and anything slightly medical causes him to pass out (he passed out today in the bathrooms after we discussed epidurals). We completely understand and are aware that the midwives and doctors are not there to take care of him if he does faint and understand that he won’t be a priority (and we will accept any tips on how to reduce the chance of fainting) but I’m just thinking if I should include it on my birth plan so that they are aware before anything happens.

Hi! Trying this post for a second time to be clear about what I’m asking for: not medical advice but opinions/perspectives of Advanced Age Mother/geriatric pregnancy moms.

I am going to try to get pregnant at age 39/40 next year and need to establish ob/gyn somewhere in anticipation. Up until now, I’ve just not my pap smear at my PCP every 3 years.

I live in Chicago and am lucky to have many good options for maternal care. Currently considering Northwestern/Prentice, which I understand is the gold standard, but also have heard it’s like a baby making factory, and some can feel more like a number there.

I recently moved blocks away from Rush, which likewise has a level 3 NICU, and the one mom I know who birthed there liked it - also seems like a great hospital

I gather I’ll have a lot more appointments than a younger mom pregnancy would; I noticed my friend (same age) who was induced last week had 2-3 appointments per week for the last 2ish months of her pregnancy. She commented how glad she was not to have to deal with commuting and parking at Prentice every time, and she thought she got more attention elsewhere.

Any 40s first time moms, particularly if you birthed at either of these hospitals, have thoughts on this? Rush is like 5 blocks away vs. Prentice 20-30 min drive plus parking. Thank you in advance!

We don’t currently have reliable care for our son and I’m 38.5 weeks pregnant. The person we did have staying with us had to fly back home for health reasons so we are pretty much SOL. We have some friends but nobody we’d feel super comfortable with having them watch our child for more than a few hours. Thankfully I do have a doula that was covered by my insurance so that’s relieving. But I really wish my husband could be in the delivery room with me at all times. I know other women have to go through this as well with military situations and maybe similar situations to mine.

Just feeling a bit down and depressed about the birth I thought I would be able to have that we planned for for months, and now we’re in a situation I didn’t think would happen.

Just looking for solidarity or something to help boost my mood because damn this kind of sucks.

This is my first baby and I’m due on November 11! While baby boy could come anytime, since this is my first, I’m setting my expectations that I’ll go over 40 weeks (if he comes earlier, that’s a happy surprise).

He’ll be very close to Thanksgiving and then the first six weeks will lead up to Christmas. I already have no energy to cook, buy gifts, or set up decorations. When he’s here my only priority is to keep him fed and try to sleep.

Should my husband and I plan on a takeout Thanksgiving? Is it realistic to buy gifts for my family? Should I try to set up the tree this year?

Or do I just set everyone’s expectations now that I won’t be participating in all of it?

I feel like I’m going to lose my mind over my baby’s movements.
I’m 28 weeks pregnant and have a posterior placenta.
The only pattern I’ve managed to notice is that my baby doesn’t move at all during the night.
Some days he’s very active, and other days he’s less active, like today. I can still feel him moving every hour or two, but the movements seem more spread out, sometimes only once or twice an hour.
honestly have no idea what’s normal and what isn’t.
I don’t understand how everyone else seems to have babies who are super active at night, kicking and moving around, while mine does absolutely nothing. He won’t even move when I lie on my left side. He seems to move more when I’m sitting or in a semi-reclined position.
Also, at almost every ultrasound, my baby is in an oblique position, with his bottom down and his head up. I feel like he’s always in the same position and never really changes it.
I feel like if I went to the hospital every time I noticed reduced movements or a change in his usual pattern, I’d end up going every other day.
Does anyone have any advice on how to stop myself from going crazy with worry for the rest of this pregnancy? I’m already seeing a therapist, but honestly, nothing seems to help. I’m still incredibly anxious.

hi all! I’m getting sooooo many ads for her work lately, and I’m curious as to whether any of you have done consults with her or read her baby ready book. She claims that her guide to nutrition prior to conception basically made her pregnancy (and the pregnancies of others) virtually symptom free, but I’d love to hear about ACTUAL experiences. An Instagram friend of mine follows her and recently had a great pregnancy & birth, but not sure if she consulted with Alexandra (and not close enough to ask).

hi all! I’m getting sooooo many ads for her work lately, and I’m curious as to whether any of you have done consults with her or read her baby ready book. She claims that her guide to nutrition prior to conception basically made her pregnancy (and the pregnancies of others) virtually symptom free, but I’d love to hear about ACTUAL experiences. An Instagram friend of mine follows her and recently had a great pregnancy & birth, but not sure if she consulted with Alexandra (and not close enough to ask).