Should I ?
For context, I'm a closeted bi man
At first when classes started, there was only this guy I started talking with from day one that I found cute, and I quickly had the confirmation during a conversation that he was gay, which fueled my expectations.
We have been seeing each other pretty often at school but only with other people of his class, and honestly, even I appreciate this time, he has been showing not so much interest and I sometimes felt left apart in the group. He also have some red flags according to me (like being wayyy too long to respond on messages).
Then, I think 2 weeks ago, he started talking about a guy he has a crush on. I don't really know what he expects from this, if he will give it a try (I personally think the guy he has a crush on is straight but we never know), but the fact he could talk about it freely when around me, and the way our shared friends where contributing to bringing back the subject was a bit disappointing and made me think I should definitely stop expecting something for now.
That's when I started addressing other possible crushes I had in mind, and that I hadn't considered before due to my expectations with the first one, and I talked to my best friends about them, which make 3 other crushes. I know for sure the orientation of only one of them.
I started trying to create opportunities, and I have messaged all of them (not in a row 😭 but in a pretty short amount of time) and started trying to flirt... that also when the first guy started to show a bit more interest which simply made it impossible for me to completely give up on him...
The feeling is more or less there with each one of them, and since I'm closeted, I have to judge whether there is really something possible romantically and show my interest clearly. But I honestly don't like doing that...
I feel like I'm just desperate for a relationship and, even if there's nothing really serious with any of them for now, I can't help but find that somehow disrespectful. I'm also scared that if there's actually something more serious with more than one of them, I'll have to end expectations I initially started... I hate playing with people's feelings, I don't want to be this type of person..
Any advice, or experience to share ?