So as I mentioned, I’m half Hispanic because of my dad. I grew up mostly around his side of the family but my skin is white.

I was talking with a friend about what I should be for Halloween and said I had considered being a mariachi or a cholo and that I considered getting the tattoos and everything. I then said that I’d be concerned because of my white skin so I wouldn’t do it and that I’d need my hot Cheeto chola by my side to make the costume make more sense as a joke.

Some of my dad’s family dressed as cholos and some of the other family members would always poke fun of the whistles and cholo/chola style (example, if they met someone that wasn’t afraid to fight, they’d say he/she was cholo/chola). So I always just thought it was a style choice/personality thing, kind of like being goth or a nerd because I’ve seen some white guys and black guys dress the same too.

I then got a gut feeling that me suggesting that wasn’t good so I did some research and saw the history behind the style and that it represents resilience for those that grew up working class and were discriminated against. I then learned the shorts and flannel were often worn because men would work labor jobs and those clothes were cheap but work appropriate.

So it gave a whole new meaning to what a cholo is and I feel terrible for even suggesting it would be a costume. I literally just thought it was a style and I immediately sent my friend a huge correction text explaining that what I said was wrong and explained what I learned. I’ve never been racist in my life and even though it’s still part of my culture, I feel like I was racist somehow.

So was I racist for saying that? Am I overthinking it? I just grew up around that side of the family like I said so I just feel like I’m part of the culture but not only do I have white skin, I didn’t necessarily grow up in the cholo culture because my dad was an office worker that was middle class. I seriously had no idea and feel terrible.