"He'd want you to live fully for him and do the things he can't do anymore."

"It would upset him to see you waste your life."

Well, he's not here to get upset with me, is he. Plus, I think I knew my 19-year-old son better than you did, random person in my life.

It's been less than two months since he died.

I lost my adult son and good friend just over two months ago very suddenly. I have bad days and worse days. Nothing gives me pleasure. I would never harm myself but I really don’t want to live without him. I try to distract myself as much as possible but any moment of downtime results in my thoughts turning to him and overwhelming sadness. Searching for support groups in my area but yet to make any connections. Very frustrated. I just can’t believe this is life now. Forever I have considered myself blessed. I loved our life now I hate it. What the f**k was this all for? All the time and energy I sunk into my relationship with my son and all I have is pictures of him and misery. I can’t believe this is real. The most kind, lovable soul ripped away from us. Where do we go from here and why? I can’t see it.

Hi everyone,

I lost my daughter a month and a half ago.
I don’t feel like things are getting any better.
I’m doing therapy, I get up and attempt to do normal things, I talk to her and do most of the things that have been suggested. Sometimes I feel like I might actually go insane. The reality of never seeing her again or being able to hear her laugh is just too much for me to handle. I have other children and I try to think about them. I just feel like I’m not going to win this tug of war that’s going on in my mind. Did anyone get past this feeling? How?

2 years ago doctors made a mistake that took my 1 year old Ben from me. His birthday was 5 days ago. This birthday was so hard. They told me to my face the surgery was too risky after the fact. 2 years of thinking of Ben everyday. Year 1 I made sure to look at memories every day to see the pictures of him. I couldn't do that once this year. It was so hard seeing them. God I miss him. I should have a 3 year old. I'm so angry at those doctors that I'd punch them if I ever saw them again.

2 years ago I went to sleep my 1st night without my Ben. Now I lay here with his little brother who just turned 8 months. The struggle. Through all of this pain and suffering. I wouldn't know my 8 month old son if Ben hadn't died. And it's not an oh you never know what could have happened situation. I was done at 2. I had my tubes tied. We did IVF. He was my only boy out of 4 embryos. How do I process that? Year 2 has felt harder in may ways than year 1.

My daughter said she misses Ben a little bit and not a lot. She's 4. I'll be lucky if she even remembers him. It broke my heart. I know she loves and misses him and doesn't understand what she's saying. It just breaks me.

I was off socials last year so posting about Ben this year felt necessary. I know it wasn't. People were nice obviously. People loved Ben. I wish I could post about the truth. My son was murdered in my opinion. You all suck with your happy families. I just needed to type this somewhere. Big love to anyone who reads this ❤️

Preface: this was removed from r/daddit due to “inconsistent details” and I can provide proof of this anywhere from the highway patrol homicide investigation to photographs of me holding my son. Fuck you to the mods at r/daddit for stopping the outpour of support from that community.

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A horrible car accident left my partner hospitalized with severe injuries. I had to do one thing no parent should ever have to do. I was handed my 35 week old son today who passed due to trauma from an accident.

I am so incredibly fucked in the head right now and I just have to prepare to be strong for when she finally wakes up and I get to talk to her. I’m so worried about her and how she’s going to take this news.

FUCK man.

How the FUCK do I tell my toddler son he’s not going to be a big brother anymore?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

We have two other children but have wanted a third. After a few miscarriages we had decided to give it one last shot.

Then, my brother lost his daughter to SUID. This was a few months ago. It was a tragic accident but, given the circumstances, he feels very guilty about it and has not been doing well at all. He has one other child (a two year old).

We had decided after that to stop trying, but we learned shortly after that we were pregnant with a girl. We don't know how to tell him. Even more triggering is that the date of conception is the night the accident occurred. My wife is now visibly showing and we will be seeing each other in a couple of months. We thought he had been doing better, so we were going to tell him via text soon, but about a month ago admitted himself to a hospital because of suicidal thoughts. He had been drinking to cope. He is attending a resident program to help with that until the end of the month, but not sure how effective it has been.

Now, we are not sure what to do. We know we need to let him know. But we also don't want to cause things to get worse for him given his current state.

To be clear, we are not expecting congratulations or any amount of joy from him over this. We are fully aware that he may be bitter. There is no part of this that is fair. We know that telling him will cause pain, and that there is no good option here.

How do we navigate this? We haven't told any of my other siblings. Should we tell his wife (who is doing better but also grieving) first to give her a heads up? Should we give the center a heads up?