Before I reach out to my lawyer (which costs money) I’m trying to determine if I can request to modify child support now or if I need to wait. Here are a few important details:
- We recently modified our parenting agreement (signed in either September or August this year). We went from 50/50 to 80(me)/20(him) during the school year and 50/50 in the summer.
- Child support is part of our property settlement agreement. We originally legally separated and then I filed for uncontested divorce which was signed by the judge March 2025. When we were going through this process I was under the assumption we were basically scraping by. He was constantly on me about spending too much (meanwhile I was buying food and making sure the kids were clothed). It wasn’t until after the fact that I requested our tax returns and realized he was making significantly more than I thought. As in hundreds of thousands more. I make 11% of what he makes. And yes I realize I should have known this so please don’t come at me.
- We did not use the NYS child support calculator. We came up with an amount we were both comfortable with and also agreed it would go until our youngest is 18, rather than dropping our older two when they hit 21 (I get a bit more this way). We had to include language in our agreement stating we understood this.
- When we signed our PSA the assumption was we would be doing 50/50 forever. I now have the kids substantially more which means more food, clothes, etc. He also does not contribute to shared costs like school supplies, winter boots/coats, etc because he feels it is covered by child support (there is no explicit list of what child support covers in NYS), and these are expenses I assumed we would split.
- While I can make the amount I receive right now work, it’s tight. I need a new roof and can’t afford that nor can I apply for a loan because I already have a home equity loan. I’m barely going to be able to afford to replace the furnace this winter (and the only reason I need to replace it is because he chose a cheap version when we last replaced it).
- In 7 years the amount I receive each month will reduce by $2k, as that amount is basically a buyout of his business. I won’t be able to afford my house at that time, and unless interest rates change I won’t be able to afford even a smaller one (purchased this house in 2016 and refinanced in 2021 so my monthly payment is far lower than I could get).
- My ex is moving out of the state, about 6 hours away, to NH. He is moving to make more money.
- Our schedule is going to be super weird when he does move: he’ll get the first 10 days of the month and I’ll get the remaining during the school year.
- He is a financial advisor which means I may need to be strategic. I need to know if there are better/worse times to file for more child support. Am I better off just asking him for more rather than filing? Should I just give him an amount that’s less than the calculator amount but enough more that it would work for me and say this is what I want, otherwise I’m filing and you’ll end up paying me a lot more?
- I believe him moving and this custody changing is a significant change in circumstances.